(Article is below...)

Beverly Hills Ninja Quotes

Beverly Hills Ninja is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . Beverly Hills Ninja completed its run in 1970.

It features Bradley Jenkel, Brad Krevoy, Steven Stabler, and Mitch Klebanoff as producer, George S. Clinton in charge of musical score, and Arthur Albert as head of cinematography.

Beverly Hills Ninja is recorded in English, and Japanese and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Beverly Hills Ninja is 88 minutes long. Beverly Hills Ninja is distributed by TriStar Pictures.

The cast includes: Chris Farley as Haru, Will Sasso as Chet Walters, Patrick Breen as Desk Manager, Soon-Tek Oh as Sensei, Nicollette Sheridan as Allison, Chris Rock as Joey, Jason Tobin as Boy, Robin Shou as Gobei, and Nathaniel Parker as Martin Tanley.

Beverly Hills Ninja Quotes

Chris Farley as Haru

  • (Chris Farley) "Keep practicing, Joey, and someday you will choke that chicken."
  • (Chris Farley) "Sensei, she is incapable of such things. She is as lovely as a dove."
  • (Soon-Tek Oh) "It sounds to me you are being lead around by your short sword."
  • (Chris Farley) "Only when I cease to breathe will I be dead, Tanley."
  • (Chris Farley) "I am one with the universe. I am one with the universe."
  • (Chris Farley) "NO I AM NOT."
  • (Chris Farley) "I may not be a great ninja; I may not be one with the universe; but I will say this: NO ONE MESSES WITH MY BROTHER."
  • (Chris Farley) "I have traveled many miles and now have come disguised as a pimp to help you."
  • (Chris Farley) "Do not worry. A ninja knows when he is in danger."
  • (Chris Farley) "Now we are in danger. We are really in danger."
  • (Chris Farley) "You may subject me to any torture you can think of, but a ninja does not talk."
  • (Nathaniel Parker) "Ninja? You're a ninja? You're the big fat ninja everyone's talking about, aren't you?"
  • (Chris Farley) "Great White Ninja."
  • (Chris Farley) "Oh I see you got the R2347ST Printing press. This thing came out the same time I was printing leaflets for the Shave the Whales Foundation."
  • (Nathaniel Parker) "You mean Save the Whales."
  • (Chris Farley) "Oh is that what you did with them, maybe it was starve the whales, starve the whales."
  • (Chris Farley) "Haru, you are truly the Great White Ninja."
  • (Chris Farley) "Did I say "ninja"? I meant "ninny". Haru, you are such a ninny."
  • (Chris Farley) "I am sure you would like to know who I am and what I do, but as part of my creed, I cannot tell you. See my identity must remain mysterious and my mission secret, I cannot reveal it to you."
  • (Jason Tobin) "Why not?"
  • (Chris Farley) "Because I would then have to kill you."
  • (Jason Tobin) "Daddy."
  • (Chris Farley) "The blackness of my belt is like the inside of a coffin on a moonless night."
  • (Chris Rock) "That's pretty black, Man."
  • (Chris Farley) "It is a black art, and I, Haru, am the blackest of the black. Or rather the great white black art -- Blackest -- Master."
  • (Chris Farley) "Okey dokey, lets see what we got baking in the oven. Yeah, ya, ya, ya, ya. Not yet a match. Ok well, it looks like we are about one degree Celsius off on that ah magenta color. What I can do is quantify the 7F reading. To me they're just a little bit off, what I can do on that is run a pap smear, and that should even it out."

Chris Rock as Joey

  • (Chris Rock) "Do you know what I do everyday once I leave here?"
  • (Chris Farley) "No, what?"
  • (Chris Rock) "I'm running. I'm always running, man. My neighborhood's bad, Man, I gotta run to get cigarettes, I gotta run to get milk, I gotta run to take out the trash. Know why? Because whenever I leave my house, there's somebody out there just waiting to kick my ass."

Patrick Breen as Desk Manager

  • (Patrick Breen) "73 minutes to deliver to suitcases and 1 garment bag. do you have an explination Mr. Washington?"
  • (Chris Rock) "Yes sir, I seem to be developing tunnel carpel syndrome in my wrist, I believe it's from carrying, really heavy garment bags around, now, I don't want to go on disability, and sue this company for millions of dollars, so I figured I would just pace myself."
  • (Patrick Breen) "Mr. Washington, everything you do -- irritates me."
  • (Chris Rock) "I'm gonna go soak my wrists."
  • (Patrick Breen) "Can I help you sir?"
  • (Chris Farley) "Yes, I am looking for a Sally Jones"
  • (Patrick Breen) "I'm sorry, I don't see anyone by that name in my computer, so if you will excuse me."
  • (Chris Farley) "I would like to rent one of your lodgings, is the cost great?"
  • (Patrick Breen) "Compared to what? I hut and a rice patty. Sir, we are a five star hotel, with 600 rooms, booked 6 months in advance."
  • (Chris Farley) "I have money."
  • (Patrick Breen) "I'm sure you do, but unfortunately, we don't take Wompum."
  • (Chris Farley) "Do you perhaps, perhaps take Gold?"
  • (Patrick Breen) "Front. Perhaps I shall send Dom Perignon to your room?"
  • (Chris Farley) "I prefer to be alone tonight, perhaps later I will meet your friend Don."
  • (Patrick Breen) "1A"
  • (Chris Rock) "1A. Ooww, my wrists. What have you got in here man, car radios?"

Soon-Tek Oh as Sensei

  • (Soon-Tek Oh) "Twenty five years ago, an ancient legend of this sacred art came alive. It spoke of a foreign child who would come among us and become a Ninja master unlike any other. How he arrived on our shores will forever remain a mystery. We Ninjas thought that this child would be the great white Ninja of the legend. We were wrong. We were very wrong."

Robin Shou as Gobei

  • (Robin Shou) "I love my little brother. His determination is like a tiger, swift as a --"
  • (Soon-Tek Oh) "GOBEI."
  • (Robin Shou) "He's fat. He's a fool. He's an embarassment to all ninjas everywhere."

Nicollette Sheridan as Allison

  • (Nicollette Sheridan) "Our car broke down, could we use the phone?"
  • (Will Sasso) "Oh, car trouble? Don't get me started. I got a 1975 Fairmont that's as hard to turn over as me on Laguna Beach."
  • (Nicollette Sheridan) "Hello?"
  • (Nicollette Sheridan) "Is this the Takagura Dojo?"
  • (Chris Farley) "UUHH? Yyaa -- I uummm --"
  • (Nicollette Sheridan) "Maybe I should come back later."
  • (Chris Farley) "No wait, don't go, I mean -- Yes this is the Takagura Dojo. Please come in and have a seat. I am Haru. Wait."
  • (Nicollette Sheridan) "That's impressive. I am in need of a ninja, but you seem to be white."
  • (Chris Farley) "Aaahhh. You are observant, as well as beautiful. Have you not heard about the legend about the foreign child who will grow up to be the great white ninja?"
  • (Nicollette Sheridan) "why no, is that you?"
  • (Chris Farley) "Some -- say it is so. You see it is written in the holy writ, see it says here, a century shall pass, and then OOHHH. this is the wrong writ, this is the one about the Sensei and two 12 year old twin Geishias, also a good legend, but not the one we are looking for --"
  • (Chris Farley) "aahhh, here is my legend, it says here, that a forgein child will come to our village and learn the ways of the ninja."
  • (Nicollette Sheridan) "It's burning."
  • (Chris Farley) "Yes, the words have been seared into my heart as well."
  • (Nicollette Sheridan) "No, it's really burning."
  • (Chris Farley) "Yes I can tell,"
  • (Chris Farley) "Oh my God."
  • (Chris Farley) "They may have a second copy. Let me show you a ample of my skills."
  • (Chris Farley) "That rack, was not build by ninjas. These however were."
  • (Chris Farley) "Wow. Luck is with me today, for this shrine holds the ashes of our fallen warriors"
  • (Chris Farley) "Oh. Sensei is going to kill me."
  • (Chris Farley) "Takguri. Master Goe"
  • (Chris Farley) "Sempo? Kai?"
  • (Chris Farley) "At least they all worked as a team."
  • (Nicollette Sheridan) "This is excellent, because the job I ask requires great stealth."
  • (Chris Farley) "Aahh, my highest score where in stealth, let me give you an example, turn around, close your eyes and count to 9, when you open them I will be gone."
  • (Nicollette Sheridan) "Ok. 1. 2. 3."
  • (Nicollette Sheridan) "4. 5. 6."
  • (Nicollette Sheridan) "7. 8. 9."
  • (Nicollette Sheridan) "Haru? Haru?"
  • (Chris Farley) "Here I am, Sally Jones, I will accept your dangerous mission."

Will Sasso as Chet Walters

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.

Additional Film and TV Quotes

Delirious (1991 film) Quotes | Summer Rental Quotes | The O'Keefes Quotes | Don't Drink the Water (1994 film) Quotes | The Opposite Sex Quotes | J. D.'s Revenge Quotes | Summer Stock Quotes | The Horn Blows at Midnight Quotes | The Secrets of Isis Quotes | The First Great Train Robbery Quotes | Court Martial (TV series) Quotes | Once Bitten (1985 film) Quotes | Kissing a Fool Quotes | Noises Off (film) Quotes | Bratz (TV series) Quotes | The Glass House (2001 film) Quotes | G.O.R.A. Quotes | Hope Floats Quotes | PB and J Otter Quotes | Sunday Bloody Sunday (film) Quotes | Yours, Mine and Ours (2005 film) Quotes | The Gunfighter Quotes | Ditto (2000 film) Quotes | Masked and Anonymous Quotes | Rosalinda (TV series) Quotes |