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Arthur (1981 film) Quotes

Arthur (1981 film) is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Arthur ended in 1970.

It features Robert Greenhut as producer, Burt Bacharach in charge of musical score, and Fred Schuler as head of cinematography.

Arthur (1981 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Arthur (1981 film) is 97 minutes long. Arthur (1981 film) is distributed by Warner Bros..

The cast includes: Dudley Moore as Arthur, John Gielgud as Hobson, Jill Eikenberry as Susan, Liza Minnelli as Linda, Anne De Salvo as Gloria, Stephen Elliott as Burt Johnson, Paul Gleason as Executive, Barney Martin as Ralph, and Ted Ross as Bitterman.

Arthur (1981 film) Quotes

Dudley Moore as Arthur

  • (Dudley Moore) "Isn't this fun? Isn't fun the best thing to have? Don't you wish you were me? I know I do."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Girls, girls, girls. Hello girls."
  • (Dudley Moore) "It's terribly small, tiny little country. Rhode Island could beat the crap out of it in a war. THAT'S how small it is."
  • (Dudley Moore) "They recently had the whole country carpeted. This is not a big place."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Do you have any objection to naming a child Vladimir? Even a girl?"
  • (Dudley Moore) "Are you sure you want to be a nightclub comic?"
  • (Dudley Moore) "This must be awfully embarrassing for you."
  • (Dudley Moore) "I just told Linda I was getting engaged."
  • (John Gielgud) "I don't know why; a little tart like that could save you a fortune in prostitutes."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Bitterman. Do you want to double your salary?"
  • (Ted Ross) "Yes sir."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Then open that door."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Hobson?"
  • (John Gielgud) "Yes."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Do you know what I'm going to do?"
  • (John Gielgud) "No, I don't."
  • (Dudley Moore) "I'm going to take a bath."
  • (John Gielgud) "I'll alert the media."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Do you want to run my bath for me?"
  • (John Gielgud) "That's what I live for."
  • (John Gielgud) "Perhaps you would like me to come in there and wash your dick for you, you little s***."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Everyone who drinks is not a poet. Maybe some of us drink because we're not poets."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Oh, stay with me, Hobson. You know I hate to be alone."
  • (John Gielgud) "Yes, bathing is a lonely business."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Except for fish."
  • (John Gielgud) "I beg your pardon? Did you say "except for fish"?"
  • (Dudley Moore) "Yes -- fish all bathe together. Although they do tend to eat one another. I often think -- fish must get awfully tired of seafood. What are you thoughts, Hobson?"
  • (John Gielgud) "Pardon me --"
  • (Dudley Moore) "Where's the rest of this moose?"
  • (Stephen Elliott) "Arthur, I think it's time we got to know one another."
  • (Dudley Moore) "I do too. That's why I had to come over today. Hmhmhmhm. This is a tough room."
  • (Dudley Moore) "I don't have to tell you that."
  • (Dudley Moore) "You must've hated this moose."
  • (Stephen Elliott) "Why don't you forget the moose for a moment."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Right."
  • (Perry's Wife) "MY HUSBAND HAS A GUN."
  • (Dudley Moore) "I'm sure he does, madam. For all I know, he shot it while you screamed."
  • (Dudley Moore) "I've never taken care of anybody. Everybody's always taken care of me. But if you got sick, or anything, I'd take care of you."
  • (Liza Minnelli) "Then I'll get sick."
  • (Dudley Moore) "What are you doing later tonight?"
  • (Liza Minnelli) "Oh, I have plans for tonight. What should I wear?"
  • (John Gielgud) "Steal something casual."
  • (Dudley Moore) "ummmm -- ummmm -- Ladies and gentlemen -- I'm sorry -- As you probably have surmised by now -- there will be no wedding. The bride -- has had second thoughts -- and has decided not to marry me -- Most of you know me -- Can you blame her?"
  • (Dudley Moore) "You're a hooker? Jesus, I forgot. I just thought I was doing GREAT with you."
  • (Dudley Moore) "God, isn't life wonderful, Hobson?"
  • (John Gielgud) "Yes, Arthur, it is. Do your armpits."
  • (Dudley Moore) "A hot bath is wonderful -- Girls are WONDERFUL."
  • (John Gielgud) "Yes, imagine how wonderful a girl who bathes would be. Get dressed."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Hobson, did you see that?"
  • (John Gielgud) "Yes."
  • (Dudley Moore) "She stole that tie. It's the prefect crime; girls don't wear ties. Although some do; it's not a perfect crime, but it's a good crime."
  • (John Gielgud) "Yes; if she murdered the ties it would be the perfect crime. Why are you so happy about all this?"
  • (Dudley Moore) "Have you ever been on a yacht?"
  • (Liza Minnelli) "No, is it wonderful?"
  • (Dudley Moore) "It doesn't suck."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Do you want anything?"
  • (John Gielgud) "I want to be younger."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Sorry, it's your job to be older."
  • (Dudley Moore) "I hate it here."
  • (John Gielgud) "Of course you hate it. People work here."
  • (Dudley Moore) "All I can tell you is, I wish I had a dime for every dime I had."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Do you HATE Perry's wife?"
  • (Dudley Moore) "Hobson, do you know the worst part, the WORST part of being me?"
  • (John Gielgud) "I should imagine your breath."

John Gielgud as Hobson

  • (John Gielgud) "Poor drunks do not find love, Arthur. Poor drunks have very few teeth, they urinate outdoors, they freeze to death in summer. I can't bear to think of you that way."
  • (John Gielgud) "If I begin to die, please take this off my head. This is not the way I wish to be remembered."
  • (John Gielgud) "Thank you for a memorable afternoon, usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature."
  • (John Gielgud) "Arthur, you're a good son."
  • (John Gielgud) "Thrilling to meet you, Gloria."
  • (Anne De Salvo) "Hi."
  • (John Gielgud) "Yes -- You obviously have a wonderful economy with words, Gloria. I look forward to your next syllable with great eagerness."
  • (John Gielgud) "If you and your undershirt will walk two paces backwards, I could enter this dwelling."
  • (John Gielgud) "Yes, I see no reason for prolonging this conversation, unless you're planning to knock over a fruit stand later in the evening."
  • (John Gielgud) "Good luck in prison."
  • (John Gielgud) "Would you remove your helmet, please?"
  • (Dudley Moore) "Why?"
  • (John Gielgud) "Please."
  • (John Gielgud) "Thank you. Now your goggles."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Why?"
  • (John Gielgud) "Please."
  • (John Gielgud) "Thank you."
  • (John Gielgud) "You spoiled little bastard. You're a man who has everything, haven't you, but that's not enough. You feel unloved, Arthur, welcome to the world. Everyone is unloved. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself. And incidentally, I love you."
  • (John Gielgud) "How revolting."
  • (John Gielgud) "Here, read this magazine. There are many pictures."
  • (John Gielgud) "I've taken the liberty of anticipating your condition. I have brought you orange juice, coffee, and aspirins. Or do you need to throw up?"

Anne De Salvo as Gloria

  • (Anne De Salvo) "My mother died when I was six."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Son of a bitch. Don't they know what they do to kids?"
  • (Anne De Salvo) "My father raped me when I was twelve."
  • (Dudley Moore) "So, you had six relatively good years? I'm sorry. Listen, my father screwed me, too."
  • (Anne De Salvo) "What's so funny now?"
  • (Dudley Moore) "Sometimes I just think funny things."

Barney Martin as Ralph

  • (Barney Martin) "I take it this bum will be calling you?"
  • (Liza Minnelli) "Dad. He's a millionaire."
  • (Barney Martin) "You have my permission to marry him."
  • (Barney Martin) "Here's your tea."
  • (John Gielgud) "I despise tea. Now, would you go to the bathroom and bring me two aspirin? You'll find them on the top shelf to the left, behind the untouched shaving cream."
  • (Liza Minnelli) "That sounds bad. Have you seen a doctor?"
  • (John Gielgud) "Yes. And he has seen me."
  • (Liza Minnelli) "You know, I think Arthur has a very good friend. May I kiss you on the cheek?"
  • (John Gielgud) "Is it something you feel strongly about?"
  • (Liza Minnelli) "Yes."
  • (Liza Minnelli) "What about your aspirins?"
  • (John Gielgud) "The aspirins are for you, my dear."

Stephen Elliott as Burt Johnson

  • (Stephen Elliott) "When I was 11 years old, I KILLED a man."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Well, when you're 11 you probably don't even know there's a law against that. Is Susan here?"
  • (Stephen Elliott) "I knew what I was doing. We were poor. He came into our house to steal our food."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Well, he was asking for it."
  • (Stephen Elliott) "I took a knife, and I killed him in the kitchen."
  • (Dudley Moore) "You, uh -- probably ate out that night, what with that man lying in your kitchen."
  • (Stephen Elliott) "You seem to find humor in everything."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Yeah, sorry."
  • (Stephen Elliott) "Hello, Arthur."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Hello, Mr. Johnson."
  • (Stephen Elliott) "I haven't seen much of you lately."
  • (Dudley Moore) "Well, the reason you haven't seen much of me is because I, I normally pick Susan up at her apartment in town. And you live here. Want a drink?"
  • (Stephen Elliott) "I never drink. No one in my family ever drinks."
  • (Dudley Moore) "That's great. You probably never run out of ice your whole life."
  • (Stephen Elliott) "I don't drink because drinking affects your decision-making."
  • (Dudley Moore) "You may be right. I can't decide."

Liza Minnelli as Linda

  • (Liza Minnelli) "Nice place -- I love a living room you can land a plane in."
  • (Liza Minnelli) "Wouldn't it be funny if he called me?"

Jill Eikenberry as Susan

  • (Jill Eikenberry) "Arthur, will you take my hand?"
  • (Dudley Moore) "That would leave you with one."

Paul Gleason as Executive

  • (Paul Gleason) "He gets all that money. Pays his family back by -- by -- by bein' a stinkin' drunk. It's enough ta make ya sick."
  • (John Gielgud) "I really wouldn't know, sir. I'm just a servant."
  • (Paul Gleason) "Yeah."
  • (John Gielgud) "On the other hand, go screw yourself."

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