Everything Is Illuminated (film) Quotes

Everything Is Illuminated (film) is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . Everything Is Illuminated ended its run in 1970.

It features Plain list, * Marc Turtletaub; Peter Saraf * Matthew Stillman as producer, Paul Cantelon in charge of musical score, and Matthew Libatique as head of cinematography.

Everything Is Illuminated (film) is recorded in English language and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Everything Is Illuminated (film) is 104 minutes long. Everything Is Illuminated (film) is distributed by Warner Independent Pictures.

Everything Is Illuminated (film) Quotes

• (Lista) "May I ask you a question?"
• (Grandfather) "Yes, of course."
• (Lista) "Is the war over?"

• (Jonathan) "I don't know, why does anybody do anything? It's just -- something to do."

• (Alex) "Jonfen. What you said at the hotel about Ukrainians before the war."
• (Jonathan) "Yeah?"
• (Alex) "Do you think it's possible that my grandfather, he --"
• (Jonathan) "Your shirt's inside out."
• (Alex) "What?"
• (Jonathan) "Your shirt's inside out."
• (Alex) "What does it mean, inside out?"
• (Jonathan) "Nothing. It's just that the inside of your shirt is on the outside and the outside is on --"
• (Jonathan) "-- Forget it."

• (Alex) "Make sure to secure the door when I am gone. There are many dangerous people who wanna take things from Americans, and also kidnap them. Good night."

• (Alex) "You make sex often with American girl?"
• (Jonathan) "Not really."
• (Alex) "What is mean by "not really?""
• (Jonathan) "I'm not a priest, but I'm not John Holmes either."
• (Alex) "I have heard of this John Holmes. He has premium penis."
• (Jonathan) "Yes, he did."
• (Alex) "Everyne in Ukraine has penis like that."
• (Jonathan) "Even the women?"
• (Alex) "You make joke, yes?"
• (Jonathan) "Yes."

• (Alex) "Please tell me, is the Shaq also the Jew?"
• (Jonathan) "Who?"
• (Alex) "The Shaqweel O'Neal, the Los Angeles Laker."
• (Jonathan) "Uh, no."
• (Alex) "And Michael Jackson?"
• (Jonathan) "No, definitely not a Jew."

• (Alex) "This is my miniature brother, Igor. I am tutoring him to be a man of this world. For an example, I exhibited him a smutty magazine three days yore."
• (Igor) "Why is it dubbed sixty-nine?"
• (Alex) "I explain it to him that this is because it was invented in the year 1969. I know this because my friend Grisha knows a friend of the nephew of the inventor."
• (Igor) "What did people do before 1969?"
• (Alex) "He is a genius, my miniature brother. He will be made a VIP if I have a thing to do with it."

• (Jonathan) "I'm a vegetarian."
• (Alex) "You're a what?"
• (Jonathan) "I don't eat meat."
• (Alex) "How can you not eat meat?"
• (Jonathan) "I just don't."
• (Alex) "He says he does not eat meat."
• (Grandfather) "What?"
• (Alex) "No meat?"
• (Jonathan) "No meat."
• (Alex) "Steak?"
• (Jonathan) "No --"
• (Alex) "Chickens."
• (Jonathan) "No --"
• (Alex) "And what about the sausage?"
• (Jonathan) "No, no sausage, no meat."
• (Alex) "He says he does not eat any meat."
• (Grandfather) "Not even sausage?"
• (Alex) "I know."
• (Grandfather) "What is wrong with him?"
• (Alex) "What is wrong with you?"
• (Jonathan) "Nothing, I just don't eat meat."

• (Alex) "What are you doing?"
• (Jonathan) "For helping us."
• (Alex) "What?"
• (Jonathan) "Well, I read in my guidebook that you can't find Marlboro cigarettes here so you should take them everywhere as tips."
• (Grandfather) "He doesn't eat meat."

• (Grandfather) "Get in the car. The bitch and the Jew will share the backseat."

• (Alex) "How much currency would a first-rate accountant receive in America?"
• (Jonathan) "I don't know, a lot, probably, if he or she is good."
• (Alex) "She?"
• (Jonathan) "Or he."
• (Alex) "Are there Negro accountants?"
• (Jonathan) "Yes, there are African American accountants, but you don't want to use that word."
• (Alex) "And homosexual accountants?"
• (Jonathan) "There are homosexual everythings. There are homosexual garbage men."
• (Alex) "And how much currency would a Negro homosexual accountant receive?"
• (Jonathan) "You really shouldn't use that word."
• (Alex) "Which word?"
• (Jonathan) "The N-word. It's not the N-word, but --"
• (Alex) "Negro?"
• (Jonathan) "Yeah, that one."
• (Alex) "But I dig them all the way. They are premium people."

• (Alexander Perchov, Father) "Papa, I already have one son walking around Odessa looking like a lunatic. I don't need another."

• (Alex) "You were proximal with your grandfather, yes?"

• (Grandfather) "Perhaps you would like me to stop the car and you two can f*** yourselves to Lutsk."

• (Alex) "My legal name is Alexander Perchov, but all of my friends dub me Alex, because this is much more flaccid to utter."

• (Alex) "This is Grandfather. Like my father and myself, he too is dubbed Alex. My grandmother, Anna, died two years before of a cancer in her brain. Precluding this, Grandfather became very melancholy, and also, he says, blind. His most recent employment was Heritage Tours, a business he started in 1950s, mostly for aiding rich Jewish people to search for their dead families. It is a strange employment for Grandfather, as there is nothing he hates more than rich Jewish people or their dead families."

• (Lista) "First there was Yosef. He was a shoemaker. They held a gun to his daughter's head and commanded him to spit. He spit. They all spit, and tore, and kicked, and whatever else they were told to do -- except my father. And then my sister. She was pregnant. They put the gun to her pregnant belly. They said they would kill the baby inside her if my father did not spit. He could not -- He did not spit."

• (Jonathan) "I'm distressed by dogs."
• (Alex) "He is afraid of dogs."
• (Grandfather) "Bulls***. No one is afraid of dogs."

• (Alex) "My grandfather informs me that is not possible."

• (Jonathan) "What is it?"
• (Alex) "Soviets."
• (Jonathan) "What happened?"
• (Alex) "Independence."

• (Alex) "This is Sammy Davis Jr. Jr -- She is Grandfather's Seeing Eye bitch. Father purchased her for him not because he believes Grandfather is blind, but because a Seeing Eye bitch is also a good thing for people who pine for the opposite of loneliness. In truth, Father did not purchase her at all, but merely retrieved her from the home for forgetful dogs. Because of this, she is not a real Seeing Eye bitch, and is also mentally deranged."

• (Alex) "We are searching for Trachimbrod."
• (Lista) "You are here. I am it."

• (Alex) "This is not so unusual."
• (Jonathan) "What?"
• (Alex) "Not knowing."

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