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Female Trouble Quotes

Female Trouble is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Female Trouble completed its run in 1970.

It features John Waters as producer, John Waters in charge of musical score, and John Waters as head of cinematography.

Female Trouble is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Female Trouble is 97 minutes (Original) long. Female Trouble is distributed by New Line Cinema.

The cast includes: Michael Potter as Gator, Mink Stole as Taffy, Divine as Dawn Davenport, Elizabeth Coffey as Ernie, George Figgs as Dribbles, Ed Peranio as Wink, Mary Vivian Pearce as Donna Dasher, Mink Stole as Taffy Davenport, David Lochary as Donald Dasher, Paul Swift as Butterfly, Cookie Mueller as Concetta, Susan Walsh as Chicklette, Divine as Mrs. Davenport, and Divine as Mr. Davenport.

Female Trouble Quotes

George Figgs as Dribbles

  • (George Figgs) "How's your little girl? Why don't you bring her in here more often?"
  • (Sally) "Why? So you can undress her with your eyes? For Christ's sake, she's only six years old."
  • (George Figgs) "I know, but I just like to play with her. I wish I was a little girl."
  • (Sally) "Well, throw a god**** penny in a fountain and make a god**** wish and maybe it'll come true."

Mink Stole as Taffy

  • (Mink Stole) "You're not my daddy, you disgusting hippie pig. And I wouldn't get near a bed that had been defiled by the likes of you two. I'd sooner jump in a river of snot."
  • (Mink Stole) "Writing a book, hippie? Why don't you go listen to some folk music and give me a break."
  • (Mink Stole) "If I have to eat with Gater, I'll spit food."
  • (Mink Stole) "Daddy? Daddy? It's me Taffy."
  • (Earl Peterson) "I don't know nobody named Taffy. I'm busy right now."
  • (Mink Stole) "Oh, please let me in, Daddy. Open the door."
  • (Earl Peterson) "Ah, f***ing shut up. Alright already."
  • (Mink Stole) "Daddy, it's me Taffy, your long, lost little girl."
  • (Earl Peterson) "Hey, get off. I ain't your daddy. I ain't even married."
  • (Mink Stole) "Oh, I know that, but you're my daddy alright. My mother told me. My mother is Dawn Davenport."
  • (Earl Peterson) "Yeah, you can stay here awhile. Want a drink?"
  • (Mink Stole) "NO. You don't even believe me, do you?"
  • (Earl Peterson) "Yeah, yeah. I'll be your sugar daddy, how about that?"
  • (Earl Peterson) "I'm feelin' a little drink, so don't mind me."
  • (Mink Stole) "s***face. You're my father. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
  • (Earl Peterson) "Who'd you say your mother was?"
  • (Mink Stole) "Dawn Davenport. You know her."
  • (Earl Peterson) "What does she look like?"
  • (Mink Stole) "Fat. Very fat."
  • (Earl Peterson) "Yeah, yeah. I maybe remember."
  • (Mink Stole) "Oh, daddy. I knew you would. Mother's been awful to me. For years, I've suffered. Please let me stay with you. I won't be any trouble. I'll help you clean and we can go out together and maybe -- maybe you can buy me some regular clothes."
  • (Earl Peterson) "Can you f*** as good as your mother?"
  • (Mink Stole) "PIG. You god**** slimy pig."
  • (Earl Peterson) "Hey, little Taffy, can you stretch like taffy?"
  • (Mink Stole) "f*** you."
  • (Earl Peterson) "Hey, you spilled my drink."
  • (Earl Peterson) "Daddy Earl's got a little present for you."
  • (Earl Peterson) "I'm sorry -- I been drinking."
  • (Mink Stole) "OH. OH."
  • (Mink Stole) "Hare Krishna, mother."
  • (Divine) "You've finally done it, haven't you. Embarrassed me on my night of FAME."
  • (Divine) "No reporters saw you did they"
  • (Divine) "Look at you, I could vomit."
  • (Mary Vivian Pearce) "Remember Alice Crimmins."

Paul Swift as Butterfly

  • (Paul Swift) "Beauty, beauty, look at you, I wish to God I had it, too."

Divine as Mrs. Davenport

  • (Divine) "To receptionist: "I just want my hair done, quickly and quietly.""
  • (Divine) "Thank you. I love you. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my black little heart. You came here for some excitement tonight and that's just what you're going to get. Take a good look at ME because I'm going to be on the front of every newspaper in this country tomorrow. You're looking at crime personified AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT. I framed Leslie Bacon. I called the heroin hot line on Abby Hoffman. I bought the gun that Bremmer used to shoot Wallace. I had an affair with Juan Corona. I blew Richard Speck. And I'm so f***ing beautiful I can't stand it myself. Now, everybody freeze. Who wants to be famous? Who wants to DIE for art?"
  • (Divine) "I'm afraid I'm going to have to be the one to break the news to you, Taffy. I've thrown Gater out and started divorce proceedings. I don't want to seem overly bitter, but I'd appreciate it if you would destroy all of his belongings."
  • (Divine) "I'd like to set fire to this dump."
  • (Cookie Mueller) "Just 'cause we're pretty everybody's jealous."
  • (Divine) "WHAT are THESE?"
  • (Divine) "Those are your new shoes, Dawn."
  • (Divine) "Those aren't the right kind, I told you cha cha heels, black ones."
  • (Divine) "Nice girls don't wear cha cha heels."
  • (Divine) "Gimmie those presents, I'll never wear those ugly shoes. I told you the kind I wanted. You ruined my Christmas."
  • (Divine) "Please, Dawn. Not on Christmas."
  • (Divine) "Get off me, you ugly witch."
  • (Divine) "Dawn Davenport, are you crazy, look at your mother."
  • (Divine) "Get off me -- LAY OFF ME. I hate you, f*** you. f*** you both, you awful people. You're not my parents. I hate you, I hate this house, and I hate Christmas."
  • (Divine) "Not on Christmas. Not on Christmas."
  • (Divine) "Where did you get this crap, Taffy? I told you to spend that money I gave you on a cute outfit, but ooooh-noooo. As soon as my back is turned, you run right out and spend it on props for your morbid little games. Well, I want it cleaned up pronto. We're having guests for dinner and I want you looking as P-R-E-T-T-Y as humanly possible."
  • (Divine) "Davenport. Dawn Davenport. I'm a thief and a s***kicker, and, uh, I'd like to be famous."
  • (Taffy as a child) "Why can't I go to school? Why can't I have friends?"
  • (Divine) "You can't go to school because I said so. I won't have you nagging me for lunch money and whining for help on your homework. There is no need to know about presidents, wars, numbers or science. Just listen to me and you'll learn. And no little friends over here, repeating rhymes, asking flippant questions, and talking in those nagging baby voices. Can't you just sit here and look out into the air? Isn't that enough? Do you always have to badger me for attention?"
  • (School snitch) "Mr. Weinberger, Dawn Davenport is eating a meatball sandwich right out in class. And she's been passing notes."
  • (Divine) "I was not eating."
  • (Divine) "You're a pain, Taffy. A pain in my big asshole."
  • (Divine) "I've DONE everything a mother can do: I've locked her in her room, I've beat her with the car aerial. Nothing changes her. It's HARD being a loving mother."

Cookie Mueller as Concetta

  • (Cookie Mueller) "Just get your hair done. That's what I always do when I get depressed."
  • (Divine) "Maybe I will."
  • (Cookie Mueller) "I'll tell ya, the Lipstick Beauty Salon is the best. They only let, well, you know, 'special' girls in. You have to audition to even get your hair done."
  • (Susan Walsh) "AND, there's this guy that does hair there, MMMM MMMM. I'd suck the socks off him in a minute."
  • (Cookie Mueller) "Yeah, Gater's his name, and you know what? He lives right next door."
  • (Divine) "Wonder what HIS story is? Maybe he's a -- CHUBBY CHASER."
  • (Cookie Mueller) "Hey there, Taffy."
  • (Divine) "She's been a hideous little girl today, she was about to get a good whippin'."
  • (Susan Walsh) "She looks so cute."
  • (Taffy as a child) "Who are you, UGLY?"
  • (Divine) "You know who they are."
  • (Taffy as a child) "I've never seen THEM before."
  • (Divine) "Oh, TAFFY."
  • (Susan Walsh) "I just saw you yesterday, Taffy. Come sit here with your Aunt Chicklette."
  • (Susan Walsh) "OH MY GOD, this kid's BITIN' me. Get off."
  • (Divine) "This is ridiculous --"

Michael Potter as Gator

  • (Michael Potter) "Hi, brat. Is your mother home? I've a little going away present for her."
  • (Mink Stole) "Hey, Mother, there's a s***head here to see you."
  • (Michael Potter) "Hey Taffy, baby, come suck your daddy's dick."
  • (Mink Stole) "I wouldn't suck your lousy dick if I was suffocating and there was oxygen in your balls."
  • (Michael Potter) "Hello, Aunt Ida."
  • (Aunt Ida) "Gater, what a coincidence. There's somebody here dying to meet you. Ernie, this is Gater; Gater, this is Ernie."
  • (Elizabeth Coffey) "Hi, stud."
  • (Michael Potter) "Get him outta here."
  • (Aunt Ida) "Gater Nelson, you be polite to Ernie. He wants a date with you."
  • (Michael Potter) "Well, I don't want a date with him. I came to say goodbye, Aunt Ida. I'm moving to Detroit."
  • (Aunt Ida) "WHAT?"
  • (Michael Potter) "I want to be near the auto in-duss-try. I'm sick of hairdressing, and besides, Dawn had me fired."
  • (Elizabeth Coffey) "I can get you a job at the baths, Mary."
  • (Michael Potter) "Look, f***er, take a walk."
  • (Elizabeth Coffey) "Well."
  • (Michael Potter) "Look, you better beat it before I punch your f***in' face out that window."
  • (Elizabeth Coffey) "No gay knocks for me, Ida. At best, all you've got here is trade."
  • (Aunt Ida) "Oh, Gater. Ernie's your type. Move back in with me, and we'll get you a job as a female impersonator."
  • (Elizabeth Coffey) "His hands are too big, dahling. Bye, Gater. It was -- fab meeting you."
  • (Michael Potter) "f*** you. You're worse than my wife."

David Lochary as Donald Dasher

  • (Aunt Ida) "Aahhh. Ahhhh. Dawn, ya son of a bitch. You're the one who did it. YOU. You drove Gater away."
  • (David Lochary) "Oh my God."
  • (Mary Vivian Pearce) "Incredible."
  • (Divine) "Ida Nelson, you get out of my house."
  • (Aunt Ida) "You made Gater leave. I got somethin for your face, motherf***er."
  • (David Lochary) "We are always curious as to what drew you here to "Le Lipstique"."
  • (Stripper) "Well I heard all the strippers come here, and I got sick of my old salon."
  • (Mary Vivian Pearce) "And supposing we become sick of you?"
  • (Stripper) "Well, I had hoped that wouldn't happen --."
  • (Mary Vivian Pearce) "Well, I think it IS happening. It's hard to describe, but when I look into your face, I pick up a distinct feeling of nausea."
  • (Stripper) "Hey, WAIT A MINUTE --."

Ed Peranio as Wink

  • (Ed Peranio) "I'm getting a hard-on. Beauty always gives me a hard-on."
  • (Mary Vivian Pearce) "Aim it the other way then, Wink. You know how I detest organs. Beauty has absolutely nothing to do with that WORD, that THING you have hanging there like an obscene pickle. Spare me your anatomy."

Elizabeth Coffey as Ernie

  • (Aunt Ida) "Oh, Ernie. Have another pretzel for Chrissakes. Wait 'til you meet my little Gater. You two are gonna fall right in love."
  • (Elizabeth Coffey) "My dear, I hope so. Are you sure he's gay?"
  • (Aunt Ida) "Well I just use common sense. I mean, if they're smart they're queer, and if they're stupid they're straight, right Earnie? Are you sure you won't have another pretzel?"
  • (Elizabeth Coffey) "I'm sure, Miss Thing, I'm sure. Pretzels give you plaque."

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