Blades of Glory Quotes

Blades of Glory is a TV show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Blades of Glory stopped airing in 1970.

It features John Jacobs; Ben Stiller; Stuart Cornfeld as producer, Theodore Shapiro (composer) in charge of musical score, and Stefan Czapsky as head of cinematography.

Blades of Glory is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Blades of Glory is 93 minutes long. Blades of Glory is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Jon Heder as Jimmy, Craig T. Nelson as Coach, Will Ferrell as Chazz, Nick Swardson as Hector, Rob Corddry as Bryce, Amy Poehler as Fairchild Van Waldenberg, Will Arnett as Stranz Van Waldenberg, Craig T. Nelson as Co-Anchor, Jenna Fischer as Katie Van Waldenberg, William Fichtner as Darren MacElroy, and Jon Heder as Sam.

Blades of Glory Quotes

Will Ferrell as Chazz

• (Will Ferrell) "Let's get outta here."
• (Jon Heder) "Now?"
• (Will Ferrell) "Yeah."

• (Will Ferrell) "Mind-bottling, isn't it?"
• (Jon Heder) "Did you just say mind-bottling?"
• (Will Ferrell) "Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?"

• (Will Ferrell) "I don't want to close my eyes, don't want to fall asleep cause I miss you Jimmy, and I don't wanna miss a thing."

• (Will Ferrell) "I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bear. It's a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything."

• (Will Ferrell) "Don't make me kill her."

• (Will Ferrell) "You're living in the past, Sammi. Me and the Woodland Fairies, we're living in the HERE and NOW."

• (Will Ferrell) "Chazz Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy are figure skating."
• (Will Ferrell) "Boom."

• (Will Ferrell) "This guy could not hold my jock sweat."
• (Jon Heder) "I could hold it all day long, try me."
• (Will Ferrell) "Maybe I will."
• (Jon Heder) "Maybe you should."
• (Will Ferrell) "You challenging me, princess?"
• (Jon Heder) "I'm not inviting you to the Skating Federation's annual Christmas party."
• (Will Ferrell) "Then bring it on."
• (Jon Heder) "It is on."

• (Will Ferrell) "SNOWBALL."

• (Will Ferrell) "I swear to God, if you cut my head off --"

• (Will Ferrell) "You know this is how I rolled when you met me."
• (Jon Heder) "No, when I met you, you were a great figure skater. Now you're just getting stoned with the Woodland Fairies."

• (Will Ferrell) "I hate my life."

• (Will Ferrell) "I'm a sex addict and I'm attracted to women."

• (Will Ferrell) "Whoever invented rope was a real a-hole."

• (Will Ferrell) "The night is a very dark time for me."
• (Jon Heder) "It's dark for everyone, moron."
• (Will Ferrell) "Not for Alaskans or dudes with night-vision goggles."

• (Will Ferrell) "Eat THAT, MacElroy."
• (Jon Heder) "Those were the same scores I got, Einstein. We're tied."
• (Will Ferrell) "You're high."

• (Will Ferrell) "What're you, the rug doctor?"
• (Jon Heder) "Maybe I am."
• (Will Ferrell) "Well, I'm the rug MASTER."
• (Jon Heder) "What does that even mean?"

• (Will Ferrell) "You're welcome Stockholm."

• (Will Ferrell) "I hope you've brought your silver polish, MacElroy, 'cause that was gold."
• (Jon Heder) "That was disgusting."
• (Will Ferrell) "THAT, young man, is how babies are made."

• (Will Ferrell) "Hey. Hey, you little forest creatures. None of you sons of bitches try to be heroes."
• (Will Ferrell) "I just threw up in here, people. That's the reality. Just another layer to the legend. I am nothing but a human onion. In fact, we all a -- Ugh, encore."

• (Will Ferrell) "I think I see the Virgin Mary."
• (Jon Heder) "No, that's not her."

• (Will Ferrell) "Thank you Denver, The City by the Bay John Denver."

• (Will Ferrell) "And that's why I was a sex addict because no one ever loved me, but I learned something here today, that ice it doesn't belong in here"
• (Will Ferrell) "it belongs out there, out on the ice, in an ice rink. I never had a father okay, but I don't care because now I've got a brother"
• (Will Ferrell) ", this is my brother"
• (Will Ferrell) "and this is my brothers new girlfriend and she is not a whore. I'm in a lot of pain I think I'm gonna barf."
• (Jon Heder) "Chazz, Chazz they gotta get you to a hospital."
• (Will Ferrell) "What, no and miss the smell of sweet gold not on your life."

• (Will Ferrell) "Throw me some chicken."

• (Will Ferrell) "Better step aside homeschool, there's a new Sheriff in town."

• (Female Sex Addict/Rinkside Nurse) "Are you okay? I'm gonna have to cut your pants off"
• (Will Ferrell) "Start up near the crotch. Its a better access point."

• (Will Ferrell) "Personal philosophy? Clothing optional."

• (Will Ferrell) "Hey, everyone. This is Gary the squirrel. Now, listen up, Gary's been a long time friend. We've been skating for -- two and a half years. i remember when we were hanging out near a bus stop in Tucson, He said "Hey, I've got a third ball""
• (Will Ferrell) "I just threw up in here people."

• (Will Ferrell) "It makes my hair shine like Orion's Belt out on the ice."

• (Will Ferrell) "If we went to a Halloween party dressed as Batman and Robin, I'd go as Robin. That's how much you mean to me --"

• (Will Ferrell) "She's as cold as the ice she skates on. She's like dry ice. No, wait. She's colder than that. What's colder than dry ice?"
• (Jon Heder) "I don't know"
• (Will Ferrell) "I'll tell you what is, Oksana."

• (Will Ferrell) "Let's capture the dream."
• (Jon Heder) "Capture the-wow I love it. Where'd you come up with that?"
• (Will Ferrell) "I have no idea where I came up with that."
• (Jon Heder) "Cool."
• (Will Ferrell) "Let's kick some ice."

• (Will Ferrell) "Nancy Kerrigan. You an official here? Cause you've officially given me a boner."

• (Will Ferrell) "Oh, bring it on. Let it rain down on me."

• (Will Ferrell) "I see you have learned to work the Google on the internet machine."

• (Will Ferrell) "But I remember Boston, and that victory was as sweet as the cream pie for which the town was named."

• (Will Ferrell) "Troubled childhood? If you consider a 9 year old kid with a 35 year old girlfriend troubled."

• (Will Ferrell) "Hey, Jimmy. Hey, it's me, Chazz. Look, what happened back there; so not a big deal. Just think of it as, like a, boob handshake; between me and your lady's boob. Look, that's not coming out right, I'll explain it. Call me back. Please, it's me, Chazz."

• (Will Ferrell) "Ahh, my nutsack."

• (Will Ferrell) "Help yourself to the Mane n' Tail all you want, but don't even look at the Verticoli --"

• (Jon Heder) "Was the fire really necessary?"
• (Will Ferrell) "Ask THEM."

• (Will Ferrell) "You know what dude, your hand has to be on top."
• (Jon Heder) "No way, the girl's goes on top."
• (Will Ferrell) "Yeah, ergo, chick."
• (Jon Heder) "I'm not the girl, I'm stronger."
• (Will Ferrell) "No, I'M stronger, and don't have a vagina."

• (Will Ferrell) "We love you Denver. City by the Bay."

Craig T. Nelson as Coach

• (Craig T. Nelson) "You getting a lot of satisfaction from those 15 dollar hookers?"
• (Will Ferrell) "I am NEVER satisfied. It's a curse."

• (Craig T. Nelson) "Figure skating? Give it up, Jimmy. It's like a cruel bitch mother."

• (Craig T. Nelson) "All right, this is gonna stop right now. From here on out, you guys are a team. Do you understand? You are going to eat together, sleep together, you are going to pee together, you're gonna file a joint income tax return; practice starts now. End of discussion."

• (Craig T. Nelson) "Jimmy may be renowned for his personal hygiene, Scott, but after that performance, he's starting to reek -- Of gold."

• (Craig T. Nelson) "The only skater to win four national championships and an adult film award."

• (Craig T. Nelson) "What do you guys have that all other teams don't have?"
• (Will Ferrell) "Twin dongs?"

• (Craig T. Nelson) "You're the girl."
• (Jon Heder) "What?"
• (Will Ferrell) "You're my pretty lady, MacElroy."
• (Jon Heder) "Wait, why?"
• (Craig T. Nelson) "Because you whine like one."
• (Craig T. Nelson) "And no one can lift your fat ass, you're on a diet starting now."

• (Craig T. Nelson) "Chazz Michael Michaels: an ice-devouring sex tornado."

• (Craig T. Nelson) "Alright, ladies. Tea party's over. We got two days 'til Montreal. I want to see an Iron Lotus."

• (Craig T. Nelson) "These two put the "bone" in Zamboni."

Will Arnett as Stranz Van Waldenberg

• (Will Arnett) "Not only did we embarrass Marky Mark, we let down the Funky Bunch."

• (Will Arnett) "It makes my blood boil."
• (Amy Poehler) "You know I'm not a violent person. But I would like to hold them down and skate over their throats."

• (Will Arnett) "No, Katie, come back, we love you and stuff --"

• (Will Arnett) "It's over. All the endorsements, everything gone. Oh my God, I can't get a real job; it'll kill me."

• (Will Arnett) "Those two are nothing but a couple of freaks."

• (Will Arnett) "Remember how they used to be alive?"

• (Will Arnett) "Who's gonna save you now, Chazz? Is Little Lord MacLeroy gonna come and meet ya down here?"

Jenna Fischer as Katie Van Waldenberg

• (Jenna Fischer) "Great. That'll give me time to get my jugs waxed."

• (Jenna Fischer) "No, I'm not spying for you again."
• (Will Arnett) "We're just asking you to discreetly tape their practice routines."

• (Jenna Fischer) "No. I'm not gonna make Chazz Michael Michaels fall in love with me."
• (Amy Poehler) "Who's talking about love? We just want you to have sex with him."
• (Jenna Fischer) "What? No. I am not going to have sex with Chazz."
• (Will Arnett) "Come on, Katie. Do the honorable thing here."

Jon Heder as Jimmy

• (Jon Heder) "I just put them in order."

• (Jon Heder) "You ruined my dreams."
• (Will Ferrell) "Dreams? s***, I haven't had one of those in years."
• (Jon Heder) "Zip it Chazz, just zip it, or I'll punch you in your crap-lousy face."
• (Will Ferrell) "Hey, this ends tonight."
• (Jon Heder) "It's daytime, you douche."

• (Jon Heder) "So, Coach, I was thinking about the music for our routine."
• (Craig T. Nelson) "Oh, really?"
• (Will Ferrell) "We're gonna dance to one song, and one song only: "Lady Humps" by the Blackeyed Peas. "What you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk? I'm a get you, get you drunk, get you drunk off my lady humps, my humps, my humps, my lovely lady humps.""
• (Jon Heder) "I'm not skating to anything with references to lady humps. I don't even know what that means."
• (Will Ferrell) "No one knows what it means, but it's provocative --"
• (Jon Heder) "No, it's not, it's gross --"
• (Will Ferrell) "-- It gets the people going."

• (Jon Heder) "They're laughing at us."
• (Will Ferrell) "Hey. They laughed at Louis Armstrong when he said he was gonna go to the moon. Now he's up there, laughing at them."

• (Jon Heder) "Watch my icy hot super slide."
• (Will Ferrell) "Do it."

• (Jon Heder) "Get out of my face."
• (Will Ferrell) "I'll get inside your face."

• (Jon Heder) "I don't share rooms."
• (Will Ferrell) "I don't share s***."
• (Will Ferrell) "The night is a very dark time for me --"
• (Jon Heder) "It's dark for everyone, moron."
• (Will Ferrell) "Not for Alaskans or dudes with night vision goggles."

• (Jon Heder) "I like your -- buttons."

• (Jon Heder) "Hey, It's Jimmy. if you can dream it, you can do it."

• (Jon Heder) "You're so fat."

• (Jon Heder) "I've never fallen in a competition before. Just take my hand and we can get through this."

• (Jon Heder) "I've been your son for 26 years."
• (William Fichtner) "22, so no one can say I didn't try."

• (Jon Heder) "Y-y-y-you sex demon. You sex fiend."
• (Will Ferrell) "This isn't what it looks like."
• (Jon Heder) "Impure. Impure."
• (Jenna Fischer) "Jimmy, wait."
• (Will Ferrell) "Brother man."

• (Jon Heder) "Who's that?"
• (Will Ferrell) "You mean Katie van Waldenberg?"
• (Jon Heder) "She's Stranz and Fairchild's sister?"
• (Will Ferrell) "Fairchild's legs and Stranz's ass."

• (Jon Heder) "I call top."
• (Will Ferrell) "Sorry, I already called it in my head --"
• (Jon Heder) "No, you can't do that, that doesn't count."
• (Will Ferrell) "Yes it does."

• (Jon Heder) "When I was nine, my dad insisted on having me circumcised to minimize wind resistance."

• (Jon Heder) "I see you got FAT."
• (Will Ferrell) "I see you still look like a fifteen year old girl, but not hot."

William Fichtner as Darren MacElroy

• (William Fichtner) "They may look cute and innocent, but they're nothing but a beehive for germs and bacteria."

• (William Fichtner) "Banned for life. That's a long time."

• (William Fichtner) "You're fired."
• (Craig T. Nelson) "What? I got him a Gold Medal."
• (William Fichtner) "No, you got him half a Gold Medal. If I wanted him to share, I would have gotten him a brother."

• (William Fichtner) "I'm un-adopting you."
• (Jon Heder) "What?"
• (William Fichtner) "Well, legally I'm disowning you."

Nick Swardson as Hector

• (Nick Swardson) "Oh, I'm still going to kill you someday."

• (Nick Swardson) "Look, I almost gave up on you. I started working with that Ukrainian skater, you know, the one who looks like Elvis? And I moved to the Ukraine, and it was cold and everyone had guns and smelled like soup."

• (Nick Swardson) "It's embarrassing stalking a has-been."

• (Nick Swardson) "I totally want to cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday -- It's coming up --"

• (Nick Swardson) "I sent you a cup of my blood. Did you get my blood?"

• (Nick Swardson) "He likes food and dreams and whispers -- his favorite movie is Short Circuit -- and Fried Green Tomatoes."

• (Nick Swardson) "I wanna wear the gold medal -- naked."

Amy Poehler as Fairchild Van Waldenberg

• (Sports Anchor) "And how heavy is that gold around your necks?"
• (Amy Poehler) "Scott, this may be solid gold, but to us it's lighter than air, because dreams never weigh you down."
• (Will Arnett) "No. Dreams are in your sleep."

• (Amy Poehler) "Nothing breaks up a team faster than --"
• (Will Arnett) "Herpes. Uh -- jealousy."

• (Amy Poehler) "No, say you want a snowbone."

Rob Corddry as Bryce

• (Rob Corddry) "Are you drunk?"
• (Will Ferrell) "No, but this oughta do it"
• (Rob Corddry) "I'd fire you -- if you weren't so god**** beautiful out there."
• (Rob Corddry) "You smell like urine."
• (Will Ferrell) "A lot?"

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