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American Desi Quotes

American Desi is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . American Desi completed its run in 1970.

It features Deep Katdare as producer.

American Desi is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of American Desi is 100 min long.

The cast includes: Eric Axen as Eric, Deep Katdare as Krishna, Ronobir Lahiri as Jagjit, Rizwan Manji as Salim, Kal Penn as Ajay, Aladdin Ullah as Gautam Rao, Anil Kumar as Rakesh, Purva Bedi as Nina, and Ami Shukla as Priya.

American Desi Quotes

Eric Axen as Eric

  • (Eric Axen) "I'm hungry. Did your mom give you some of her spicy balls?"
  • (Deep Katdare) "Don't ever say "spicy balls" and "your mom" in the same sentence."
  • (Eric Axen) "Hey Kris, you know that ceremony that your mom performed?"
  • (Deep Katdare) "Don't ask me anything about it. I just wait there 'til she finishes."
  • (Eric Axen) "She was blessing us right? We're not married or anything?"
  • (Deep Katdare) "What?"
  • (Eric Axen) "It's just that I saw this documentary on the Discovery Channel, and it said that the dot was a symbol of marriage."
  • (Deep Katdare) "Look man, whatever it means, If I were you, I'd wipe that s*** off your forehead before you start attracting Hari Krishnas or something."
  • (Eric Axen) "Mr. Reddy, so good to see you again."
  • (Uncle Reddy) "Good to see you too. Best of luck in college too."
  • (Eric Axen) "All right."

Kal Penn as Ajay

  • (Kal Penn) "What happened? This place looks worse than South Central."
  • (Kal Penn) "It's like Spike Lee says, you know, gotta be making black films, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY."
  • (Kal Penn) "Oh my brotha. You are oppressed."

Deep Katdare as Krishna

  • (Deep Katdare) "What?"
  • (Chandu and Hemant) "He said nice titties. Boing."
  • (Deep Katdare) "Oh man."
  • (Eric Axen) "Dude, is that the new one from Third Eye Blind?"
  • (Deep Katdare) "This is driving me crazy --. It's been 10 minutes, aren't we due for another song-and-dance sequence?"
  • (Deep Katdare) "Good I was starting to get worried -- What is this? The next day? They've all changed clothes --. I've seen porno films with better storylines than this, honestly."
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "Good job, yaar. Insulting Hindi films and admitting to watching Porno."
  • (Rizwan Manji) "Maybe next time you can mention your bout with gonorrhea."
  • (Deep Katdare) "This place smells worse than my house."
  • (Eric Axen) "You've only been there a couple of hours, how bad can it be?"
  • (Deep Katdare) "How bad can it be? Well let's see, Bachelor #1, who hasn't shut up since I got here, thinks we're some long-lost brothers from the old country. Bachelor #2 has managed to permanently stink up the place with his mother's cooking. And Bachelor #3, get this, thinks he's some reincarnation of M.C. Hammer."
  • (Deep Katdare) "Hey, don't you think there should be a song by now? I think it's been TEN MINUTES."
  • (Deep Katdare) "This is your dream, don't ever give up on that."
  • (Deep Katdare) "I am finally out of the house, man. And I am never going back."
  • (Deep Katdare) "I don't know what happened back there. Maybe I had a little too much to drink."
  • (Purva Bedi) "So that's supposed to make it all right? I'm sorry, I just can't accept that as an excuse. Maybe I'm just a little old fashioned and traditional or maybe I'm just a little too Indian for your taste."
  • (Deep Katdare) "Too Indian? Why does it always have to be about Indian culture? You know, Why? Why can't it just be about us?"
  • (Purva Bedi) "'Cause I am Indian. And if you can't stand anything Indian, there is no us."
  • (Deep Katdare) "Excuse me sir, can you tell me where I can find the"
  • (Deep Katdare) ""nan"?"
  • (Grocer) "The "nan"? -- Go to the back and to the left. Let me make a suggestion, try the Rogani "nan." It is the best quality."

Aladdin Ullah as Gautam Rao

  • (Aladdin Ullah) "Oh s***. Does anyone have a rubber? Miss, you must have a little rubber in your purse. I need a little rubber."
  • (Aladdin Ullah) "This is one of the things I miss most about India. The Freedom. No bogus rules. No regulations. Just do what you want freely."
  • (Kal Penn) "Oh man. I paid $60 for these bitches."
  • (Aladdin Ullah) "Jagjit Singh?"
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "Here."
  • (Aladdin Ullah) ""Onathan" Scott?"
  • (Jonathan) "It's Jonathan. "Juh""
  • (Aladdin Ullah) "What happened to the silent "J"?"
  • (Jonathan) "It's not silent."
  • (Aladdin Ullah) "I swear that there are more exceptions than rules in the English grammar."

Ronobir Lahiri as Jagjit

  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "I would like to pay for these by credit card"
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "and these by cash"
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "."
  • (Kal Penn) "What's up with the partition? Are those Pakistani brushes?"
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "Krishna Gopal Reddy, that is you? But what is this Kris? Oh I get it, Kris with a K. Top Yaar. Make it easy for the Goras."
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "You should see how they pronounce my name."
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "Hey Salim, did you ever see that episode of Gilligan's Island where the personalities got switched?"
  • (Rizwan Manji) "I know what you mean, somewhere in Jersey there is a black man driving around in a Honda Accord and praying to Lord Ganesh."
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "You go to the grocery store and pick up a couple of things. Ajay, you go back an prepare the kitchen. I'll go deliver the invitations."
  • (Deep Katdare) "How about you get that stuff, and I'll ask out Nina. Huh?"
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "That's your problem, yaar. You think too much like an American. If you want to get an Indian girl, you have to think like an Indian. You need to use Indian technique. You need a go-between. Now go."
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "Oh wow, a desi T.A., it's going to be tough as s***."
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "Here we go with the corrupt Indian girl routine."
  • (Rizwan Manji) "That's right, all Indian girls in America become corrupt. You saw Farah at the party, the way she was dressed. Just imagine if her daddy saw her. The poor guy would have a heart attack."
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "Why don't you give her a chance Salim, maybe there is more to her than that?"
  • (Rizwan Manji) "No way. She's been hunting me down like anything. Everywhere I go there she is, in the class, at the hall, at that stupid party. I'm already feeling like I'm married. Pretty soon she's gonna be asking to"
  • (Rizwan Manji) "carry her makeup."
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "Shabbash, yaar. Just like in the movies. The hero beats the villain and saves the beautiful heroine. Tip-top. Just like a Hindi film."
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "Look at this place. Can you believe there's this many freshmen?"
  • (Rizwan Manji) "It's going to be a very tough year, yaar. We're going to have to study much harder to beat the curve."
  • (Kal Penn) "You're at a god**** party bitch. Fa'get about ya curve. Let's go get some desi booty."
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "What man? What'll be all right? That I have to spend the rest of my life designing buildings in a job that I hate? You call that ALL RIGHT? I don't know why I bothered man. I knew he was gonna find out eventually and he never understands. I don't wanna see this stuff, anymore."
  • (Professor Rosenstein) "It appears that Mr. Rao has not arrived yet."
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "He's probably running on Indian Standard Time. Just watch him stroll in at the end of class."
  • (Professor Rosenstein) "3 -- 2 -- 1"
  • (Professor Rosenstein) "Well Mr. Rao, nice of you to join us. Next time perhaps, you can actually attend the class."
  • (Aladdin Ullah) "Class is over?"
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "Salim, you know I respect your religion and all but one of these days, someone is gonna get hurt."
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "You wouldn't even consider marrying an Indian girl from here?"
  • (Rizwan Manji) "Who needs all that hassle when you come back from work?"
  • (Rizwan Manji) ""Salim, let's go out to dinner. I'm too tired to cook. I work, too.""
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "Not all Indian girls are like that."
  • (Rizwan Manji) "You've seen them with those Goras. I mean when will they learn how to cook a decent home meal?"

Rizwan Manji as Salim

  • (Rizwan Manji) "She's from here? Oh. Then maybe you should get him an Indian cookbook, unless he likes eating out. You should see one of my cousins, she lives here, she tried to make some rice and burnt the whole thing. I mean come on, yaar, how hard is it to boil rice? At least with a girl from India, you know she can cook."
  • (Rizwan Manji) "All right, who's hungry? My mummy made some fantastic Chicken Tikka Masala."
  • (Deep Katdare) "Oh god. Get that s*** out of my face."

Anil Kumar as Rakesh

  • (Anil Kumar) "What did I tell you about touching my jacket? Didn't I tell you not to touch it? Do you want to go back to Raymond's in Bombay and get it pressed?"

Purva Bedi as Nina

  • (Purva Bedi) "It's an email from Jagjit. Oh listen to this: "Loyal friend seeks suitable alliance for big-mouthed but well-intentioned roommate. Nineteen years, 5'11". Currently pursuing a degree in engineering. US Citizen -- Girl should be very open-minded and understanding""
  • (Ami Shukla) "Oh that is so cute. Oh my god, you have to go."
  • (Purva Bedi) "No way, it's gonna take more than a fungal ad to makeup for last night."
  • (Purva Bedi) ""Okay, how about a nice home-cooked dinner?""
  • (Purva Bedi) "Jagjit --"
  • (Ronobir Lahiri) "Come by the apartment at 8 o'clock tonight. You will be amazed. AND NO INDIAN STANDARD TIME."
  • (Purva Bedi) "I was just thinking of how mean I was to you. And I didn't try to see it from your side, I was being selfish and for that, I'm sorry."
  • (Deep Katdare) "No, Nina, I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm the one who was being selfish, insensitive, you were right. I was being an ass. I'm the one who should be saying I'm sorry."
  • (Purva Bedi) "Okay."
  • (Deep Katdare) "Okay, what?"
  • (Purva Bedi) "Okay, I accept your apology. All you had to do was ask."
  • (Deep Katdare) "Wait a minute, I don't get it."
  • (Purva Bedi) "It's not every day that a good-looking guy apologizes for his behavior. I mean a girl has got to take it when she can. I mean who knows when it'll happen again, right?"
  • (Deep Katdare) "Cute, very cute. That's a clever line, where'd you pick it up?"
  • (Purva Bedi) "This A.B.C.D. tried to use it on me once, it was so pathetic."
  • (Purva Bedi) "Yeah to dance, I figured it would be nice to learn something about your own culture."
  • (Deep Katdare) "My culture? What do you want me to learn? That I come from a country where the concept of toilet paper is still a myth? That kids let their parents decide who their going to marry? What?"

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