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Bean (film) Quotes

Bean (film) is a TV show that first aired in 1970 . Bean stopped airing in 1970.

It features Peter Bennett-Jones; Tim Bevan; Eric Fellner; Richard Curtis as producer, Howard Goodall in charge of musical score, and Francis Kenny as head of cinematography.

Bean (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom, and United States. Each episode of Bean (film) is 90 minutes long. Bean (film) is distributed by PolyGram Filmed Entertainment, and Gramercy Pictures.

The cast includes: Rowan Atkinson as Mr. Bean, Richard Gant as Lt. Brutus, Peter MacNicol as David Langley, Burt Reynolds as General Newton, Sandra Oh as Bernice Schimmel, Andrew Lawrence as Kevin Langley, Tricia Vessey as Jennifer Langley, and Pamela Reed as Alison Langley.

Bean (film) Quotes

Andrew Lawrence as Kevin Langley

  • (Andrew Lawrence) "I can't sleep. I can'e stop thinking about naked women. What about you?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Whistler's Mother."
  • (Andrew Lawrence) "Well, whatever turns you on."
  • (Andrew Lawrence) "Hey, what's wrong with Meat Loaf's butt?"

Richard Gant as Lt. Brutus

  • (Richard Gant) "Mr. Bean, are you presently on any kind of medication?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Not that I know of."
  • (Richard Gant) "You certainly could use some."
  • (Richard Gant) "He's a genius, huh?"
  • (Peter MacNicol) "That's what they tell me."
  • (Richard Gant) "Well, he looks like a fruit cake to me."

Peter MacNicol as David Langley

  • (Peter MacNicol) "I must admit, over the time you've been here, certain -- suspicions have begun to gather in my mind. I'm going to be frank here -- are you a doctor?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "ummm --"
  • (Peter MacNicol) "okay number two, do you know anything about art. I mean -- let me see -- was Leonardo Da Vinci a famous American basketball player?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "-- yes"
  • (Peter MacNicol) "-- I see"
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Come on, everybody, it's gonna be great. Dr. Bean is a genius of the very highest order."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Well sir, an unorthodox start; but I never expected things with a man of your calibre to be normal. I must confess I've never actually read any of your work. Tell me doctor, what exactly is your position at the gallery?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "I sit in the corner -- and look at the paintings."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Ach. That is brilliant. If only more scholars would do that, not lecture and write and argue, but just sit and look at the paintings. Now that is brilliant."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Say, do you drink, Bean?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "No."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Good, neither do I."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Doesn't it take, like, five hours?"
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "-- not -- necessarily"
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Why am I worried about this? You did it. All I gotta do is go tell 'em what happened. But they'll say, "Who left him alone with the picture?" And I'll say, "Me". And they'll say, "You're fired" and I'll say, "Fine". They'll say, "No, no, no, firing's not good enough. Let's prosecute you for negligence". I go to jail, my wife leaves me, my daughter becomes a prostitute, I wind up on death row sharing a cell with Butch McDick."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "I've given my life to art and from here on in, the only art I will get anywhere near are the pictures I draw on the pavement hoping passersby will throw nickels in my hat. I guess the long on the short of it: I wish I'd never been born."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Oh Jesus. Oh God. Oh Jesus. Mary mother Jesus of Nazareth."

Rowan Atkinson as Mr. Bean

  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Brace yourself."
  • (Rowan Atkinson) "Hello, I'm Dr. Bean. Apparently. And my job is to sit and look at paintings. So, what have I learned that I can say about this painting? Well, firstly, it's quite big, which is excellent. If it were very small, microscopic, then hardly anyone would be able to see it. Which would be a shame. Secondly, and I'm getting quite near the end of this -- analysis, secondly, why was it worth this man spending fifty million of your American dollars? And the answer to that is, that it's a picture of Whistler's mother. And as I've learned, staying with my best friend David Langley and his family, families are very important. Even though Mr. Whistler was obviously aware that his mother was a hideous old bat who looked like she'd had a cactus lodged up her backside, he stuck with her, and even took the time to paint this amazing picture of her. And that's marvellous. It's not just a painting. It's a picture of a mad old cow who he thought the world of. Well that's what I think."

Burt Reynolds as General Newton

  • (Burt Reynolds) "I don't know the difference between Picasso and a car crash."

Sandra Oh as Bernice Schimmel

  • (Sandra Oh) "I genuinely believe that we could get Jon Bon Jovi."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "Jon Bon Jovi? To unveil, "Whistler's Mother"?"
  • (Sandra Oh) "Yes."
  • (Peter MacNicol) "I've got nothing against Jon Bon Jovi. The man has had two great hairstyles in the last ten years, which is an achievement not to be sniffed at. But so far as I know, Mr Jovi knows absolutely nothing about 19th-century Impressionism."

Tricia Vessey as Jennifer Langley

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