Easy A Quotes

Easy A is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Easy A stopped airing in 1970.

It features Zanne Devine, and Will Gluck as producer, and Michael Grady as head of cinematography.

Easy A is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Easy A is 92 minutes long. Easy A is distributed by Screen Gems.

The cast includes: Emma Stone as Olive Penderghast, Patricia Clarkson as Rosemary, Bryce Clyde Jenkins as Chip, Stanley Tucci as Dill, Dan Byrd as Brandon, Mahaley Manning as Nina, Malcolm McDowell as Principal Gibbons, Amanda Bynes as Marianne, Thomas Haden Church as Mr. Griffith, Penn Badgley as Woodchuck Todd, Aly Michalka as Rhiannon, Lalaine as Gossipy Girl, Lisa Kudrow as Mrs. Griffith, Aly Michalka as Evan, Jake Sandvig as Anson, and Fred Armisen as Pastor.

Easy A Quotes

Dan Byrd as Brandon

• (Dan Byrd) "Is there an Olive here?"
• (Patricia Clarkson) "There's a whole jar of them in the fridge."

• (Dan Byrd) "I'm drunk. What's up, bitches?"

• (Dan Byrd) "So what's with your new look? It's very whore couture."
• (Emma Stone) "Oh, haven't you heard? I'm the new school slut."
• (Dan Byrd) "You know, I did hear something. I also heard he was twice your age."
• (Emma Stone) "Oh, no no no no. He was a freshman in college."
• (Dan Byrd) "I also heard he gave you crabs."
• (Emma Stone) "Ew. People suck."
• (Dan Byrd) "Tell me about it."

• (Dan Byrd) "Do you wanna go out with me?"
• (Emma Stone) "Brandon, just a couple of hours ago you told me you were Kinsey 6 gay."
• (Dan Byrd) "You said I should pretend to be straight."
• (Emma Stone) "I didn't mean with me."
• (Dan Byrd) "I am tormented every day at school. Just one good, imaginary fling."

• (Dan Byrd) "You don't have to be so aggressive about it."
• (Emma Stone) "What, you don't like that?"
• (Emma Stone) "You don't like that."
• (Dan Byrd) "NO, I don't like that."

Emma Stone as Olive Penderghast

• (Emma Stone) "All I could think was, "Great, now I'm a tramp. I'll have to get a lower back tattoo and pierce something not on my face.""

• (Emma Stone) "Whether I liked it or not, I had a lot of customers. Phil Lord gave me 100 bucks from Best Buy so he could tell people we hooked up behind the library. I got 50 dollars from TJ Max so Eric Ling could say we got it on during Chemistry. Ninety dollars from Panda Express so Brain Dukes could say I showed him mine, but he did NOT show me his."

• (Emma Stone) "I might even lose my virginity to him. I don't know when it will happen. You know, maybe in five minutes, or tonight, or six months from now, or maybe on the night of our wedding. But the really amazing thing is, it is nobody's god**** business."

• (Emma Stone) "Relax. Jesus. What is with you gays? Are you really that repulsed by lady parts? What do you think I have down there? A gnome?"

• (Emma Stone) "It's not true."
• (Aly Michalka) "It wasn't the left tit? It was the right one. I always pegged you for a south paw."
• (Aly Michalka) "Pow. Pow."
• (Emma Stone) "Will you listen to me for a second, please? It didn't happen."
• (Aly Michalka) "Yeah, right. Your secret's safe with me, you little sex monkey."

• (Emma Stone) "She is the most popular girl in school. It's partly because she's pretty and has perfect; but mostly because her parents let her have these huge parties every time she catching them doing it in the pool."
• (Emma Stone) "Which is every week -- apparently."

• (Emma Stone) "If you're still with me; and I'm hoping most of you are; this bring us to part 4."
• (Emma Stone) "How I, Olive Penderghast, went from assumed trollop to an actual home-wrecker."

• (Emma Stone) "So it was time to put an end to this once and for all by telling my side of the story. And that's why I decided to do this webcast. So here we go. Part Five:"
• (Emma Stone) "Not with a fizzle, but with a bang."

• (Emma Stone) "Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life."

• (Emma Stone) "Don't you think it's a little strange that your boyfriend is 22 years old and still in high school?"
• (Amanda Bynes) "Not that it's any of your busniess, trollop, but he is here by choice."
• (Emma Stone) "So it's his choice that he's a fourth year senior who can't pass any test he takes?"
• (Amanda Bynes) "No, silly,"
• (Amanda Bynes) "His. His, with a capital H. If God wanted him to graduate, then God would have given him the right answers."
• (Emma Stone) "I'm sorry, but you gotta be s***tin' me, woman."

• (Emma Stone) "That's the one thing that trumps religion -- capitalism."

• (Emma Stone) "Let the record show that I, Olive Penderghast, being of sound mind and below average breast size, swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth -- starting now."

• (Emma Stone) "Not now, Quiznos."
• (Quiznos Guy) "You're a slut."

• (Emma Stone) "I could have chlamydia. I have been -- whoring around a lot."
• (Lisa Kudrow) "No, honey. No, you haven't. Because a real whore can't even admit it to herself, let alone another person."

• (Emma Stone) "I didn't know what they were so upset about; I put an "A" on my wardrobe just like they asked. Maybe it was because I was wearing clothes that were two sizes too small."

• (Emma Stone) "And here you all are. Waiting for me outside the bedroom door for me to kiss Todd. Listening to me pretend to have sex with Brandon. Paying me to lie for you, and calling me every name in the book. And you know what? It was just like Hester in The Scarlet Letter. Except that's the one thing movies don't tell you: how s***ty it feels to be an outcast. Warranted or not."

• (Emma Stone) "I think we should just put this conversation to bed."
• (Aly Michalka) "Fine. Don't come camping with us, just know I hate you, bitch. Go get your chocolate milk."

• (Emma Stone) "A is for Awesome."

• (Emma Stone) "I was just wondering if there's a minster around?"
• (Emma Stone) "Is it not a minister?"
• (Emma Stone) "A reverend?"
• (Emma Stone) "A wizard?"

• (Emma Stone) "Due to his "condition," Micah was sent on an extended visit to his grandparents' in Palatka, Florida. And if there's one thing worse than chlamydia, it's Florida."

• (Emma Stone) "Which brings us to Part Two"
• (Emma Stone) "The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude. Which really is just my obnoxious way of saying lies travel fast. And, boy, did my Terminological Inexactitude accelerate with velocity."

• (Emma Stone) "The funny thing is, the whole time this all was going down, I couldn't help thinking I could have come up with better signs."
• (Emma Stone) "Although, you gotta love the Quizno's guy: it's the one thing that triumphs religion; capitalism."

• (Emma Stone) "Ironically, we were studying "The Scarlet Letter", but isn't that always the way? The books you read in class always seems to have a strong connection with whatever angsty adolescent drama is being recounted. I consider this. Except for "Huckleberry Finn", 'cause I don't know any teenage boys who have ever run away with a big, hulking black guy."

• (Emma Stone) "I was just wondering what your church's stance on lying and adultery was?"
• (Fred Armisen) "It's not a good thing."
• (Emma Stone) "Oh, I agree wholeheartedly. But then, tell me this: assuming there is a Hell --"
• (Fred Armisen) "Oh, the Christian church recognizes the existence of Hell."
• (Emma Stone) "OK, so we'll just say there's a "Hell" --"
• (Fred Armisen) "There is. Just so we're clear."
• (Emma Stone) "OK, but for argument's sake --"
• (Fred Armisen) "No, there's no argument, it's there. Right below our feet. Right above the Orient."

• (Emma Stone) "I need to get my business in order before I drag you into it."
• (Penn Badgley) "What if I told you I wanna be dragged into it? I could help, maybe."
• (Emma Stone) "Why now? Why are you all of a sudden into me now?"
• (Penn Badgley) "I don't know. I haven't overanalyzed it, like you're about to."

• (Emma Stone) "The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated."

• (Emma Stone) "This was just a free preview; for the main event log onto "www.freeolive.com" tonight at six p.m. And I know it interferes with the basketball game; but come on, would you rather be here cheering on the Woodchucks or watch me do one?"

• (Emma Stone) "That's the beauty of being a girl in high-school: people hear you had sex once and BAM; you're a bimbo."

• (Emma Stone) "Marianne Bryant is the secretary of the student council, chairman of the Orange Blossom Dance Committee, and president of the Cross Your Heart Club; a club dedicated to shoving their beliefs down people's throats."

• (Emma Stone) "Let me just begin by saying that there are two sides to every story. This is my side, the right one."

• (Emma Stone) "I started piling on lie after lie. It was like setting up Jenga."

• (High School Student) "Hey Olive. How's it going?"
• (Emma Stone) "I'm swell, guy-I've-never-laid-eyes-on-before. Thanks for asking."

• (Emma Stone) "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. I think that's how you're supposed to start these things. I'm only going on what I've seen in the movies. Where do I even start? I've been pretending to be a; how would one phrase it in Catholic words? A harlot. It's not like I've actually been doing the things that people are saying I'm doing, but; then again; I'm not denying them, so I've just been wondering: is that wrong? It was just that a lot of people had been asking me to do things and I thought it was okay, because it wasn't real. It was make-believe and no one was getting hurt. But a lot of people hate me now."
• (Emma Stone) "I kind of hate me, too."
• (Emma Stone) "I could be wrong, but aren't you supposed to say something or ask me questions? Tell me to say 'Hail Marys'? Hello?"
• (Emma Stone) "Oh, come on."

• (Emma Stone) "It should come as no surprise that the rumor that I was soliciting sex for money spread around school faster than --"
• (Emma Stone) "well faster than the first rumor about me spread."

• (Emma Stone) "Her parents are the weirdest people I've ever met; and I live in California."

• (Emma Stone) "Can you not see that I'm a mess?"
• (Patricia Clarkson) "No, you're not, Olive. You're wonderful. And you'll handle this the same way I did. With an incontrovertible sense of humor. But you're much smarter than I am -- so you'll come out of this much better than I did."
• (Emma Stone) "Thank you, Mom."

• (Emma Stone) "Welcome. This is where the magic happens. And as we all know, by "magic" I mean "nothing.""

• (Emma Stone) "Seriously, a coupon? 20% off of Bath and Body Works. Is that how much our imaginary tryst meant to you? I fake rocked your world."
• (Unnamed) "It's all I can afford."
• (Emma Stone) "How is that my problem, amigo?"
• (Emma Stone) "I knew he wasn't Latino, but for some reason all these shady -- backdoor deals had me talking like Carlito."
• (Emma Stone) "Beat it, ese."
• (Unnamed) "Okay."

• (Emma Stone) "Blech. Worst song ever."

• (Emma Stone) "I just thought of the funniest thing. My name is an anagram for "I love"."
• (Jake Sandvig) "What -- what's an anagram?"
• (Emma Stone) "Look it up big boy."

• (Emma Stone) "What's your problem?"
• (Aly Michalka) "You really want to know what my problem is?"
• (Emma Stone) "No, actually, that was a rhetorical question. I don't want to know anything from you."
• (Aly Michalka) "We are not friends anymore."
• (Emma Stone) "Oh."
• (Aly Michalka) "We are officially over."
• (Emma Stone) "OH RATS."
• (Aly Michalka) "Hey, I want my Juicy sweatshirt back. It's way too loose around your chest anyway."
• (Emma Stone) "Ohhhhh, burn."

• (Emma Stone) "So they got Rhiannon. Never underestimate the power of extremists like Marianne. They sense any weaknesses, they pounce like jungle cats. And the whack pack just gets bigger and bigger. But at least they have a pack. I was used to being by myself, but I have never felt more alone."

• (Emma Stone) "I hope you don't mind, but we had a few pre-cocktail party cocktails -- like before the cocktail party -- with cocktails."

• (Emma Stone) "I'm not proud of this."

• (Emma Stone) "For those of you who haven't read The Scarlet Letter, or for those of you who said you did, but really didn't, here's"
• (Emma Stone) "all you need to know."
• (Emma Stone) "This girl, named Hester Prynne, has an affair with a minister, is besmirched and made to wear a red A for "adulterer." But then the town realizes she was too harshly judged, and she's really a good person, and she dies a saint. A whole bunch of other stuff happens too. If you have a test on it, rent the movie, but make sure it's the original -- not the Demi Moore version where she talks in a fake British accent and takes a lot of baths. To say that one was freely adapted, is a"
• (Emma Stone) "bit of an understatement, guvnor."

• (Emma Stone) "So, here it is"
• (Emma Stone) "Part One: The Shudder-Inducing and Cliched, However Totally False Account Of How I Lost My Virginity To A Guy At A Community College."

• (Emma Stone) "I want a one hundred dollar gift card deposited into my locker by noon tomorrow. Preferably to the Gap, but I'd also take Amazon.com, or Office Max. Actually, make it Office Max; I have my eye on a label maker. We did not have sex. I let you fondle my chest, and it was a glorious moment for you. Unmatched by anything you have heretofore experienced -- including cake."

• (Emma Stone) "You know, the sad thing is, Evan, if you'd been a gentleman and maybe asked me out on a date, I might've said yes."
• (Aly Michalka) "Really? Do you wanna go out with me?"
• (Emma Stone) "Not now I don't, s***-dick."

• (Emma Stone) "Last year's cause celebre was the changing of the school mascot,"
• (Malcolm McDowell) "Give it up for your very own BLUE DEVILS."
• (Penn Badgley) "WOOO. Blue Devils."
• (Penn Badgley) "Yeah. Wooo."
• (Amanda Bynes) "How can we exhibit school pride when we're conveyed to others as Satan worshipers?"
• (Emma Stone) "Now, thankfully, we're the much less intimidating --"
• (Malcolm McDowell) "Give it up for the woodchucks."
• (Penn Badgley) "The woodchucks. Ar-ra-ra."
• (Penn Badgley) "Wooo."
• (Aly Michalka) "I liked Todd much better when he was topless."

• (Emma Stone) "We've had nine classes together since kindergarten -- ten if you count Religion of Other Cultures, which you didn't because you called it science fiction and refused to go."

• (Emma Stone) "So the next day I had detention. Which, thanks to recent budget cuts meant cleaning. I was looking forward to putting all this behind me; I had done the crime, I was going to do the time. And that would be that"
• (Dan Byrd) "Aren't there, like, child labor laws against this?"
• (Emma Stone) "Not in high school. The principal is like a captain of a ship in international waters. He can even marry people."
• (Emma Stone) "We haven't talked in a while; how've you been, Brandon?"
• (Dan Byrd) "Fabulous. Crushing it. Everything according to plan."
• (Dan Byrd) "I wanna be in detention."
• (Emma Stone) "Ya, why are you here? Judging from the amount of blood I saw gushing from your nose I thought you were the bull- ied"
• (Dan Byrd) "You'd think, but Principal Gibbons is a homophobe, which is why I called him a fascist."
• (Emma Stone) "So the rumors are true."
• (Dan Byrd) "I don't know what you're talking about."
• (Emma Stone) "I meant about Gibbons' being a fascist."

• (Emma Stone) "I used to be anonymous, invisible to the opposite sex. If Google Earth were a guy, he couldn't find me if I was dressed up as a 10-story building."

Stanley Tucci as Dill

• (Stanley Tucci) "Is everything all right? It sounds like you're having sex in here, which I know can't be true due to the fact that you have a homosexual boyfriend."

• (Stanley Tucci) "The family member of the week gets to pick the movie."
• (Emma Stone) "You get family member of the week every week."
• (Patricia Clarkson) "And there's a reason for that."
• (Emma Stone) "Yeah, you pick family member of the week."
• (Patricia Clarkson) "Are you accusing me of nepotism?"

• (Stanley Tucci) "After we watch "The Bucket List," remember to cross "watch 'The Bucket List'" off our bucket list."

• (Stanley Tucci) "Yeah, no dating."
• (Patricia Clarkson) "No dating."
• (Stanley Tucci) "No dating for you, young lady."
• (Emma Stone) "Ooh, I think my complete lack of allure already kinda shot that horse in the face."

• (Stanley Tucci) "Where are you from originally?"

Aly Michalka as Rhiannon

• (Aly Michalka) "Don't get mad, but Brandon told me what you did for him."
• (Emma Stone) "Ah, well, rest assured it was equally as thrilling for me."
• (Aly Michalka) "No, he told me the truth."
• (Aly Michalka) "I was just hoping that maybe you could do the same for me?"
• (Emma Stone) "Goodbye, Evan."
• (Aly Michalka) "Wait. Wait, I can pay you."
• (Emma Stone) "I am about six seconds away from slapping you so hard your teeth will bleed."
• (Aly Michalka) "Can you do it in front of everyone?"

• (Aly Michalka) "You're being pretty cavalier about this. Aren't you supposed to be eternally in love with him and s***?"
• (Emma Stone) "Yes -- I believe so, if I was the Gossip Girl in Sweet Valley of the Traveling Pants."

• (Aly Michalka) "George is not a sexy name. George is like what you name your teddy bear, not the name you wanna scream out during climax."
• (Thomas Haden Church) "I hope by "climax" you weren't talking about --"
• (Emma Stone) "The stable and self-perpetuating end-stage in the evolution of a plant community. Like "by George, that tree has reached the final stage of ecological succession"."
• (Aly Michalka) "And it only took 20 seconds."

• (Aly Michalka) "Just because you lost your virginity doesn't mean you can go around throwing your cat at everybody."

• (Aly Michalka) "I had to hear from Jackie Rudedsky. Do you know how embarrassing it is; finding out you slept with some gay dude from Jackie Rudedsky ?"
• (Emma Stone) "That must have been pretty embarrassing."

Amanda Bynes as Marianne

• (Amanda Bynes) "You've made your bed -- I just hope for your sake, you've cleaned the sheets."

• (Amanda Bynes) "There's a higher power that will judge you for your indecency."
• (Emma Stone) "Tom Cruise?"

• (Amanda Bynes) "I hope for your sake, God has a sense of humor."
• (Emma Stone) "Oh, I have seventeen years worth of anecdotal proof that He does."

• (Amanda Bynes) "I just hope for your sake you had the good sense to use protection."
• (Emma Stone) "Why? Your parents didn't."

• (Amanda Bynes) "You're going to hell."
• (Emma Stone) "Just as long as you won't be there"
• (Amanda Bynes) "I can assure you; I won't."

Penn Badgley as Woodchuck Todd

• (Penn Badgley) "How's it going?"
• (Emma Stone) "Ah, you know, I'm um -- I'm here."
• (Penn Badgley) "Can I get you a beer?"
• (Emma Stone) "That rhymed --"

• (Penn Badgley) "Hey Olive. You left your glass slipper at the party the other night."
• (Emma Stone) "Yea and I got pumpkin all over my dress too. C'est la vie."
• (Penn Badgley) "La vie."
• (Emma Stone) "Nice. Solid joke."

• (Penn Badgley) "Notoriety, for whatever reason, never seems to benefit the noted, only the 'notees'."

• (Penn Badgley) "Hey Olive."
• (Emma Stone) "Oh my God. The illusion is shattered. This is exactly why they put you in the gas chamber if you take your head off at Disney World."
• (Penn Badgley) "Actually I think they just, you know, they fire you. You're thinking of Disneyland. Disney World is much more liberal."
• (Emma Stone) "Oh yeah. I always forget Disney World went blue in the last election."

Lisa Kudrow as Mrs. Griffith

• (Lisa Kudrow) "He's not the sharpest Christian in the bible."

• (Lisa Kudrow) "Don't tell anyone I'm doing this; please --"
• (Lisa Kudrow) "Here you go."
• (Emma Stone) "I really don't need those."
• (Lisa Kudrow) "Oh, you really do."
• (Lisa Kudrow) "Here you go. I just don't want this thing you're going through to define your life. Olive, do what you got to do, let your freak flag fly. Just make sure you have an exit strategy."
• (Emma Stone) "Listen, Mrs. Griffins, I really don't need these."
• (Lisa Kudrow) "You know, the pill is not 100% effective. Ask some of your friend's parents."

• (Lisa Kudrow) "I'm the guidance counselor. I should know all the students, especially the ones that dress like prostitutes."

Patricia Clarkson as Rosemary

• (Patricia Clarkson) "Not to mention how you have been dressing these past few days. No judgment, but you kind of look like a stripper."
• (Emma Stone) "Mom."
• (Stanley Tucci) "A high-end stripper, for governors or athletes."

• (Patricia Clarkson) "That boy from yesterday just dropped this off for you --"
• (Emma Stone) "Well, put it in the pile of gifts from my other suitors."
• (Patricia Clarkson) "He seems like a nice kid. He seemed a little incredibly gay --"
• (Emma Stone) "Dyed in the wool homosexual, that boy is."
• (Patricia Clarkson) "I just want you to know your father and I are totally supportive. We love you no matter what the sexual orientation of your opposite sex sex partner --"
• (Emma Stone) "We are not dating, Mom."
• (Patricia Clarkson) "-- and don't worry about not making us grandparents. Although we were kind of hoping you'd get "knocked up" so we'd have a second shot at raising kids, really do it right this time."
• (Emma Stone) "Bye now --"
• (Patricia Clarkson) "You know, I dated a homosexual once. For a long time, actually -- a "long" time --"
• (Emma Stone) "Dear God, dear Lord, tell me you didn't marry and have children with him."
• (Patricia Clarkson) "No."
• (Patricia Clarkson) "No, no. Your father is as straight as they come. A little too straight, if you know what I mean, girlfriend."
• (Emma Stone) "I don't --"

• (Patricia Clarkson) "Any friend of Olive's is a friend of my daughter."

• (Patricia Clarkson) "We're a family of late bloomers; I didn't until I was 14, and nor did Olive."
• (Bryce Clyde Jenkins) "Why does that matter; I'm adopted."
• (Stanley Tucci) "What? Oh my God. Who told you? Guys, we were going to do this at the right time."

Malcolm McDowell as Principal Gibbons

• (Malcolm McDowell) "This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus."

Thomas Haden Church as Mr. Griffith

• (Thomas Haden Church) "I'm hearing things --"
• (Emma Stone) "The rumors are true. I am, in fact, considering becoming an existentialist."

• (Thomas Haden Church) "Olive, Olive, Olive. Do you think that maybe you're reading a little too much into this assignment?"
• (Emma Stone) "Well, I was really hoping to get an "A"."
• (Emma Stone) "Get it? Get it?"

• (Thomas Haden Church) "I don't know what your generation's fascination is with documenting your every thought -- but I can assure you, they're not all diamonds. "Roman is having an OK day, and bought a Coke Zero at the gas station. Raise the roof." Who gives a rat's ass?"
• (Emma Stone) "He got a Coke Zero AGAIN. Ah, that Roman. Incorrigible."

Mahaley Manning as Nina

• (Mahaley Manning) "Perhaps you should embroider a red A on your wardrobe, you abominable tramp."
• (Emma Stone) "Perhaps you should get a wardrobe, you abominable twat."

Lalaine as Gossipy Girl

• (Lalaine) "Oh my God, did you hear that Brandon ran away from home? Yeah. Totally. He left his parents a note that said: 'Eff you, I'm gay.' And then he skipped town with a big, hulking black guy."
• (Emma Stone) "My apologies to Mark Twain."

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