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A Shot in the Dark (1964 film) Quotes

A Shot in the Dark (1964 film) is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . A Shot in the Dark ended its run in 1970.

It features Blake Edwards as producer, Henry Mancini in charge of musical score, and Christopher Challis as head of cinematography.

A Shot in the Dark (1964 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom, and United States. Each episode of A Shot in the Dark (1964 film) is 102 minutes long. A Shot in the Dark (1964 film) is distributed by United Artists.

The cast includes: Herbert Lom as Dreyfus, Elke Sommer as Maria Gambrelli, Peter Sellers as Clouseau, Jack Melford as The Psycho-Analyst, George Sanders as Benjamin Ballon, Graham Stark as Hercule LaJoy, Martin Benson as Maurice, and Tracy Reed as Dominique Ballon.

A Shot in the Dark (1964 film) Quotes

Herbert Lom as Dreyfus

  • (Herbert Lom) "A doorman, two customers, and a Cossack. And now six more innocent people."
  • (Peter Sellers) "But they were all murderers, except for Maurice, who was a blackmailer, Commissioner."
  • (Herbert Lom) "Compared with you they were saints."
  • (Herbert Lom) "A trail of death follows Inspector Clouseau. Four people. A doorman, two customers, and a Cossack."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Most regrettable."
  • (Herbert Lom) "This case is already so full of cracks I guess one more wouldn't make any difference."
  • (Herbert Lom) "François?"
  • (Françios) "Yes, commissioner?"
  • (Herbert Lom) "I just cut off my thumb."
  • (Françios) "I made a terrible mistake."
  • (Herbert Lom) "Who did you assign to the case?"
  • (Françios) "Clouseau."
  • (Herbert Lom) "Oh, my God."
  • (Herbert Lom) "He released her again, and he's taking her out to dinner to dinner. Every paper in Paris has the story, including the Christian Science Monitor, and he gave them the story. You see, he claims she's protecting her lover, and the best way to force him into the open is to make him jealous. Jealous. That nincompoop. That megalomaniac. He's setting the science of criminal investigation back a thousand years, and I can't do anything about it."
  • (Jack Melford) "Why not?"
  • (Herbert Lom) "Why not? What if he's right?"
  • (Herbert Lom) "Commissioner Dreyfus -- Ah, yes, my darling -- I was just about to call you. I'm on my way. I've got the cheese and the beaujolais -- What?"
  • (Herbert Lom) "-- My love. Kiss the children for me, hmm?"
  • (Herbert Lom) "Hold on."
  • (Herbert Lom) "Yes?"
  • (Unnamed) "Your wife is on the other line."
  • (Herbert Lom) "Tell her I'm out of town."
  • (Herbert Lom) "If someone has been murdered here, please let it be Clouseau."

Peter Sellers as Clouseau

  • (Peter Sellers) "Uh -- What was I saying? Uh -- Listen, you, you daydreaming fool, what are you doing there? I mean, can't you pay attention when I'm talking? Don't know know what I was saying? You're not listening to me."
  • (Martin Benson) "With the greatest respect, monsieur, I heard every word that you said."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Would you be kind enough to tell me what it was that I said?"
  • (Martin Benson) "You were talking about the closet, monsieur --"
  • (Peter Sellers) "Uhhh, yes?"
  • (Martin Benson) "You were saying that when the closet door was open, Maria received a bump on the head, and from that that you inferred that someone had been hiding in the closet, monsieur --"
  • (Peter Sellers) "Yes, she received a bump on; And, listen, monsieur, next time I may test you without warning."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Now, then, there's something that I am very interested to know, this room is; - What happened? What?"
  • (Tracy Reed) "You fell off the sofa, you stupid --"
  • (Peter Sellers) "I know I fell off the sofa, Madame. There's no need to tell me. Everything I do is carefully planned, Madame. I know that. Now then, eh? What was I saying?"
  • (Peter Sellers) "Careful, Monsieur, with me. Do not tangle with me. I'm a trained expert in karate. My hands are lethal weapons."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Now, supposing you tell me what happened?"
  • (Elke Sommer) "He was having difficulty with the buttons."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Buttons?"
  • (Elke Sommer) "The buttons on my dress."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Well, you know that is very strange. Because, there are no buttons on this dress."
  • (Elke Sommer) "Well, that is because he was having difficulty with them. So, he just tore the dress off."
  • (Peter Sellers) "He attacked you."
  • (Elke Sommer) "Oh, no. I would have helped him; but, he couldn't wait. The buttons are probably all over the room. He was so impetuous. A passionate Spaniard, you know."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Prison is bad enough, without, uncomfortable furniture."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Facts, Hercule, facts, behind them lays the whole fabric of deductive truth. Now, Hercule let us examine these facts: One --"
  • (Peter Sellers) "She was found with the murder weapon in her hand, Two --"
  • (Peter Sellers) "The murder weapon was fresh with blood, Three --"
  • (Peter Sellers) "There were no fingerprints on the murder weapon other then hers and Four --"
  • (Peter Sellers) "All the members of the Ballon household staff have perfect alibis. Now then, Hercule what do these facts add up to?"
  • (Graham Stark) "Maria Gambrelli killed Georges the gardener."
  • (Peter Sellers) "You are an idiot, only a fresh faced novice would come up with a conclusion like that."
  • (Graham Stark) "But the facts --"
  • (Peter Sellers) "Listen, who even killed Miguel, killed Georges the gardener and he did it to cover up the first crime. Now, what he is trying to do is lay the blame at the foot of this, this poor servant girl."
  • (Graham Stark) "Well, who do you suspect?"
  • (Peter Sellers) "I suspect everyone."
  • (Graham Stark) "Well -- I suppose that is possible."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Possible? What do you mean possible? I deal in certainties."
  • (Peter Sellers) "What do you want?"
  • (Graham Stark) "You sent for me."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Of course I sent for you."
  • (Peter Sellers) "There is something -- personal -- in this?"
  • (Herbert Lom) "Yes, deeply personal. I hate you. Every little bit of you. Now get out."
  • (Peter Sellers) "You want me to leave?"
  • (Peter Sellers) "It seems a bit stuffy in here."
  • (Elke Sommer) "Your coat."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Yes, it is nice."
  • (Elke Sommer) "But, it's on fire."
  • (Peter Sellers) "What? My coat is on fire. My coat is on fire."
  • (Peter Sellers) "I believe everything and I believe nothing. I suspect everyone and I suspect no one."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Well -- that just goes to prove what I have said all along."
  • (Herbert Lom) "What you've said, Clouseau, qualifies you as the greatest prophet since Custer said he was going to surround all those Indians."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Those were innocent bystanders. The murderer was after me. Fortunately, he missed."
  • (Herbert Lom) "Fortunately is not the word."
  • (Peter Sellers) "That stupid driver of mine parked too close to the fountain."
  • (Peter Sellers) "And -- they were your fingerprints."
  • (George Sanders) "Well, why not? It's my house. I've often been in that closet."
  • (Peter Sellers) "For what reason?"
  • (George Sanders) "Last time was moths."
  • (Peter Sellers) ""Meuths"?"
  • (George Sanders) "Moths."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Yes, "meuths.""
  • (George Sanders) "Maria was complaining of "murths.""
  • (Peter Sellers) ""Meurths"? Is that right, Maria, that; that you were complaining about these "meuths"?"
  • (Elke Sommer) "Yes, I did complain about moths."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Oh, you mean "meuths"."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Facts, Hercule, facts. Nothing matters but the facts. Without them the science of criminal investigation is nothing more than a guessing game."
  • (Peter Sellers) "You idiot. You fool. It's a good job I was able to check my reflexes, as I might have killed you with a karate chop."
  • (Peter Sellers) "You fool. Just for that, you're; you're off the case."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Look at that. I have Africa all over my hand."
  • (Peter Sellers) "And I submit, Inspector Ballon, that you arrived home, found Miguel with Maria Gambrelli, and killed him in a rit of fealous jage."

Elke Sommer as Maria Gambrelli

  • (Elke Sommer) "What are we going to do?"
  • (Peter Sellers) "We must do something. We can't leave here without our clothes."
  • (Elke Sommer) "But, I'm getting cold. Just look at those goose pimples."
  • (Elke Sommer) "Promise me."
  • (Peter Sellers) "What darling?"
  • (Elke Sommer) "Afterwards, you will not smoke."
  • (Peter Sellers) "I give you my word as an officer and a gentleman. also a policeman."
  • (Elke Sommer) "I know this is your apartment; but, that won't help you in the least bit?"
  • (Peter Sellers) "Why won't it help me in the least bit? My question."
  • (Elke Sommer) "Question, answered, Mr. Policeman Inspector."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Jacques Clouseau's the name."
  • (Elke Sommer) "I've given up sex."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Oh, che brutto momento."
  • (Elke Sommer) "I've given up sex."
  • (Elke Sommer) "Clouseau. Over here. Quick. Listen. That's Do Do."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Do Do?"
  • (Elke Sommer) "She's dead."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Dead? Do Do?"
  • (Elke Sommer) "You can have one of my cigarettes."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Oh, thank you."
  • (Elke Sommer) "You have it in backwards."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Oh -- it tastes very bad that way."
  • (Elke Sommer) "You should get out of these clothes immediately. You'll catch your death of pneumonia, you will."
  • (Peter Sellers) "Yes, I suppose I probably will. But it's all part of life's rich pageant, you know."

George Sanders as Benjamin Ballon

  • (George Sanders) "I admit to the affair. But, to kill for her? Would you kill for her?"
  • (Peter Sellers) "Of course. Eh, not."
  • (George Sanders) "I'm not in the habit of killing people, merely because I dislike them."

Tracy Reed as Dominique Ballon

  • (Tracy Reed) "Well, shall we settle this thing now or do you intend making me late for the recital?"
  • (George Sanders) "We can't just fire her. She's given us no cause."
  • (Tracy Reed) "Cause? We are up to our necks in dead bodies. What are you waiting for, the last act of Hamlet?"
  • (George Sanders) "If you are going to compare the Ballon household with a Shakespearean tragedy, I suggest that Macbeth would be more appropriate."

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