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Bigger and Blacker Quotes

Bigger & Blacker is a Stand-up comedy that appeared on TV in 1970 on HBO. Bigger &amp completed its run in 1970.

It features Tom Bull as producer. Bigger & Blacker is executive produced by Chris Rock.

Bigger & Blacker is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Bigger & Blacker is 65 minutes long. Bigger & Blacker is produced by CR Enterprises and distributed by HBO.

Bigger & Blacker Quotes

  • (Chris Rock) "Doctors don't cure s***. They don't cure s***. The last disease doctors cured was polio. When's the last time you met someone with polio?"
  • (Chris Rock) ""Why weren't you at work today?" "Oh, my polio's actin' up again." They don't cure s***."
  • (Chris Rock) "When you're white, the sky's the limit. When you're black, the limit's the sky."
  • (Chris Rock) "The government curing AIDS? That's like Cadillac making a car that last for fifty years -- and you know they can do it. But they ain't gonna do something that f***ing dumb. s***. They got metal on the space shuttle that can go around the moon and withstand temperatures up to 20,000 degrees. You mean to tell me you don't think they can make an El Dorado where the f***ing bumper don't fall off?"
  • (Chris Rock) "There are three types of women in the world: A: Women that give NO head. B: Women that give just enough head to shut ya up and my favorite C: the women that want nothing more than to suck a dick."
  • (Chris Rock) "You think the government is gonna cure AIDS? NOO. They can't even cure athlete's foot."
  • (Chris Rock) "A bunch of girls think that you don't need no man to raise no child. Shut the f*** up with the bulls***. Yeah, you can do it without a man, but it don't mean it's to be done. s***. You can drive a car with your feet if you want to; it don't mean it's a good f***ing idea."
  • (Chris Rock) "What does daddy get for his hard work? The big piece of chicken at dinner. My mamma would kill us if one of us ate the big piece of chicken by accident."
  • (Chris Rock) "What the -- you ate the big piece of chicken. Oh, lord no. Now I gotta sew up some chicken. Give me two wings and a porkchop, daddy won't know the difference."
  • (Chris Rock) "When I was a kid, that's all we had was Robitussin. Whatever you got, Robitussin better handle it. I broke my leg once, daddy poured Robitussin all over it."
  • (Chris Rock) "Yeah, boy. Let that 'tussin get in there. Let that 'tussin go down to the bone. If you run out of it, put some water in the jar, shake it up, more 'tussin. MORE 'TUSSIN."
  • (Chris Rock) "The most racist people are old black men. He went through real racism back them. He couldn't go through that "I-can't-get-a-cab" thing. Back then, he WAS the cab. A white man jump on his back, "Main Street.""
  • (Police Officer) "Good evening, sir. How are you doing?"
  • (Black Man) "What's what? What?"
  • (Police Officer) "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
  • (Black Man) "Yeah, 'cuz I'm a black man, motherf***er. Now, if I was a white bitch with some big-ass titties, you let me go."
  • (Police Officer) "Very good, sir. Maybe you're right. But I just wanted to let you know, your license plate is a little loose."
  • (Black Man) "Oh, man, bulls***. Man, that's bulls***. You just mad at me 'cuz I'm rolling this bug-eyed Benz, bitch."
  • (Police Officer) "I love German cars. I love Benzes. It's just, the license plate's a little crooked. That's all, come on."
  • (Black Man) "Hey, f*** that, man. Y'all took the street. I ain't got time for this s***."
  • (Police Officer) "Hey, hey, hey. I'm gonna let you go. I just need your registration, that's all."
  • (Black Man) "I ain't got no registration, no proof of insurance, no nothing, no baby seat, I ain't got my seatbelt on, all I got is a motherf***ing receipt."
  • (Police Officer) "Oh, you don't need any of that. Just drive safely and have a good night."
  • (Chris Rock) "I took the AIDS test -- passed it -- with a 65. Now, the scary thing about the AIDS test is that when you take it, you don't get the results back for FIIIVVEE days, and in those five days you start reflectin'. You start reflectin' on every single piece of dirty, disgusting little sex you've ever had. Oh my God, 1993, what the f*** was I thinkin'? Then, you start callin' people up to see if they still alive."
  • (Chris Rock) "Yeah, hello, is Stacy there? "This is Stacy." CLICK. Hello, is Tammy there? "Oh, Tammy dead." Well, what happened? " -- she got hit by a bus." OH, THANK THE LORD."
  • (Chris Rock) "Guys, have you ever been with your lady in bed and you both talkin' dirty then you say somethin' that got you kicked out of bed. Where the woman's like "f*** me. Harder, harder, harder. f*** me daddy. f*** me. f*** me. Spank me. f*** me." "Alright, ya ho." "Who're you callin' a ho? Who da f*** are you callin' a ho? Untie me.""
  • (Chris Rock) "Do you know how dumb you got to be to get left back in the first grade? It's like, what's four plus four? Jell-O."
  • (Chris Rock) "Hillary Clinton's the first lady. She should've been the first one on her knees to suck Bill's dick."
  • (Chris Rock) "Cracka'. Cracka'-ass cracka'."
  • (Chris Rock) "When I was a kid, I had to be near death to see a doctor, so my daddy got into the habit of putting Robitussin on everything, and I mean EVERYTHING."
  • (Chris Rock) "Daddy, I got asthma. "Well here, take some Robitussin." Daddy, I got cancer. "Here, take some Robitussin." Daddy, I broke my leg. "Here, put some Robitussin on it -- that's right, let the Robitussin sink in there.""

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