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Army of Darkness Quotes

Army of Darkness is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . Army of Darkness stopped airing in 1970.

It features Robert Tapert as producer, Joseph LoDuca in charge of musical score, and Bill Pope as head of cinematography.

Army of Darkness is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Army of Darkness is 81 minutes long. Army of Darkness is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Bruce Campbell as Ash, Richard Grove as Duke Henry, Embeth Davidtz as Sheila, Marcus Gilbert as Arthur, Patricia Tallman as Possessed woman, and Ian Abercrombie as Wiseman.

Army of Darkness Quotes

Embeth Davidtz as Sheila

  • (Embeth Davidtz) "Don't touch me. You foul thing."
  • (Evil Ash) "You're gonna learn to love me, missy."
  • (Embeth Davidtz) "The Promised one will come for you."
  • (Evil Ash) "Darlin' I'm gonna save him the trouble."
  • (Embeth Davidtz) "I may be bad, but I feel -- good."
  • (Embeth Davidtz) "But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby, that's all."
  • (Embeth Davidtz) "You found me beautiful once --"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Honey, you got reeeal ugly."
  • (Embeth Davidtz) "I may be bad -- but I feel gooood."

Bruce Campbell as Ash

  • (Bruce Campbell) "You know your shoe lace is untied."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Ha ha. Manufactured parts. Ha --"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "No. No. Oh God I slept too long."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Hahahahahahahahaha --"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Okay, little fella, here's a little"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "hot chocolate for ya. Ha ha ha ha ha ha."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "That's it, go ahead and run. Run home and cry to mama."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Oh you little bastards. All right, I'll crush each and every last one of ya. I'll squash you so hard you'll have to look down to look up."
  • (Mini Ash) "Hey dumbass."
  • (Evil Ash) "You're going down."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "I'm going up."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Klaatu Barada Nikto."
  • (Ian Abercrombie) "Well, repeat them."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Klaatu Barada Nikto."
  • (Ian Abercrombie) "Again."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "I got it, I got it. I know your damn words, alright?"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "We can take these Deadites, we can take 'em. With science."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Gimme some sugar, baby."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Groovy."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Oh, dear God, it's growing bigger."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "It's a trick. Get an axe."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Keep your damn filthy bones outta my mouth."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling doown."
  • (Mini Ashs) "My fair lady ha."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Oooh, that's gotta hurt."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Alright. Who wants some?"
  • (Evil Ash) "You'll never retrieve the Necronomicon. You'll die before ya get it."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Hey. What's that you got on your face?"
  • (Evil Ash) "Huh?"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "See how that works?"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Maybe. Just maybe my boys can protect the book. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Yo, she-bitch. Let's go."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and compositions and things with -- molecular structures."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Buckle up Bonehead. 'Cause you're goin' for a ride."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Sure, I could have stayed in the past. I could have even been king. But in my own way, I am king."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Hail to the king, baby."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "What? Were you raised in a barn? Shut the door. Probably was raised in a barn, along with the other primitives."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Yeah, great, great."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Get the f*** out of my face."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Klaatu Barada N -- necktie -- nectar -- nickel -- noodle. It's an "N" word, it's definitely an "N" word. Klaatu -- Barada -- N --"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Okay then -- that's it."
  • (Old Woman) "I'll swallow your soul."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Come get some."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Now whoa whoa whoa right there spinach chin."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Hail to the king, baby."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Yeah."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up. You see this? This -- is my BOOMSTICK. The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Whoa. Wrong book."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Three books? -- Wait a minute -- Hold it -- Nobody said anything about three books. Like, like what am I supposed to do, take -- take one book, or all books, or -- or what?"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Now I swear, the next one of you primates even touches me --"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "I know you're scared; we're all scared, but that doesn't mean were cowards. We can take these skeletons, we can take them, with science."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Lady, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store."
  • (Patricia Tallman) "Who the hell are you?"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Name's Ash."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Housewares."

Ian Abercrombie as Wiseman

  • (Ian Abercrombie) "When you removed the book from the cradle, did you speak the words?"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Yeah, basically."
  • (Ian Abercrombie) "Did you speak the exact words?"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Look, maybe I didn't say every single little tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah."

Marcus Gilbert as Arthur

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Richard Grove as Duke Henry

  • (Richard Grove) "You Sir, are not one of my vassals -- who are you?"
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Who wants to know?"
  • (Richard Grove) "I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples."
  • (Bruce Campbell) "Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and s*** -- and Jack left town."

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