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Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein Quotes

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein completed its run in 1970.

It features Robert Arthur (film producer) as producer, Frank Skinner (composer) in charge of musical score, and Charles Van Enger as head of cinematography.

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein is 83 minutes long. Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Lou Costello as Wilbur Grey, Frank Ferguson as McDougal, Bud Abbott as Chick Young, Lon Chaney Jr. as Larry Talbot, Béla Lugosi as Dracula, Jane Randolph as Joan Raymond, Lenore Aubert as Dr. Sandra Mornay, and Lou Costello as Wilbur.

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein Quotes

Lou Costello as Wilbur

  • (Lou Costello) "Dracula is Dracula. And Sandra's gonna use my brain to make a bigger dummy out of the other dummy."
  • (Lou Costello) "Oh, boy. I'm floatin' on a cloud of love."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Listen, you little blimp. I'll let the air out of you in a minute if you don't give me a hand."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Ya understand that?"
  • (Lou Costello) "Thank You."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Boy, is this kid lost."
  • (Lou Costello) "Back. Back."
  • (The Monster) "Yes, master."
  • (Lou Costello) "He thinks I'm Dracula."
  • (Lou Costello) "I've got a date. In fact I've got two dates."
  • (Lon Chaney Jr.) "But you and I 'have a date with destiny'."
  • (Lou Costello) "Let Chick go with Destiny."
  • (Lou Costello) "You know that person you said there's no such person? I think he's in there -- in person. I was reading this sign over here, Dracula's Legend. All of a sudden I heard --"
  • (Bud Abbott) "That's the wind."
  • (Lou Costello) "It should get oiled."
  • (Lou Costello) "Mr. Talbot, and I thought you were such a nice man too. Look at you, you're a mess."
  • (Lon Chaney Jr.) "Last night I went through another one of my horrible experiences. Many years ago I was bitten by a werewolf. Now, whenever the full moon rises I turn into a wolf myself."
  • (Lou Costello) "Oh pal. That's all right; I'm sort of a wolf myself."
  • (Lou Costello) "I've had this brain for thirty years. It hasn't done me any good."
  • (Lou Costello) "And another thing Mr. Chick Young. The next time I tell you that I saw something when I saw it, you believe me that I saw it."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Oh relax. Now that we've seen the last of Dracula, the Wolf Man, and the Monster, there's nobody to frighten us anymore."
  • (Invisible Man) "Oh, that's too bad. I was hoping to get in on the excitement."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Who said that?"
  • (Invisible Man) "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm the Invisible Man."
  • (Lou Costello) "Mr. McDougal, will you stop gargling your throat?"
  • (Lou Costello) "Hey, you're gonna have to get your dog away from the phone, I can't hear a word you're saying."
  • (Lou Costello) "You're awful silly to call me all the way from London just to have your dog talk to me."
  • (Lou Costello) "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."
  • (Lou Costello) "Who screamed?"
  • (Bud Abbott) "You did."
  • (Bud Abbott) "I did?"
  • (Lou Costello) "Hey, will you please stop yelling. Come here."
  • (Lou Costello) "Don't you know it's impolite to raise your voice?"
  • (Lou Costello) "Oh Chick."
  • (Lou Costello) "You can have Sandra but make sure you get plenty of bandages."
  • (Lou Costello) "Miss Raymond, will you excuse me."
  • (Lou Costello) "Oh you irresistible boy."
  • (Lou Costello) "You want me."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Yes I want you. Come over here. I just wanted to get a good look at you in the light."
  • (Bud Abbott) "I still don't get it."
  • (Lou Costello) "Jealous?"
  • (Lou Costello) "Well that's gonna cost you overtime because I'm a union man and I work only sixteen hours a day."
  • (Frank Ferguson) "A union man only works eight hours a day."
  • (Lou Costello) "I belong to two unions."

Lenore Aubert as Dr. Sandra Mornay

  • (Dr. Lejos/Dracula) "Nervous, my dear?"
  • (Lenore Aubert) "This is risky business."
  • (Lenore Aubert) "That girl, who is he?"
  • (Lou Costello) "Um, hmm -- hmm -- uh -- sh -- she's chick's date. She's going to the masquerade with us."
  • (Lenore Aubert) "But I told you to come alone. I'll have to get rid of her."
  • (Lou Costello) "I'll have to get rid of somebody."
  • (Lenore Aubert) "Look into my eyes."
  • (Lenore Aubert) "Don't you know what's going to happen now?"
  • (Lou Costello) "I'll bite."
  • (Lenore Aubert) "No, I will."

Bud Abbott as Chick Young

  • (Bud Abbott) "What's the matter?"
  • (Lon Chaney Jr.) "I know you'll think I'm crazy, but -- in a half-an-hour the moon will rise and I'll turn into a wolf."
  • (Lou Costello) "You and 20 million other guys."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Professor, do you understand women?"
  • (Prof. Stevens) "I don't even try. I'm gonna get me a drink."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Now listen, Talbot. Enough is enough. Now Wilbur's scared to death. Hello? Hello? He's gone."
  • (Lou Costello) "So am I."
  • (Bud Abbott) "No you don't come here. I'm gonna settle this thing once and for all. We'll search this place."
  • (Lou Costello) "Look Chick, it's a little past sunset and if Dracula is here he's gonna be wanting breakfast, and I'm fatter than you, and it ain't gonna be me."
  • (Bud Abbott) "People pay McDougal cash to come in here and get scared."
  • (Lou Costello) "I'm cheatin' him. I'm gettin' scared for nothin'."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Get up on your feet. It's only a dummy"
  • (Lou Costello) "Dummy nothin'. It was smart enough to scare me."
  • (Bud Abbott) "I know there's no such person as Dracula. You know there's no such person as Dracula."
  • (Lou Costello) "But does Dracula know it?"
  • (Bud Abbott) "I'm going out to get the other crate. And no back talk."
  • (Lou Costello) "I've got just two words to say to you."
  • (Bud Abbott) "What is that?"
  • (Lou Costello) "Hurry back."
  • (Bud Abbott) "I don't get it. Out of all the guys around here that classy dish has to pick out a guy like you."
  • (Lou Costello) "What's wrong with that?"
  • (Bud Abbott) "Go look at yourself in the mirror sometime."
  • (Lou Costello) "Why should I hurt my own feelings?"
  • (Bud Abbott) "Why don't you get down to the police station and tell them you know the story of Dracula and Monster they'd be very interested."
  • (Lon Chaney Jr.) "I can't do that because then I'd have to tell them who I am and how I know what I know."
  • (Bud Abbott) "You know the old saying? Everything comes in threes. Now suppose a third girl should fall in love with you?"
  • (Lou Costello) "What's her name?"
  • (Bud Abbott) "We'll say her name is Mary."
  • (Lou Costello) "Is she pretty?"
  • (Bud Abbott) "Beautiful."
  • (Lou Costello) "Naturally, she'd have to be."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Now you have Mary, you have Joan, and you have Sandra. So, to prove to you that I'm your pal, your bosom friend, I'll take one of the girls off your hands."
  • (Lou Costello) "Chick, you're what I call a real pal -- you take Mary."
  • (Bud Abbott) "You're making enough noise to wake up the dead."
  • (Lou Costello) "I don't have to wake him up. He's up."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Answer that phone."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Answer the bell."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Answer the phone."
  • (Lou Costello) "Which one do you want me to answer first?"
  • (Bud Abbott) "Both of them."
  • (Lou Costello) "Both of them. Both of them."
  • (Bud Abbott) "I saw what I saw when I saw it."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Please give me a little ether."
  • (Lenore Aubert) "We don't need it. You won't feel a thing."
  • (Bud Abbott) "You still want your exhibits?"
  • (Frank Ferguson) "Of course I do."
  • (Lou Costello) "Here comes one of 'em now."
  • (Bud Abbott) "Well after what I saw, there'd better not be any 'maybe'."

Lon Chaney Jr. as Larry Talbot

  • (Lon Chaney Jr.) "Lock me in, and no matter what you hear or what you might think, don't let me out."
  • (Lon Chaney Jr.) "So. We meet again, Count Dracula."
  • (Béla Lugosi) "Dracula?"
  • (Lou Costello) "Yes. That's who he says you are."
  • (Béla Lugosi) "Oh. My costume perhaps?"
  • (Bud Abbott) "No. Talbot here thinks you're the real thing."
  • (Lou Costello) "Uh-huh. Right out of McDougal's House of Horrors."
  • (Béla Lugosi) "What an odd hallucination. But, the human mind is often inflamed with strange complexes. I suggest you consult your physician, Mr. Talbot."
  • (Bud Abbott) "And take him along with you, please."
  • (Lon Chaney Jr.) "I know you'll think I'm crazy, but in a half an hour the moon will rise and I'll turn into a wolf."
  • (Lou Costello) "You and twenty million other guys."
  • (Lon Chaney Jr.) "Listen. I might tear you limb from limb."
  • (Lou Costello) "Is that serious?"
  • (Bud Abbott) "He'll murder ya."
  • (Lou Costello) "That's serious."
  • (Dr. Lejos/Dracula) "Miss Raymond, would you honor me with a dance?"
  • (Lon Chaney Jr.) "No, I warn you, he is Count Dracula."
  • (Jane Randolph) "How interesting. Tell me more."
  • (Dr. Lejos/Dracula) "Let "me" tell you, while we dance. Pardon me, Mr. Talbot."
  • (Lon Chaney Jr.) "I just got a line on Dracula and the Monster. A certain Dr. Lajos has been receiving a lot of electrical equipment; just the type necessary to revive the Monster."
  • (Lou Costello) "So what? I'm way out on an island. I got my own problems."
  • (Lon Chaney Jr.) "Yes, but listen -- I believe you're in the house of Dracula right now."
  • (Lon Chaney Jr.) "Soon the moon will rise. I've taken the room across the hall; here's the key, lock me in."
  • (Lou Costello) "Lock you in?"
  • (Lon Chaney Jr.) "Yes, please. Hurry."
  • (Lou Costello) "He's scared too."

Jane Randolph as Joan Raymond

  • (Jane Randolph) "What are you doing tonight?"
  • (Bud Abbott) "He's going to a masquerade ball but I'm not doing anything."
  • (Jane Randolph) "In that case you'll be awfully lonesome."
  • (Jane Randolph) "Oh Wilbur, can't we both come along too?"
  • (Lou Costello) "Yes, mon amour."
  • (Lou Costello) "That's Spanish."
  • (Bud Abbott) "That's French."
  • (Lou Costello) "How do you like that, I speak French too."

Béla Lugosi as Dracula

  • (Béla Lugosi) "What we need is young blood -- and brains --"
  • (Béla Lugosi) "And about the brain? I don't want to repeat Frankenstein's mistake and revive a vicious, unmanageable brute. This time the Monster must have no will of his own, no fiendish intellect to oppose his Master."

Frank Ferguson as McDougal

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