Coupling (UK TV series) Quotes

Coupling is a TV program that first aired in 2000 on BBC Two . Coupling ended in 1970.

Coupling lasted 28 episodes. It features Sue Vertue as producer, and Simon Brint as composer. Coupling is executive produced by Beryl Vertue.

Coupling is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Coupling is 30 minutes long. Coupling is produced by Hartswood Films.

The cast includes: Richard Coyle quit his role as Jeff.

Coupling Quotes

Richard Coyle quit his role as Jeff

• (Richard Coyle quit his role) "She thinks I'm a mute with a balance problem."

• (Richard Coyle quit his role) "When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name."

• (Patrick) "It was just so embarrassing. I didn't know what to do."
• (Steve) "Happens to us all mate."
• (Richard Coyle quit his role) "All of us, in our time, are visited by the melty man."
• (Patrick) "The what?"
• (Richard Coyle quit his role) "Don't say his name, Patrick. Don't even think his name or he will rise from the shadow dimensions to do his evil work on your terrified pants."
• (Patrick) "Terrified pants?"
• (Steve) "There's nothing funny about the melty man, Patrick."
• (Patrick) "You know about the melty man, too?"
• (Steve) "We all know the melty man."
• (Patrick) "Who is he?"
• (Steve) "The archenemy of trouser confidence."
• (Richard Coyle quit his role) "Professor Moriarty. In groin form."
• (Steve) "Darth Vader"
• (Richard Coyle quit his role) "Without the helmet."
• (Patrick) "What does he do?"
• (Richard Coyle quit his role) "Patrick, you know what he does."
• (Patrick) "Oh right."
• (Richard Coyle quit his role) "You're in bed with a woman. Everything's going fine. That's when the melty man strikes."
• (Steve) "Suddenly you find yourself thinking, "Maybe she's really bored"."
• (Richard Coyle quit his role) "Maybe you're licking her neck too much. Are you over-wetting her neck?"
• (Steve) "Are you spending an equal amount of time on each breast? I mean, what if one breast gets ahead?"
• (Richard Coyle quit his role) "Should you be switching between them really quickly or should you squish 'em both together and do them at once"
• (Steve) "Or should you skip one breast completely just to save time?"
• (Richard Coyle quit his role) "She's wriggling about. Is that a good sign or is she just trying to dry her neck?"

• (Richard Coyle quit his role) "I love the word naked, it's brilliant isn't it, 'naked'. When I was a kid I used to write the word naked on a bit of paper hundreds of times and rub my face in it."

• (Richard Coyle quit his role) "Maybe women are completely different when we're not with them. Maybe they're not cross all the time."

• (Steve) "What is this?"
• (Susan) "It's a cushion."
• (Steve) "Right. Yes. Thank you for that. Very informative."
• (Steve) "You got any of these?"
• (Richard Coyle quit his role) "No."
• (Steve) "Of course you haven't."
• (Steve) "You; are you married? Living with anyone?"
• (Junior Shop Assistant) "No."
• (Steve) "Got any of these?"
• (Junior Shop Assistant) "No."
• (Steve) "Of course not. Okay."
• (Steve) "You bring these things into our homes. They sit on our chairs. They watch our televisions. Now, I just need to know, on behalf of all men everywhere, I just need to ask, please -- What are they for? I mean, look at them. Look at the chubby little bastards. Just sitting around everywhere. What are they, pets for chairs?"
• (Steve) "Come on, you sell them. What are they for?"
• (Junior Shop Assistant) "Well --"
• (Senior Shop Assistant) "You sit on them."
• (Steve) "Ah. Ha ha ha. You see, that's where you're wrong. Nobody sits on them. Okay, watch this. Here's the cushion. I'm putting it on the sofa. Now watch me. I'm stting down. And what do I do on my final approach? I; oh.; move the cushion. You see? It's not involved. It's not part of the whole sitting process. It just lies there. It's fat litter. It's a sofa parasite."
• (Jane) "It's, you know -- padding."
• (Steve) "Oh, padding. Now, that's interesting, Jane. See, I like padding. If I was, say, an American Football player, and all those big bastards running at me, I would say "give me some of that padding and be quick about it." If my job involved bouncing down jagged rocks I would say "in view of those jagged rocks down there, I'll have some of that padding, thank you very much." But Susan, Sally, Jane, this is a sofa. It is designed by clever scientists in such a way as to shield the unprotected user from the risk of skin abrasions, serious head trauma, and, of course --"
• (Steve) "Daleks. Trust me girls, trust me on this one: you do not need padding to tackle upholstery. So please; once and for all, tell me why on Earth you would want me to sit on one of these?"
• (Susan) "Because, if you pressed it firmly against your bottom, it might stop you talking."

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