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200 Cigarettes Quotes

200 Cigarettes is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . 200 Cigarettes ended in 1970.

It features Betsy Beers as producer, Bob Mothersbaugh in charge of musical score, and Frank Prinzi as head of cinematography.

200 Cigarettes is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of 200 Cigarettes is 101 minutes long. 200 Cigarettes is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Janeane Garofalo as Ellie, Ben Affleck as Bartender, Jay Mohr as Jack, Kate Hudson as Cindy, Courtney Love as Lucy, Paul Rudd as Kevin, Gaby Hoffmann as Stephie, Brian McCardie as Eric, Dave Chappelle as Disco Cabbie, Catherine Kellner as Hillary, and Martha Plimpton as Monica.

200 Cigarettes Quotes

Martha Plimpton as Monica

  • (Martha Plimpton) "I hate you mother f***ers."
  • (Martha Plimpton) "Throwing a party it's like -- it's like an invitation for abuse. It's like the last desperate act of someone who hasn't had a lasting relationship since Junior High."

Janeane Garofalo as Ellie

  • (Janeane Garofalo) "I've dated enough narcissistically neurotic men to know that you are all just a pack of roving babies in search of a giant teat from which to suck the lifeblood out of me until I am a hollow shell."
  • (Janeane Garofalo) "These matches are disappointing me."

Dave Chappelle as Disco Cabbie

  • (Dave Chappelle) "Uh, I'm sensing a lot of hostility coming from the back seat."
  • (Janeane Garofalo) "Oh, really? That's very astute."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "Well, that's not good for me, man. That kind of energy damages the plush interior of my cab, right? And you're blowing a $5.00 high, mama. You need to find yourself a man who's secure enough to appreciate you for the superior woman that you are. I like a strong woman."
  • (Janeane Garofalo) "Oh -- yeah. Mm-hmm."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "And you are a strong woman. If I was you, I would pull over with me and celebrate our strength together. What do you think about that, baby?"
  • (Janeane Garofalo) "This corner's great. This corner's fantastic for me."
  • (Dave Chappelle) "Everybody's having fun out here. They drinking, they fighting, they pissing on the streets. It's New Year's Eve. They loving the ladies."

Ben Affleck as Bartender

  • (Ben Affleck) "And I'm not gay, ok? I get that all the time. No, I'm not gay."
  • (Ben Affleck) "So, how do you like your eggs done in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?"

Brian McCardie as Eric

  • (Brian McCardie) "You bring me over here, and you tell me I'm the worst lover you ever had. And now you tell me it can't be helped."
  • (Brian McCardie) "Look, just tell me one thing. I'm not a vain person. Was the sex any good at all?"
  • (Unnamed) "No. I'm sorry. It was bad."

Paul Rudd as Kevin

  • (Paul Rudd) "What's this?"
  • (Courtney Love) "It's your birthday present, f*** head, open it."
  • (Paul Rudd) "Did you know that cigarettes are a shield against meaningful interaction with people?"
  • (Paul Rudd) "You let somebody move in with you, you make all these little compromises to smooth things along, and the next thing you know, you're on some macrobiotic diet and you're listening to Joni Mitchell."
  • (Paul Rudd) "Look, I'm just gonna go home and kill myself. You wanna share a cab?"
  • (Courtney Love) "So I can pass out and wake up alone on New Year's Day?"

Jay Mohr as Jack

  • (Jay Mohr) "Look, what happened between us last night is like this ongoing problem with me. It happens all the time: I meet someone, we go home together, but then the next day it's --"
  • (Kate Hudson) "What? Next day what?"
  • (Jay Mohr) "Well, they tell me that suddenly they've developed these feelings for me."
  • (Kate Hudson) "What are you saying, that every woman you go home with falls in love with you or something?"
  • (Jay Mohr) "Yes. It's like a curse. It never ends."
  • (Kate Hudson) "A woman falls in love with you and you think that's a curse?"
  • (Jay Mohr) "You have no idea."
  • (Kate Hudson) "No. I don't. Because I think you're lucky. I mean, there are some people who wait their entire lives for somebody to tell them they feel that way about them, and you, you just throw it away like it's nothing, like it's a minor inconvenience. Well let me tell you something, Jack, you are cursed; just not the way you think you are."

Courtney Love as Lucy

  • (Courtney Love) "You need to find somebody that likes you the way you are."
  • (Paul Rudd) "And who would possibly like me the way I am?"
  • (Courtney Love) "I have no idea."
  • (Courtney Love) "In the five years we've known each other, have you once even ever considered having sex with me? Apart from tonight. You don't think I'm attracted to you."
  • (Paul Rudd) "I don't think you're attracted to half the men you sleep with."
  • (Courtney Love) "You think I'm a slut."
  • (Paul Rudd) "What? No."
  • (Courtney Love) "Yeah, you think I'm a big slut."
  • (Paul Rudd) "I don't think you're a slut. A skanky little ho maybe, but never a slut."
  • (Courtney Love) "The truth is, you're afraid."
  • (Paul Rudd) "What? I'm afraid. I'm, yeah, OK, you -- I feel so naked right now. I'm totally afraid."
  • (Courtney Love) "It is so obvious."
  • (Paul Rudd) "And so ridiculous."
  • (Courtney Love) "Prove it."
  • (Paul Rudd) "I don't have to prove anything."
  • (Courtney Love) "I dare you. Kevin, I dare you to f*** me."

Gaby Hoffmann as Stephie

  • (Gaby Hoffmann) "You just stay the f*** away from B."

Catherine Kellner as Hillary

  • (Catherine Kellner) "I don't want to look desperate."
  • (Martha Plimpton) "Desperate? You could stand there naked with a mattress strapped to your back and still look like a vestal virgin."
  • (Catherine Kellner) "Do you think that would work?"

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