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A Day at the Races (film) Quotes

A Day at the Races (film) is a television program that first aired in 1970 . A Day at the Races ended in 1970.

It features Sam Wood as producer, Walter Jurmann in charge of musical score, and Joseph Ruttenberg as head of cinematography.

A Day at the Races (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of A Day at the Races (film) is 109 minutes long. A Day at the Races (film) is distributed by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.

The cast includes: Groucho Marx as Dr. Hackenbush, Margaret Dumont as Mrs. Upjohn, Leonard Ceeley as Whitmore, Chico Marx as Tony, Esther Muir as Flo, Sig Ruman as Dr. Leopold X. Steinberg, Allan Jones as Gil, and Maureen O'Sullivan as Judy.

A Day at the Races (film) Quotes

Margaret Dumont as Mrs. Upjohn

  • (Margaret Dumont) "How long do you want me to do this, Doctor?"
  • (Groucho Marx) "Just until you fly away."
  • (Margaret Dumont) "Dr. Hackenbush tells me I'm the only case in history. I have high blood pressure on my right side and low blood pressure on my left side."
  • (Sig Ruman) "There is no such thing. She looks as healthy as any woman I ever met."
  • (Groucho Marx) "You don't look as though you've ever met a healthy woman."

Chico Marx as Tony

  • (Chico Marx) "Morgan fired you, huh? He wanted you to throw the race?"
  • (Allan Jones) "Wanted Stuffy to be crooked, eh?"
  • (Chico Marx) "Yeah, you know he's honest."
  • (Chico Marx) "He's honest, but you gotta watch him a little."
  • (Chico Marx) "One dollar and you'll remember me all your life."
  • (Groucho Marx) "That's the most nauseating proposition I ever had."
  • (Chico Marx) "Have you got a woman in here?"
  • (Groucho Marx) "If I haven't, I've wasted 30 minutes of valuable time."
  • (Chico Marx) "Have you got a woman in here?"
  • (Groucho Marx) "If I haven't, I've wasted thirty minutes of valuable time."
  • (Chico Marx) "Well, that's-a fine. Now we owe the Sheriff a hundred and twenty dollars and a sock."
  • (Chico Marx) "Hey doc, can you see us?"
  • (Groucho Marx) "If I can't there's something wrong with my glasses."
  • (Chico Marx) "We come to hang the paper."
  • (Groucho Marx) "How about hanging yourselves?"
  • (Chico Marx) "You wanna something hot?"
  • (Groucho Marx) "Not now, I just ate. Besides I don't like hot ice cream."
  • (Chico Marx) "Getta your tootsie-frootsie ice cream."

Groucho Marx as Dr. Hackenbush

  • (Groucho Marx) "It's the old, old story. Boy meets girl; Romeo and Juliet; Minneapolis and St. Paul."
  • (Groucho Marx) "Hey, don't drink that poison. That's $4.00 an ounce."
  • (Groucho Marx) "She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me."
  • (Groucho Marx) "Oh, well, uh, to begin with I took four years at Vassar."
  • (Margaret Dumont) "Vassar? But that's a girls' college."
  • (Groucho Marx) "I found that out the third year. I'd 've been there yet, but I went out for the swimming team."
  • (Groucho Marx) "I'm too busy right now. I'll tell you what. I'll put the 'O' on now and come back later for the 'K.'"
  • (Groucho Marx) "You know, I proposed to your mother once."
  • (Maureen O'Sullivan) "But that's my father."
  • (Groucho Marx) "No wonder he turned me down."
  • (Groucho Marx) "Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."
  • (Groucho Marx) "If that's his adam's apple, he's got yellow fever."
  • (Chico Marx) "He's got in-grown balloons."
  • (Groucho Marx) "I'd rather have it rusty than missing."
  • (Groucho Marx) "Don't point that beard at me. It might go off."
  • (Groucho Marx) "Say "ah.""
  • (Groucho Marx) "Louder."
  • (Groucho Marx) "Louder."
  • (Chico Marx) "What are you doing?"
  • (Groucho Marx) "I'm going to get my ears checked. I'm deaf."
  • (Chico Marx) "You're not deaf. It's just him."
  • (Groucho Marx) "Emily, I have a confession to make. I really am a horse doctor. But marry me, and I'll never look at another horse."
  • (Groucho Marx) "Here's a ten-dollar bill and shoot the change, will you?"
  • (Chico Marx) "I got-a no change. I'll have to give you nine more books."
  • (Groucho Marx) "You've got it all wrong. This is my aunt. She's come to talk over some old family matters."
  • (Chico Marx) "I wish I had an aunt look like that."
  • (Groucho Marx) "Well, take it up with your uncle."

Leonard Ceeley as Whitmore

  • (Leonard Ceeley) "The doctor seems reluctant to discuss his medical experiences."
  • (Groucho Marx) "Well, medically, my experiences have been most unexciting. Except during the flu epidemic."
  • (Leonard Ceeley) "Ah, and what happened?"
  • (Groucho Marx) "I got the flu."
  • (Leonard Ceeley) "Just a minute, Mrs Upjohn. That looks like a horse pill to me."
  • (Groucho Marx) "Oh, you've taken them before."
  • (Margaret Dumont) "Are you sure, Doctor, you haven't made a mistake?"
  • (Groucho Marx) "You have nothing to worry about. The last patient I gave one of those to won the Kentucky Derby."
  • (Leonard Ceeley) "May I examine this, please? Do you actually give those to your patients? Isn't it awfully large for a pill?"
  • (Groucho Marx) "Well, it was too small for a basketball, and I didn't know what to do with it. Say, you're awfully large for a pill yourself."

Esther Muir as Flo

  • (Esther Muir) "Oh doctor. Thank you."
  • (Groucho Marx) "Thank "yu". Do you like gardenias?"
  • (Esther Muir) "I adore them. How did you know?"
  • (Groucho Marx) "I didn't, so I got you forget-me-nots. One whiff of this and you'll forget everything."
  • (Esther Muir) "Thank you."
  • (Groucho Marx) "Thank "yu"."
  • (Esther Muir) "Do you mind?"
  • (Groucho Marx) "Not at all. I always take the wrap."

Maureen O'Sullivan as Judy

  • (Maureen O'Sullivan) "And do be nice to Mrs. Upjohn, won't you?"
  • (Groucho Marx) "Well, she's not exactly my type, but for you I'd make love to a crocodile."
  • (Maureen O'Sullivan) "If you'll excuse me, I'll go and bring in the rest of the staff."
  • (Groucho Marx) "Why don't you go out and bring in something. Preferably your resignation."

Allan Jones as Gil

  • (Allan Jones) "Are you a man or a mouse?"
  • (Groucho Marx) "You put a piece of cheese down there and you'll find out."

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