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Evan Almighty Quotes

Evan Almighty is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . Evan Almighty ended in 1970.

It features Tom Shadyac, Gary Barber; Roger Birnbaum; Neal H. Moritz, and Michael Bostick as producer, John Debney in charge of musical score, and Ian Baker (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

Evan Almighty is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Evan Almighty is 96 minutes long. Evan Almighty is distributed by Universal Studios.

The cast includes: Morgan Freeman as God, Steve Carell as Evan Baxter, John Goodman as Congressmen, Lauren Graham as Joan Baxter, Wanda Sykes as Rita, Ed Helms as Ark Reporter, John Michael Higgins as Marty, Jonah Hill as Eugene, John Goodman as Congressman Chuck Long, and Catherine Bell as Susan Ortega.

Evan Almighty Quotes

Steve Carell as Evan Baxter

  • (Steve Carell) "This is nice."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "It's too nice. There's something crooked going on around here."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "Do you smell anthrax?"
  • (Steve Carell) "Chicken. September 22nd would be a good day for chicken. Joan, could we have chicken September 22nd midday?"
  • (Steve Carell) "I am successful, I am powerful, I am handsome, and I am happy. Sucessful, powerful, handsome-"
  • (Morgan Freeman) "Let it out, son. It's the beginning of wisdom."
  • (Steve Carell) "How did you get in here? D'ah. I'm calling the cops."
  • (Morgan Freeman) "No wait. Look-look-look. There's one right there."
  • (Steve Carell) "Officer. Officer. Carjacker, carjacker in the car. Carjacker in the car."
  • (Officer "God") "Careful pulling out. Pedestrian in the crosswalk."
  • (Steve Carell) "People. The flood is imminent."
  • (Steve Carell) "Is it too much to ask for a LITTLE PRECIPITATION?"
  • (Steve Carell) "Do I know you?"
  • (Morgan Freeman) "Not as much as I'd like."
  • (Steve Carell) "Eugene said that Long cut corners on building codes."
  • (Lauren Graham) "What're you talking about?"
  • (Steve Carell) "The lake. Long Lake. It's named after him. It's the lake."
  • (Steve Carell) "Everybody get on the ark now."
  • (Steve Carell) "Get on the Ark. Everyone on the Ark, now."
  • (John Michael Higgins) "I think we should get on the Ark."
  • (Jonah Hill) "I agree. I think we should get on the Ark, also."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "I'm cold, I'm wet, I'm going home."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "Ladies first. Move."
  • (Steve Carell) "SHEEEEEEEEEEEP."
  • (Steve Carell) "I can't shave. Whenever I shave it just grows back."
  • (John Michael Higgins) "That's what happens when you shave. But then you shave again."

Lauren Graham as Joan Baxter

  • (Lauren Graham) "Is that a llama with a hammer?"
  • (Lauren Graham) "Honey, maybe God didn't mean a literal flood. Maybe he meant a flood of knowledge, or emotion, or awareness."
  • (Steve Carell) "If that's true, I am going to be so pissed."

Wanda Sykes as Rita

  • (Wanda Sykes) "Have you been shootin' up Rogaine?"
  • (Wanda Sykes) "There he is. The head honcho. The big Kahuna."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "Can I tase him?"
  • (Wanda Sykes) "The way things are going, if he gets any crazier, we might end up in the White House."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "Evan, what happened? Did you fall in a mine shaft?"
  • (Steve Carell) "No."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "Did you just come out of a coma?"
  • (Steve Carell) "No."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "Were you attacked by a werewolf?"
  • (Steve Carell) "No, I wasn't."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "Well, if you were going for that rugged look, I think you over-shot it."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "Did you just make a wardrobe change? This isn't the Oscars. You're not Whoopi."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "If that comes out your front, I don't even want to know what's coming out the back."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "Why couldn't the man just buy a Corvette?"
  • (Wanda Sykes) "I can't even get my cat to use the litter box."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "Look, I go to church every Sunday."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "Every "other" Sunday."
  • (Wanda Sykes) "I've been to church."

John Goodman as Congressman Chuck Long

  • (John Goodman) "I pledge allegiance to the flag, of the United States of America, and to the Republic, for which it stands-"
  • (Morgan Freeman) "One Nation, under Me, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."
  • (Morgan Freeman) "How long you wanna do this son? I've got all eternity."
  • (John Goodman) "How?"
  • (Steve Carell) "The dam. Your reservoir broke, Prestige Crest is no more."
  • (John Goodman) "No, they said that couldn't happen, they -- you did this, you set me up."

Morgan Freeman as God

  • (Morgan Freeman) "Ask, and you receive."
  • (Morgan Freeman) "Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?"
  • (Morgan Freeman) "I now issue a new commandment: Thou shalt do the dance."

Ed Helms as Ark Reporter

  • (Ed Helms) "It's September 22nd and we're all still here -- awkwarrrd."

Jonah Hill as Eugene

  • (Jonah Hill) "I love you --. I mean, I think we should hang out socially -- I have a new ping pong table."

Catherine Bell as Susan Ortega

  • (Catherine Bell) "And that's the news. But before we sign off, we'd like to thank our very own Evan Baxter, who has just been elected Buffalo's representative to Congress. And now we have a surprise for Evan."
  • (Steve Carell) "No, you don't."
  • (Catherine Bell) "We do."
  • (Steve Carell) "Oh, no. I really didn't expect this."
  • (Catherine Bell) "Here's a look back at his run for office."

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