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Coneheads (film) Quotes

Coneheads (film) is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . Coneheads stopped airing in 1970.

It features Lorne Michaels as producer, David Newman (composer) in charge of musical score, and Francis Kenny as head of cinematography.

Coneheads (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Coneheads (film) is 87 minutes long. Coneheads (film) is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Dan Aykroyd as Beldar Conehead, Dave Thomas as Highmaster, Chris Farley as Ronnie, Michelle Burke as Connie, Lisa Jane Persky as Lisa Farber, Jane Curtin as Prymatt Conehead, Sinbad as Otto, Tim Meadows as Athletic Cone, Tom Arnold as Golfer, and Jason Alexander as Larry Farber.

Coneheads (film) Quotes

Michelle Burke as Connie

  • (Michelle Burke) "I think I'll have some Tang."
  • (Jane Curtin) "Ah Tang, the drink astronauts took to the moon."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "Astronauts to the moon?"

Dave Thomas as Highmaster

  • (Dave Thomas) "Therefore, you will -- NARFTLE THE GARTHOK."
  • (Dave Thomas) "Let it be written -- are you writing this?"

Sinbad as Otto

  • (Sinbad) "Are you telling me you don't have a social security number?"
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "Correct."
  • (Sinbad) "Why not?"
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "I am an illegal alien."
  • (Sinbad) "A more honorable man I have not known."
  • (Sinbad) "Hey Beldar, got any more of that gum?"
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "Certainly."
  • (Sinbad) "On second thought, I better not chew and drive."
  • (Sinbad) "Once again you have pulled me from the fire."

Dan Aykroyd as Beldar Conehead

  • (Dan Aykroyd) "An owner's manual to a Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable."
  • (Dave Thomas) "Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable?"
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "A personal conveyance named after its inventor, an assassinated ruler, a character from Greco-Roman myth and a small fur-covered mammal."
  • (Dave Thomas) "Ah."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "What choice do I have? It is as if you have grabbed me by the base of my snarglies."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "What have you done to your cone?"
  • (Michelle Burke) "Nothing?"
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "No? Turn around."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "NYAAAHH."
  • (Michelle Burke) "Ehhhh. It's not a real tattoo."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "Mebs. Mebs. Unacceptable."
  • (Michelle Burke) "It's just a decal; everyone's wearing them."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "If everyone jumped into a bituminous cauldron, would you jump in too?"
  • (Michelle Burke) "I am not a little cone anymore, Dad."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "Maintain low tones with me. Maintain low tones. Now, you are to go to the hygenic chamber and remove it. Also, you are wearing far too much lip and cheek enhancement."
  • (Michelle Burke) "Mom;. My makeup looks okay, doesn't it?"
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "Do not involve the approval of your other parental unit. Now, if you wish to accompany me to the enclosed retail compound, you will go to the hygenic chamber upstairs immediately, and REMOVE THE DECAL."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "May I have 55 words with you?"
  • (Dr. Rudolph, Dentist) "Hello Mr. De-Sick-o."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "DeChicco, my name is DeChicco."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "Your positive perception of me is vital to my existence. Besides, it is not everyday a father can give the world to his child."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "When my people come to colonize this planet, your name will be on the protected rolls, and you will come to no harm."
  • (Gladys Johnson, Driving Student) "You are wise. But there's a sadness to your wisdom."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "Take my car, its re-enforced alloy superstructure is far superior to that of your broken down, rusted out s*** box."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "NYAAAAHHH. Senso-rings? Where did you get those?"
  • (Michelle Burke) "Under your bed?"
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "Unacceptable. Your cone is too young."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "If, for some reason your life functions ceased, my most precious one, I would collapse, I would draw the shades and I would live in the dark. I would never get out of my slar pad or clean myself. My fluids would coagulate, my cone would shrivel, and I would die, miserable and lonely. The stench would be great."

Chris Farley as Ronnie

  • (Chris Farley) "Wow. My Mom's the only other woman I know who can take a sandwich like that."
  • (Michelle Burke) "You going to finish that?"
  • (Chris Farley) "H -- hi, Mr. Conehead."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "I find you unacceptable."
  • (Chris Farley) "Yes, sir."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "If I did not fear incarceration from human authority figures, I would terminate your life functions by applying sufficient pressure to your blunt skull so as to force its collapse."
  • (Chris Farley) "Th -- thank you."

Jane Curtin as Prymatt Conehead

  • (Jane Curtin) "He was behaving like a flarndip?"
  • (Michelle Burke) "Flarndip?"
  • (Jane Curtin) "A masher, a hustler, an uninvited grasper of cone."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "FLARNDIP?"
  • (Jane Curtin) "I was a young cone myself once. Before I met Beldar, I was very attracted to a young Thorasian forger. And I far as I was concerned there was no other life force in the universe that mattered. But then he got a job working at a volcano complex on some moon in the Petulaus Cluster. I never saw him again. And it broke my blood valve chamber."
  • (Jane Curtin) "You know Connie, I read in a magazine that you can talk to me about anything."

Lisa Jane Persky as Lisa Farber

  • (Lisa Jane Persky) "All men are pigs."
  • (Jane Curtin) "Ah, pigs. An omnivorous domesticated cloven-hooved vertebrate that defecates in the same place it consumes."
  • (Lisa Jane Persky) "Exactly."

Tom Arnold as Golfer

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Tim Meadows as Athletic Cone

  • (Tim Meadows) "I have learned much from watching the Garthok battle. It has weaknesses. I believe I can take it."
  • (Dan Aykroyd) "Uh-huh. And let me know when Elvis gets here."

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