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Defending Your Life Quotes

Defending Your Life is a television show that debuted in 1970 . Defending Your Life ended in 1970.

It features Robert Grand as producer, Erroll Garner in charge of musical score, and Allen Daviau as head of cinematography.

Defending Your Life is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Defending Your Life is 111 minutes long. Defending Your Life is distributed by Warner Bros..

The cast includes: Albert Brooks as Daniel Miller, Meryl Streep as Julia, Rip Torn as Bob Diamond, Lee Grant as Lena Foster, and Buck Henry as Dick Stanley.

Defending Your Life Quotes

Meryl Streep as Julia

  • (Meryl Streep) "Daniel. Daniel. Daniel."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Julia."
  • (Meryl Streep) "Daniel."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Julia."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Julia."
  • (Tram driver) "What the hell are you doing?"
  • (Tram driver) "Sit down right now. You're gonna hurt yourself."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Julia. Julia. Julia."
  • (Meryl Streep) "Daniel."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Julia."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Ow. Ow."
  • (Meryl Streep) "Aaah. Daniel."
  • (Albert Brooks) "I love you."
  • (Meryl Streep) "Oh, my God."
  • (Albert Brooks) "I tried to call you, but I didn't know your last name."
  • (Meryl Streep) "Oh."
  • (Albert Brooks) "I won't let you go. I won't let you go."
  • (Meryl Streep) "I can't get you out of my mind."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Tell me about it. You know these screenings are so tough for me. And yet when I see you I instantly feel OK."
  • (Meryl Streep) "So that's great, right?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "Well I don't think it has anything to do with me, that's what worries me. I think you're doing it."
  • (Meryl Streep) "What; what am I doing?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "I'm not sure. But I always read that you had to be OK with yourself first before you could be OK with another person. Now I feel OK with you. But I don't know how OK I was with myself before I met you, so maybe you're making me OK."
  • (Meryl Streep) "You're not that OK."
  • (Albert Brooks) "OK."
  • (Eduardo) "You gonna eat a lot with us tonight, now?"
  • (Meryl Streep) "What do you recommend, Eduardo?"
  • (Eduardo) "You like pasta?"
  • (Meryl Streep) "Very much."
  • (Eduardo) "I gonna bring you three pounds of it, the best you ever tasted. You gonna love it."
  • (Eduardo) "What about you, my friend? You like, eh, shrimp?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "Um, yeah."
  • (Eduardo) "We can make it so fresh they crawl up and put it in your plate themselves."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Aren't they high in cholesterol?"
  • (Eduardo) "I don't know what you're talking about, but they high in everything. Don't worry about it."
  • (Meryl Streep) "Do you have a hot tub in your room?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "No -- why? Do you?"
  • (Meryl Streep) "No. No -- it's more like a -- it's not even really a hot tub. Y'know, really it just has holes in it --"
  • (Albert Brooks) "You don't have to protect my feelings. It's okay if you've got a got tub."
  • (Meryl Streep) "Oh -- well then I do."
  • (Meryl Streep) "Hold on. Hold on. Just please hold on. Hold on."
  • (Albert Brooks) "I love you."
  • (Meryl Streep) "I love you."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Open this up. Damnit, open it up."
  • (Meryl Streep) "Please, open the door."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Julia, wait for me. Wait for me."
  • (Rip Torn) "Brave enough for you?"
  • (Meryl Streep) "Please, open the door. Please."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Julia. Julia."
  • (Daniel's judge) "Let him go."
  • (Meryl Streep) "We went to visit some friends for the weekend. Everybody wanted to go into town, but I wanted to stay at the house and go swimming. So I went outside, tripped over the chaise lounge, hit my head on the cement and rolled into the pool."
  • (Albert Brooks) "What did the East German judge give you?"
  • (Meryl Streep) "The best hot dogs in Judgement City are supposed to be over by the Hall of Records."
  • (Albert Brooks) "You really love this eating thing, don't you?"
  • (Meryl Streep) "To be able to eat as much as you want, never gain an ounce and feel great. Please."

Albert Brooks as Daniel Miller

  • (Albert Brooks) "Y'know if you really wanna make this place feel like Earth, you should open a few of those mini-malls."
  • (Helen) "It's funny you should say that; a few just opened outside of town. Personally, I wouldn't use them because I don't like yogurt and I LOVE doing my own nails."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Offer me $55,000; no more."
  • (Daniel's wife) "How much do you want?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "How much are you offering?"
  • (Daniel's wife) "Fifty-five thousand dollars."
  • (Albert Brooks) "I can't work here for a penny under 65."
  • (Daniel's wife) "Well, I can't pay you 65."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Then I can't work here. I'm sorry."
  • (Daniel's wife) "Fifty-eight thousand."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Sixty-five."
  • (Daniel's wife) "Sixty."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Sixty-five."
  • (Daniel's wife) "Sixty-one?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "Let me make this perfectly clear to you: I can't work for you for any less than $65,000."
  • (Lee Grant) "Now, your honor, allow me to show you the real encounter."
  • (Agency head) "I'm prepared to offer you $49,000."
  • (Albert Brooks) "I'll take it."
  • (Albert Brooks) "I was driving to work this morning thinking I will be here, in 2 months, it'll be 10 years. And you're like my real family. Isn't that tragic."
  • (Albert Brooks) "I got a call from my mother this morning, she wished me a happy birthday, and hinted around the fact that I wasn't making enough money. If you can call "are ya still making the same salary, honey" a hint. And my ex-wife used to say the same thing, although she never used the name "honey"."
  • (Albert Brooks) "So, maybe in three years I can double my income?"
  • (Agency head) "Good luck."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Four years? Okay. So, you're great people to work with, and this is a great present, and I wish I could squeeze all of you into one pretty woman."
  • (Albert Brooks) "And if you'd like to go to my office, I'll try."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Thanks a lot."
  • (Albert Brooks) "You were born alone, you should celebrate it; celebrate aloneness. That's what birthdays are for."
  • (Jeep Owner) "Gee I never thought of it like that."
  • (Albert Brooks) "It's a pitiful theory."
  • (Albert Brooks) "What is this?"
  • (Meryl Streep) "It's my hotel."
  • (Albert Brooks) "This is your hotel?"
  • (Meryl Streep) "Yeah. Where are you staying?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "Obviously at the place for people that weren't very generous and didn't adopt anybody. I'm at the Continental. Come over one day; we'll paint it."
  • (Albert Brooks) "So, you're great people to work with, this is a great present, and I wish I could squeeze you all into one pretty woman. And if you'd like to go to my office, I'll try."
  • (Comedian) "Well, there's a nice-looking young man over there. Hi, how'd ya die?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "On stage, like you."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Why do you drive this?"
  • (Jeep Owner) "What?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "I'm curious. I see people driving these things. What do you know that I don't? Are floods coming? Hoover Dam broke? What's going on?"
  • (Jeep Owner) "I like this car."
  • (Albert Brooks) "It's not a car, it's a battering ram. This is what Patton drove: "Hey you, soldier. Follow us.""
  • (Jeep Owner) "Make fun, but in an 8.5 earthquake, you'll beg for a Jeep."
  • (Albert Brooks) "In an 8.5 earthquake, I'll beg for a coffin."

Rip Torn as Bob Diamond

  • (Rip Torn) "Being from Earth, as you are, and using as little of your brain as you do, your life has pretty much been devoted to dealing with fear."
  • (Albert Brooks) "It has?"
  • (Rip Torn) "Well everybody on Earth deals with fear; that's what little brains do."
  • (Rip Torn) "-- Fear is like a giant fog. It sits on your brain and blocks everything; real feelings, true happiness, real joy. They can't get through that fog. But you lift it, and buddy, you're in for the ride of your life."
  • (Albert Brooks) "God -- my three percent is swimming."
  • (Rip Torn) "We have about 400,000 residents here. We service half of the United States dead. That's about 2,500 people a day."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Do children come here?"
  • (Rip Torn) "Children don't have to defend themselves. When a child is taken, they automatically move forward. Isn't that nice?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "What about teenagers?"
  • (Rip Torn) "Too much trouble. They go elsewhere. We tried for a while, but they damage the tupas. Too rowdy. What about your chicken? How do you like it?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "Oh, delicious."
  • (Rip Torn) "Yeah."
  • (Rip Torn) "Mmm."
  • (Albert Brooks) "What are you eating?"
  • (Rip Torn) "You wouldn't like this. Ha-ha-ha."
  • (Albert Brooks) "What is it? What's it taste like?"
  • (Rip Torn) "You're curious, aren't ya? Good. I like that about you. You wanna try?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "Yeah. It looks so weird."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Oh, my God."
  • (Rip Torn) "A little like horses***, huh?"
  • (Rip Torn) "As you get smarter, you begin to manipulate your senses. This tastes much different to me than it is to you."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Eww. This is what smart people eat?"
  • (Rip Torn) "They can make a mistake. You shouldn't let others get to you like this. Just follow what's in here."
  • (Rip Torn) "Don't worry, and don't kick yourself forever. Just take the opportunities when they come."
  • (Rip Torn) "Did we ever stop to think that this young boy had a bond with his father? I don't think it had anything to do with the friend. I just think Daniel couldn't lie to his dad. That's all."
  • (Lee Grant) "You're nodding, Mr. Miller. Does that mean you agree with Mr. Diamond?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "Oh, yes. I had a bond with my father. I pretty much never lied to him."
  • (Lee Grant) "You never lied to your father? Would you like me to show you at least 500 examples?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "I said "pretty much" never lied. I didn't say I never, ever lied. You have to lie sometimes -- in an emergency. But, ah, it doesn't mean the bond is affected. If you've got the bond the bond is always there, and if you have to lie occasionally you're not going to interfere with the bond. You know, the bond can wait for a little lie and -- in the end it's there for you. You know, sometimes in the middle of a lie I found that the bond would kick in -- maybe squeeze a little truth out."
  • (Rip Torn) "Psst, wrap it up."
  • (Albert Brooks) "I'm through."
  • (Rip Torn) "When you use more than 5 percent of your brain, you don't want to be on earth; believe me."
  • (Rip Torn) "There was one person you were really cheap with. Over and over again. I wish you'd been more generous with him."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Who?"
  • (Rip Torn) "You."
  • (Rip Torn) "For example, I use forty-eight percent of my brain. Do you know how much you use?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "Forty -- seven?"
  • (Rip Torn) "Three."

Lee Grant as Lena Foster

  • (Lee Grant) "What did you finally invest in, Mr. Miller, do you remember?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "Um, uh -- cattle."
  • (Lee Grant) "And what happened to the cattle?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "I don't know; I never got a straight answer. All I know is that their teeth fell out."
  • (Lee Grant) "Morning."
  • (Daniel's judge) "Good morning."
  • (Daniel's judge) "Good morning."
  • (Rip Torn) "Good morning."
  • (Albert Brooks) "Good morning."
  • (Daniel's judge) "Mr. Miller, I'm sure your defender has explained all of the basics to you, but let me just say. Even though this feels like a trial, it really isn't. It's just a process that helps us decide, and as inperfect as it may be, we think it works quite well."
  • (Daniel's judge) "What you're going to see on this screen, Mr. Miller, will look and feel so real to you you might be a little uneasy at first. But just relax. After a while, I think it will become pleasurable to you. They tell me it feels something like 3-D."
  • (Daniel's judge) "Any questions, Mr. Miller?"
  • (Daniel's judge) "Ms. Foster, you may begin."
  • (Lee Grant) "Thank you, your honors. Over the course of the following four days, I will attempt to show that Daniel Miller, while he's a quality human being, is still held back by the fears that plague him lifetime after lifetime. I believe that I can show, without a shadow of a doubt, that he must once again be returned to Earth to wrok on his problem. May we begin in childhood, please? Could we go to 11419?"
  • (Daniel's judge) "By the way, Mr. Miller, that signifies you're 11 years, four months, and 19 days old. Is that clear?"
  • (Albert Brooks) "I think so."

Buck Henry as Dick Stanley

  • (Buck Henry) "I'm fine."

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