100 Girls Quotes

100 Girls is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . 100 Girls completed its run in 1970.

It features Kevin Bassinson in charge of musical score, and James Lawrence Spencer as head of cinematography.

100 Girls is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of 100 Girls is 94 minutes long. 100 Girls is distributed by Lionsgate Entertainment.

The cast includes: Jonathan Tucker as Matthew, Emmanuelle Chriqui as Patty, Alex Duda as Rod, Johnny Green as Crick, Jaime Pressly as Cynthia, Katherine Heigl as Arlene, and Larisa Oleynik as Wendy.

100 Girls Quotes

Jonathan Tucker as Matthew

• (Jonathan Tucker) "Y'know, I wonder why God equipped women with all the weapons for seduction."
• (Alex Duda) "What do you mean?"
• (Jonathan Tucker) "Well, take the breast for example. You have the bosom, the areola, the nipple. I mean, those are three concentric circles. In other words, it's a bullseye. It's no wonder the breast is the target for all men."
• (Alex Duda) "Wow. That's profound."
• (Jonathan Tucker) "And men are grotesque. I'm not just talking about the little habits we have --"
• (Jonathan Tucker) "-- like cleaning our ears with our car keys. I mean, we're grotesque to the core. I mean, look at the penis. The penis -- it just looks like God had some left-over skin when he was making elbow, and He decided to slap it in our groin --"
• (Alex Duda) "Hey, get that outta here. It freaks me out, ok?"
• (Jonathan Tucker) "I mean, the penis is the first to shrivel when it's cold, it's the first to shrink in fear. The penis is a coward. It's a cowardly flap of left-over elbow flesh."
• (Alex Duda) "Maybe you wouldn't think that way if you had a little of my Penile Power, baby."

• (Jonathan Tucker) "You know something, Crick. I was wondering. Do the bad guys of the world really know they're being bad? Or do the bad guys actually just think they're being good guys, when, in fact, they're just acting like sphincters?"
• (Johnny Green) "I don't know. You tell me, "smart guy.""
• (Jonathan Tucker) "So you really think you're a good guy?"
• (Johnny Green) "Yeah, I know I am. See, you're the one who's trying to steal my chick. I'm the cool one."
• (Jonathan Tucker) "Cool? Oh, that's another thing that just bothers me. I was just reading that one in six people in the world think they're cool. What is that? Like, a BILLION people are cool? That just can't possibly be right. If everybody's cool, then really, nobody is cool."
• (Johnny Green) "You don't know what you're talking about, guy."
• (Jonathan Tucker) "Look at you. I mean, the modern day media, the magazines, the TV. They show us what coolness is, so that you ponytail pretenders can go out there and buy coolness, thus fooling the weak-minded and unsuspected."

• (Jonathan Tucker) "One hundred girls. And one of them is my true love, my forever soul mate, the Betty to my Barney, my kismetic destiny. The problem is I don't know who she is."

• (Jonathan Tucker) "It was if I was a perverted Prince Charming. Instead of possessing Cinderella's glass slippers, I had her panties."

• (Jonathan Tucker) "I think the only 'ists' there should be are humanists."

• (Jonathan Tucker) "Isn't American cheese appropriately named? You know, it's fake and processed, just like America."

• (Jonathan Tucker) "I had learned something from Rod's groinular fixation. His horror really was my horror too. It was every man's horror. Deny it we may, but we are all afraid of women. Every single one of them. Time had run out. Finals were in a week. Soon, everyone would be leaving the dorms. And next semester, some would relocate to off-campus housing. If I had any hope of finding my kismetic destiny, I had to face my greatest fear. I went to the Virgin Vault, and I declared my love in front of 100 girls. I explained everything I had done for my kismetic destiny. My speech must be my Sistine Chapel, my Ninth Symphony, my Citizen Kane. My words needed to be more inspirational than Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech. They had to be more miraculous than Mark McGuire's 70th home run. I used impressive words like "soul mate," "destiny," and "yearn." It takes a big man to yearn. I poured my heart out."

• (Jonathan Tucker) "I've seen you around. You're a natural born hipster."
• (Johnny Green) "Natural born hipster?"
• (Jonathan Tucker) "Yeah. The next evolution of a jock. You traded in your letterman jacket for a manicured goatee and a Eurotrash ponytail. You're the worst kind of cool. You're the kind of guy who wears male make-up. A real fashion plate. You're proof that those boy-toy doofuses in those men's magazines are all rump rangers."

• (Jonathan Tucker) "Hi, I'm Matt, the new ward study maintenance man. I had a call about some rats."

• (Jonathan Tucker) "There are no clearly defined rules between men and women. So, each side thinks they're playing fair and each side thinks they're being cheated. Maybe, this is why men and women have the innate ability to bring out the poison in one another."

• (Jonathan Tucker) "It's just easier to talk to Cynthia as a girl than as a guy. There's just nothing at stake."
• (Larisa Oleynik) "How do you mean?"
• (Jonathan Tucker) "When you're a guy talking to a girl like Cynthia, you're going for all the marbles. I mean, she's the Super Bowl of women. And you know that if you screw up, and she rejects you, then every other girl after Cynthia is gonna seem like a compromise. And you just know that you weren't good enough to get a girl like her. That's why I don't talk to girls in her league. I just don't want to know that I've crashed and burned, and won't ever get the opportunity to put her Super Bowl ring around my eleventh finger."

• (Jonathan Tucker) "How can a guy have a real conversation with a girl like this when we're made so helpless? In the animal kingdom, when two members of a pack stare at each other, it is a test of dominance. The first one to look away is considered the weaker. When this happens between a man and a woman, the cards are stacked against a man. 'Cause, let's face it, every time a guy meets a girl, he wants to check out her breasts. A man must summon all of his will not to look down at those golden orbs, whose wonderous tips are upturned, aimed right at his eyes."
• (Jonathan Tucker) "Once a man loses his test of nerves, a woman knows she has a great secret power over him, and she can get him do anything she wants. Like a sexual sorceress, Cynthia had several men under her spell."

• (Jonathan Tucker) "In the morning she was gone. I had to find her."

• (Jonathan Tucker) "Hey, what are these? Are these -- Are these stress balls? Like, you know to relieve tension, like uh -- like Humphrey Bogart did in that old movie. What was it called? He was like, there are three ways to do things aboard my vessel. The right way, the wrong way and my way. If you do things my way, we'll get along just fine."
• (Emmanuelle Chriqui) "Those are my Ben Wa Balls."
• (Jonathan Tucker) "What?"
• (Emmanuelle Chriqui) "Ben Wa Balls. You know, I put them inside of me, I rock my legs and I get off."
• (Jonathan Tucker) "Really?"

• (Jonathan Tucker) "Men have this anti-intimacy force field around them. It is powered by sarcasm, humor, and aversion."

Alex Duda as Rod

• (Alex Duda) "You're never gonna get in that virgin vault man. They don't let boys on the girl's side."

• (Alex Duda) "So what are you gonna do about this girl, huh?"
• (Jonathan Tucker) "You know what, she left these"
• (Alex Duda) "Let me see them."
• (Alex Duda) "I don't recognize this one."
• (Jonathan Tucker) "Hey, give them back."

• (Alex Duda) "But check it out, this penile power thing, it's going to help me you know, increase my libido, help me maintain a full, firm erection and it's gonna help me control my ejaculation baby, so I'm going to be going all night long."

• (Alex Duda) "Man, take it easy, and if she's easy, take her twice."

• (Alex Duda) "What are you? A Wyllie E. Coyote super genius or something?"
• (Jonathan Tucker) "Yeah. Something like that."
• (Alex Duda) "Wait, the Coyote never caught the Roadrunner."

• (Alex Duda) "Oh, yeah, nice from a far, but far from nice."

• (Alex Duda) "You know, all you gotta do is find the matching bra to those panties and bam. Mystery solved."
• (Jonathan Tucker) "That's not a half bad idea."
• (Alex Duda) "Yeah."

• (Alex Duda) "You're pathetic man. I mean you lose your virginity and you don't even get the girls name."
• (Jonathan Tucker) "What the hell is that?"
• (Alex Duda) "It's penile power man. I got it out of an ad in a magazine. I mean, it's going to help me increase my length and girth, all just by hanging weights from my cock, man. Check it out man. I'm up to five pounds."

Emmanuelle Chriqui as Patty

• (Emmanuelle Chriqui) "Oh, sweet leaping Jesus."

• (Emmanuelle Chriqui) "You like my skirt, but you're thinking, "If her skirt were any shorter, she'd have another pair of cheeks to powder, and have to put gloss on another pair of lips.""
• (Jonathan Tucker) "I -- I wasn't thinking any of those things. I think you're a nice girl."
• (Jonathan Tucker) "I was lying. I did think all of those things."

• (Emmanuelle Chriqui) "In High School, you would have called me a slut. Now, in College, you call me a good time."

• (Emmanuelle Chriqui) "There's a certain way a man stares at a woman he loves. The man looks like a boy on his birthday. And he treats the woman as if she were a gift that he's waited so long to open and now he can't wait to see what the treasure is inside."

Jaime Pressly as Cynthia

• (Jaime Pressly) "You're Matt. The maintenance guy, right?"
• (Jaime Pressly) "I need some help in my room."

Katherine Heigl as Arlene

• (Katherine Heigl) "Score. Now I wanna see my trophy."

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