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Due Date Quotes

Due Date is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Due Date ended its run in 1970.

It features Todd Phillips, Daniel Goldberg, and Susan Downey as producer, Christophe Beck in charge of musical score, and Lawrence Sher as head of cinematography.

Due Date is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Due Date is 95 minutes long. Due Date is distributed by Warner Bros..

The cast includes: Zach Galifianakis as Ethan Tremblay, Robert Downey Jr. as Peter Highman, Matt Walsh as TSA Agent, Juliette Lewis as Heidi, Todd Phillips as Barry, Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper, Danny McBride as Lonnie, and Michelle Monaghan as Sarah Highman.

Due Date Quotes

Zach Galifianakis as Ethan Tremblay

  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Give me a scene."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Okay, I'm Julia Roberts. We are engaged to be married. You have terminal cancer. Break the news to me."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Julia Roberts, as you know, we are engaged to be married. I have terminal cancer."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Awful, just awful. I didn't buy into that one bit."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "I thought that was really good."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Where's your dad?"
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Uh -- no idea."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "When's the last time you saw him?"
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "1977. He had his bags packed at the door and he picked them up and put in the back of his car. And, uh, drove away. Last time I ever saw him."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "That's so funny. My dad would never do that, he loved me."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "My father always had a saying "When a day starts like this it's all uphill from here."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Uphill? No, it's all downhill from here."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "But nobody wants to be down, everybody wants to be up. It's all uphill from here."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "But it's easier to go downhill. So your dad had no idea what the f*** he was talking about."
  • (Juliette Lewis) "That was really good, especially the second paragraph about the killing."
  • (Todd Phillips) "Really good."
  • (Juliette Lewis) "Did you write that?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "No, the mafia did."
  • (Border Crossing Agent) "Why are your eyes so glassy? You been partying?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "No, I have glaucoma."
  • (Border Crossing Agent) "What about the dog? Does he have glaucoma? His eyes are glassy too."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Dr. Greene says it happens all the time. You know, ultrasounds aren't always reliable."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Right."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Little Rosie."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Rosie? Little Rosie Highman. Does that sound strange to you?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Oh, jeepers creepers. He's right. He's right."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "What do you mean "he's right"?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Ethan Tremblay is my stage name."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "I'm an actor."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Stage name."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Yeah."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "What is your real name?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Ethan Chase, but it doesn't sound like an actor's name."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Ethan Chase sounds like the name of an actor. Ethan Tremblay doesn't make any god**** sense. Okay? It's confusing. It sounds like it was made up --"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Yeah. I made it up."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Ethan, I know you made it up. It's your f***ing stage name. Why did you have my wife wire money to your stage name?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "I wasn't thinking."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Right."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "I'm just trying to commit to the new name --"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Dad -- You were like a father to me."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Holy Moses, it's like I'm traveling with a child."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Have you used the restroom?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Good point, I need to take a pee-pee."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "My father loved coffee, and now we loved him as coffee."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "I got ninety friends on Facebook, twelve of them are pending, but I got ninety friends."

Robert Downey Jr. as Peter Highman

  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Why are your father's ashes in a coffee can?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Because he's dead, Peter."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "I'm sorry I spat on your dog. I have no recollection of that."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Okay, I've calmed down a bit."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "You ready to apologize?"
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "What? f*** you."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "I have to get back to Los Angeles."
  • (Matt Walsh) "Have you ever seen the movie Forrest Gump? He ran across the U.S. and he was pretty stupid. I have faith in you."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "That was William Shakespeare. Have you heard of him?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Yes, I've heard of Shakespeare. He was a famous pirate."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "The dog is masturbating."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "I just had the strangest dream. It's Friday. We're at the hospital. But it's not a hospital, it's a, a, a forest of sorts. And I know that because right next to you there's a bear. A grizzly, cooling his feet in a stream. And all of a sudden, you begin to deliver, and I can't get to you. But the bear can. And the next thing I know, he is holding our beautiful baby boy. And here's where it gets odd. Uh, he chews the cord. But, strangely, I'm okay with it. That's gotta be a good sign."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "I didn't sleep last night. I'm gonna try now."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Well you really should have masturbated, cuz I had a glorious orgasm and I slept like a baby."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "I despise who you are on a cellular level."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Okay, I've heard that before and I'm trying to work on it."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Okay, it's the Super Bowl. You're a coach with a spotty career. You are down 31-0 at halftime and you need to motivate your team."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "That wouldn't work in a movie."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "You kidding me? It's in a movie every two years."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Come on guys. You, Allan, you're playing like a girl out there. What are you, a girl or something? You, Smith, what are you, a girl or something?"
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Okay, your wife calls. She wants a divorce."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "The coach's wife?"
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Yes, the coach. The character you're playing."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Come on, guys."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Hold on a minute, guys. Hello? What? You're leaving me? No. I can't have this happening to me. My dad died, and now this."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "You are a colonel in my platoon and you promised to get me home to my high school sweetheart."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "I'm sorry. I puked into the wound."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "That's okay."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Get in the back, private. What are you, a girl or something?"
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "How have you made it this far? How have you not run yourself over in a car?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "I've done that."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "I'm telling you. I wouldn't make it up."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "You sure? I could've sworn I read it was man-made."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Nope. Not correct. Very old. Formed over time. Grand Canyon. Known fact."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Peter, I have a photogenic memory. I have recall for --"
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Ethan, I promise you. It's old. It's the Grand Canyon, it's not Hoover Dam."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Well, I know it's not the Hoover Dam, that was built by the Pilgrims."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Also incorrect."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "What were you thinking when you spent almost all of our money on drugs?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "I don't think in those terms."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "What terms do you think in?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "I'm not an accountant, Peter. I'm not even Jewish."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Are you an adult?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Of course I'm an adult. I'm 23 years old."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "You are the most shot-out 23-year-old I've ever seen. How have you made it this far? How have you not run yourself over in a car?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "I've done that."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "How have you survived? That's my question."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Mostly luck."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "Yeah. That's what I thought. Just dumb f***ing luck."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "I'm sorry we drank your father."

Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper

  • (Charlie Sheen) "You got any more pot?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Not for $9 an hour I don't -- I mean, I don't know what you're talking about."

Danny McBride as Lonnie

  • (Danny McBride) "It's closing time, time to roll to Chili's and chow down with my f***in' boys."

Michelle Monaghan as Sarah Highman

  • (Michelle Monaghan) "You love him, you now you love him."
  • (Robert Downey Jr.) "I survived him. There's a difference."

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