Hilarious Life Quotes - Page 2
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
George Carlin
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
Joey Adams
Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little.
Thomas Aloysius Dorgan
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Anonymous
Life is as tedious as a twice-told tale vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.
William Shakespeare
There is properly no history; only biography.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen
Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.
Christopher Isherwood
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat.
Lilly Tomlin
The cost of living's going up, and the chance of livin's going down.
Flip Wilson
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Funny death quotes