50 First Dates Quotes

50 First Dates is a television program that first aired in 1970 . 50 First Dates completed its run in 1970.

It features Jack Giarraputo as producer, Teddy Castellucci in charge of musical score, and Jack N. Green as head of cinematography.

50 First Dates is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of 50 First Dates is 99 minutes long. 50 First Dates is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Adam Sandler as Henry, Drew Barrymore as Lucy, Blake Clark as Marlin, Maya Rudolph as Stacy, Rob Schneider as Ula, Sean Astin as Doug, Pomaika'i Brown as Nick, Lynn Collins as Linda, Amy Hill as Sue, Lusia Strus as Alexa, Blake Clark as Man, and Missi Pyle as Noreen.

50 First Dates Quotes

Adam Sandler as Henry

• (Ula's Kid) "What's wrong with that turtle?"
• (Adam Sandler) "He has lung problems cause he smoked too much turtle weed, which is bad for you. Right Ula?"
• (Rob Schneider) "What? I don't smoke weed."

• (Adam Sandler) "Ha-ha-ha -- Shut up."

• (Adam Sandler) "Okay, well, I had a great time."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Me too."
• (Adam Sandler) "Okay."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Would you like to have breakfast again tomorrow morning, same time? Because I teach art class at ten."
• (Adam Sandler) "Oh, really?"
• (Drew Barrymore) "Yeah."
• (Adam Sandler) "I wish I could make it, but, yes, I will be there."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Take care."
• (Adam Sandler) "Okay."
• (Drew Barrymore) "One for the road. It is fishy."
• (Adam Sandler) "Got you good. Aloha."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Aloha."
• (Adam Sandler) "See you tomorrow. Oh, my God."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Oh, my goodness."
• (Adam Sandler) "s***. I had a bee on me."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Alright."
• (Adam Sandler) "It was a big one."
• (Old Hawaiian Man) "Which means "look at those two s*** heads"."

• (Adam Sandler) "Jocko, this is Lucy. Lucy, this is Jocko."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Wow. Thank you. Nice to meet you. He is awesome. He is so smart."
• (Adam Sandler) "Check this out. Jocko, what does the teapot do when the water's ready? Very good."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Hey, can I ask him a question?"
• (Adam Sandler) "Go ahead."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Jocko, do you think that Henry and I are ready to take our relationship to the next level? You sure about that? And do you think that I should bring him into the other room and take advantage of him? I saw that hand gesture. And I'm glad you did it."
• (Adam Sandler) "Really?"

• (Adam Sandler) "The Beach Boys? How nice of that man to give me a CD that will remind me of all the wonderful times I shared with his daughter. What an asshole."
• (Adam Sandler) "WHY would you do this to me?"
• (Adam Sandler) "Oh my god, is he trying to tell me something?"

• (Adam Sandler) "Wait, uh -- What is going on? I was kidding around with you. What's happening here? Is she crazy or something?"
• (Amy Hill) "Lucy is a very special person. Very different from other people."
• (Adam Sandler) "Okay."
• (Amy Hill) "About a year ago, Lucy was in a terrible car accident. She and her father went up North Shore to get a pineapple. Her Father broke some ribs, but Lucy suffered a serious head injury. She lost her short term memory."
• (Adam Sandler) "So she can't remember anything?"
• (Amy Hill) "No, no, no. She has all of her long term memory. That's a different part of the brain. Her whole life, up to the night before the accident, she remembers. She just can't retain any new information. It's like her slate gets wiped clean every night while she sleeps."
• (Adam Sandler) "Hold on, here. This sounds like something I would tell a psycho girl so she would stop calling me. Am I the psycho girl?"
• (Amy Hill) "I wish I was making this up. She has no memory that she ever met you."
• (Adam Sandler) "What about the pineapple thing?"
• (Amy Hill) "She says that every day, because each morning she wakes up thinking it's October thirteenth of last year. She comes here for breakfast because that's what she did on Sundays, and October thirteenth was a Sunday. She has no idea it's more than a year later."
• (Adam Sandler) "She reads the newspaper though."
• (Amy Hill) "It's a special paper her Father puts on their porch every night. It's from the day of her accident. He got hundreds of them printed up. Lucy does the same thing everyday."

• (Adam Sandler) "Happy birthday, sir. What are you, like, 200 today?"

• (Adam Sandler) "See what happens when you play with sharks."
• (Rob Schneider) "Sharks are like dogs, they only bite when you touch their private parts."

• (Adam Sandler) "Pardon me. Sorry to interrupt, but I notice we were both eating alone and I thought perhaps I could sit with you, maybe build a syrup Jacuzzi for your waffle house?"
• (Drew Barrymore) "Oh, that would be nice, but I have a boyfriend. I'm sorry."
• (Adam Sandler) "You're making up a boyfriend so you can get rid of me?"
• (Drew Barrymore) "No. I'm not."
• (Adam Sandler) "What's his name then?"
• (Drew Barrymore) "Ringo."
• (Adam Sandler) "Is his last name, Starr?"
• (Drew Barrymore) "No. McCartney."

• (Adam Sandler) "Thanks buddy. What does it mean, again?"
• (Rob Schneider) "Bring me back a t-shirt"

• (Old Hawaiian Man) "Are you staring at me or her? 'Cause you're starting to freak me out."
• (Adam Sandler) "Settle down and eat your pancakes, huh."

• (Adam Sandler) "Do you have any idea who I am?"
• (Drew Barrymore) "No."
• (Adam Sandler) "No. That sucks."

• (Adam Sandler) "Actually I'm not drunk at all, Noreen, and neither are you, because there's no alcohol in these drinks. Sadly, I've used this technique many times. It helps lovely tourists such as yourself loosen up without impairing your ability to stay awake all night and have guilt free vigorous sex with me."
• (Missi Pyle) "Wow."

• (Adam Sandler) "The part of you for this reenactment will be played by my good friend, Ula."
• (Rob Schneider) "Aloha. Sorry about your brain."

• (Adam Sandler) "I'll see ya around."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Okay."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Really? That's it?"
• (Adam Sandler) "That's what?"
• (Drew Barrymore) "All that flirting and phony "I can't read" stuff, and then you're not gonna ask me out or for my phone number?"
• (Adam Sandler) "I can't read."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Oh, shut up. That was one of the goofiest things I've ever seen in my life, but I thought, "Hey, if this guy is so desperate to meet me, he might be worth talking to." But then I get stiffed."
• (Adam Sandler) "No, no, no, this is what happened. I --"
• (Drew Barrymore) "Mahalo for the ego boost."

• (Adam Sandler) "Okay, pal. When she stops, just let her pet you. Look cute. Go to the middle of the road. Thank you. Right there. Perfect."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Oh, s***."
• (Adam Sandler) "Here she comes. Smile. Where is she? Oh, my God. Oh no. Okay that didn't work. s*** your pants? So did I."

• (Adam Sandler) "And why is your foot on my pillow?"
• (Rob Schneider) "Sorry brah"
• (Adam Sandler) "And I don't want your ass on it either."

• (Adam Sandler) "Grandpa's here."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Hi dad."

• (Adam Sandler) "Appreciate your time. Not everybody would have stopped like you. You're real sweet."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Oh, yeah. Thank you."
• (Adam Sandler) "Okay."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Okay."
• (Adam Sandler) "Hah. I can't believe you fell for that."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Well -- my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car --"
• (Adam Sandler) "Oh -- I'm so sorry. I was just joking around."
• (Drew Barrymore) "I can't believe you fell for THAT."

• (Old Hawaiian Man) "Can I have that? I need something to wipe my ass with."
• (Adam Sandler) "Ha ha ha. Shut up."

• (Adam Sandler) "Good morning. Lucy. Lucy. Hey, hey, hey. Okay, I know this is hard for you to understand right now, but we are actually seeing each other."

• (Dr. Keats) "Little Sammy Sosa's a bit shook up, but she'll be okay. She's watching the tape as we speak."
• (Adam Sandler) "Good. How's my temporal lobe looking there, Doc?"
• (Dr. Keats) "Don't worry. You're not gonna suffer any short term memory loss. But was your head shaped like an egg before she hit you?"
• (Sean Astin) "Hey. Don't make fun of Henry, all right? It'th not hith fault hith head'th thaped like that."
• (Dr. Keats) "Note the intense overreaciton. That's the 'roids talking."

• (Jet Skiier) "What the hell is wrong with you?"
• (Adam Sandler) "Just keep going, I'll give you twenty dollars."
• (Jet Skiier) "You got it. How's your balls?"
• (Adam Sandler) "Killing me. Hit it."

• (Adam Sandler) "Ula. Get back to cleaning the pool. And if that's one of your special brownies, don't let any of the dolphins eat that."
• (Rob Schneider) "How do you think I get the dolphins to do double-flips and play with the white kids?"

• (Adam Sandler) "Let me ask you something, Alexa. If you made a promise to a girl's dad that you would not see her anymore -- would you consider that like a binding promise?"
• (Lusia Strus) "Absolutely."
• (Adam Sandler) "Yeah?"
• (Lusia Strus) "But then again, there are always ways around such things."
• (Adam Sandler) "Like?"
• (Lusia Strus) "For example. If I promised a woman's father I would not see her -- I would simply shut my eyes, while she serviced my manhood."
• (Adam Sandler) "That's actually a cool way to look at it. And a very gross way."

• (Adam Sandler) "Here, you should try this out. Put this here. Swivelly door. Waffleonians can come in and out now."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Oh, are you from a country where it's okay to stick your fingers all over someone else's food?"
• (Adam Sandler) "Uh, no, I'm from this country."
• (Adam Sandler) "Were you gonna eat that?"

• (Adam Sandler) "You know, why don't you try this? It's a kind of hinge."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Now, why didn't I think of that?"
• (Adam Sandler) "You're too close to the object. Don't be too hard on yourself."
• (Drew Barrymore) "You're right. Sometimes you need an outsider's perspective."
• (Adam Sandler) "Fresh eye never hurts."
• (Drew Barrymore) "I'm Lucy."
• (Adam Sandler) "Yes. I'm Henry Roth. Nice to meet you."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Nice to meet you."

• (Adam Sandler) "Hey. Tattoo Face."
• (Pomaika'i Brown) "Hey, Peanut Butter Cups."

• (Adam Sandler) "I don't think that's an option, Lisa."
• (Lynn Collins) "Linda."
• (Adam Sandler) "I know. I changed your name for your protection."

• (Adam Sandler) "I'm gonna miss you buddy, but I gotta get the hell off this island."

• (Adam Sandler) "I drew this, it's a picture of a father and son fishing off a fishing boat."
• (Adam Sandler) "You don't speak English."

• (Dr. Keats) "All I know about walruses is that out of all mammals they have the second largest penis. I have the first."
• (Adam Sandler) "That's my joke."

• (Adam Sandler) "I bet you twenty bucks, I can get her to have breakfast with me again."
• (Pomaika'i Brown) "You're on."

• (Dr. Keats) "And now ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce you to our most distinguished clinical subject: Tom"
• (Ten Second Tom) "Hi, I'm Tom."
• (Adam Sandler) "Henry."
• (Blake Clark) "Marlin."
• (Sean Astin) "Doug."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Lucy."
• (Ten Second Tom) "Hi. Oh, those are cool flip flops. Where did you get them?"
• (Sean Astin) "You like those? It's interesting story. I was over on the North Shore the other day --"
• (Ten Second Tom) "Hi, I'm Tom."
• (Adam Sandler) "Henry."
• (Ten Second Tom) "Hi."
• (Blake Clark) "Marlin."

• (Adam Sandler) "Actually I'm going on a trip in a little while to study undersea Pacific walrus behaviors."
• (Sean Astin) "Thounds kind of fruity."
• (Adam Sandler) "Thank you."
• (Sean Astin) "How long'th it going to take?"
• (Adam Sandler) "Uh -- about a year."
• (Sean Astin) "I gueth you won't mith days like thith."
• (Adam Sandler) "Well, maybe days like this don't have to be so bad."
• (Blake Clark) "What are you trying to say?"
• (Adam Sandler) "Well, when you guys tell her, she's not just finding out about the accident. She's finding out that her life is basically a setup. I think that's what freaks her out the most."
• (Sean Astin) "Oh, you're an exthpert now?"
• (Adam Sandler) "No. I'm just saying I wish there was another way besides: "Sorry we couldn't trick you today. Here's some pictures of your broken head.""
• (Sean Astin) "You wanna broken head, huh thmart guy?"
• (Blake Clark) "Why? You gonna give it to him?"
• (Sean Astin) "No, Daddy, I thought you wath gonna do it."
• (Adam Sandler) "Nobody's gotta break my head, guys. I'm gonna split anyways."
• (Blake Clark) "Don't go just 'cause my thon is thychotic."
• (Adam Sandler) "Good night. Sweet dreams. Keep 'em dry there Doug."
• (Sean Astin) "Very funny."

• (Adam Sandler) "Officer, I think there's been a misunderstanding."
• (Unnamed) "I don't."

• (Old Hawaiian Man) "That was pathetic."
• (Adam Sandler) "Yeah? Why don't you choke on your spam."

• (Adam Sandler) "Okay, this is her. Start beating me up. Make it look good."
• (Rob Schneider) "Give me your wallet. Okay, haole, what do you think? You can come to this island, eat our pineapple."
• (Adam Sandler) "Help me. Not so hard. Take it easy."
• (Rob Schneider) "Try to bang our women. Making my sister clean your hotel room."
• (Adam Sandler) "Okay. What does that have to do with this? Relax. Hey. Hey. Help me, please."
• (Rob Schneider) "Stupid haole."

• (Adam Sandler) "Hi. Sorry for the delay. Should be a few minutes."
• (Drew Barrymore) "No problem. No worries."
• (Adam Sandler) "Where are you coming form? Breakfast?"
• (Drew Barrymore) "Yeah."
• (Adam Sandler) "How was it?"
• (Drew Barrymore) "I had waffles. They were delicious."
• (Adam Sandler) "I like making little houses out of waffles."
• (Drew Barrymore) "You do?"
• (Adam Sandler) "That's my thing. What's your name?"
• (Drew Barrymore) "Lucy."
• (Adam Sandler) "Hi, I'm Henry."

Sean Astin as Doug

• (Sean Astin) "Happy birthday to you."
• (Drew Barrymore) "And you don't look a day over twenty five."
• (Blake Clark) "Yeah, right. And Doug's muscles aren't pharmaceutically enhanced."
• (Sean Astin) "What are you talking about? I use a herb supplement that can be purchased at any health food store. Check this out. Check out these glutes. Rock hard, baby. Pretty sweet, huh."
• (Blake Clark) "Stop it. You're gonna make me throw up on the cake."

• (Sean Astin) "Check this out."

• (Sean Astin) "Thith ith from Nick and Thue. They thend their betht witheth for a thafe trip."
• (Adam Sandler) "That's very nice. Spam and Reese's. All right."
• (Sean Astin) "I love Thpam and Reethe's, can I have it?"
• (Adam Sandler) "Um, I guess."
• (Blake Clark) "Doug."

• (Sean Astin) "Anything with Lucy is a one night stand, numb nuts."

• (Sean Astin) "Hey Trathie, how you doin'? Yeah, well things changed thince high thcool."

Rob Schneider as Ula

• (Rob Schneider) "You meet her, hang out, flirt, no commitment, nobody gets hurt."
• (Adam Sandler) "She's got brain damage, you psycho."
• (Rob Schneider) "Okay, I'll give you that one. But I think it'd be healthy for you. You haven't allowed yourself to connect with a girl for many years."
• (Adam Sandler) "I appreciate your interest Ula, but leave me alone."
• (Rob Schneider) "Hey, you'd be doing exactly what her father does: Giving her a wonderful day. Then when it's time for you to go on your big boat trip, poof, you just leave. She'll never even know you're gone."
• (Adam Sandler) "See I'm not sure about the "poofing" part, because I'm not a very big poofer. Could you demonstrate a good poof for me."
• (Rob Schneider) "Quit busting my coconuts for five seconds."
• (Adam Sandler) "Alright. Would you stop poofing on that joint and do some work."
• (Rob Schneider) "Okay. Let's get this sucker ready. Then we're gonna take her out for a spin."

• (Rob Schneider) "You kids suck; you're good at everything."

• (Rob Schneider) "Really? Even though in 10-15 years she could possibly let herself go and then sex would be like, nauseating, for you?"
• (Adam Sandler) "What, are you nuts? Your wife's right over there."
• (Rob Schneider) "I'm just kidding, Muumuu."

• (Rob Schneider) "Dude, I met this sexy blonde tax attorney from Florida at Starbucks today. I told her you the kahuna she wanna have fun on this island. You want her number?"
• (Adam Sandler) "You pimping tourists for me again, Ula?"
• (Rob Schneider) "Yes. I live vicariously through you, remember? My life sucks. Now, come on give her the Waikikiki sneaky behind the cheeky."

• (Rob Schneider) "I think I pulled out my stitches again."
• (Rob Schneider) "Hey, did you get a cat? Because I feel something licking me --"

• (Rob Schneider) "You're such a lau lau."

• (Rob Schneider) "Oh, you crazy bitch."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Yeah, keep running."

• (Rob Schneider) "Hey. Kikikuloa. No flippies off the dock. You could get hurt. Let the Master show you how it's done."
• (Rob Schneider) "One of you kids go down there and find my nuts."

• (Rob Schneider) "Come on, I need some details. You get some booby, some assy, a pull on your poi-poi? Come on."
• (Ula's Kid) "Daddy, what's a nympho?"
• (Rob Schneider) "Uh, the nympho is the state bird of Ohio."
• (Adam Sandler) "You're the state idiot of Hawaii."

• (Rob Schneider) "Aquariums make me super horny."

• (Ula's Kid) "Hey, Dad."
• (Rob Schneider) "Not now, Keanu Mokokokakau."
• (Ula's Kid) "But your stitches are bleeding."
• (Rob Schneider) "It must have been my huge back swing. You think you can stitch me up tonight after I get back from surfing?"
• (Adam Sandler) "Yeah, I'm looking forward to it."
• (Caddy) "I wouldn't surf with a bleeding wound like that. You might attract a shark or something."
• (Rob Schneider) "What's wrong with that, cuz? Sharks are naturally peaceful."
• (Caddy) "Is that right? How'd you get that nasty cut anyway?"
• (Rob Schneider) "A shark bit me."
• (Caddy) "Nice. Go smoke another one, bro."

• (Rob Schneider) "My shirt size is medium husky."

Pomaika'i Brown as Nick

• (Pomaika'i Brown) "What did Sue say?"
• (Adam Sandler) "She said that if I talk to Lucy you'll kill me with a meat cleaver."

• (Pomaika'i Brown) "Since you lost your memory, I became governor of Hawaii. No, just kidding. I'm too smart."

• (Pomaika'i Brown) "Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups."
• (Adam Sandler) "Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-In-One-Punch."

Drew Barrymore as Lucy

• (Drew Barrymore) "I've never even met you."

• (Dr. Keats) "It could be worse."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Yeah? How?"
• (Dr. Keats) "I think you should meet ten second Tom."

• (Drew Barrymore) "Stalker."
• (Adam Sandler) "No, no, no. Don't you remember me a little?"

• (Drew Barrymore) "I don't know who you are, Henry -- but I dream about you almost every night."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Why?"
• (Adam Sandler) "What would you say if I told you that notebook you read every day used to have a lot of stuff about me in it?"
• (Drew Barrymore) "I would say that that makes a lot of sense."
• (Adam Sandler) "You erased me from your memories because you thought you were holding me back from having a full and happy life. But you made a mistake. Being with you is the only way I could have a full and happy life. You're the girl of my dreams -- and apparently, I'm the man of yours."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Henry. It's nice to meet you."
• (Adam Sandler) "Lucy, it's nice to meet you too."
• (Ten Second Tom) "Hi, I'm Tom."

• (Drew Barrymore) "Did Alicia marry that guy?"
• (Blake Clark) "yea."
• (Adam Sandler) "Doug, did you win the Mr. Hawaiian contest?"
• (Sean Astin) "I didn't know there wath gonna be a urine tethst."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Did we have sex?"
• (Adam Sandler) "No, we didn't. Just so everyone knows"
• (Adam Sandler) "We want to."
• (Adam Sandler) "Just kidding."

• (Drew Barrymore) "I wonder what's the matter with him."
• (Old Hawaiian Man) "Looks like a stupid asshole to me."

• (Drew Barrymore) "What's the score?"
• (Blake Clark) "Vikings have it at the two yard line."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Maybe the Vikings will win for your birthday, and I'll bet Culpepper runs it in."
• (Sean Astin) "I'll bet he fakes the handoff to Williams and throws it Kleinsasser in the end zone. Loser does the dishes?"
• (Drew Barrymore) "You're on."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Darn. Maybe you should be a coach, Doug."
• (Blake Clark) "Moron."

• (Drew Barrymore) "It's a video tape."

• (Drew Barrymore) "What are you doing?"
• (Adam Sandler) "Nothing, I was just getting some lint off for you --"
• (Drew Barrymore) "You were going for a feelski."
• (Adam Sandler) "All right, I'm sorry -- But this is like the twenty third time we've made out already and -- they're getting blue."

• (Drew Barrymore) "Yeah, that's right. Take that. And that. And that. And that. And that."
• (Adam Sandler) "You got him. You got him. Enough. Enough."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Are you okay?"
• (Adam Sandler) "Yes."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Okay, I'll be right back. Hey. Come here."
• (Adam Sandler) "No, no, no. I think he's had enough. I'm sorry."
• (Rob Schneider) "My eye."
• (Adam Sandler) "You got him."
• (Drew Barrymore) "Not good enough."
• (Rob Schneider) "Oh, Kamehameha."
• (Adam Sandler) "He learned his lesson."

• (Drew Barrymore) "I just want to eat you up tomorrow and the next day."

• (Drew Barrymore) "I can't believe it -- Bruce Willis is a ghost."

Lusia Strus as Alexa

• (Lusia Strus) "I guess I prefer sausage to taco."

• (Lusia Strus) "I am grouchy due to lack of recent physical intimacy."
• (Adam Sandler) "Oooo --"
• (Lusia Strus) "Shut up, because here comes one-time only opportunity. What I will do now is go into your office and become naked."
• (Lusia Strus) "Next move is up to you. I may not be as limber as I once was -- but yeah, I make up for it with enthusiasm and willingness to experiment."
• (Adam Sandler) "I don't know if you realize, I'm not into guys."

• (Lusia Strus) "Henry, come quickly, it's Jocko."
• (Adam Sandler) "Alexa, get me two fish from the barrel"
• (Lusia Strus) "He's not responding."
• (Adam Sandler) "Calm down. I'm gonna try to get him breathing manually so I need your face next to his mouth to see it if's working. Are you ready? 1, 2, 3."
• (Lusia Strus) "Nothing, nothing."
• (Adam Sandler) "Alright. I'm gonna try it one more time. One -- two -- three."
• (Adam Sandler) "Yikes, that's a lot of vomit."
• (Lusia Strus) "This is why I got into this business, to save sea animals."
• (Adam Sandler) "Yeah, buddy. I knew you were gonna burp but the vomit thing was awesome. That's what she gets for eating my roast beef sandwich."

Blake Clark as Marlin

• (Blake Clark) "Okay, okay, okay. Enough with the titty dance."

• (Blake Clark) "Henry Roth --"
• (Lynn Collins) "Henry Roth, why didn't you tell me you were a secret agent?"

• (Blake Clark) "Doug, once again, off the juice."
• (Sean Astin) "It'th not juithe. It'th a protein thake."

• (Blake Clark) "You sure you don't want to take Doug with you?"
• (Adam Sandler) "Hey. What the heck are you guys doing here?"

Missi Pyle as Noreen

• (Missi Pyle) "I'd like to do something extra fun tonight."
• (Rob Schneider) "Uh-oh."

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