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Beerfest Quotes

Beerfest is a television program that debuted in 1970 . Beerfest ended its run in 1970.

It features Bill Gerber, and Richard Perello as producer, Nathan Barr in charge of musical score, and Frank G. DeMarco as head of cinematography.

Beerfest is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Beerfest is 110 minutes long. Beerfest is distributed by Warner Bros..

The cast includes: Jay Chandrasekhar as Barry Badrinath, Cloris Leachman as Great Gam Gam, Eric Christian Olsen as Gunter, Will Forte as Otto, Kevin Heffernan as Landfill, Paul Soter as Jan Wolfhouse, Blanchard Ryan as Krista Krundle, Erik Stolhanske as Todd Wolfhouse, Jürgen Prochnow as Wolfgang von Wolfhaus, Kevin Heffernan as Gil, Mo'Nique as Cherry, Ralf Möller as Hammacher, Philippe Brenninkmeyer as Herr Referee, Nat Faxon as Rolf, and Gunter Schlierkamp as Schlemmer.

Beerfest Quotes

Paul Soter as Jan Wolfhouse

  • (Paul Soter) "Get bent, Umlaut"
  • (Paul Soter) "Where are you taking him?"
  • (Will Forte) "He is of no concern to you."
  • (Paul Soter) "And here's something else you forgot to factor in; we're not that drunk."
  • (Pim Scutney) "Did you hear that everybody? They said they're not that drunk. Cheeky bastards."
  • (Unnamed) "They're not that drunk. They're not that drunk. They're not that drunk."
  • (Paul Soter) "Are you sure you want to do this?"
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "Are you kidding? She's hot as hell. I'm just lookin' for a little slap n' pickle."
  • (Paul Soter) "You're drunk."
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "Hey -- I'm drunk, you're drunk -- everybody's drunk."
  • (Paul Soter) "So yeah, I heard you got fired from the brewery?"
  • (Kevin Heffernan) "God damn brewery. You know that brewery makes 10,000 bottles of beer a day. I drink 45 of them, and I'm the asshole."

Kevin Heffernan as Landfill

  • (Kevin Heffernan) "Real funny, Deutsch bag."
  • (Kevin Heffernan) "Looks like we got the Brits in round 1. We already kicked their asses in WWII. Cheer-i-o, let's do it again."
  • (Kevin Heffernan) "Let's get sour on some Krauts."
  • (Kevin Heffernan) "Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath?"
  • (Steve "Fink" Finklestein) "Come on, guys. I'm a respected member of the scientific community. I've been published in four journals."
  • (Kevin Heffernan) "Which one? Toad Load Weekly?"
  • (Kevin Heffernan) "If he had it, why didn't he brew it?"
  • (Steve "Fink" Finklestein) "Hebrew?"
  • (Steve "Fink" Finklestein) "Drunken recall. I gave my subjects massive quantities of alcohol and then I taught them things while they were blacked out. When they woke up the next morning, they couldn't remember anything. But when I got them drunk again, they remembered everything that I taught them the night before. I got it published."
  • (Kevin Heffernan) "Where?"
  • (Steve "Fink" Finklestein) "In Maxim Magazine under the tile of "E=MC Hammered"."
  • (Steve "Fink" Finklestein) "I'll show you how to chug a beer, motherf***er, you fat f***in' cow. L'Chaim."
  • (Kevin Heffernan) "Uh oh. I think somebody's trying to chug in my face."

Mo'Nique as Cherry

  • (Mo'Nique) "I'm gonna break your dick off."
  • (Mo'Nique) "How many licks does it take to get to the center?"
  • (Mo'Nique) "You're f***ed."

Jay Chandrasekhar as Barry Badrinath

  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "Oh man, that's the most disgusting thing I've ever drank."
  • (Kevin Heffernan) "I doubt that very much, playboy"
  • (Steve "Fink" Finklestein) "I'm gonna puke. Hey guys -- I don't think sitting on a rooftop drinking ram's piss is the way to go. We should get out there, and mix it up with some randoms."
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "Yeah."
  • (Kevin Heffernan) "Let's get bombed."
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "Hey Todd. About the old girlfriend. Can we bury the hatchet, buddy?"
  • (Erik Stolhanske) "I don't know."
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "I mean it was a one night stand, right? I mean she wasn't even that good looking. A real dead fish, right? She just laid there and took it like a plastic f*** doll."
  • (Erik Stolhanske) "I happened to have MARRIED that plastic f*** doll."
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "It's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a ZJ --"
  • (Kevin Heffernan) "What's a ZJ?"
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "If you have to ask, you can't afford it."
  • (Steve "Fink" Finklestein) "I've got $4."
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "Oh no, not again."
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "I was in Thailand playing ping-pong in Ding Dang. I was in a real high stakes game in some opium den. Turns out the guys I was playing aren't the kind of guys who like to lose. After I beat 'em, they beat me. Worked me over pretty good. And this is hard to say -- they held me down and shoved a ping-pong paddle up my ass. It's never been the same. Damaged goods."
  • (Steve "Fink" Finklestein) "Gosh, Barry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would do if someone shoved a paddle handle up my ass."
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "It wasn't the handle. I've been s***ting pancakes ever since."
  • (Cloris Leachman) "Mr. Badrinath -- we are not so different, you and I. I've had all kinds of things shoved up my ass. I got over it. You will, too."
  • (Cloris Leachman) "You will, too."
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "Come on, I knew it the whole time."
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "Why don't we get you out those wet clothes, and into a dry martini."
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "I'm better when I'm drunk."
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "I wish it were winter so we could freeze it into ice blocks and skate on it and melt it in the spring time and drink it."
  • (Pim Scutney) "You're all fur coat and no trousers, you are."
  • (Steve "Fink" Finklestein) "I'm sorry, one more time?"
  • (Rog Gobshire) "Shove off. We're gonna put the skitters in your Alan Whickers, you plonker."
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "Do you know what he's saying?"
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "All I'm saying is -- that whore thing could be a real possibility. Some of my best friends are whores."
  • (Paul Soter) "We know, Barry."

Blanchard Ryan as Krista Krundle

  • (Blanchard Ryan) "Landfill #2, you are twice the man Landfill #1 was."

Eric Christian Olsen as Gunter

  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "Za f*** is zat?"
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "He stole it und now instead of Deutschland's greatest beer we merely have fourth best behind Steinemarzen, Rottenburger, und -- und --"
  • (Will Forte) "Und Beck's?"
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "Und Beck's? Ja und Beck's."

Jürgen Prochnow as Wolfgang von Wolfhaus

  • (Jürgen Prochnow) "I start to feel all cooped up in these U-Boats; I had a bad experience once."
  • (Jürgen Prochnow) "It appears it is time to initiate Operation Recipe Retrieve."
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "Is that the title we all agreed on? I kind of like Operation Stein Grab."
  • (Nat Faxon) "Or what about Brauheist 2006?"
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "Oh, that's a good one."
  • (Nat Faxon) "Ja, it's kind of spunky."
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "Ja, it's fun."

Will Forte as Otto

  • (Will Forte) "It was ze greatest beer in all ze vorld."
  • (Will Forte) "Ya it looks like his head is covered in pubic hair"
  • (Will Forte) "but it's ok it works, ya, cause you've got a dickface."
  • (Will Forte) "Despite your thievery, we are prepared to buy it from you right now -- in cash."
  • (Paul Soter) "Big deal. A suitcase full of monopoly money."
  • (Gunter Schlierkamp) "Come on, those are euros."
  • (Kevin Heffernan) "What's that, like pesos?"
  • (Will Forte) "That is legal European tender."
  • (Nat Faxon) "I told you we should have brought Deutsch marks."
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "But they are so hard to find."

Erik Stolhanske as Todd Wolfhouse

  • (Steve "Fink" Finklestein) "Somehow I cloned a batch of monkey frogs."
  • (Erik Stolhanske) "They hand out Nobel prizes for stuff like that?"
  • (Paul Soter) "Let me see that, let me see you little --"
  • (Paul Soter) "Oh my god."
  • (Erik Stolhanske) "Oh my god, what have you done?"
  • (Erik Stolhanske) "This is that moment that only exists in sports; where the coach gives a speech on the jumbotrom to get the hometown fans fired up. We're the bad guys and they're the good guys, and I'll be damned if we let the good guys win."
  • (Jay Chandrasekhar) "Uh, we're the good guys and they're the bad guys --"
  • (Erik Stolhanske) "What's wrong?"
  • (Paul Soter) "This means Great Gam Gam really was a whore."
  • (Erik Stolhanske) "LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA --"
  • (Erik Stolhanske) "Steve's got the eye of the Jew."

Cloris Leachman as Great Gam Gam

  • (Cloris Leachman) "What happened to you?"
  • (Paul Soter) "Oh, I, uh, accidentally walked into a wall -- the Berlin Wall --"
  • (Cloris Leachman) "You two are the rightful heirs to the Von Wolfhausen Brewery. You should have the balls to take back what is yours."
  • (Steve "Fink" Finklestein) "Wow. You even talk like a whore."
  • (Cloris Leachman) "We are all whores in some ways."
  • (Cloris Leachman) "I always sleep better with a little sausage in me."

Ralf Möller as Hammacher

  • (Ralf Möller) "It's time to scheisse, or get off ze crapper."

Philippe Brenninkmeyer as Herr Referee

  • (Philippe Brenninkmeyer) "DAS BOOT."

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