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Cannonball Run II Quotes

Cannonball Run II is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . Cannonball Run II ended its run in 1970.

It features Albert S. Ruddy as producer, Al Capps in charge of musical score, and Nick McLean as head of cinematography.

Cannonball Run II is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Cannonball Run II is 108 minutes long. Cannonball Run II is distributed by Warner Bros..

The cast includes: Burt Reynolds as J.J. McClure, Dean Martin as Blake, Sammy Davis Jr. as Fenderbaum, Ricardo Montalbán as King, Catherine Bach as Marcie, Joe Theismann as Mack, Susan Anton as Jill, Charles Nelson Reilly as Don Canneloni, Henry Silva as Slim, Alex Rocco as Tony, Charles Nelson Reilly as Don Don Canneloni, Telly Savalas as Hymie Kaplan, Richard Kiel as Arnold, Jack Elam as Victor, Abe Vigoda as Caesar, George Lindsey as Uncle Cal, Marilu Henner as Betty, Shirley MacLaine as Veronica, Sammy Davis Jr. as Blake, Fenderbaum, and Michael V. Gazzo as Sonny.

Cannonball Run II Quotes

Charles Nelson Reilly as Don Canneloni

  • (Charles Nelson Reilly) "Hymie Kaplan. What a surprise. Ooh, ohh, wow. You look great. So, what brings you to the Pinto Ranch? Business or pleasure?"
  • (Telly Savalas) "May I have a chair?"
  • (Charles Nelson Reilly) "Oh, certainly."
  • (Charles Nelson Reilly) "Oh. It's business."
  • (Charles Nelson Reilly) "And now, the Rigatonis, the Tortellinis, the Fettuchinis, and even the Raviolis are bigger than we are. And why?"
  • (Alex Rocco) "High interest rates."
  • (Michael V. Gazzo) "Acid rain."
  • (Henry Silva) "Japanese imports."
  • (Abe Vigoda) "Uh -- uh -- none of the above."
  • (Charles Nelson Reilly) "No. No. No. Youse mugs already know the answer."
  • (Abe Vigoda) "Gee, boss, if I knew there was gonna be a test, I would've studied."
  • (Charles Nelson Reilly) "Can I buy you a drink?"
  • (Sammy Davis Jr.) "But of course."
  • (Charles Nelson Reilly) "Cherice? Cherice?"
  • (Charles Nelson Reilly) "Oh, they seem to be so busy."

Burt Reynolds as J.J. McClure

  • (Burt Reynolds) "I need a girl."
  • (Jack Elam) "Yeah, me too."
  • (Burt Reynolds) "You?"
  • (Jack Elam) "Sure. Hey, J.J., I'm not a eunuch, you know."
  • (Burt Reynolds) "Of course you're not a eunuch. Don't put yourself down like that. You have a striking resemblance to a eunuch but --"
  • (Burt Reynolds) "Just kidding."
  • (Burt Reynolds) "What line did you say you were from?"
  • (Marilu Henner) "The Order of Imaculate Chastity."
  • (Jack Elam) "The Order of Imaculate Chastity? I read the bible all the time. In fact, I once read the bible that was printed on the head of a pin. That was hard. But, I've never heard of the Order of Imaculate --"
  • (Shirley MacLaine) "You have to read the New Testament. In fact, it's not even the New Testament. It's the New -- uh --"
  • (Marilu Henner) "New Wave."
  • (Unnamed) "What are you boys trying to pull?"
  • (Burt Reynolds) "There's been a nuclear meltdown and we're transporting some contaminated materials to Connecticut."
  • (Unnamed) "Well, why Connecticut?"
  • (Burt Reynolds) "They ran out."
  • (Unnamed) "J.J -- Long time, no see."
  • (Burt Reynolds) "Nice to see you, Captain Chaos."
  • (Unnamed) "Have no fear, 'Him' is here."

Susan Anton as Jill

  • (Susan Anton) "Aw, come on. It'll be a weekend you'll never forget."
  • (Mechanic) "All three of us?"
  • (Catherine Bach) "It's gonna be a weekend you can tell your kids about. If they're all boys."

Catherine Bach as Marcie

  • (Catherine Bach) "Can you imagine the stories J.J.'s making up about last night? He's driving poor old Victor crazy."
  • (Susan Anton) "Yeah, well poor old Victor's buying every word of it."
  • (Catherine Bach) "Well, what he doesn't know ain't gonna hurt us."
  • (Susan Anton) "Never has."
  • (Catherine Bach) "Does it look bad?"
  • (Joe Theismann) "Not from where I'm standing."
  • (Susan Anton) "Oh, can you fix it then?"
  • (Joe Theismann) "Honey, I've got a tool that'll fix anything."

Dean Martin as Blake

  • (Dean Martin) "We're gonna die. We're gonna die, we're gonna die. What do you think they're gonna do to us?"
  • (Sammy Davis Jr.) "I don't know what they're gonna do to you, but since Mr. T ain't here, I'll be too busy licking their boots to see."
  • (Dean Martin) "Don't you worry, 'cause you know what I'm gonna do?"
  • (Sammy Davis Jr.) "What?"
  • (Dean Martin) "I'm gonna take this car, and I'm gonna turn so that I block the whole highway sideways. And when they come, they're gonna have a choice, either to ditch it, or ram right straight into us."
  • (Sammy Davis Jr.) "Yeah. Yeah. Ditch it or -- ram STRAIGHT INTO US?"
  • (Dean Martin) "Yup."

Sammy Davis Jr. as Blake, Fenderbaum

  • (Sammy Davis Jr.) "It's General Patton and general admission."
  • (Burt Reynolds) "Heckle and Jeckle dressed as cops. They oughta arrest their minds for vagrancy."

Jack Elam as Victor

  • (Jack Elam) "I figured it out. If we do this ten times a day, by the end of the year, we'll be billionaires."
  • (Burt Reynolds) "What is that?"
  • (Jack Elam) "Oh, don't worry about that. It's the Cannonball race. It's on again. A million dollars is the first prize. But don't you worry, we'll be billionaires."
  • (Jack Elam) "What did I say?"
  • (Burt Reynolds) "You want me to do this ten times a day?"
  • (Jack Elam) "Nine?"
  • (Jack Elam) "What a grouch."
  • (Jack Elam) "My Aunt Millie took a vow of chastity. She had headaches allllll the time."

George Lindsey as Uncle Cal

  • (George Lindsey) "Stop it, boy. I told you not to play with the phone."
  • (George Lindsey) "Damn chimp costs me three hundred a month in wrong numbers."
  • (George Lindsey) "Hey. Stop it, you primate. That's it, I've had it with you. 'Scuse me, boys. I need to teach this boy some manners. Hey, son."
  • (George Lindsey) "Now you stepped in it."
  • (George Lindsey) "Boys, I got one condition on your needs. I'm gonna give you the limo, but only if you take this hairy son of a bitch with you."

Ricardo Montalbán as King

  • (Ricardo Montalbán) "How come you have a blond, blue-eyed slave?"
  • (Unnamed) "He's an actor. Hasn't had a series in seven years."
  • (Unnamed) "Nine."
  • (Ricardo Montalbán) "I order you back to America to win the Cannonball Run. I give you one last chance because you are my only son with a driver's license."
  • (Unnamed) "But, Pop, there is no Cannonball Run this year."
  • (Ricardo Montalbán) "So, buy one."

Telly Savalas as Hymie Kaplan

  • (Telly Savalas) "Friend or foe?"
  • (Richard Kiel) "Guess."

Henry Silva as Slim

  • (Henry Silva) "Okay, you'll tell us."
  • (Dean Martin) "We're gonna race to Connecticut and the one that wins gets a million dollars in cash."
  • (Alex Rocco) "Only a moron would back up a race like that."
  • (Unnamed) "Ah, Fenderbaum and Blake. Good to see you. You should be sleeping at this hour. Remember, we leave at noon tomorrow."
  • (Unnamed) "Wingtips? Barbarians. Come, come."
  • (Unnamed) "Buy yourself a decent clothing store. Infidels."
  • (Dean Martin) "That was the moron."
  • (Abe Vigoda) "You know, these liars could be telling the truth."

Alex Rocco as Tony

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