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Bitch Slap Quotes

Bitch Slap is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . Bitch Slap ended in 1970.

It features Eric Gruendemann as producer, John R. Graham (composer) in charge of musical score, and Stuart Asbjornsen as head of cinematography.

Bitch Slap is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Bitch Slap is 109 minutes long. Bitch Slap is distributed by Freestyle Releasing.

The cast includes: America Olivo as Camero, Erin Cummings as Hel, Julia Voth as Trixie, Michael Hurst as Gage, Ron Melendez as Deputy Fuchs, Renee O'Connor as Sister Batrill, and Lucy Lawless as Mother Superior.

Bitch Slap Quotes

America Olivo as Camero

  • (America Olivo) "f*** you, joyride."
  • (America Olivo) "I'm going to sleigh ride your sorry ass once and for all."
  • (America Olivo) "She's black hair, blonde box, Hel."
  • (America Olivo) "That's it pop tart. I'm gonna dog-pound you straight to China."
  • (America Olivo) "Shut up, ax wound."
  • (America Olivo) "The women's movement will hoist my skirt for all eternity."
  • (America Olivo) "I'm gonna enjoy beating seven shades of s*** outta both of you."
  • (America Olivo) "I'm gonna booty-bang bitch slap your f***ing ass until you're just this side of salvage. Then I'm gonna ram-ride girly's show tits asunder before I plow both of you bitches under."
  • (America Olivo) "So long, limp dick."
  • (America Olivo) "Come on. Fight me."
  • (Julia Voth) "I'm too weak and vulnerable."
  • (America Olivo) "Fine. If you're not gonna fight, then you're gonna f***."
  • (America Olivo) "God f***ing dammit --"
  • (Lucy Lawless) "Sister Prudence Bangtail. Well, this is the last straw."
  • (America Olivo) "Save it, Crusty, I'm vapor. This place bites anyway."
  • (America Olivo) "The bitch is back, baby."
  • (America Olivo) "Prepare to come about bitch."
  • (America Olivo) "That's two you owe me, Blow White."
  • (America Olivo) "You're -- her? You're my best lay ever?"
  • (Julia Voth) "Surprise --"

Renee O'Connor as Sister Batrill

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Julia Voth as Trixie

  • (Julia Voth) "Whoa. Looks like Gage was ready for war."
  • (Erin Cummings) "K-14 Corsair rail gun -- carbon fiber mounts -- hellfire damping system -- and Zion laser scope. This is some serious and classified hardware."
  • (Julia Voth) "How do you know all that?"
  • (Erin Cummings) "Uh -- my father was a part of the CIA's Ghost Recon Group in the '80s."
  • (Julia Voth) "My God, they're gonna lock us up forever."
  • (America Olivo) "Shut up, ax wound."
  • (Julia Voth) "You shut up."
  • (America Olivo) "What did you say?"
  • (Erin Cummings) "Back off, Camero."
  • (America Olivo) "No. Why don't you let Gland Canyon stick up for herself?"
  • (Julia Voth) "Oh my God, you could have shot me."
  • (America Olivo) "But I didn't."
  • (Julia Voth) "You're crazy."
  • (America Olivo) "You're welcome."
  • (Julia Voth) "You know, I've been thinking --"
  • (America Olivo) "Christ."
  • (Julia Voth) "Is stealing from a criminal any better than just being a criminal?"
  • (America Olivo) "I got a better one for you, Princess. What's the most outrageous place you've ever been key-holed?"
  • (Julia Voth) "Why do you wanna know?"
  • (America Olivo) "Just curious. It says a lot about a woman."
  • (Julia Voth) "Hmm. Either a bumper-car three-way with some guy and girl at the Redlands County Fair, or -- on top of a horse-drawn buggy in Amish country with Jakey Stalfoos."
  • (America Olivo) "Hel?"
  • (Erin Cummings) "Let's have a little less chit-chat and a lot more digging, huh?"
  • (America Olivo) "I'm gonna grind those secrets out of you one day, Hel."
  • (Erin Cummings) "I don't have any secrets."
  • (Julia Voth) "Well, what about you, Camero?"
  • (America Olivo) "My best bang was a contortionist out behind the freak show tent at Circus Nudeius. I couldn't stand straight for days. Never did get her name --"
  • (Julia Voth) "Oh, my God. You're a wicked-cool covert operative masquerading as a sex-toy tycoon?"
  • (Erin Cummings) "Mm-hmm. My mission was retrieve that -- a weaponized vial of synthetic nano-swarm that Gage hijacked from a CIA convoy. It's filled with trillions of self-replicating robo-viruses that latch onto any living organism and suck the carbon out -- 'til you, me, even the cockroaches are nothing more than gray goo."
  • (Julia Voth) " N --"
  • (America Olivo) "What?"
  • (Julia Voth) "Gage wrote it on a photograph; some kind of desert picture from space."
  • (America Olivo) "And what good does that do us?"
  • (Erin Cummings) "They may be vector co-ordinates. You're sure about those numbers?"
  • (Julia Voth) "I'm positive. I have a photo-journalistic memory."
  • (Julia Voth) "Well, this is America. She -- she's sexy and loaded, and has high-powered connections."
  • (Julia Voth) "We read that we ought to forgive our enemies; but we do not read --"
  • (Julia Voth) "What can I say? We're all just bitches in the end."
  • (Julia Voth) "Don't tell me you don't want some of what I'm sellin. I'm gonna get you wet."
  • (Julia Voth) "A girl's gotta get her jollies somehow. Oh -- and I really get off on watching girls fight. You guys were awesome."

Michael Hurst as Gage

  • (Michael Hurst) "You take orders better than a Bangkok bum boy."
  • (Michael Hurst) "Well, well, well. Hiding out in a convent? Impersonating a nun? Juggling p***** in a pornographic circus? Oh, that is tasteless, even for you, Camero."
  • (Michael Hurst) "Right-o, lads, don't be afraid to use excessive force on this one."
  • (Michael Hurst) "I love Home Depot -- Now listen here, you f***ing slag. I have a reputation for being very persuasive. And I know you're a virtuoso with them throat muscles. So you'd better start spilling; or I'm gonna send Thaddeus here right up your chutney tube."
  • (Michael Hurst) "That's it, show us your grabber."
  • (Julia Voth) "You like that?"
  • (Michael Hurst) "Yeah, Daddy likes --"
  • (Julia Voth) "Try this one on for size."
  • (Michael Hurst) "f***in' hell."
  • (Julia Voth) "I call that move "shock and awe.""
  • (Michael Hurst) "Oh God -- I've never felt this way about a gash before."
  • (Julia Voth) "Oh. You are so sweet."
  • (Michael Hurst) "Oh, and you're decent and pure, and I love you. Now why don't we tie a knot, bump uglies, and ride the pork bus to Tuna City?"
  • (Michael Hurst) "Blow me, you psycho rug-muncher."
  • (Michael Hurst) "Who the f*** are you? Aside from one tasty little minge I'd like to slam like a screen door?"

Erin Cummings as Hel

  • (Erin Cummings) "Ram this in your clam bake, bitch cake."
  • (Erin Cummings) "Open wide psycho slut."
  • (America Olivo) "Lube my boob skank twat."
  • (Erin Cummings) "I'm through being Foxy 69. But you can't just walk away from Flesh Force Foxy with a wink and a hi-dee-ho."

Ron Melendez as Deputy Fuchs

  • (Ron Melendez) "You aren't supposed to be out here. Government used to test nukes. Stay too long, and you'll grow a third eye."
  • (Ron Melendez) "How, uh -- how did you ladies end up out here anyway?"
  • (Erin Cummings) "Well, Officer, it's "quite" a story. See, my sisters and I are members of the Sacred Girls Virgin Choir out in Sand Dab, Arizona. We were supposed to perform a cantata today out in Mojave. Since we were so far from home, the local parish director kindly suggested that we stay as his guests. Well, after we were all snuggled into our one little bed for the night, we heard loud music and laughter coming from outside. We peeked our heads out, only to discover the entire congregation dancing and -- and laughing, and smoking something that may not have been tobacco. They tried to fondle our num-nums, and even convinced Bambi Lynn here to shoot Communion wafers out of her -- Anyway, we got out and ran to our car, but they chased us. Well, thank the Lord that Cheyenne here can drive and Bambi Lynn can gyrate because we lost, 'em. By then, well, it was after 3:00 a.m. and -- and dark. And we were scared. And someone's not very good with directions. And -- well, we ended up here. And now, if you can belive it, our car is dead."
  • (Ron Melendez) "I see."
  • (Erin Cummings) "We tried to jump her, but we just couldn't get her off. That's why we're all dirty -- and desperate. You must think the worst of us."

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