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Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me Quotes

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me completed its run in 1970.

It features Suzanne Todd, Jennifer Todd, Demi Moore, Eric McLeod, John Lyons, and Mike Myers as producer, George S. Clinton in charge of musical score, and Ueli Steiger as head of cinematography.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me is 95 minutes long. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me is distributed by New Line Cinema.

The cast includes: Oliver Muirhead as Colonel, Elizabeth Hurley as Wang, Will Ferrell as Musician, Seth Green as Scott, Mike Myers as Austin, Will Ferrell as Mustafa, Heather Graham as Felicity Shagwell, Kristen Johnston as Ivana, Robert Wagner as Number Two, Michael York as Basil, Jeff Garlin as Cyclops, Elizabeth Hurley as Fan, Tim Robbins as The President, Seth Green as Dr Evil, Elizabeth Hurley as Vanessa Kensington, and Mindy Sterling as Frau Farbissina.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me Quotes

Tim Robbins as The President

  • (Dr. Evil) "Mr. President, after I destroy Washington D.C. I will destroy another major city every hour on the hour. That is, unless, of course, you pay me"
  • (Dr. Evil) "one hundred billion dollars."
  • (Tim Robbins) "Dr. Evil, this is 1969. That amount of money doesn't even exist."
  • (Tim Robbins) "That's like saying,"
  • (Tim Robbins) ""I want a kajillion bajillion dollars.""
  • (Dr. Evil) "Talk to the hand, 'cause the face don't wanna hear it anymore."
  • (Tim Robbins) "What hand? Talk to your hand?"
  • (Dr. Evil) "You ain't all that and a bag of potato chips."
  • (Tim Robbins) "What are you talking about?"
  • (Dr. Evil) "Don't go there, girlfriend."
  • (Dr. Evil) "Mmhmm."
  • (Tim Robbins) "Whose girlfriend?"
  • (Dr. Evil) "Don't mess with me. I'm one crazy mo-fo. I had to pop a cop cause he wasn't giving me my props in Oaktown. No? I've heard that somewhere."

Mike Myers as Austin

  • (Mike Myers) "I've lost my mojo."
  • (Heather Graham) "Oh, so that's why you."
  • (Mike Myers) "Yes. Yes."
  • (Heather Graham) "I thought you didn't like me."
  • (Mike Myers) "Oh no, baby. You're very shagadelic. I just didn't want to fall in love again, and I thought you'd never love me without my mojo. It's not you. You're fab, you're switched on, you're a bit of alright. YES."
  • (Mike Myers) "I can't believe Vanessa, my bride, my one true love, the woman who taught me the beauty of monogamy, was a fembot all along. Wait a tick, that means I'm single again. Oh behave."
  • (Dr. Evil) "Austin, I'm your father."
  • (Mike Myers) "Really?"
  • (Dr. Evil) "No, not really. I can't back that up."
  • (Mike Myers) "Right. Idiot. Yes."
  • (Mike Myers) "Yes, Yes, Yes. NO NO."
  • (Mike Myers) "Me spuds are boiling."
  • (Mike Myers) "How does that feel, baby?"
  • (Heather Graham) "Mmm, lower."
  • (Mike Myers) "How does that feel, baby?"
  • (Mike Myers) "Who are you, baby?"
  • (Kristen Johnston) "Ivana. Ivana Humpalot."
  • (Mike Myers) "Excuse me?"
  • (Kristen Johnston) "Ivana Humpalot."
  • (Mike Myers) "Well, I "vana" toilet made out of solid gold, but it's just not in the cards now is it?"
  • (Robin Swallows) "My name is Robin Swallows."
  • (Mike Myers) "Swallows; that's an interesting name."
  • (Robin Swallows) "Maiden name's Spitz."
  • (Mike Myers) "Which is it, baby, Spitz or Swallows?"
  • (Mike Myers) "Cor. This coffee smells like s***."
  • (Michael York) "It is s***, Austin."
  • (Mike Myers) "Oh, good. Then it's not just me."
  • (Mike Myers) "It's a bit nutty."
  • (Mike Myers) "OK, you're an animal. Yes, there we go. You're a tiger. You're Tony the Tiger. You're grrreat. Very good. Loving it. Now you're a lemur. Running as a pack. We go left. We go right. There's a predator out of the jungle. What's going on? Burrow. That's right, you're a lemur. That's all you've got. You don't have sharp teeth capable of biting. Make an interconnected series of tunnels like the Viet Cong. And look. I'm not even shooting you. It's crazy. And I'm spent."
  • (Mike Myers) "And I'm spent."
  • (Mike Myers) "Hello, Mommy. Can I have some chocolates? I want some Mars Bars. Don't smack my bottom, Mommy."
  • (Heather Graham) "Austin?"
  • (Mike Myers) "Sorry, love. I got stuck in your dirty pillows."
  • (Mike Myers) "Well, how could you do it?"
  • (Heather Graham) "I was just doing my job."
  • (Mike Myers) "No, I mean, literally, HOW could you do it? The man's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling."
  • (Mike Myers) "What a burn."
  • (Mike Myers) "That sort of thing could get a man fired."
  • (Mike Myers) "I think he was hot for you."
  • (Heather Graham) "That's enough."
  • (Mike Myers) "Yeah."
  • (Mike Myers) "Those are skin tight. How do you get into those pants, baby?"
  • (Heather Graham) "You can start by buying me a drink."
  • (Mike Myers) "Oh God."
  • (Mike Myers) "No more. I can't take it anymore. Oh. You brought me my glasses. Bless your little heart."
  • (Mike Myers) "That's not right."
  • (Mike Myers) "Paging Dr. Freud."
  • (Robin Swallows) "Tell me, Mr. Powers. Do you swing?"
  • (Mike Myers) "Are you kidding, baby? I put the "grrrr" in swinger, baby. Yeah."
  • (Mike Myers) "Let me ask you a question. And be honest. Do I make you horny, baby? Do I? Do I make you randy?"
  • (Kristen Johnston) "No more games. Dr. Evil sent me here to kill you, but I find you so"
  • (Kristen Johnston) "sexy. Just make love to me. Now, Austin Powervich. Hurry."
  • (Kristen Johnston) "Oh, you are hairy like animal."
  • (Mike Myers) "Grr, baby. Very grr."
  • (Kristen Johnston) "Make love to me, monkey man."
  • (Mike Myers) "Oh thank God."
  • (Mike Myers) "Let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing."
  • (Rebecca Romijn) "Austin Powers, I've heard a lot about you. I'm Rebecca Romijn. I don't believe I've had the pleasure."
  • (Mike Myers) "Well, of course you haven't had the pleasure, Rebecca. We just met, baby, yeah."

Mindy Sterling as Frau Farbissina

  • (Mindy Sterling) "Scott, you are my love child with Dr.Evil."
  • (Seth Green) "I thought I was a test tube baby."
  • (Mindy Sterling) "Lies. All lies."
  • (Mindy Sterling) "I will never love another man."
  • (Dr. Evil) "That's true."
  • (Mindy Sterling) "Send in the clone."

Oliver Muirhead as Colonel

  • (Oliver Muirhead) "We've had reports that there's a spy in the Ministry of Defense. The contents of this room are vital to the country. Be on special alert."
  • (Fat Bastard) "Yes sir."
  • (Oliver Muirhead) "And, uh, try to lose some weight, for God's sake."
  • (Fat Bastard) "Yes sir."
  • (Fat Bastard) "Mister English Colonel tellin' me to lose weight. "Oh, I'm a hard case" he says."
  • (Fat Bastard) "Well, listen up, sonny Jim: I ate a baby. Oh, aye, baby. The other, other white meat. Baby, it's what's for dinner."
  • (Radar Operator) "Colonel, you better have a look at this radar."
  • (Oliver Muirhead) "What is it, son?"
  • (Radar Operator) "I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant --"
  • (Jet Pilot) "Dick. Dick, take a look out of starboard."
  • (Co-Pilot) "Oh my God, it looks like a huge --"
  • (Bird-Watching Woman) "Pecker."
  • (Bird-Watching Man) "Ooh, Where?"
  • (Bird-Watching Woman) "Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's --"
  • (Army Sergeant) "Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with --"
  • (Baseball Umpire) "Two balls."
  • (Baseball Umpire) "What is that. It looks just like an enormous --"
  • (Chinese Teacher) "Wang. pay attention."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "I was distracted by that giant flying --"
  • (Will Ferrell) "Willie."
  • (Willie) "Yeah?"
  • (Will Ferrell) "What's that?"
  • (Willie) "Well, that looks like a huge --"
  • (Oliver Muirhead) "Johnson."
  • (Radar Operator) "Yes, sir?"
  • (Oliver Muirhead) "Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this."

Will Ferrell as Mustafa

  • (Will Ferrell) "Hello, out there. Is the movie over? I'm still down here, and I'm still in quite a lot of pain. Maybe someone in the lobby could call an ambulance. Oh. The pain is really quite severe. I fashioned a makeshift splint. Here goes nothing."

Heather Graham as Felicity Shagwell

  • (Heather Graham) "So Austin, tell me about the future."
  • (Mike Myers) "Well everyone has their own flying car, entire meals come in pill form, and the Earth is run by damn dirty apes."
  • (Heather Graham) "Oh my God."
  • (Heather Graham) "Austin Powers, I presume."
  • (Mike Myers) "Powers by name, powers by reputation."
  • (Heather Graham) "Felicity Shagwell, CIA. Shagwell by name, shag-very-well by reputation."
  • (Mike Myers) "Oh, be-have."
  • (Heather Graham) "Not if I can help it."
  • (Heather Graham) "I want to see what happens in the 70s and 80s."
  • (Mike Myers) "The 70s and the 80s? You're not missing anything, believe me. I've looked into it. There's a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls. That's about it."
  • (Heather Graham) "Move over, Rover. This chick is taking over."

Kristen Johnston as Ivana

  • (Kristen Johnston) "Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?"
  • (Mike Myers) "I can guess, baby."
  • (Kristen Johnston) "We play chess."
  • (Mike Myers) "I guessed wrong."
  • (Kristen Johnston) "When did you get "The Clapper"?"
  • (Mike Myers) "November, 1964, Dutch East Indies, shore leave."
  • (Kristen Johnston) "Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?"
  • (Mike Myers) "I can guess, baby."
  • (Kristen Johnston) "We play chess."
  • (Mike Myers) "I guessed wrong."

Seth Green as Scott

  • (Seth Green) "How could you do this to me? On national television."
  • (Dr. Evil) "Well, throw me a freakin' bone here, Scott."
  • (Seth Green) "Why did you run out on me?"
  • (Dr. Evil) "Because you're not quite evil enough."
  • (Dr. Evil) "Well it's true. It's true. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough."
  • (Dr. Evil) "You see, I've turned the moon into what I like to call a "Death Star"."
  • (Dr. Evil) "What?"
  • (Seth Green) "Oh, nothing, Darth."
  • (Dr. Evil) "What did you call me?"
  • (Seth Green) "Nothing."
  • (Seth Green) "Ripoff."
  • (Dr. Evil) "Bless you."
  • (Seth Green) "If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something?"
  • (Dr. Evil) "How about, no, Scott? Okay?"
  • (Seth Green) "Look, I was wondering if we could work all this out? You are, after all, my father."
  • (Seth Green) "Scott, you had your chance, okay? I've already had someone created in my image. He's evil, he wants to take over the world, and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins."
  • (Seth Green) "Him? Look at him, he's crazy. He's like a vicious little Chihuahua thing. He'll kill me the first chance he gets."
  • (Seth Green) "Probably."
  • (Seth Green) "Well, looks like you have a choice, Mr. Powers. Save the world, or save your girlfriend."
  • (Heather Graham) "Austin."
  • (Past Austin) "Felicity."
  • (Heather Graham) "Don't worry about me, Austin. You've got to save the world."
  • (Mike Myers) "I choose love, baby."
  • (Past Austin) "Wait a tick. Who are you?"
  • (Mike Myers) "I'm you ten minutes from now."
  • (Past Austin) "Damn it. You are handsome, baby, yeah."
  • (Mike Myers) "I was just thinking the same."
  • (Past Austin) "We are sexy."
  • (Mike Myers) "We are sexy bitches, yes."
  • (Seth Green) "Alright, this is re-god****-diculous. Kill them both."
  • (Dr. Evil) "As you know, every diabolical scheme I've hatched has been thwarted by Austin Powers. And why is that, ladies and gentlemen?"
  • (Seth Green) "Because you never kill him when you get the chance, and you're a big dope?"
  • (Dr. Evil) "Any ways, the key to this plan is the giant laser. It was invented by the noted Cambridge physicist Dr. Parsons. Therefore, we shall call it the Alan Parsons Project."
  • (Seth Green) "Oh, my God."
  • (Dr. Evil) "What now?"
  • (Seth Green) "The Alan Parsons Project is a progressive rock band in 1982. Why don't you just name it 'Operation Wang-Chung'? Ass."
  • (Dr. Evil) "I'm sorry, i don't --"
  • (Seth Green) "Oh nothing. I'm sure 'Operation Bananarama' will be huge."

Robert Wagner as Number Two

  • (Robert Wagner) "Why not use your knowledge of the future to play the stock markets? We could make trillions."
  • (Dr. Evil) "Why make a trillion when we could make -- billions?"
  • (Seth Green) "A trillion's more than a billion, numbnuts."

Elizabeth Hurley as Vanessa Kensington

  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Do you smoke after sex?"
  • (Mike Myers) "I don't know, baby, I never looked."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "I'm gonna get us some more champagne jungle boy"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "I'm gonna get us some more champagne jungle boy"
  • (Mike Myers) "Are you alright?"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "I've never felt better Austin"
  • (Mike Myers) "Huh? I'm just gonna watch a movie"

Michael York as Basil

  • (Michael York) "Did we get Dr. Evil?"
  • (Radar Operator) "No, sir, he got away in that big spaceship that looks like a huge --"
  • (Teacher) "Penis. The male reproductive organ. Also known as tallywhacker, schlong, or --"
  • (Friendly Dad) "Wiener? Any of your kids want another wiener?"
  • (Friendly Son) "Dad, what's that?"
  • (Friendly Dad) "I don't know, son, but it has great big --"
  • (Peanut Vendor) "Nuts. Hot, salty nuts. Who wants some? --"
  • (Peanut Vendor) "Lord Almighty."
  • (Woman) "That looks just like my husband's --"
  • (Circus Barker) "ONE-EYED MONSTER. Step right up and see the One-eyed Monster."
  • (Jeff Garlin) "RARRR."
  • (Jeff Garlin) "Hey, what's that? It looks like a --"
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "Woody. Woody Harrelson. Could I have your autograph?"
  • (Woody) "Sure. Oh, my Lord. Look at that thing."
  • (Elizabeth Hurley) "It's so huge."
  • (Woody) "No, I've seen bigger. That's --"
  • (Dr. Evil) "Just a little prick."

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