Chef! Quotes

Chef! is a television show that debuted in 1993 on BBC One. Chef! ended in 1996.

Chef! lasted 20 episodes. It features Crucial Films for the BBC as producer. Chef! is executive produced by Polly McDonald. Chef! is created by Peter Tilbury (based on an idea from Lenny Henry).

Each episode of Chef! is approx. 30 minutes long.

Chef! Quotes

• (Unnamed) "I hate you more than you can possibly imagine."

• (Unnamed) "Everton, I'm the sous chef, do you know what that means?"
• (Unnamed) "It means you're the second in command, sorta thing."
• (Unnamed) "It means I'm the second in command in the finest restaurant in England. Now the head chef leaves me in charge for an hour and suddenly we're serving fricassee of used Elast-O-Plast. I hate you Everton. I want you to die."

• (Unnamed) "Lucinda, I have adorned myself with the culinary condom."

• (Unnamed) "Somebody bring me a knife, very long and razor sharp. I need to castrate the person who made this sauce and I don't want to cause any unecessary suffering. I'm not a vindictive man, I'm not out to cause pain, but with this man's DNA in the gene pool, humanity is doomed."

• (Unnamed) "I consequently have a sex life slightly less active than the Singing Nun."

• (Unnamed) "Savanna Concord, if there is such a thing as reincarnation, I hope to high heaven I come back as your underwear drawer."

• (Unnamed) "Show it to him, Everton."
• (Unnamed) "Well, I --"
• (Unnamed) "Look, he's bound to see it sooner or later. It's much better to have courtesy on your side."
• (Unnamed) "I was afraid he might be a bit pissed off."
• (Unnamed) "Oh no, he won't be pissed off."
• (Unnamed) "Oh, good --"
• (Unnamed) "He'll be incandescent with blind and barbaric fury. Next to Chef, Mount Pinatubo will be an irritating, unripe zit. The killing fields of Kampuchea will be as a bouncy castle."

• (Unnamed) "Let me explain the order of things to you. There's the aristocracy, the upper class, the middle class, working class, dumb animals, waiters, creeping things, head lice, people who eat packet soup, then you."

• (Unnamed) "Everton, please remove the maggots, rat carcasses, and corpses of shocked health inspectors and make the place fit for the preparation of sodding food."

• (Unnamed) "Well, you've got two things going for you. One, we're old school chums. And two, your timing is absolutely, totally, marriage-ruiningly perfect."

• (Unnamed) "You are a pea-brained, prat-faced, pompous, pillock-headed cretin. If you took an intensive course of intelligence injections and studied till you drop, then one day you might make it to moron third class failed."

• (Unnamed) "And you're a man --"
• (Unnamed) "Janice, I can hardly deny that with you holding the evidence."

• (Unnamed) "So please go away -- and please re-arrange the contents of this plate so that someone in the latest stages of malnutrition will at least take a passing interest in it."

• (Unnamed) "BBC bosses boycott bollocking Blackstock."

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