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Clifford (film) Quotes

Clifford (film) is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . Clifford stopped airing in 1970.

It features Larry Brezner as producer, Richard Gibbs in charge of musical score, and John A. Alonzo as head of cinematography.

Clifford (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Clifford (film) is 90 minutes long. Clifford (film) is distributed by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.

The cast includes: Charles Grodin as Martin Daniels, Martin Short as Clifford, Mary Steenburgen as Sarah Davis, Dabney Coleman as Gerald Ellis, Richard Kind as Julien, and G.D. Spradlin as Parker.

Clifford (film) Quotes

Mary Steenburgen as Sarah Davis

  • (Mary Steenburgen) "See Clifford, didn't I tell you everything would be alright?"
  • (Martin Short) "Yes you did Miss Sarah, but I don't like those men. They're liars, and everybody knows that liars eventually get caught."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Yeah that's right you little peckerhead."
  • (Mary Steenburgen) "You are such a baby. Clifford should be babysitting you."
  • (Charles Grodin) "No thanks, I prefer babysitters who aren't affiliated with the Manson family."
  • (Mary Steenburgen) "You're a phony. Believe me, I can spot a phony a mile away."
  • (Unnamed) "Excuse me, Honey, have you seen a gray Collie dog around here?"
  • (Mary Steenburgen) "No, Ma'am, I haven't."
  • (Mary Steenburgen) "Daddy, I want you to be nice to Martin for me, please."
  • (G.D. Spradlin) "If I have to honey, I still don't understand how a man at his age is still not married."

Charles Grodin as Martin Daniels

  • (Charles Grodin) "What do you mean you're out of chocolate? How can that be?"
  • (Unnamed) "Everybody want chocolate. I'm out of chocolate."
  • (Charles Grodin) "I NEED CHOCOLATE."
  • (Unnamed) "Alright, alright, I might have an Easter Bunny left over in the frige."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Get me the bunny."
  • (Charles Grodin) "I have heard that Clifford is a very special boy."
  • (Richard Kind) "Where is that little monster?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "This is Martin Daniels. I'm not home but I got a bomb under City Hall."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Okay, I've got 20 hours. I can do it if I don't panic."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Get in the car."
  • (Charles Grodin) "I am now out on bail. Are you listening to me?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "Are you?"
  • (Martin Short) "Yes, I am."
  • (Charles Grodin) "I have a criminal record. But you know what you're gonna have?"
  • (Martin Short) "What?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "You're gonna have a one-way ticket back to your parents."
  • (Martin Short) "Don't send me back to my parents. They hate me."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Not as much as I DO."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Oh, stop with the fake tears."
  • (Martin Short) "I'm not faking. I am sorry. I'll admit anything. Just don't send me back to my parents. I'll even tell Miss Sarah that I was the one who put the lipstick in your pocket, which I didn't. It was her father. He wanted to embarass you. He said that you were a simple-minded moron."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Sarah's father called me a moron?"
  • (Martin Short) "Simple-minded moron."
  • (Charles Grodin) "And Sarah's father put the lipstick in my pocket?"
  • (Martin Short) "Yes."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Why would he do that?"
  • (Martin Short) "'Cause he hates you. I don't know why. I surely think you're a nice-enough sort."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Climb abord Clifford., are you excited, Clifford?"
  • (Martin Short) "Yes, cause it has always been my dream, Uncle Martin"
  • (Charles Grodin) "Yeah, the same way as building a transit system was always my dream."
  • (Martin Short) "Why do you say was?, did something happen to it?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "HAD SOMETHING HAPPENED TO IT?, we'll see how you feel about your dream after being on the ride for ten hours."
  • (Martin Short) "Ten hours., I'd say i'd like it even more."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Then we'll see how you would feel after 100 hours."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Here's the deal: Go to your room, write a confession that I'll take to the police, I will not send you back to your parents, and you tell Sarah that you and I are the best of friends."
  • (Martin Short) "And we are, aren't we?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "Shut up."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Gee I don't like him."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Let's just forget about the wig. But I gotta punish you, and that means Dinosaur World is out."
  • (Martin Short) "I don't understand."
  • (Charles Grodin) "I've got a bombshell for you, young man: I happen to be the boss in this house and you cannot fight City Hall."
  • (Martin Short) "But you know, Uncle Martin, someone as wise and worldly as you would realize that breaking a little boy's promise and punishing him for it would be a terrible, terrible thing. I imagine that little boy wouldn't be responsible for what he was gonna do next."
  • (Charles Grodin) "See now, that sounds like a threat to me and I don't like threats. So you're gonna spend the rest of the day in your room. Now you march up there, young man. March."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Was that scary?"
  • (Martin Short) "Not at all, you know a thought occured to me. You think that Miss Sarah and Mr. Ellis, perhaps would name their first child Martin?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "That is so cute. You know Clifford, I really shouldn't put this in hyperdrive but I just can't seem to help myself, OH WELL."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Hi, this is Martin Daniels, I'm not home right now but I got a bomb under city hall. Talk to you later."
  • (Charles Grodin) "That was so embarrassing with Mr. Ellis. Please don't ever tell someone that they have a nice wig."
  • (Martin Short) "I said it was the bestest-looking wig I ever saw. It was a compliment."
  • (Charles Grodin) "He says he doesn't wear a wig, and a person doesn't take it as a compliment if you say, "Nice wig"."
  • (Martin Short) "But I didn't say "Nice wig", Uncle Martin, I said "Bestest-looking wig". I believe there is a difference."
  • (Charles Grodin) "You want me to redesign the entire model in two days?"
  • (Dabney Coleman) "Look, the bottom line is you've got to move the train line."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Wha --"
  • (Dabney Coleman) "Yes, two miles."
  • (Charles Grodin) "But -- That's impossible, that would put the train line; That's right through the Sepulveda dam."
  • (Dabney Coleman) "Oh. That's not good -- Well you'll come up with something. Just hole up for a few days, drink alot of coffee, and blah blah blah, and you being the top man I know you are, you'll hit another home run for us just like you always do. You all right?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "No."
  • (Dabney Coleman) "Good man."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Don't worry about Clifford, he'll be fine if you give him a ton of sugar and a book about Hitler."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Listen to me. Listen to me a minute."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Just leave the dinosaur there, I'm trying to tell you something. When I -- When I was a little boy -- You know, you touch the dinosaur, I'm gonna kill you."
  • (Martin Short) "Stephen wanted to stand here."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Give it to me. I'll rip its head off. Give it to me. God almighty, Boy. Now listen to me, I'm trying to tell you something to help you. When I was a little boy growing up in Chicago, there was this great amusement park called Riverview. Your father tell you about it?"
  • (Martin Short) "Yes."
  • (Charles Grodin) "I thought that was the only place where a boy like me could be happy but my father never took me there. And then one day, they tore it down before I ever got a chance to go. I understand how you feel."
  • (Martin Short) "Does it ever get easier, Uncle Martin?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "Not really."
  • (Charles Grodin) "If you even look at me wrong. If you do one thing that I find weird, which is, you know, like, your middle name -- See? You're doing it right now. Can you just act like a human boy for one minute here? Look at me like a person. You can't do it for more than a few seconds. Look at me like a human boy."
  • (Charles Grodin) "I've underestimated the evil one."

Martin Short as Clifford

  • (Martin Short) "Any luck with that chocolate?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "Any luck with that chocolate? Any luck with that chocolate?"
  • (Martin Short) "Oh, you mean Uncle Martin -- Scary -- Scary Uncle Martin."
  • (Martin Short) "How many years you think you'll get for kidnapping me, Uncle Ten-Most-Wanted?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "Life. Let's go a little faster shall we?"
  • (Martin Short) "Uncle Martin, save me --. Uncle Martin?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "I'm thinking it over."
  • (Martin Short) "Please?, I'm scared."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Well I'm scared about what might happen if I save you. You know, I should do mankind a tremendous favor and let that dinosaur eat you. I mean, who knows what horrors you might unleash, or what if you got your hands on some plutonium?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "I just made the bestest nuclear bomb in the whole wide world."
  • (Martin Short) "Stephen walked back."
  • (Martin Short) "I'm sorry"
  • (Charles Grodin) "NO, NO, Clifford don't, I don't want to hug you. I can't imagine anyone ever wanting to hug you."
  • (Martin Short) "But I really am sorry."
  • (Charles Grodin) "You really are sorry?, you know sorrow is a human emotion, and as we know, you are not a human boy, you're just, this, this destructive thing who everyone will eventually get to hate you -- LET'S GO."
  • (Martin Short) "Well if you really feel that way, then why should I go with you?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "THEN DON'T --. it's your choice."
  • (Martin Short) "Hi, this is Clifford. I can't tell you where my Uncle Martin is right now but I'll give you a hint: kaboom."
  • (Martin Short) "I think you're the bestest uncle in the whole wide world."
  • (Martin Short) "Oh Uncle Martin, I am so glad you're here. I got on the train to run away, but a person tried to touch my no-no special place. And when I got back, there were bikers here. And they tied me up, Uncle Martin, and then they told me stories that they do on their bikes. Some of them were fun but some of them were scary."
  • (Martin Short) "Tell me when this is all over, how many years do you think you'll get for kidnapping me, Uncle 10-Most-Wanted?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "Life. Let's go a little faster, shall we?"
  • (Martin Short) "I love you, Uncle Martin."
  • (Charles Grodin) "And I love you too, Clinton."
  • (Martin Short) "Clifford."
  • (Woman on Plane) "Would you please stop hitting the back of my chair? I am trying to sleep."
  • (Martin Short) "I'm sorry, Miss Nice Older Person, but I don't know what you're talking about. Perhaps you were just having a nightmare about your early days in the circus."
  • (Woman on Plane) "One more word out of you and I'll call the flight attendant."
  • (Martin Short) "Wasn't nice of the mean old lady to smash your collarbone was it, Stephen?"
  • (Martin Short) "You wouldn't lie to me, would you Uncle Martin? 'Cause if you did I'd be so angry I don't know what I'd do."

Dabney Coleman as Gerald Ellis

  • (Dabney Coleman) "Where have you been? You should've been here an hour ago, I've been listening to this idiot for -- What are you looking at?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "Nothing."
  • (Dabney Coleman) "Good. Did you make the changes on the model?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "Yes I made the changes on the model."
  • (Dabney Coleman) "Yeah but you didn't shave. We got the entire press court here, you look like s***."
  • (Charles Grodin) "I look like s***? Well you look like Willie Nelson."
  • (Dabney Coleman) "Who the hell is responsible for this?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "I am"
  • (Dabney Coleman) "Well, you're fired."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Of course I am."
  • (Dabney Coleman) "Oh and by the way, I happen to love Willie Nelson."
  • (Dabney Coleman) "I don't believe we've met."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Oh, this is Miss --"
  • (Dabney Coleman) "Miss Sarah Davis. Yes, I'm well aware."

G.D. Spradlin as Parker

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