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Big Trouble (2002 film) Quotes

Big Trouble (2002 film) is a television show that debuted in 1970 . Big Trouble ended its run in 1970.

It features Barry Sonnenfeld as producer, James Newton Howard in charge of musical score, and Greg Gardiner as head of cinematography.

Big Trouble (2002 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Big Trouble (2002 film) is 85 minutes long. Big Trouble (2002 film) is distributed by Buena Vista Pictures.

The cast includes: Stanley Tucci as Arthur Herk, Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler as Henry Desalvo, Tim Allen as Eliot Arnold, Ben Foster as Matt Arnold, Zooey Deschanel as Jenny Herk, Janeane Garofalo as Officer Monica Romero, Rene Russo as Anna Herk, Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville as Snake, Heavy D and Omar Epps as Pat Greer, Mike McShane as Bruce, Janeane Garofalo as Monica Romero, Jason Lee as Puggy, Patrick Warburton as Officer Walter Kramitz, Andy Richter as Jack Pendick, DJ Qualls as Andrew, DJ Qualls as Ivan, and Sofía Vergara as Nina.

Big Trouble (2002 film) Quotes

Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville as Snake

  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "How about we go now?"
  • (Airplane Captain Justin Hobart) "Sir, we have to finish the preflight checklist. It's for your safety, sir."
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "I got my safety right here, asshole."
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "Next time I see you again, you're dead."
  • (Leonard) "Out."
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "He broke my ankle."
  • (Leonard) "I break your head."
  • (Eddie) "Okay, we gotta pick a road. Arrivals or departures? We're arriving, but then we're departing. Which one, Snake?"
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "What do you think?"
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "I think you guys should turn yourselves in and plead not guilty by reason of stupidity."
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "Departures."
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "We need four tickets to the Bahamas, one-way, next flight you got."
  • (Fly by Air Ticket Agent) "Nassau or Freeport?"
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "The Bahamas."
  • (Fly by Air Ticket Agent) "Nassau and Freeport are in the Bahamas."
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "Whichever's next."
  • (Fly by Air Ticket Agent) "Ok, I gonna need your names sir."
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "John Smith."
  • (Fly by Air Ticket Agent) "And the other names, sir?"
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "John Smith."
  • (Fly by Air Ticket Agent) "You're all John Smith?"
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "Everybody."
  • (Fly by Air Ticket Agent) "Ok, I'm gonna need some ID."
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "There you go."
  • (Fly by Air Ticket Agent) "Ok, family Smith. Have a nice flight."
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "Remember. I'm gonna have this thing pointed right at you. So, don't do something stupid."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "How would you even know if I did something stupid."
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "I'll just know. Believe me, I can tell the difference."
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "If you don't do like I say, you know what's gonna happen to you, right?"
  • (Jason Lee) "You're gonna shoot me?"
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "You got that right."

Mike McShane as Bruce

  • (Mike McShane) "I hope you realize you've just committed assault."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "I know, I know. Time was, you actually had to hit somebody."
  • (Mike McShane) "She should be bending over for maximum exposure."
  • (Tim Allen) "Maximum exposure --"

Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler as Henry Desalvo

  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "We have a die-hard situation developing in the kitchen."
  • (Leonard) "What's happening?"
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "Well, either he's going to whack 'em with a rolling pin or bake him a cake. I don't know. Could go either way with this crew."
  • (Leonard) "Look at this thing. He's the size of a Buick."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "She."
  • (Leonard) "She what?"
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "The mosquito is a she."
  • (Leonard) "How the hell can you tell that?"
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "Discovery channel. Only the female mosquito sucks your blood."
  • (Leonard) "Sounds like my ex-wife. "Bitch.""
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "Well, Miami sucks. But the cops are kind of nice."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "There was another shooter."
  • (Unnamed) "What do you mean?"
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "What do I mean? What do you mean "what do I mean". I mean there was another shooter is what I mean."
  • (Annoyed Sports Radio Host) "I'm looking for one brave Gators fan to call, just one. Oh so Gators fans talk trash all the time but when they play a game and lose nobody has the guts to call in?"
  • (Leonard) "What are Gators?"
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "Football. College."
  • (Confused Sports Radio Call In) "I'm a Gators fan."
  • (Annoyed Sports Radio Host) "And what do you have to say?"
  • (Confused Sports Radio Call In) "You said that Gators fans don't have the guts to call in."
  • (Annoyed Sports Radio Host) "Your point?"
  • (Confused Sports Radio Call In) "My point is that I'm calling you now."
  • (Leonard) "Is that him?"
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "I think we got Gator fans."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "You go tell your employer it's gonna cost him another 10 G's apiece."
  • (Unnamed) "Okay. But we want this finished as soon as possible."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "Well, believe me, we don't want to spend anymore time in this garden spot than we have to."
  • (Leonard) "Got that right."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "Apparently there was some kind of traffic commotion. Let's see if there's anything about it on the radio."
  • (Confused Sports Radio Call In) "Well you're not hearing what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that I'm a Gators fan and I'm calling you now."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "I got a great New York Strip over there that cost me $27 in change and it tastes like I'm eating a cigar butt. Now please put out your cigars."
  • (Mike McShane) "There's no rule against smoking here."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "This isn't about rules, it's about manners. Now there's no rule that says that I cant come over here and fart on your entree. But I don't do it. Why? Because it's not good manners. Now I'm asking you please; put out your cigars."
  • (Mike McShane) "No."
  • (Mike McShane) "I hope you realize you've just committed assault."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "I know. There was a time when you actually had to hit somebody."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "Moron #2 just got Moron #1 all wet."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "We're gonna miss our flight."
  • (Leonard) "You see what the problem is?"
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "I don't know. There's some kind of commotion up there. There might be something about it on the radio."
  • (Leonard) "What's happening?"
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "Well, Moron #1 is tying up the family."
  • (Leonard) "So take the shot."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "I would, but Moron #2 just came back with a couple of Miami's Finest."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "Hold on a second. We have a Die Hard situation developing in the kitchen."
  • (Leonard) "What?"
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "There's a guy there in the kitchen."
  • (Leonard) "A guy? What's he doing?"
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "Well my guess is he's either gonna whack em' with a rolling pin or he's gonna bake em' a cake. I don't know. Could go either way with this crew."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "Holy s***. Betty Crocker's got a squirt gun."
  • (Leonard) "Let me look."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "Forget about it. This is better than pay-per-view."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "There goes the warranty, and here comes the Iron Chef."
  • (Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler) "I really feel like killing someone."

Zooey Deschanel as Jenny Herk

  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Can I borrow this? I'm totally into the Seminal Fluids. Arthur threw mine out at the carwash. He doesn't think it's music unless someone's playing an accordion."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "You, don't look at my ass when I walk away."
  • (DJ Qualls) "I can't make that promise."
  • (DJ Qualls) "Whoa. "You can squirt me tonight down at Bayside." You're gonna remember that line when you're an old dude, dude."
  • (Ben Foster) "Are you looking at her ass?"
  • (DJ Qualls) "Yeah."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "I'm going upstairs where it's not so, I dunno, stupid."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "How do we wanna do this? We don't need to drag this any longer than it has to."
  • (DJ Qualls) "You can shoot her in the crotch. You can be a couple."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "This is a friend of yours?"

DJ Qualls as Ivan

  • (DJ Qualls) "So, what's the plan? Through the front?"
  • (Ben Foster) "Yeah. "It's Matt Arnold. I'm here to kill your daughter, Jenny.""
  • (Ben Foster) "No, we gotta go over the wall, dickweed. I just she doesn't see this stupid turdmobile."
  • (DJ Qualls) "Is bomb."

Stanley Tucci as Arthur Herk

  • (Stanley Tucci) "Now you and your s***head kid can get the hell out of here, and never come back."
  • (Tim Allen) "Thanks for everything."
  • (Stanley Tucci) "This is my god**** house."
  • (Janeane Garofalo) "Yes, and these are my handcuffs, and if you don't cooperate, you'll be wearing my handcuffs in your god**** house."
  • (Stanley Tucci) "Oh, my God. She's coming to get me."
  • (Heavy D and Omar Epps) "The dog, Mr. Herk?"
  • (Stanley Tucci) "No. Her."
  • (Heavy D and Omar Epps) "Who?"
  • (Stanley Tucci) "You know. Her."
  • (Martha Stewart) "Herk, Herk, Herk. Herk."
  • (Stanley Tucci) "Oh, my God, she knows my name -- She knows everything. She's come to take my soul."
  • (Heavy D and Omar Epps) "Mr. Herk, this is important --"
  • (Stanley Tucci) "Please don't let her take my soul."
  • (Heavy D and Omar Epps) "What the hell's he talking about?"
  • (Janeane Garofalo) "I don't know."
  • (Alan Seitz) "How close did he get to that toad?"
  • (Janeane Garofalo) "Like face first."
  • (Alan Seitz) "Beufotin. Hell of a hallucination. He's gone and he's not coming back."
  • (Stanley Tucci) "Nina, this is my house, you work for me, and I want to suck your toes."
  • (Stanley Tucci) "I'll tell you who it was, it was these god damn kids. And these god damn kids, they all have god damn guns, and they're all sniffing glue."
  • (Janeane Garofalo) "Any additional insights, Mr. Herk?"

Jason Lee as Puggy

  • (John) "You can stay."
  • (Jason Lee) "They took all my money."
  • (John) "It's okay. Free beer."
  • (Jason Lee) "My name is Puggy and I live in a tree. I hope I didn't ruin anything for you."
  • (Jason Lee) "You just cant beat these when they're really fresh. Anyway Elliot Arnold will have to continue this story because I was locked in the trunk of a car for most of it. My name is Puggy and I live in a tree. I hope I didn't ruin anything for you."

Heavy D and Omar Epps as Pat Greer

  • (Airport Officer Arch Ridley) "Name's Arch Ridley. Tell me what you need. Please don't kill me."
  • (Heavy D and Omar Epps) "We're tracking a couple of scumbags, with one, maybe two hostages and a big metal suitcase. Anybody in this crackerjack system of yours see anything like that?"
  • (Alan Seitz) "Oh, don't worry, Ivan. It's just your foot. See, this is what we at the bureau call an extremity shot. Generally, the victim survives. They don't do so well with what we call a torso shot."
  • (Heavy D and Omar Epps) "So what do you think, Ivan? Would you like to experience a torso shot?"
  • (Alan Seitz) "What makes you think this is the first time?"
  • (Heavy D and Omar Epps) "Never mind which time this is. The important thing is we got those assholes trapped at the airport, and until we say further, no plane is taking off."
  • (Janeane Garofalo) "You can do that?"
  • (Heavy D and Omar Epps) "Doesn't that just warm the cockles of your heart?"
  • (Alan Seitz) "Warms the s*** out of my cockles."

Patrick Warburton as Officer Walter Kramitz

  • (Patrick Warburton) "Are you going to help me, or are you just gonna be a big, fat, stupid asshole?"
  • (Andy Richter) "Strip search."

Janeane Garofalo as Monica Romero

  • (Janeane Garofalo) "I'm not gonna arrest you, Matt, unless Mrs. Herk wants to press charges."
  • (Rene Russo) "Hey, kids."
  • (Stanley Tucci) "I want to press charges. Cuff him."
  • (Janeane Garofalo) "My hands are kind of full right now, what with holding my dick and all."
  • (Janeane Garofalo) "Where did they get that stuff?"
  • (Heavy D and Omar Epps) "Russia."
  • (Janeane Garofalo) "Don't the Russians have controls on that kind of thing?"
  • (Heavy D and Omar Epps) "You'd faint if you knew. A few months ago, somebody got a warhead out of a missile-dismantlement facility in a place called - --"
  • (Alan Seitz) "Sergijev Posad. Not far from Moscow. Beautiful churches there."
  • (Heavy D and Omar Epps) "Anyway, somebody who knew what they were doing modified it. Dumped it on some guys who run a place here called The Jolly Jackal."
  • (Janeane Garofalo) "The bar?"
  • (Heavy D and Omar Epps) "That bar has more AK-47s than Budweiser."

Tim Allen as Eliot Arnold

  • (Tim Allen) "Do you think someone's trying to kill your husband?"
  • (Rene Russo) "God, I hope so."
  • (Tim Allen) "Strip poker. Strip poker. Now, that's a good game."
  • (Tim Allen) "This is a stupid game."
  • (Ben Foster) "Dad, no offense, but only a moron would mistake that for a real gun."
  • (Tim Allen) "You could've been killed. And where's your partner in crime?"
  • (Ben Foster) "Andrew?"
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "He ran the other way."
  • (Tim Allen) "Did anybody call the police?"
  • (Tim Allen) "Let go of the suitcase."
  • (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville) "The Kingpin will never let go of the Kingpin's suitcase."
  • (Tim Allen) "Arthur Herk. One of the few Floridians who was NOT confused when he voted for Pat Buchanan."
  • (Tim Allen) "What is it that brings two strangers together so that one soul inhabits two bodies? Sometimes it's profound. Sometimes it's Fritos."
  • (Tim Allen) "I hope you're not gonna give me a ticket for this."
  • (Patrick Warburton) "If I don't see them, I don't write them."

Ben Foster as Matt Arnold

  • (Ben Foster) "Uh, Jenny's mom opened the door, and I came running up to squirt her. And then, uh, Mrs. Herk jumped me -- or jumped ON me. And, uh, and then I went down on Jenny -- or I f-fell on Jenny."
  • (Ben Foster) "Dad, the goat kicked your Geo's ass."
  • (Tim Allen) "The car is a piece of s***, OK?"
  • (Ben Foster) "I hope they don't have a dog."
  • (Tim Allen) "As it turns out, the Herks did have a dog. His name was Roger and he was the random result of generations of hasty, unplanned dog sex."
  • (Geo Salesman) "Sweet little vehicle. Just get divorced? Ah, it doesn't matter. Forty-two miles to the gallon, AM/FM radio. I'll even throw in the undercoating. Anything else you'd like to know?"
  • (Ben Foster) "Yeah. How many clowns can it hold?"

Andy Richter as Jack Pendick

  • (Andy Richter) "Check this out."
  • (Jack Pendick Trainee) "Um, we're not supposed to be carrying guns."
  • (Andy Richter) "We're not supposed to drink on the job, either."

Sofía Vergara as Nina

  • (Sofía Vergara) "Jesus."
  • (Jason Lee) "Puggy."

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