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Carry On Up the Khyber Quotes

Carry On Up the Khyber is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . Carry On Up the Khyber completed its run in 1970.

It features Peter Rogers as producer, Eric Rogers (composer) in charge of musical score, and Ernest Steward as head of cinematography.

Carry On Up the Khyber is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Carry On Up the Khyber is 88 minutes long. Carry On Up the Khyber is distributed by The Rank Organisation.

The cast includes: Joan Sims as Lady Joan Ruff-Diamond, Roy Castle as Captain Keene, Terry Scott as Sergeant-Major MacNutt, Peter Gilmore as Private Ginger Hale, Bernard Bresslaw as Bungdit Din, Sid James as Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond, Peter Butterworth as Brother Belcher, Angela Douglas as Princess Jelhi, Julian Holloway as Major Shorthouse, and Cardew Robinson as The Fakir.

Carry On Up the Khyber Quotes

Joan Sims as Lady Joan Ruff-Diamond

  • (Joan Sims) "Oh. How awful. What can have happened ?"
  • (Roy Castle) "I don't like making guesses, but I wouldn't be surprised if there hadn't been a spot of foul play here."
  • (Unnamed) "Foul play? Look at them. Lying around like a lot of unwanted cocktail snacks."
  • (Unnamed) "Ginger."
  • (Unnamed) "Who is?"
  • (Unnamed) "He is. Ginger, my mate."
  • (Terry Scott) "Private Hale ?"
  • (Unnamed) "Yes, Ginger Hale. Hello, Ginge. It's me, Jimmy. Your old mate, Jimmy Widdle."
  • (Peter Gilmore) "Jimmy? Is it you? My old mate?"
  • (Unnamed) "Ginge, mate. How do you feel?"
  • (Peter Gilmore) "Oh, not so good. I think I've been wounded."
  • (Unnamed) "Only here and there."
  • (Peter Gilmore) "Jimmy, I can trust you. Now, give it to me straight. Am I going to be all right?"
  • (Unnamed) "Of course not, Ginge mate."
  • (Peter Gilmore) "Eh?"
  • (Unnamed) "I said, "Of course not, Ginge mate.""
  • (Peter Gilmore) "I'm not going to be all right?"
  • (Unnamed) "Well, how could you be, with half a dozen dirty great holes in you? You've had it."
  • (Peter Gilmore) "You're a bleeding fine mate, I must say."
  • (Unnamed) "What do you mean? You asked me to give it to you straight."
  • (Peter Gilmore) "Yeah, but I didn't mean you to. You horrible little runt, you."
  • (Terry Scott) "That's enough. Widdle, you're a great little comfort to a dying man, aren't you? Now listen, Hale, it's Sergeant-Major MacNutt. What happened, lad?"
  • (Peter Gilmore) "They attacked about a half-hour ago, Sir. Hundreds of them."
  • (Peter Gilmore) "Burpas. They -- they -- oooh."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, no. Ginge. Ginge, mate. I'm sorry, I -- Poor old mate."
  • (Peter Gilmore) "That's right. Bleeding well suffocate me."
  • (Joan Sims) "Ooh, I say. He did not 'alf crack that one, did he not?"
  • (Sid James) "Dearest, if you can't express yourself in more elegant terms, kindly shut your cakehole"
  • (Unnamed) "I must take that with me now"
  • (Joan Sims) "Then take me with it"
  • (Unnamed) "But what about your husband?"
  • (Joan Sims) "Oh, we don't want him."
  • (Unnamed) "Will he not be displeased that you come away with me?"
  • (Joan Sims) "Oh, of course"
  • (Joan Sims) "My poor Sidney will be ever so upset."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, do not worry unduly, before many days he and the others will all be dead"
  • (Joan Sims) "Oh well, that's alright then, innit."

Sid James as Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond

  • (Sid James) "Tell Major Shorthouse to call me an elephant."
  • (Joan Sims) "He needn't bother I'll do it. You're an elephant."
  • (Unnamed) "May the benevolence of the god Shivoo bring blessings on your house."
  • (Sid James) "And on yours."
  • (Unnamed) "And may his wisdom bring success in all your undertakings."
  • (Sid James) "And in yours."
  • (Unnamed) "And may his radiance light up your life."
  • (Sid James) "And up yours."

Terry Scott as Sergeant-Major MacNutt

  • (Terry Scott) "We don't fire until we see the whites of their eyes"
  • (Unnamed) "I can see that that one has red eyes"
  • (Terry Scott) "That'll do --"
  • (Terry Scott) "What is that supposed to be, Widdle?"
  • (Unnamed) "The thin red line; they'll never get past this."
  • (Terry Scott) "Widdle, if you don't get out of here, I'll paint a thin red line across your thick white backside."
  • (Terry Scott) "I am wearing them for sentimental reasons, sir. They were hand knitted by me mother."
  • (Sid James) "I don't care if they were hand-embroidered by your father."
  • (Terry Scott) "Well he did do the flowers."

Angela Douglas as Princess Jelhi

  • (Unnamed) "They will die the death of a thousand cuts."
  • (Angela Douglas) "Oh. But that's horrible."
  • (Unnamed) "Not at all my little desert flower, the British are used to cuts."

Roy Castle as Captain Keene

  • (Roy Castle) "Sergeant-Major, report to the surgeon and get that thing taken out."
  • (Roy Castle) "Fire at will."
  • (Peter Butterworth) "Poor old Will, why do they always fire at him?"
  • (Roy Castle) "We need that rope of yours to get over the wall."
  • (Cardew Robinson) "I'm sorry, it won't work. Not without the magic words."
  • (Terry Scott) "Come on, you'll be well paid."
  • (Cardew Robinson) "Those are the magic words."
  • (Roy Castle) "What do you intend to do, sir?"
  • (Sid James) "Do? Do? We're British. We won't do anything --"
  • (Julian Holloway) "-- until it's too late."
  • (Sid James) "Exactly. That's the first sensible thing you've said all day."

Peter Butterworth as Brother Belcher

  • (Peter Butterworth) "Don't worry; we'll save you some Strawberry Mousse."
  • (Peter Butterworth) "I've never ridden in a cart pulled by cows before."
  • (Roy Castle) "Bullocks, Mr Belcher."
  • (Peter Butterworth) "No, I haven't, honestly."
  • (Peter Butterworth) "Of course, they're all completly mad, you know."

Bernard Bresslaw as Bungdit Din

  • (Unnamed) "Bring on the dancing girls. Get rid of this idiot."
  • (Bernard Bresslaw) "Fakir. Off."

Julian Holloway as Major Shorthouse

  • (Julian Holloway) "Oh, Fudge."
  • (Julian Holloway) "Makes a change from tiffin."

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