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Airheads Quotes

Airheads is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Airheads ended its run in 1970.

It features Mark Burg as producer, Carter Burwell in charge of musical score, and John Schwartzman as head of cinematography.

Airheads is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Airheads is 92 minutes long. Airheads is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The cast includes: Brendan Fraser as Chazz, Harold Ramis as Chris Moore, Steve Buscemi as Rex, Adam Sandler as Pip, Reg E. Cathey as Marcus, Joe Mantegna as Ian, Nina Siemaszko as Suzzi, Michael McKean as Milo, Marshall Bell as Carl Mace, Judd Nelson as Jimmie Wing, David Arquette as Carter, Amy Locane as Kayla, Chris Farley as Officer Wilson, Rich Wilkes as Corduroy Rocker, John Melendez as Masturbating Rocker, and Michael Richards as Doug Beech.

Airheads Quotes

Marshall Bell as Carl Mace

  • (Marshall Bell) "I used to come home at night bone tired, sometimes five, six o'clock in the morning. I drop my underwear on the floor one time. Had this teensy weeny little skid mark on them. You would think I had started World War 9."
  • (Marshall Bell) "You got any kind of training?"
  • (Michael Richards) "Well, I was in the Merchant Marines."
  • (Marshall Bell) "Marines. Yeah, I copy."
  • (Michael Richards) "But, I was an accountant."
  • (Marshall Bell) "Nah, you won't be held accountable."

Adam Sandler as Pip

  • (Adam Sandler) "PUT IT OUT."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Man, Chazz is right. All we gotta do is make our own action, y'know?"
  • (Steve Buscemi) "That's the way it is, little bro. Do you think Tommy Lee sat around and waited for the bus? Man, he hustled. That's how come he gets to live in the Hills and pork Heather Locklear."
  • (Adam Sandler) "This is never gonna work."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Pip, damn it, what is your problem?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "You remember that guy Doper Greg? Remember that guy, man? He used to blow bong hits in his iguana's face and try to make the thing watch cartoons with him all the time."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "So what? Will you shut up?"
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Just get to the point? What?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Well, he won this radio giveaway, and when he went down to the station, they wouldn't let him in the building. It was, like, this total security building. They slid his tickets through this litle slot with, like, salad tong things."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Oh, so just because that anus couldn't get in, does that mean that we can't?"
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Anybody gives us any static, I shove this in their face."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Ahhh."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Yeah, but remember that fat kid on "Hard Copy" with a toy gun. The cops zapped him with a taser until he went bald."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "And then he sued them for a million bucks when his pubes didn't grow in."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Still got no hair on his balls, man."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Oh, man. We almost got in. That's too bad. Let's get goin'."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Hey, Pip, you backstabber, what, are you quittin' out on us?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "What? The door's locked."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Aw, man, you're such a flake. You don't even care about this band, do you? You run around in your apartment all day in your fudgies."
  • (Adam Sandler) "That's not true."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "It is, too. I always got to tell you to put pants on when somebody comes over."
  • (Adam Sandler) "He's making this up."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Will you both shut up? Please, OK? You're brothers, all right. C'mon, man, we ain't locked out yet. Stay here, Pip."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Ahh, you got a big mouth, man."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Hey, Pip --"

Brendan Fraser as Chazz

  • (Brendan Fraser) "Who'd win in a wrestling match, Lemmy or God?"
  • (Harold Ramis) "Lemmy."
  • (Harold Ramis) "-- God?"
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Wrong, dickhead, trick question. Lemmy IS God."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Yvonne, get your s*** and go. You'll be home in time for The Simpsons."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Hey, you stay out of this and get your hands off her."
  • (Amy Locane) "Why did he call you that?"
  • (Marshall Bell) "There's a lot that Chester didn't tell you about, right, Chester?"
  • (Steve Buscemi) "What's he talking about Chazz?"
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Um -- Kayla, I --"
  • (Brendan Fraser) "It's -- uh, he's -- awww s***. Kayla, there's something I gotta tell ya. Um -- I was a geek in high school. I had really short hair, I played "Dungeons and Dragons", I had a bug collection, I ate my Boogers. My name's not Chazz -- it's Chester, and I understand if You don't love me, anymore."
  • (D & D Rocker) "I played D & D, too."
  • (School Newspaper Rocker) "I was editor of the school magazine."
  • (Rich Wilkes) "I used to wear corduroy pants."
  • (John Melendez) "I used to masturbate -- constantly."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "You are acting like a f***ing Spazz."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "We got to send one person out."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I'll go."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "One of the hostages, doof."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Oh, whoa. What happened to this?"
  • (Amy Locane) "It fell off the nightstand."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "What did you do to my tape? Can we even play this?"
  • (Steve Buscemi) "I don't know, maybe if I clean it up and re-spool it. Christ."
  • (Amy Locane) "I came all the way down here just to bring that stupid tape."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Yeah, and you took real good care of it, didn't you, Yoko?"
  • (Brendan Fraser) "For all you care, our record could be Pip farting on a snare drum."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I ain't fartin' on no snare drum."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Do you know what it's like to be on the bill and to play for 15 minutes and the only people there to see you are the other bands and their girlfriends? Don't talk to me about Rock 'n' Roll. I'm out there in the clubs and on the streets and I'm living it."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "I am Rock 'n' Roll."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "I'm average and screwed up enough that I might just write a song that will live forever. And then it's all going to be worth it."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Hey, what the did you do with it?"
  • (Joe Mantegna) "What did I do with it? Hey, I didn't do anything. Tonto must have loaded the tape in wrong."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Hey, your machine dilapidated it, man."

Steve Buscemi as Rex

  • (Steve Buscemi) "We've got all kinds of beer and s*** in here."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "67 copies of "Moby Dick"."
  • (Nina Siemaszko) "The movie or the book?"
  • (Steve Buscemi) "They made a book outta that?"
  • (Steve Buscemi) "We're gonna take the cops up on those demands they wanted."
  • (Adam Sandler) "We got a killer list goin'."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Yeah, check it out. We ask for airplay and whatever else we want, then we demand a whole bunch of weird stuff. This way we can plead insanity later."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Where'd this come from?"
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Pip's idea."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Way to go, Pip."

Reg E. Cathey as Marcus

  • (Reg E. Cathey) "22:23 White man with a gun. Same s*** been happenin' to my people for 425-odd years."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Hey, man, you like working here? We're down, man, Hendrix was god."
  • (Reg E. Cathey) "You wanna take a step back, man? You're standing on my dick."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Yeah, I seen that Antrax and Public Enemy. That was outta control, together, man. Did you catch that one, G?"
  • (Reg E. Cathey) "Don't call me G."
  • (Adam Sandler) "What do you want me to call you? Hey, come on, man."
  • (Reg E. Cathey) "All right, that's it. l can't wait for you to put that gun down, cos when you do we're gonna throw down. That's right, we gonna get serious. Mano-a-swine."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Just shut your pie-hole and keep working."
  • (Reg E. Cathey) ""Pie-hole." What's that, some kind of cracker slang?"
  • (Reg E. Cathey) ""Rodney King"? What's that supposed to mean?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "He's that guy."
  • (Reg E. Cathey) "Milo, didn't I tell you to knock when you come to my office?"
  • (Michael McKean) "Just keep quiet and get that reel-to-reel deck down to the booth."
  • (Reg E. Cathey) "Oh, gonna tell me to shut up now? Uh-huh, uh-huh. See, a brother can't open his mouth without the white man slap him down."
  • (Michael McKean) "Just do it, Marcus."
  • (Reg E. Cathey) "Damn."
  • (Reg E. Cathey) "Oh my god."

Joe Mantegna as Ian

  • (Joe Mantegna) "Okay, who are you guys?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "My name's Pip."
  • (Joe Mantegna) "The band. The band name."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Sorry about that."
  • (Joe Mantegna) "He doesn't wear a helmet, does he?"
  • (Joe Mantegna) "Oh yeah. That was for all you pinheads out there too hip to take off your leather jackets in this 95 degree heat. Now I know when the weather gets like this it brings all you nut bags out of the wood pile. And since I am a trouble magnet, I have one thing to say to you bozos, and that is, back off. Here's the Sons of Thunder from the debut album Scrabbled Eggs and Wobbly Legs. You're listening to Ian Shock, on the station with more hair, more flair, yet so debonair, KPPX. Rebel radio-O-O-O."
  • (Joe Mantegna) "He wipes his ass with his record contract, I like this guy."
  • (Joe Mantegna) "You're on the air."
  • (Butt-head) "Whoa. Am I on the air?"
  • (Beavis) "Come on, Butt-head, give me the phone."
  • (Joe Mantegna) "What? Am I speaking English, what did I just say dips***?"
  • (Brendan Fraser) "So, what do you guys want?"
  • (Butt-head) "You guys are, like, The Lone Rangers, right?"
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Yes."
  • (Butt-head) "We saw you guys at The Wheel Well last month. You suck."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Hey, come down here and say that, you punks."
  • (Brendan Fraser) "Yeah, well, you can kiss my ass."
  • (Butt-head) "Why don't you make the chicks get naked?"
  • (Beavis) "Yeah, yeah. Naked."
  • (Joe Mantegna) "Well, there's three of you. You're not exactly lone. Shouldn't you be the Three Rangers?"
  • (Joe Mantegna) "The Lone Rangers? That's original. How can you pluralize "Lone Ranger"?"

Michael McKean as Milo

  • (Michael McKean) "You're gonna scream "Rock and Roll"? You're gonna go to jail for that?"
  • (Joe Mantegna) "There's a saying Milo: If it's too loud, you're too old."
  • (Michael McKean) "Ahhhhh. You're screwing on my $1400 leather couch."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "What's with the scream fest -- aw, Pip."

Judd Nelson as Jimmie Wing

  • (Judd Nelson) "Bea Arthur? -- Outstanding."

Chris Farley as Officer Wilson

  • (Chris Farley) "GOD HELP US ALL."
  • (Chris Farley) "Good, great, wonderful, fantastic --"

David Arquette as Carter

  • (David Arquette) "What was she on the Clydesdale Scale? That's how many Clydesdale's it would take to tear her off your face."

Amy Locane as Kayla

  • (Amy Locane) "Bastard."

Nina Siemaszko as Suzzi

  • (Nina Siemaszko) "All those blowjobs for nothing --"
  • (Nina Siemaszko) "Pip? What are you thinking about?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Swimming pools."
  • (Nina Siemaszko) "Swimming pools, huh?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Yeah. I wish I was in one right now. The water's all clear and cool, and you spin around in there like an egg."
  • (Nina Siemaszko) "Do you have a girlfriend?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Mmm-mmm."
  • (Nina Siemaszko) "No? It's kind of weird us meeting like this, huh?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "I don't know."

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