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Duplex (film) Quotes

Duplex (film) is a television show that debuted in 1970 . Duplex completed its run in 1970.

It features Drew Barrymore; Stuart Cornfeld; Larry Doyle; Nancy Juvonen, Jeremy Kramer, and Ben Stiller as producer, David Newman (composer) in charge of musical score, and Anastas Michos as head of cinematography.

Duplex (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Duplex (film) is 89 minutes long. Duplex (film) is distributed by Miramax Films.

The cast includes: Ben Stiller as Alex Rose, Eileen Essell as Mrs. Connelly, Drew Barrymore as Nancy Kendricks, James Remar as Chick, and Wallace Shawn as Herman.

Duplex (film) Quotes

Drew Barrymore as Nancy Kendricks

  • (Drew Barrymore) "Mrs. Connelly, let me come right to the point. Alex and I are trying to have a baby."
  • (Eileen Essell) "I saw. In the living room."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "Right. The thing is that when we do have our baby, we're gonna need the upstairs."
  • (Eileen Essell) "I don't understand dear."
  • (Ben Stiller) "We're willing to pay you -- something."
  • (Eileen Essell) "You want me to leave?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Don't you think you'd be more comfortable with people who are more in your -- demographic?"
  • (Drew Barrymore) "In sunny Miami Beach."
  • (Eileen Essell) "I'm Irish. I'd sizzle up like a sausage. Besides, this is my home."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Home? The Emerald Isle. Back to the old sod."
  • (Eileen Essell) "Now there's a thought. I haven't been back home for fifty years."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "Do you realize how much the duplex is going to be worth once we get both floors?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "I know how much it costs."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "Well it's going to be worth a bazillion times that."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Really? A bazillion? That's an incredible return."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "Okay, come on. We don't have that much time."
  • (Ben Stiller) "I know. She's running errands. That only gives us twelve hours."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "So this has what it's come to? I don't think I've ever held a real gun be-"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Ahh."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "We're totally screwed, right?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "I would say screwed is apt."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "Do you think that Jean would ever give you a second chance?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "No. It's over. Besides, how could I have time to rewrite my novel and still do my faithful servant duty to her as her little indentured servant person. Her little butt boy. I got a lot of duties honey. She might need me to go out and count grapes with her or go help her fix her heater or go take her to the laundry or I gotta go help her clean her banana skins and I gotta go help her clean out her garbage and I gotta go help her fiddle her monthlies out or go and wipe her ass. God forbid she should have any s*** hanging off her ass."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "Alex."
  • (Ben Stiller) "No, really. Cause then I gotta run up there double time like a little bunny and I gotta go up there with my little tissue and I gotta go wipe her little ass and then I gotta go, "Oh, good for you Mrs. Connelly. Good for you for having such a nice little poopy. Oh, what's that? You got some poopy on your dipy? Oh, then, let me go clean it off with my tongue." I mean enough is enough."

Ben Stiller as Alex Rose

  • (Ben Stiller) "So Chick, how much is this gonna set us back?"
  • (James Remar) "25K."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Okay, 'cause we had had a slightly different figure in our heads. We were thinking of something a little closer to like half a K."
  • (Ben Stiller) "I can't work here. I've been trying. It's impossible. I've written three pages in the last six weeks. Three pages. The book is due on Wednesday. If we don't hand in the book I don't know what we're gonna do. We can't pay for anything. We can't pay for the runners, for the stools. We can't pay for the tanned jello bowl that you like. We can't pay for your little happy mug vase thing."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "Well, what if you got out of the house for a little while and went to write at, like a Starbucks or something?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "And what? You're gonna stay here and try to find work while she has you running around doing things for her? Doing all the little errands, all the little chores that she asks you to do? I don't think you could take it. I love you, but honestly, I've been there and I don't think you could take it."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "I can take it. I'll be fine."
  • (Ben Stiller) "What are we? Hobbits?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "You threw her down the stairs?"
  • (Drew Barrymore) "No, but I imagined it and I liked it. I'm evil. I'm a horrible, horrible person."
  • (Ben Stiller) "No, she's practically ruined our lives. It's perfectly natural to have thoughts like that."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "Really?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Yeah. I've even had a couple."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "Like what?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Just, you know, snapping her neck, electrocuting her, beating her to death, decapitating her, drowning her, bludgeoning her, in a humane way. Dicing her up into little pieces, but asphyxiating her first so she didn't feel anything."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "I'm glad you clarified that. You're evil too."
  • (Ben Stiller) "She's watching Riverdance. I didn't know people still watched Riverdance."
  • (Ben Stiller) "He said we didn't need it but he gave me his book for my collection. He wrote it in three days. Wanna know how? Okay, here it is, " Her hair was the color of your pee after you take a multi vitamin". Stupid asshole and your Don Piper mysteries and your pregnant wife whose baby is gonna have a freakin' six pack cause his mother never eats."
  • (Ben Stiller) "I'm not gonna pay for unauthorized repairs."
  • (Unnamed) "I did the work, my friend. I can rip the pipes out of the wall."
  • (Ben Stiller) "What?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "I don't know. I don't know what you're saying."
  • (Unnamed) "Do it. Do it."
  • (Ben Stiller) "You do it. You do it."

Wallace Shawn as Herman

  • (Wallace Shawn) "Nancy, did you finish the celebrity scene page?"
  • (Drew Barrymore) "Oh, tickity-boo."
  • (Wallace Shawn) "I don't know what that means."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "It means I'll have it soon."
  • (Wallace Shawn) "Well, if you mean I'll have it soon, then why don't you say I'll have it soon? I mean, tickity-boo is just confusing for everybody."

Eileen Essell as Mrs. Connelly

  • (Eileen Essell) "Mr. Rose, could you sprinkle some salt on the steps. They're terribly icy."
  • (Ben Stiller) "You better not go outside then."
  • (Eileen Essell) "I knew they'd send a brute."
  • (Eileen Essell) "I don't drink meself, it's a sin."
  • (Eileen Essell) "23 -- 24 -- 25 --"
  • (Ben Stiller) "26 -- 27 -- 28 -- 29 -- 30."
  • (Eileen Essell) "Oh. Blueberries. One -- two -- three -- four --"
  • (Eileen Essell) "I couldn't help noticing that Alex left the house this morning while you stayed home."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "I was downsized from my job."
  • (Eileen Essell) "Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm sure it's for the best. Let Mr. Rose get out there and bring home the bacon. I always thought it was strange your husband staying home while you were out there providing."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "Well, he's a writer."
  • (Eileen Essell) "Writer? The man naps more than a newborn pup. What's he writing about? Sheep?"

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