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Captain Ron Quotes

Captain Ron is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . Captain Ron stopped airing in 1970.

It features David Permut as producer, Nicholas Pike in charge of musical score, and Daryn Okada as head of cinematography.

Captain Ron is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Captain Ron is 104 minutes long. Captain Ron is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The cast includes: Meadow Sisto as Caroline Harvey, Kurt Russell as Captain Ron, Martin Short as Martin Harvey, Mary Kay Place as Katherine Harvey, and Dan Butler as Bill Zachary.

Captain Ron Quotes

Kurt Russell as Captain Ron

  • (Kurt Russell) "Captain Ron: A diesel loves her oil same as a sailor loves rum"
  • (Kurt Russell) "It never did fit anyway. Guess you gotta get 'em custom made."
  • (Benjamin Harvey) "All right. They're pirates of the Caribbean, just like you said Captain Ron."
  • (Kurt Russell) "Yeah, squirt. Pirates are easy to deal with. It's the Cuban cops that you gotta worry about. Grand theft auto is a major biggie here in Cuba."
  • (Martin Short) "Grand theft auto? You stole this car?"
  • (Kurt Russell) "Nah, I didn't steal it, boss. I borrowed it. Sort of --"
  • (Kurt Russell) "The boss is right. We should be okay. 'Cause I know we're near land."
  • (Martin Short) "Great, Cap. Great. Ya hear that? We're almost there. Explain to the kids how you know that, Captain Ron. Someone translate for General Armando."
  • (Kurt Russell) "Alright, now stay with me: When we left, we had just enough fuel to make it to San Juan. And now -- we are out of fuel."
  • (Kurt Russell) "Hey swab. C'mere. Listen up. Now, the way it works shipboard is, you do your job. You do it good, you get a better job. Maybe you get promoted from swab to mate."
  • (Kurt Russell) "Alright. Get on it."
  • (Kurt Russell) "Sort've an incentive kind of a deal, huh?"
  • (Martin Short) "Ah. Good."
  • (Kurt Russell) "Yeah, incentives are important. I learned that in rehab."
  • (Kurt Russell) "Alright, that's more like it, now you're talking. You can do it, mates. I've never seen such sailors. Not in all my born days, I ain't. Naturals. My God, everyone of you, naturals --"
  • (Kurt Russell) "We're gonna f***ing die."
  • (Kurt Russell) "Hey. Uh, leg feels a lot better now, boss. I always been a fast healer, you know. 'Course I believe in Jesus, so that helps."
  • (Kurt Russell) "Hey, you wouldn't be trying to cheat Captain Ron there, would you, swab?"
  • (Benjamin Harvey) "Uh, no sir. Uh, so what happened?"
  • (Kurt Russell) "Ah, nothing. They were just playing hide-the-salami in the shower"
  • (Kurt Russell) "Oh, come on, man."
  • (Benjamin Harvey) "What about your other eye?"
  • (Kurt Russell) "Glass, swab."
  • (Benjamin Harvey) "Too cool."
  • (Kurt Russell) "Yeah. I won it in a crap game a few years back."
  • (Kurt Russell) "Three houses, 375. That's 37 cents."
  • (Benjamin Harvey) "Well that's -- half the money I have left."
  • (Kurt Russell) "Yeah, s*** happens. Cough it up."
  • (Kurt Russell) "Yeah, it happened when I went down off the coast of Australia."
  • (Mary Kay Place) "Your boat sank?"
  • (Kurt Russell) "No, no, no, no. Not my boat. My boss's boat. Yeah, we hit this reef. Huge son-of-a-bitch. Ran the whole coast."
  • (Mary Kay Place) "Wait. The Great Barrier Reef?"
  • (Kurt Russell) "You've heard of it, huh? Smart lady."

Meadow Sisto as Caroline Harvey

  • (Meadow Sisto) "Captain Ron, I was wondering. Are we going to be going to any more "human" type places?"
  • (Kurt Russell) "Well, you heard of St. Croix?"
  • (Meadow Sisto) "Yeah."
  • (Kurt Russell) "We're going to the island just to the left of it."
  • (Meadow Sisto) "What's it called?"
  • (Kurt Russell) "Ted's."
  • (Handsome Guerilla) "The American girls are very -- what's the word? Superficial."
  • (Meadow Sisto) "Yeah. God, I really hate that. Like, I'm into different cultures and different ways of doing things. Like we're watching "Mr. Ed" on TV the other day, and he's speaking French, or something."

Martin Short as Martin Harvey

  • (Martin Short) "Captain Ron. Captain Ron?"
  • (Martin Short) "Isn't this great? Look at this. Open ocean, uncharted islands -- Who knows what's waiting for us out there? Come here."
  • (Martin Short) "Log entry: Day two. The adventure begins. What a thrill it is to be leaving the turmoil of civilization behind us."
  • (Benjamin Harvey) "Man. What happened to your eye?"
  • (Martin Short) "Ben."
  • (Mary Kay Place) "Sweetie, that's rude."
  • (Kurt Russell) "No, that's alright. Shark attack, swab."
  • (Benjamin Harvey) "A shark ate your eye?"
  • (Martin Short) "What's this?"
  • (Meadow Sisto) "Monopoly."
  • (Martin Short) "No, this."
  • (Benjamin Harvey) "Two.45's and a Mac-10."
  • (Meadow Sisto) "It's this total macho trip, Dad, just ignore it."
  • (Martin Short) "Where'd they come from?"
  • (Benjamin Harvey) "Captain Ron traded the Guerrillas for 'em."
  • (Kurt Russell) "Yeah, I thought we'd ought to have them, Boss. Cause, you know, we're gettin' into pirate waters, here, pretty quick."
  • (Martin Short) "What pirates?"
  • (Kurt Russell) "Pirates, of the Caribbean."
  • (Martin Short) "Been to Disney World, one too many times? Have we, Captain Ron?"
  • (Benjamin Harvey) "It's true, Dad. They come up on you in high speed boats."
  • (Kurt Russell) "You know, I don't believe I've been to Disney World --"
  • (Kurt Russell) "I've been to DollyWood."

Mary Kay Place as Katherine Harvey

  • (Mary Kay Place) "What are we going to do?"
  • (Martin Short) "What can we do? Look around you. The sun is almost up. We are marooned in an unfriendly country. We have no luggage, no money, no passports and worse still -- no reason or explination for even being here."
  • (Mary Kay Place) "But we have our boat."
  • (Martin Short) "No dear. If you'll look again, you'll notice that the pirates have our boat."
  • (Meadow Sisto) "Now, wait a minute. That's our boat. We should do something."
  • (Martin Short) "What are you saying?"
  • (Mary Kay Place) "I think she's saying that if the pirates have our boat, we should take it back from them. I say we fight them."
  • (Martin Short) "Bloodthirsty, heavily armed Cuban pirates against the Harvey clan? It would take a miracle."
  • (Benjamin Harvey) "Look. It's Captain Ron."
  • (Mary Kay Place) "We'll be spontaneous when we have time."
  • (Benjamin Harvey) "Wow. We're getting a boat? Too cool."
  • (Mary Kay Place) "Ben, remember our discussion about eavesdropping?"
  • (Benjamin Harvey) "Okay. But we're getting a boat?"
  • (Mary Kay Place) "Your father and I have to talk about it."
  • (Benjamin Harvey) "Alright. We're getting a boat."

Dan Butler as Bill Zachary

  • (Dan Butler) "Mr. and Mrs. Harvey? I'm Bill Zachary from the U.S. State Department. I've got some good news for you."
  • (Mary Kay Place) "Oh. You found our children."
  • (Dan Butler) "No. But you're not being charged with subversion."

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