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Dr. Dolittle (1998 film) Quotes

Dr. Dolittle (1998 film) is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Dr. Dolittle completed its run in 1970.

It features John Davis; David T. Friendly, and Joseph M. Singer as producer, Richard Gibbs in charge of musical score, and Russell Boyd as head of cinematography.

Dr. Dolittle (1998 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Dr. Dolittle (1998 film) is 85 minutes long. Dr. Dolittle (1998 film) is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The cast includes: Norm Macdonald as Lucky, Chris Rock as Rodney, Oliver Platt as Dr. Mark Weller, Kristen Wilson as Lisa Dolittle, Tom Towles as Sheep, Kyla Pratt as Maya Dolittle, Jonathan Lipnicki as Tiger, Richard Schiff as Dr. Gene 'Geno' Reiss, Ossie Davis as Archer Dolittle, Paul Reubens as Raccoon, Jeff Doucette as Possum, Eddie Frierson as Skunk, Paul Giamatti as Blaine Hammersmith, Phyllis Katz as Goat, Hamilton Camp as Pig, Kerrigan Mahan as Penguin, Jenna Elfman as Owl, Julie Kavner as Female Pigeon, Garry Shandling as Male Pigeon, Gilbert Gottfried as Compulsive Dog, Tom Towles as German Shepherd, Jeffrey Tambor as Dr. Fish, Archie Hahn as Woman, and Raven-Symoné as Charisse Dolittle.

Dr. Dolittle (1998 film) Quotes

Jonathan Lipnicki as Tiger

  • (Jonathan Lipnicki) "Have you ever done this operation before?"
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Yeah, once in medical school. But it was to a cadaver. But my professor told me I did such a good job that, had my patient not been dead, he would've lived."
  • (Jonathan Lipnicki) "Very comforting, Doc."
  • (Jonathan Lipnicki) "-- Wait a minute. The dog gets to ride up front?"
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Stop looking at me like I'm a side dish."
  • (Jonathan Lipnicki) "Don't flatter yourself."
  • (Jonathan Lipnicki) "-- And now, on the day I end it all, I'd like to leave Margaret the bearded lady my rhinestone collar and my wet-dry shaver. I'd like to leave Jack the midget nothing. It's too late for you, Jack. You're a short --"
  • (Jonathan Lipnicki) "-- Hey, get out of there. You're in my landing space."
  • (Rat #2) "See if you land on your feet, Road-Kill."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "-- Coming right up; one order of man, side of dog."
  • (Jonathan Lipnicki) "Good-bye, cruel world. Oh no, I just remembered. I wanted to leave the whip to the baboon. One of the few animals which enjoy that kind of thing."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Hey, whoa. Take it easy now -- Remember that song "Eye of the Tiger," from ROCKY 3? When Rocky was fighting Mr. T, couldn't beat him; then Apollo Creed played "Eye of the Tiger" for him. Rocky beat the snot out of Mr. T because of "Eye of the Tiger." Because that song moved Rocky inside --"
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "-- Not Eye of the Moose, not Eye of the Bull, Eye of the TIGER."
  • (Jonathan Lipnicki) "That's it. I'm jumping."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Listen, I'm a doctor. Maybe I can help you. If I can't, then you can eat me AND Lucky."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Or just him."
  • (Jonathan Lipnicki) "All right. I just hope you're a better doctor than you are a singer."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Good job, Doc. Although, seeing a tiger jump 5 stories would have been really cool."
  • (Jonathan Lipnicki) "I heard that."
  • (Jonathan Lipnicki) "I just might hang myself by my underpants. I can get underpants. Well, not really."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "There's been plenty of great tigers."
  • (Jonathan Lipnicki) "Oh yeah? Name one"
  • (Norm Macdonald) "How about Tony?"
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Tony the cereal tiger?"
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Well I didn't hear you come up with anything."

Kristen Wilson as Lisa Dolittle

  • (Kristen Wilson) "Oh, my God. John, you didn't."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "No, I didn't. The van's around the corner. But don't tell me you don't care about money."
  • (Kristen Wilson) "Oh, my goodness; It's an owl."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Yeah; it's a big, nasty owl. Let's go in."
  • (Kristen Wilson) "It's beautiful."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "They're very dangerous: they can poke your eye out; take your finger off very easily -- all of that."
  • (Kristen Wilson) "He still thinks he can talk to animals."
  • (Ossie Davis) "He can Lisa. He can talk to animals. It started when he was young. I thought it was a handicap. But it's a gift Lisa"

Chris Rock as Rodney

  • (Chris Rock) "Hey, honey, feeling better?"
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Who's this?"
  • (Chris Rock) "I'll give you a hint: I'm cute, I'm furry, and I make five hundred babies a year."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Rodney. Get back in your cage."
  • (Chris Rock) "What's up with that trap behind the fridge? You trying to kill me?"
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Never mind that. Get your little furry ass back in your cage. Now. I don't want your droppings on -- Bye-bye."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "My son Rodney. Little hairy boy, sleeps in the cage. I have to keep him in the cage because he has hygiene problems."
  • (Chris Rock) "-- Come on, Doc. I'm getting whisker-whipped up here. Hey; this is cruel to animals."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "One more word, and I'm letting you out. I'll leave you in the wild. With the REAL animals. See how much talk you do when squirrels are kickin' your ass in."
  • (Chris Rock) "Fine, then I'll just sing."
  • (Chris Rock) "-- "The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind -- ""
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "SHUT UP."
  • (Chris Rock) "-- This guinea pig is blowin' in the wind."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "I can't hear you. I'm groovin'."
  • (Chris Rock) "-- Why do they call me "guinea pig," anyway? I'm not Italian, and I'm not pork --."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "SHUT UP, I SAID."
  • (Unnamed) "Mama?"
  • (Chris Rock) "Mama, I'm not ya mama."
  • (Unnamed) "Mama?"
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Oh, no, don't look at me -- Well, there was this one time I got drunk in the Everglades --"
  • (Chris Rock) "Okay, let's chill. Let's just chill."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "I'm not gonna chill."
  • (Chris Rock) "You gonna chill."
  • (Chris Rock) "Uh, what are you doing, switching sides?"
  • (Chris Rock) "Somebody get the license plate number. I have just been violated."
  • (Chris Rock) "Ooh, man; you scared the crap out of me. See? There it is."

Ossie Davis as Archer Dolittle

  • (5-Year-Old John Dolittle) "She was my best friend."
  • (Ossie Davis) "You'll make some real friends now."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "From that day on, John Dolittle never spoke to animals again."
  • (Ossie Davis) "Someday, you're gonna thank me for this."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "And after a while, all he could remember was that deep down inside, there was something missing."
  • (Ossie Davis) "-- John's always been able to talk with animals. I used to think it was a handicap, but it's not; it's a gift. Sometimes, daddies are the ones who need to change."

Raven-Symoné as Charisse Dolittle

  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "I don't know what all the fuss is about. We went and bought you that thing anyway. You got a pet. What was that pet rat thing that we bought?"
  • (Raven-Symoné) "A guinea pig."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "We got you the guinea rat, and the thing died. It's not our fault that it died."
  • (Kyla Pratt) "It didn't die. His name is Rodney, and he's in my room."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "So why are you bothering me about this swan? I'm going to work. I'm out of here. Good-bye."

Norm Macdonald as Lucky

  • (Norm Macdonald) "A little girl once called me "Please mommy, not him.""
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "How come I can hear you talking?"
  • (Norm Macdonald) "I dunno. Maybe you're just weird or something."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Shut up. You're a dog. DOGS CANNOT TALK."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "What the hell do you think barking is, an involuntary spasm?"
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Hi, I'm Lucky. It works on two levels, I love it."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "You know, they say the great thing about being a kid is, it's so easy to pretend. You can have a conversation with your dog or a baseball or a banana. Well, what if wasn't pretend? What if you could have a conversation. I mean, not with a baseball or a banana; that's ridiculous, but; but with your dog?"
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Oh, I'm so dizzy. All I see is line, line, line line."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "So look somewhere else."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Okay. Tree, tree, tree tree."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "What are you doing here?"
  • (Norm Macdonald) "You're unbelievable. I cross three parkways at night, no less, to come to rescue you, and all I get is "What are you doing here?""
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "This isn't a prison, it's a clinic."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Look, the tiger's in bad shape."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "The tiger? Hey, listen, forget the tiger. Let me tell you something. I had a perfect life until you came along and started talkin' to me. Now I'm sittin' in a robe and slippers discussin' "Mister Ed" with these guys. You've ruined my life enough. I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Just get outta here, please? Go. This is crazy."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Oh, I get it: now it's crazy to wanna save a tiger's life."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Look, tigers die everyday. It's called nature."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Well, let me tell you a little something about nature. I'm a dog, and I act like a dog. I don't try to be anybody else. We are who we are, and you are a doctor who can talk to animals. That's who you are."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "That is not who I am."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Stop lying to yourself."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Didn't I tell you to get outta here? Get outta here. Go. Get outta here."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Fine."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Quit comin' around and talkin' to me."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "With pleasure."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "YOU BETTER NOT COME BACK. AAAGH."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Bonehead."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Ruined his life. That's a laugh."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "AAAAGH."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "-- Oh, Mrs. Dolittle --."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Yeah, baby."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Excuse me just one second, OK?"
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Let's go."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "What a gyp."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "You mind if I have a little privacy, please?"
  • (Norm Macdonald) "But it's fine when people watch us dogs do it, huh?"
  • (Norm Macdonald) "-- Fine to turn on the garden hose. Hey, you want a tip on a good position?"
  • (Norm Macdonald) "-- I crossed three freeways to get here; at NIGHT, no less; and all you can say is "What are you doing here?""
  • (Norm Macdonald) "-- Just like his dad wanted, John Dolittle grew up to be a normal and regular guy; you know, miserable."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Hey, get out of here."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Hey, there's a vicious animal in the hallway."

Paul Reubens as Raccoon

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Jeffrey Tambor as Dr. Fish

  • (Jeffrey Tambor) "I have to interpret why the dog is whining. He can't tell me."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "What's to tell? There's a thermometer. It's in my butt."

Kyla Pratt as Maya Dolittle

  • (Kyla Pratt) "Grandpa, did Daddy learn how to be bossy from you?"
  • (Ossie Davis) "He certainly didn't learn it from his mother, God rest her soul."
  • (Kyla Pratt) "Daddy, what's Rodney doing on the roof?"
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "I thought the fresh air would do him good."
  • (Chris Rock) "Lunatic. Crazy man. Psycho."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "-- Daddy, we still got those BB guns I used to play with when I was little?"
  • (Kyla Pratt) "-- Does he do any tricks?"
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "He does a neat trick with a thermometer that's funny."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "I didn't say you were crazy, you're special, and crazy, a lot of great people in history were crazy."
  • (Kyla Pratt) "Like who?"
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Some of the greatest people in history. Albert Einstein, he came in with that wild hair and everybody thought he was crazy. And Muhammad Ali, he came out saying what rounds he was going to beat people in, going "I'm the greatest.", everybody thought he was crazy. And Joan of Arc, she heard voices."
  • (Kyla Pratt) "Like you, Daddy?"

Gilbert Gottfried as Compulsive Dog

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Paul Giamatti as Blaine Hammersmith

  • (Paul Giamatti) "-- John Dolittle. Who would have ever thought YOU would end up in a mental institution? Number one in our medical school class. Not that I'm jealous, John. Someone had to finish first."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Someone had to finish last, too."
  • (Paul Giamatti) "So, John -- You talk to animals now, do you? Would you like to tell me about it? Or would you rather tell my friend here; Bettelheim?"
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "I don't need to talk to your cat, Blain."
  • (Paul Giamatti) "Why, do you think he would talk back to you?"
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "He just might."
  • (Paul Giamatti) "And what would he say?"
  • (Bettleheim the Cat) "I'd say Blain Hammersmith was a butthead."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "I really like this cat."

Oliver Platt as Dr. Mark Weller

  • (Oliver Platt) "-- John, Gene has got qualms about the new proposal."
  • (Richard Schiff) "I'm worried that, if we let a big company like Calnet take us over, we're not gonna be us anymore. We'd be; THEM."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Let me explain something: THEM has the best hospitals and laboratories; and THEM is gonna pay us a very big, giant amount of money."
  • (Oliver Platt) "When I think about the money, I get teary -- Saturday morning, we're meeting the Calnet people."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Whoa. I'm supposed to take my family to the country this weekend."
  • (Oliver Platt) "Well, don't."
  • (Richard Schiff) "You see, it's happening already: you're being forced to neglect your family."
  • (Oliver Platt) "Gene, relax. No such thing. OK, Saturday morning. And Gene; no tank tops, please."
  • (Oliver Platt) "-- You're not gonna believe what I got for us, John: corporate cars every two years."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Hey, Mark -- Do you remember when we first started out? We had those crummy offices, at the worst neighborhood in town. We got paid almost no money."
  • (Oliver Platt) "I've blocked it out."
  • (Oliver Platt) "John, do me a favor. Don't ever confide in me. I'm utterly useless in these areas. I'm really a very self-absorbed man."

Hamilton Camp as Pig

  • (Hamilton Camp) "-- Good evening, Doctor."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "-- No. You're gonna have to take your fat ass back out."
  • (Kerrigan Mahan) "Oh, my God. What a zoo."
  • (Hamilton Camp) "Hmm, obviously not a kosher establishment."
  • (Unnamed) "Where are the chicks? Ooh. I'm cool."
  • (Hamilton Camp) "-- Very well-appointed sty."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "What's going on? What is all this?"
  • (Jenna Elfman) "I don't know. You know, tell a friend. Ha ha."
  • (Norm Macdonald) "Looks like they need to talk to a doctor, Doc."
  • (Tom Towles) "Our butts hurt."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Okay. Let's do this. And watch your droppings."
  • (Chris Rock) "Tonight, this is the house of love. East Coast. West Coast. Let's unite. Is Brooklyn in the house?"

Tom Towles as German Shepherd

  • (Tom Towles) "Beep, beep, we're the sheep."
  • (Tom Towles) "No. Don't fix me. DON'T fix me. I'll never look at another female ever, I swear. Just don't take my manhood, man. Anything but my ma --"
  • (Tom Towles) "Yo baby wassup, you lookin' pretty sweet there sugar."

Julie Kavner as Female Pigeon

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Phyllis Katz as Goat

  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "-- This should take care of the inflammation. The only problem is, who'll wipe it on for you?"
  • (Phyllis Katz) "Does Brad Pitt need a goat?"

Archie Hahn as Woman

  • (Archie Hahn) "Need some help?"
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Oh, no, I'm; we're; we're fine. I'm just stretching my legs a little here."
  • (Chris Rock) "Ask her if she's got any lettuce."
  • (Dr. John Dolittle) "Shut your mouth. Shut your furry little mouth right now."

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