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Eddie Murphy Delirious Quotes

Eddie Murphy Delirious is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Eddie Murphy Delirious completed its run in 1970.

It features Eddie Murphy as producer, and Juan Barrera as head of cinematography.

Each episode of Eddie Murphy Delirious is 69 minutes long. Eddie Murphy Delirious is distributed by HBO.

Eddie Murphy Delirious Quotes

  • (Eddie Murphy) "My mother ran in the bathroom, see my big brother sitting in the bathroom with a piece of s*** in his hand in the tub, I was laying in the bottom of the water with blood gushing out my eye, G.I. Joe up my ass. My mother's like, "What the f*** going on in here?""
  • (Eddie Murphy) "Mick Jagger's lips' so big, black people be going, "You got some big-ass lips.""
  • (Eddie Murphy) "Now, a brother's dick is too big, so it'll f*** up his balance -- Every time you see a brother in a wheelchair, he ain't always crippled."
  • (Eddie Murphy) "Your wife's a Bigfoot, isn't she, Gus? Your wife is a Bigfoot, isn't she? That's why the bitch's moustache is so motherf***in' thick -- 'cause you shaved the bitch down and taught her to speak. I know a motherf***in' Bigfoot when I see one. Don't bring a Bigfoot into my home, Gus. With my children? The bitch can't talk. She can't walk a flight of steps. She's not trained well, Gus. She can not walk steps. I'll bet she climbs the f*** outta trees, though, don't she, Gus? Doesn't she? DOESN'T SHE? But you got to not bring her around here; f*** her. And your motherf***in' children? They're Bigfeet, too. They're half-Bigfoot, Gus, 'cause the motherf***ers is 6 years old and have Afros 17 inches long. They're little hairy motherf***ers, just like their mother. Look at the motherf***ers. You know how I found out they was Bigfoot; when I realized your wife was a Bigfoot when I took your kids fishing last week. I put the motherf***ers in the boat, Gus, and I took the worm and I put it on the hooks. And they both sat there, and they put their poles down in the motherf***in' boat, and slammed their faces in the water for 2 minutes. And I think, "What the f*** are these kids doin'?" Then they start moving their heads like this"
  • (Eddie Murphy) "and the motherf***ers come up with fish. I jumped back and said, "Can you believe this motherf***in' s***?" Then the kid took the fish out his mouth and looked at his brother and said, "Goonie-Goo-Goo." What the f*** is going on here? Normal kids don't do s*** like that, Gus. But I'm gonna tell you something, motherf***er. You can take your motherf***in' hairy fat-ass wife moustache bitch out the f***, you can go upstairs and get the motherf***in' dog and scoop up the s*** and take Eddie and get these mothaf***in' long Angela Davis afro-wearin' motherf***in' kids of yours and put them in the motherf***ing "Goonie-Goo-Goo"-mobile and get the f*** out. And if my wife don't like that, she can get the f*** out, too."
  • (Eddie Murphy) "You missed me, bitch."
  • (Eddie Murphy) "I'm winded, I'm out of breath -- I'm sweatin' and s***."
  • (Unnamed) "Do Mr. Rob."
  • (Unnamed) "SHUT UP, BITCH."
  • (Eddie Murphy) "Y'all didn't know I was a ventriloquist too."
  • (Eddie Murphy) "I been seeing newspapers every Sunday morning, white dudes be in there in their drawers, never having no bulge in they drawers. Smiling at you. If I ain't have no bulge, I wouldn't be smiling."
  • (Eddie Murphy) "Does anyone have a mother that would hit you with a shoe? I had a mother that would throw a shoe at you at the drop of a dime. And f*** you up wherever she was aiming. So by the time I was like ten, my mother was like Clint Eastwood with a shoe --"
  • (Eddie Murphy) "Bear and a rabbit were taking a s*** in the woods. And the bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Excuse me, do you have problems with s*** sticking to your fur?" And the rabbit says, "No." So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit."
  • (Eddie Murphy) "Oh s***, I'm in Washington D.C.."
  • (Eddie Murphy) "s***. Jesus. Christ. This is where Reagan lives. Not far from here."
  • (Eddie Murphy) "Ron."
  • (Eddie Murphy) "Hey Ron, they the ones that's booin', I didn't say s***. I mean I didn't mean --"
  • (Eddie Murphy) "Huh?"
  • (Unnamed) "Reaganomics sucks."
  • (Eddie Murphy) "What sucks?"
  • (Unnamed) "Reaganomics sucks."
  • (Eddie Murphy) "Reaganomics sucks? Well tell us something we don't know motherf***er."
  • (Eddie Murphy) "It's my house. You know it is. And if you don't like it, you get the f*** OUT. I don't give a f***. I don't give cause I paid the motherf***in' bills in this motherf***er. And hey,"
  • (Eddie Murphy) "kiss my ASS if you don't like it. Yes. Yes, motherf***er, yes. Cause you know it is, know it is? Im drunk, so what?"
  • (Eddie Murphy) "Beautiful, I'm drunk. I'm drunk, so what? I'm drunk. You know what? I got drunk in my motherf***in' kitchen and I was drinking out of my glass in my motherf***in' house. So f*** IT."
  • (Eddie Murphy) "Why can't she walk a step? You know why she can't a step? Because she's a fat, hairy bitch."

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