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Bullets over Broadway Quotes

Bullets over Broadway is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Bullets over Broadway stopped airing in 1970.

It features Robert Greenhut, Letty Aronson, Jacqui Safra, Jean Doumanian, Charles H. Joffe, and Jack Rollins as producer, and Carlo Di Palma as head of cinematography.

Bullets over Broadway is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Bullets over Broadway is 98 minutes long. Bullets over Broadway is distributed by Miramax Films.

The cast includes: Stacey Nelkin as Rita, Chazz Palminteri as Cheech, Jennifer Tilly as Olive, Harvey Fierstein as Sid Loomis, Dianne Wiest as Helen Sinclair, Joe Viterelli as Nick, John Cusack as David Shayne, Rob Reiner as Sheldon Flender, Jack Warden as Julian Marx, Tracey Ullman as Eden Brent, and Jim Broadbent as Warner Purcell.

Bullets over Broadway Quotes

Dianne Wiest as Helen Sinclair

  • (Dianne Wiest) "You stand on the brink of greatness. The world will open to you like an oyster. No -- not like an oyster. The world will open to you like a magnificent vagina."
  • (Dianne Wiest) "Two martinis please, very dry."
  • (John Cusack) "How'd you know what I drank?"
  • (Dianne Wiest) "Oh, you want one too? Three."
  • (Dianne Wiest) "No, no, don't speak. Don't speak. Please don't speak. Please don't speak. No. No. No. Go. Go, gentle Scorpio, go. Your Pisces wishes you every happy return."
  • (John Cusack) "Just one --"
  • (Dianne Wiest) "Don't speak."
  • (Dianne Wiest) "Oh, Julian. Julian Marx. I do plays put on by Balasco, or Sam Harris, not some Yiddish pant salesman turned producer. My ex-husband used to say, "If you're gonna go down, go down with the best of them.""
  • (Harvey Fierstein) "Which ex-husband?"
  • (Dianne Wiest) "Oh, I don't know which ex-husband. The one with the moustache."
  • (Dianne Wiest) "She's perky all right. She makes you want to sneak up behind her with a pillow and suffocate her."
  • (Dianne Wiest) "Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging."
  • (Dianne Wiest) "I'm still a star. I never play frumps or virgins."

Tracey Ullman as Eden Brent

  • (Tracey Ullman) "There you are. Mr. Purcell, you have been stealing our dog yummies and eating them."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Absolutely not. That's an outrageous suggestion."
  • (Tracey Ullman) "Then let me see in your pockets."
  • (Jim Broadbent) "Would I eat dog food?"
  • (Tracey Ullman) "You'd eat anything that didn't eat you first, you big fat pot of helium."
  • (Tracey Ullman) "Congratulations. It finally has balls."
  • (Tracey Ullman) "Oh, you needn't bother with that because I breast feed her."
  • (Tracey Ullman) "Just KIDDING."

Jennifer Tilly as Olive

  • (Jennifer Tilly) "Can't you see? You're living out the exact same pattern your mother lived out with your father."
  • (Chazz Palminteri) "I am? Pray tell."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "In some way you're trying to relive it and in the process of reliving it, correct it. As if that were possible. HA."
  • (Chazz Palminteri) "It don't say "ha.""
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "I know it don't say "ha," I added that."
  • (Chazz Palminteri) "Are you allowed to do that? I don't think you're allowed to do that."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "We're allowed to add things. It's called ad-libbing."
  • (Chazz Palminteri) "Well, I think the whole thing stinks."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "Well, I think you're a degenerate zombie so shut up and read."
  • (Chazz Palminteri) "You shut up."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "You shut up and read."
  • (Chazz Palminteri) "you're lucky you're Nick's girl."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "You're lucky you're an idiot."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "Hey, didn't I tell you to make "horse durves"?"
  • (Unnamed) "I don't make nothin' out of horses, especially "horse durves", 'cause I don't know what they are, and neither do you."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "Oh, aren't you the big mouth since you hit your number."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "And I said the imported stuff."
  • (Unnamed) "The imported stuff ate through the bottle. It's gone."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "A likely story."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "It's very hard to get good help these days."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "I notice you have a really big appetite."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "Don't tell me you still think the world revolves around --"
  • (Stage Manager) "You."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "-- you."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "Ain't you the big mouth since you hit your number."

Harvey Fierstein as Sid Loomis

  • (Harvey Fierstein) "You're a star because you're great and you are a great star, but let me tell you something, Helen. In the last couple of years you're better known as an adulteress and a drunk. And I say this in all due respect."
  • (Dianne Wiest) "Look, I haven't had a drink since New Year's Eve."
  • (Harvey Fierstein) "You're talking Chinese New Year's."
  • (Dianne Wiest) "Naturally. Still, that's two days, Sid. You know how long that is for me?"
  • (Harvey Fierstein) "It's a little idea she's wanted to do for years. She plays Jesus' mother."
  • (Partygoer) "Oh."
  • (Harvey Fierstein) "It's a whole Oedipal thing; he loves her, wants to do in the father. Well, you can see the complications. Of course, we're talking to Ira Gershwin about a modern musical version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. "Quasimodo Jones.""
  • (Partygoer) "Helen has such a-a-a -- a new vitality. Even her face looks so smooth."
  • (Harvey Fierstein) "I know. The monkey glands are working."
  • (Harvey Fierstein) "He's working on a vehicle for Helen for next season. She plays Jesus' mother. It's a whole Oedipul thing. He loves her -- wants to do in the father -- well you can see the complications."

Rob Reiner as Sheldon Flender

  • (Rob Reiner) "You, you, you're all missing the point, the point is I can give pleasure many times a day."
  • (Stacey Nelkin) "Oh, now, really Flender, what does quantity got to do with it?"
  • (Rob Reiner) "Quantity, quantity affects quality."
  • (John Cusack) "Says who?"
  • (Rob Reiner) "Karl Marx."
  • (Stacey Nelkin) "Oh, so now we're talking economics."
  • (Rob Reiner) "Sex is economics."
  • (Rob Reiner) "Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?"

Jim Broadbent as Warner Purcell

  • (Jim Broadbent) "Get out of my trousers, you horrid woman."

Joe Viterelli as Nick

  • (Joe Viterelli) "Let's avoid confusion. She'll get some lines, or I'll nail your knee caps to the floor."
  • (Joe Viterelli) "Open your gift."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "You open it, can't you see I'm dressing?"
  • (Joe Viterelli) "Here."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "What is it?"
  • (Joe Viterelli) "Pearls. What the hell do you think they are?"
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "Pearls are white."
  • (Joe Viterelli) "These are black pearls."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "Oh, don't give me that. I never heard of black pearls."
  • (Joe Viterelli) "Just becaus you never heard of them don't mean it don't exist."
  • (Jennifer Tilly) "What do think I am, some kind of chump? They're black for God's sake. They probably came from defective oysters."
  • (Joe Viterelli) "Sorry you guys had to hear that. Some problems with the firm."
  • (John Cusack) "Really? What type of firm is it, Nick?"
  • (Joe Viterelli) "It's a "don't stick your nose in other people's business and it won't get broken" type of firm."

Chazz Palminteri as Cheech

  • (Chazz Palminteri) "Olive, I think you should know this: you're a horrible actress."
  • (Chazz Palminteri) "It stinks on f***ing hot ice."
  • (Chazz Palminteri) "Sylvia Pincus. Big fat Jewish broad, had a little tiny husband. She chopped him up with an ax and mailed his pieces all over the country. I don't know what she was tryin' to prove."
  • (Chazz Palminteri) "She can't act. Are you listening to me? She makes stuff not work; stuff she ain't even in; it comes out all twisted."
  • (Chazz Palminteri) "Where I come from, nobody squeals."
  • (Chazz Palminteri) "No. Don't speak."

John Cusack as David Shayne

  • (John Cusack) "You're gonna write it?"
  • (Chazz Palminteri) "What am I? A f***in' idiot? They taught me how to read and write in school before I burned it down."
  • (John Cusack) "You burned down your school?"
  • (Chazz Palminteri) "Yeah, it was Lincoln's birthday. There was nobody there."
  • (John Cusack) "You thought my first draft was c-cerebral and tepid?"
  • (Dianne Wiest) "Only the plot and the dialogue. But this --"
  • (John Cusack) "Was-was-was there nothing in the original draft that you feel was worth saving?"
  • (Dianne Wiest) "The stage directions were lucid. Best I've ever seen -- and the color of the binder. Good choice."
  • (John Cusack) "Thank you. I've always had a flair for stage directions."
  • (John Cusack) "I've become involved with Helen Sinclair, and I feel terrible. But I can't help myself. She's so charismatic, and she's brilliant and beautiful. I mean, a real artist, and, and we speak the same language."
  • (Rob Reiner) "You're wracked with guilt."
  • (John Cusack) "I'm wracked with guilt."
  • (Rob Reiner) "You're wracked with guilt. You are wracked with guilt."
  • (John Cusack) "I don't know whether -- I can't sleep."
  • (Rob Reiner) "Guilt is petit-bourgeois crap. An artist creates his own moral universe."
  • (John Cusack) "I know that. I know --"
  • (Rob Reiner) "Well? What is the problem then? I'm gonna give you some advice. The same advice that was given to me many years ago when I had a very similar dilemma."
  • (John Cusack) "Similar to mine. To --"
  • (Rob Reiner) "Yes. Yes."
  • (John Cusack) "What did you do? What?"
  • (Rob Reiner) "You gotta do what you gotta do."
  • (John Cusack) "Suddenly I'm taking suggestions from some strong-arm man with an IQ of minus 50."
  • (John Cusack) "I studied playrighting with every teacher, I read every book --"
  • (Chazz Palminteri) "Let me tell you somethin' about teachers. I hate teachers. Those blue-haired bitches used to whack us with rulers. Forget teachers."
  • (Lord Chafee) "My tongue is hanging out to present it on the London stage."
  • (John Cusack) "London."
  • (Lord Chafee) "Look at his face, Helen. You're going to be the toast of Broadway. Why not the West End, hmm?"

Stacey Nelkin as Rita

  • (Stacey Nelkin) "For me, love is very deep, sex only has to go a few inches."

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