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8 Heads in a Duffel Bag Quotes

8 Heads in a Duffel Bag is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag stopped airing in 1970.

It features Jeffrey D. Ivers as producer, Andrew Gross in charge of musical score, and Adam Holender as head of cinematography.

8 Heads in a Duffel Bag is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag is 95 minutes long. 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag is distributed by Orion Pictures Corporation.

The cast includes: Joe Pesci as Tommy Spinelli, David Spade as Ernie, Todd Louiso as Steve, Anthony Mangano as Rico, Dyan Cannon as Annette, Andy Comeau as Charlie, Ernestine Mercer as Fern, Joe Basile as Benny, and Kristy Swanson as Laurie.

8 Heads in a Duffel Bag Quotes

David Spade as Ernie

  • (David Spade) "Are you telling us that you're gonna find a replacement for the head Charlie lost?"
  • (Joe Pesci) "Yeah. We got some time to kill before we go to the airport."
  • (Todd Louiso) "But these are human beings. Innocent people. You can't just kill innocent people because they look like somebody else."
  • (Joe Pesci) "Let me tell you something, college boy, nobody is innocent. Now who is he?"
  • (Todd Louiso) "He's my anatomy professor. He almost flunked me."
  • (Joe Pesci) "Good. Here's your chance to get even with the prick. Get me his address."
  • (Todd Louiso) "Alrighty."
  • (David Spade) "Okay, let's review: you've got a Hugo, a Little Joey, a Frank, a bad Stu --"
  • (Joe Pesci) "No, bad Frank."
  • (David Spade) "That's what I said."
  • (Joe Pesci) "No you didn't. You said bad Stu. Stu was just so-so."
  • (David Spade) "No, sir, I said a so-so Stu."
  • (Joe Pesci) "You did not. You said bad Stu."
  • (David Spade) "Yes I did and everybody heard. I said a so-so Stu."
  • (Joe Pesci) "You said bad Stu."
  • (David Spade) "I know the names and you don't --"
  • (Todd Louiso) "Would you two stop it, goddammit. These are not baseball cards we're talking about here. These are heads. Human beings' heads."
  • (David Spade) "This university has the largest cryonics facility in the country. They've got hundreds of frozen heads."
  • (Joe Pesci) "Why do they got hundreds of frozen heads?"
  • (David Spade) "I think for, uh, situations like this."
  • (Joe Pesci) "Hey don't be a little smart ass, you."
  • (David Spade) "Look, they have them because people feel that maybe in a couple hundred years, we can bring them back to life, clone them a nice, healthy body."
  • (Joe Pesci) "Are you jerking me around?"
  • (David Spade) "What? Oh my God. You just put welts and bruises over 90% of my body and now you're talking about having me help you decapitate some professor. WOULD I BE JERKING YOU AROUND?"
  • (David Spade) "Tell me if this sounds like a phone hanging up."
  • (Joe Pesci) "Yeah -- s***."
  • (David Spade) "This doggy wont be doin' any more running away, I got him trained"

Joe Pesci as Tommy Spinelli

  • (Joe Pesci) "Look, I don't want to have to put you kids through hell so let me tell you what's going to happen. First I'm gonna hurt you. Then you're gonna try to be brave. Then I'm gonna hurt you again, then you're gonna tell me everything."
  • (Joe Pesci) "Alright, grab all the heads. Just leave the top one."
  • (David Spade) "Why?"
  • (Joe Pesci) "Because the top one doesn't look like anybody and Big Sep will never buy it. Now come on."
  • (Todd Louiso) "Wait a minute. I sawed off this head and you're not even gonna use it?"
  • (David Spade) "Steve, chill."
  • (Todd Louiso) "No, you chill. I spent alot of time on this head. Don't you think you could have at least told me this before I cut it off?"
  • (David Spade) "Ooh. I saw that coming."
  • (Joe Pesci) "Don't ever f*** with a guy looking for heads."
  • (Paramedic) "What? What are you -- Don't kick it. For God's sake, those are live human organs."
  • (Joe Pesci) "Trust me, pal, they don't feel it."
  • (Joe Pesci) "I thought I told that little son of a bitch to stay put."
  • (Ernestine Mercer) "So who are you? God? Why the hell should he listen to you?"
  • (Joe Pesci) "Where's Charlie?"
  • (Ernestine Mercer) "Who are you?"
  • (Joe Pesci) "I asked you a question, where the f*** is Charlie?"
  • (Ernestine Mercer) "And I asked you a question, who the f*** are you?"
  • (Joe Pesci) "I need a flight to Bethesda University."
  • (Ticket Taker) "I'm not sure the university has its own airport but we can fly you to Baltimore, will that do?"
  • (Joe Pesci) "Hey don't get cute with me, asshole, huh?"

Andy Comeau as Charlie

  • (Andy Comeau) "Laurie, you're not in the hallway. You're in the closet."
  • (Kristy Swanson) "Don't you think I realize that? I'm not coming out."
  • (Andy Comeau) "Laurie."
  • (Kristy Swanson) "I'm not."
  • (Andy Comeau) "You have to come out."
  • (Kristy Swanson) "No."
  • (Andy Comeau) "The bodies are in there."
  • (Andy Comeau) "I was just kidding."

Anthony Mangano as Rico

  • (Anthony Mangano) "Don't do anything stupid and nothing stupid will happen."
  • (Anthony Mangano) "Show me the law on bringing a head out of the country, ah? It ain't a fruit, it ain't a vegetable, it ain't even a plant, goddamm it."

Joe Basile as Benny

  • (Joe Basile) "You do that and Big Sep kills us all."
  • (Andy Comeau) "f*** Big Sep."

Todd Louiso as Steve

  • (Todd Louiso) "This is like grave robbing; grave robbing. Or worse."
  • (David Spade) "I don't see any graves. Do you see any graves?"
  • (Joe Pesci) "There's going to be two fresh ones right now if you don't start looking for heads. Come on."
  • (Todd Louiso) "No, please don't. I fly. I fly."
  • (Joe Pesci) "What are you, a fairy?"
  • (Todd Louiso) "Heads up. Stop a-head. Anybody need to use the head?"
  • (David Spade) "Steve --"
  • (Todd Louiso) "Oh, don't let it go to your head. Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're _way_ ahead of me."
  • (David Spade) "Steve. Enough."
  • (Todd Louiso) "Hey, don't bite my head off, alright."
  • (David Spade) "That's it. I'm sleeping outside, guys."
  • (Dyan Cannon) "Me, too."
  • (Andy Comeau) "Hey, Steve; GET A GRIP. Go to sleep."
  • (Todd Louiso) "Or what? You'll have my head?"

Kristy Swanson as Laurie

  • (Kristy Swanson) "Nana, they tortured him."
  • (Ernestine Mercer) "So what? A little castor oil down his gullet."
  • (Dyan Cannon) "Uh."
  • (Ernestine Mercer) "A little electricity on his dillywhacker."
  • (Dyan Cannon) "Uh."
  • (Ernestine Mercer) "Cat piss."
  • (Kristy Swanson) "Charlie, I've got it: Fed Ex. Fed Ex them to Steve."
  • (Andy Comeau) "We're in Mexico, Laurie. There is no Fed Ex."
  • (Kristy Swanson) "Well Mex Ex them. I don't care."

Dyan Cannon as Annette

  • (Dyan Cannon) "Oh my God. I don't believe it. I thought the old battle ax would never die."
  • (Dyan Cannon) "Oh my God. AAH. AHH. Another head. Oh my God. Help. Help."
  • (Joe Pesci) "Lady, lady, shut up."
  • (Dyan Cannon) "I can't stand it. I'm losing my mind. Everywhere I look, there are heads. AAAAA."
  • (Joe Pesci) "Shut up lady, Jesus Christ. You're not the only person on the planet with problems, OK? Shut it. Jesus, what a head case."
  • (Ernestine Mercer) "Is that supposed to be a JOKE? Killer humor?"
  • (Dyan Cannon) "Looked like this guy I dated in high school, this Hugo -- Hugo Porto. Eww."
  • (Dyan Cannon) "You hid those heads in our room then pinned them on my Dick."

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