Despicable Me Quotes

Despicable Me is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . Despicable Me ended its run in 1970.

It features Chris Meledandri, John Cohen, and Janet Healy as producer, and Heitor Pereira; Pharrell Williams in charge of musical score.

Despicable Me is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Elsie Fisher as Agnes, Danny McBride as Fred McDade, Jason Segel as Vector, Dana Gaier as Edith, Miranda Cosgrove as Margo, Russell Brand as Dr. Nefario, Kristen Wiig as Miss Hattie, Will Arnett as Mr. Perkins, and Steve Carell as Man.

Despicable Me Quotes

Dana Gaier as Edith

• (Dana Gaier) "Whoa. That is cool. Come on."
• (Elsie Fisher) "I don't think he's a dentist."

• (Dana Gaier) "Can I drink this?"
• (Russell Brand) "Do you want to explode?"

• (Gru) "No, no. Stay away from there. It's fragile."
• (Gru) "Well, I suppose the plan will work with two."
• (Dana Gaier) "Hey. It's dark in here."
• (Dana Gaier) "It poked a hole in my juice box."

• (Dana Gaier) "Hey, that one looks like me."
• (Gru) "What are you talking about? These are kittens. Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental."

• (Dana Gaier) "Are these beds made out of bombs?"
• (Gru) "Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up. But try not to toss and turn."
• (Dana Gaier) "Cool."

• (Dana Gaier) "Somebody broke that."

• (Dana Gaier) "When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this would be more like Annie."

• (Dana Gaier) "Yes. Mine's shaped like a dead guy."

Jason Segel as Vector

• (Jason Segel) "Boo-ya."
• (Jason Segel) "You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash."
• (Jason Segel) "Yeah. You done been shrunk."
• (Jason Segel) "Y'ello? Oh yeah, I got the shrink ray --. What? No, I'm not -- playing with it."

• (Jason Segel) "Look at you, a little tiny toilet, for little tiny people to --"
• (Jason Segel) "Ah. Curse you, tiny toilet."

• (Gru) "Listen close, you little punk. When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain."
• (Jason Segel) "Ooh, I'm really scared."
• (Elsie Fisher) "He is gonna kick your butt."

• (Jason Segel) "He punched my shark."

• (Jason Segel) "Gru?"
• (Jason Segel) "Don't make me laugh. And P.S., he is not getting the moon. And P.P.S., when I'm done with Gru, he's gonna be begging for mercy."

• (Jason Segel) "Oh, poop."

• (Gru) "Listen close, you little punk. When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain."
• (Jason Segel) "Ooh, I'm really scared."
• (Elsie Fisher) "He is gonna kick your butt."

• (Jason Segel) "Oh yeaaaaahhh."

• (Jason Segel) "I'm applying for a villain loan. I go by the name of Vector. It's a mathematical term, represented by an arrow with both direction and magnitude. Vector. That's me, because I commit crimes with both direction and magnitude. Oh yeah."

Russell Brand as Dr. Nefario

• (Russell Brand) "We've been working on this for a while now. It's an Anti-gravity serum."
• (Russell Brand) "I meant to close that. He'll be alright, I'm sure."
• (Gru) "Do the effects wear off?"
• (Russell Brand) "Uh -- so far, no. No, they don't."

• (Russell Brand) "We have to warn him, and FAST."

• (Russell Brand) "And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered."
• (Gru) "No, no, no. I said dart gun, not --"
• (Gru) "Okay."
• (Russell Brand) "Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering -- under what circumstances would we use this?"

Elsie Fisher as Agnes

• (Elsie Fisher) "Just one more. I accidentally closed my eyes."

• (Elsie Fisher) "Will you read us a bedtime story?"
• (Gru) "No."
• (Elsie Fisher) "Pretty please?"
• (Gru) "The physical appearance of the please makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep."

• (Elsie Fisher) "Oh, my gosh look at that fluffy unicorn."
• (Elsie Fisher) "He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die."

• (Elsie Fisher) "Unicorns, I love them. Unicorns, I love them. Uni uni unicorns, I love them. Uni unicorns, I could pet one if they were really real. And they are. So I bought one so I could pet it. Now it loves me, now I love it. La lala la la --"

• (Elsie Fisher) "I like him. He's nice."
• (Dana Gaier) "He's scary."
• (Elsie Fisher) "Like Santa."

• (Elsie Fisher) "Aw. My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly."
• (Dana Gaier) "That's a Cheeto."
• (Elsie Fisher) "Oh."

• (Elsie Fisher) "Cool, lets go destroy some other games."

• (Elsie Fisher) "Why are you wearing your pajamas?"
• (Jason Segel) "These aren't pajamas. It's a warm-up suit."
• (Dana Gaier) "What are you warming up for?"
• (Jason Segel) "Stuff."
• (Miranda Cosgrove) "What sort of stuff?"
• (Jason Segel) "Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand."
• (Elsie Fisher) "Like sleeping?"
• (Jason Segel) "THEY ARE NOT PAJAMAS."

• (Gru) "Kyle. These are not treats. These are guests."
• (Gru) "Girls, this is Kyle, my -- dog."
• (Elsie Fisher) "Ooh, fluffy doggie."
• (Miranda Cosgrove) "What kind of dog is that?"
• (Gru) "He's a -- I don't know."

Miranda Cosgrove as Margo

• (Gru) "Clearly we need to set some rules. Rule number one: You will not touch anything."
• (Miranda Cosgrove) "Aha. What about the floor?"
• (Gru) "Yes, you may touch the floor."
• (Miranda Cosgrove) "What about the air?"
• (Gru) "Yes, you may touch the air."
• (Dana Gaier) "What about this?"
• (Gru) "Where did you get that?"
• (Dana Gaier) "Found it."
• (Gru) "Okay, rule number two: You will not bother me while I'm working. Rule number three: You will not cry, or whine, or laugh, or giggle, or sneeze or barf or fart. So no, no, no annoying sounds. All right?"
• (Elsie Fisher) "Does this count as annoying?"
• (Gru) "Very."
• (Gru) "I'll see you in six hours."
• (Miranda Cosgrove) "Okay, don't worry. Everything is going to be fine. We're gonna be really happy here. Right? Agnes?"
• (Elsie Fisher) "Mmm?"

• (Miranda Cosgrove) "I bet the mom is beautiful."
• (Dana Gaier) "I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle."
• (Elsie Fisher) "I bet their house is made of gummy bears."
• (Elsie Fisher) "I'm just saying it'd be nice."

• (Miranda Cosgrove) "Just so you know, you're never going to be my dad."
• (Gru) "Hmm, I think I can live with that."

• (Miranda Cosgrove) "Hello? Cookies for sale."
• (Gru) "Go away, I'm not home."
• (Miranda Cosgrove) "Uh, yes, you are. I heard you."
• (Gru) "No, you didn't. This -- is a recording."
• (Miranda Cosgrove) "No, it isn't."
• (Gru) "Yes, it is. Watch this. Leave a message. Beep."
• (Elsie Fisher) "Goodbye, recorded message."
• (Miranda Cosgrove) "Agnes, come on."

• (Gru) "So, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them."
• (Gru) "Oh, and there's probably something in your closet."
• (Miranda Cosgrove) "He's just kidding, Agnes."

• (Miranda Cosgrove) "You gave us back."
• (Gru) "I know, I know, and it is the worst mistake I ever made."

Danny McBride as Fred McDade

• (Gru) "Hello, Fred. FYI. Your dog has been leaving little bombs in my yard, and I do not appreciate it."
• (Danny McBride) "Oh you know dogs -- they go where they want to go."
• (Gru) "Unless they're dead."
• (Gru) "I'm joking. Although it is true. Anyway, have a good one."

Will Arnett as Mr. Perkins

• (Will Arnett) "You don't have it? And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money?"
• (Gru) "Apparently."

• (Will Arnett) "Do you know where the shrink ray is?"
• (Jason Segel) "Duh? Back at my place."
• (Will Arnett) "Oh, is that right? Back at your place? Oh, that's cool. I guess Gru must just have one that LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE IT."
• (Jason Segel) "Oh. What? Th-those girls sold me cookies."

Kristen Wiig as Miss Hattie

• (Kristen Wiig) "Now, go clean something of mine."
• (Elsie Fisher) "Hi, Penny."
• (Unnamed) "Hi, guys."

• (Gru) "You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish?"
• (Kristen Wiig) "Do I look like I speak Spanish?"
• (Gru) "You have a face -- Como un burro."
• (Kristen Wiig) "Oh. Well, thank you."

• (Kristen Wiig) "I'm here for the girls. I recieved a call that you wanted to return them. And also, I did purchase a Spanish dictionary."
• (Kristen Wiig) "I didn't like what you said."

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