Dutch (film) Quotes

Dutch (film) is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Dutch ended in 1970.

It features Robert Weissman as producer, and Alan Silvestri in charge of musical score.

Dutch (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Dutch (film) is 107 minutes long. Dutch (film) is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The cast includes: Ed O'Neill as Dutch, Ethan Embry as Doyle, JoBeth Williams as Natalie, and Christopher McDonald as Reed.

Dutch (film) Quotes

Ethan Embry as Doyle

• (Ethan Embry) "We have a very big problem here."
• (Ed O'Neill) "I suppose we do. I have a problem because I told your mother I'd pick you up. And you have a problem because the last guy that punched me has a dent in his forehead the size of my pinky ring, and he dribbles when he smiles."

• (Ethan Embry) "You still gonna shoot me in the ass?"
• (Ed O'Neill) "Yes."

• (Ethan Embry) "You have no plan, do you?"
• (Ed O'Neill) "I have a rough outline."

• (Ethan Embry) "My father is one of the most powerful men in this country. When he hears what you did to me, he'll sue your working-class ass into complete and total destitution."

• (Ethan Embry) "What won't make me vomit?"

• (Ethan Embry) "Does campus security know you're here?"
• (Ed O'Neill) "Can you say, "I'm sorry I hit you with a golf club? Kicked your face? Mashed your testes? Shot you twice?" If that's too much, a simple "hello" would do."
• (Ethan Embry) "Answer my question."
• (Ed O'Neill) "You can't say that?"
• (Ethan Embry) "Of course I can say it."
• (Ethan Embry) "I choose not to."
• (Ed O'Neill) "Now can you?"
• (Ethan Embry) "No."
• (Ed O'Neill) "Well, then I have to shoot you. Now, since we might be legally related someday, I'll give you the option of taking it on the backside. Won't hurt as bad."

• (Ethan Embry) "I could have frozen to death, you asshole."
• (Ed O'Neill) "I don't think you would have frozen. Not solid, anyway, it's not quite cold enough for that. Here's the deal, Dobsie: I don't screw around. You piss me off, I react. I'm not your daddy, I'm not your friend, I'm not your uncle. I'm a working-class nobody, and I don't take crap from kiddies."

• (Ethan Embry) "I don't hate my mother. For the record."
• (Ed O'Neill) "Kiss my ass for the record."

• (Ethan Embry) "Fireworks are illegal in Illinois."
• (Ed O'Neill) "Yes they are but this is Tennessee, so it doesn't matter."
• (Ethan Embry) "You're gonna detonate this material now?"
• (Ed O'Neill) "No not here in the gas station, you nuts? We'll go down the road a piece. I got M80s, Dragon Tongues, Bombay Bugles, Jersey Stinkers, Ha ha ha I don't even know what this is. For later I got a bag of pretzels and a deck of racy playing cards."
• (Ethan Embry) "You're like a great big demented child."
• (Ed O'Neill) "Hee hee hee hee hee."

• (Ethan Embry) "Someone from any sort of decent background would knock. And she's not my "mom". I don't have a "ma". You, may have a "ma". I have a mother. Okay?"
• (Teddy) "Do you want to take the call, s***-head?"

• (Ethan Embry) "You know, some day you're gonna get in a situation where you can't call for help. You'll have to depend on yourself, and you'll let yourself down. I'm not calling because I don't want your mother to think we can't make it home on our own. Call it male pride. Good, old fashioned, pig-headed, working-class, pre-fax machine/car phone, masculine pride. No accountants, no lawyers, no mommies, no daddies -- no Washington lobbyists. Just a man and his wits."

Ed O'Neill as Dutch

• (Ed O'Neill) "What do you like to do for fun?"
• (Ed O'Neill) "Oh, you like to wiggle and grunt. Me too."

• (Ed O'Neill) "You might be the toughest little whacker at the junior high but in my world, you're about as worrisome as a cloudy day."

• (Ed O'Neill) "You got anything to say? Me, I like to talk. I love to talk. Live to talk. You got any amusing anecdotes?"
• (Ethan Embry) "I'm living through one right now."

• (Ed O'Neill) "I don't care for caviar, I make it a policy never to eat something a fish deposits in a riverbed."

• (Ed O'Neill) "I've talked to you and talked to you until I can puke coat hangers."

• (Ed O'Neill) "Nothing burps better than bacon. Your water looked tasty."

• (Ed O'Neill) "I told your mother I'd take you home for the holidays."
• (Ethan Embry) "I have plans."
• (Ed O'Neill) "You gonna stay here? Watch the football game on TV? Make a turkey sandwich and hang yourself in the toilet?"

• (Ed O'Neill) "Act like you're not gonna get $10,000,000 when you're 21."

• (Ed O'Neill) "How do you know I'm working-class?"
• (Ethan Embry) "From your cheap shoes, to your ridiculous hairstyle, to your crude vocabulary, to my mother's taste in men, you scream it."
• (Ed O'Neill) "And is working-class bad."
• (Ethan Embry) "If you want to get into a political discussion with me, I'll shred you. No, it's not bad. A solid economy needs hand workers."

• (Ed O'Neill) "I still owe you that shot in the ass, in case it's gnawing on your mind."

• (Ed O'Neill) "You and I are riding in the back seat from now on. Because what that missile twister can teach you, you don't need to learn 'til you're in prison."

• (Ed O'Neill) "Frankly, I don't care if you live, die, or grow mushrooms in your crack."

• (Ed O'Neill) "I may not look like I could finance a trip to the zoo but the truth is I make a pretty good living. My income is a damn lot more than your father gives your mother to live on. But my money doesn't matter in your neighborhood, because I work for it. Working for your money doesn't matter in your neck of the woods, it's whose crotch the doctor yanked you out of."

• (Ed O'Neill) "I feel the pain in my crotch in my teeth."

• (Ed O'Neill) "Well, I won't cop to that, but I will say this. There's one thing I can do that you can't --"
• (Ethan Embry) "Oh yeah? What?"
• (Ed O'Neill) "-- I can pay for my breakfast."

• (Ed O'Neill) "Listen you little son of a bitch, you could've killed someone with a stunt like that. That poor bastard was on his way home to see his family and because you wanted to play some kind of a spoiled brat prank, you put his life in jeopardy. Now what gives you the right to do that?"
• (Ethan Embry) "I guess I didn't think about that."
• (Ed O'Neill) "Well you better start thinking about a little something else besides your own spoiled ass. I took on this idiotic assignment because I love your mother. I gotta wonder how nuts I am. Man I've met some scum in my life but you beat all, man, you are absolutely worthless. You know what, this is a full blown mission, you're not gonna beat me. I've had my head split open, my nose mashed, I've been kicked and beat and left for dead, and when I set you on your mama's doorstep, you're gonna be one whipped little puppy."

• (Ed O'Neill) "It's your mother's fault."
• (Ethan Embry) "Why is it her fault?"
• (Ed O'Neill) "Because she gave birth to you."
• (Ethan Embry) "And what about your mother?"
• (Ed O'Neill) "My mother's a saint."
• (Ethan Embry) "For what, havin' puppies?"

• (Ed O'Neill) "You really are a hypocrite, aren't you? A couple 'o hookers"
• (Ed O'Neill) "a couple 'o hookers got a set of rockets, that's okay, but everyone else who enters your station in life is scum?"

JoBeth Williams as Natalie

• (JoBeth Williams) "You wouldn't dare play fair, would you?"
• (Christopher McDonald) "I wouldn't dare lose."

• (Party Woman) "Pardon my incredulity, Natalie, but I'm very surprised to see you here. Pleasantly so, of course."
• (JoBeth Williams) "I'm a little surprised to see myself here, too, Mary Alice. Pleasantly so, of course."
• (Party Woman) "Were you here last year?"
• (JoBeth Williams) "No, I wasn't invited last year."
• (Party Woman) "Oh, curious. That must have been an accident. Oh, do you know Libby?"
• (JoBeth Williams) "No, I don't believe I do."
• (Party Woman) "Libby, this is Natalie Standish. Natalie is Reed's -- Oh, is it alright to --"
• (JoBeth Williams) "Say that Reed got me pregnant when I was a barhop at your country club? Married me to avoid scandal? Spent the next ten years sucking the life out of me? Got bored with me, dumped me, and screwed me in court? Sure, go ahead."
• (Party Woman) "Uh -- Natalie is Reed's ex-wife."

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