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Five Gold Rings Quotes

Five Gold Rings is a television program that debuted in 1970 . Five Gold Rings completed its run in 1970.

The cast includes: Ashley Jerlach as Denzil, Shaun Dingwall as Del Trotter, Mel Smith as DI Thomas, Daniel Cerqueira as Alberto Balsam, Jonathan Readwin as Albie Littlewood, Lewis Osborne as Trigger, Kellie Bright as Joan Trotter, Paula Wilcox as Vi Trotter, Shaun Dingwall as Ted Trotter, Robert Daws as Ernie Rayner, Shaun Dingwall as Reg Trotter, Phil Daniels as Edna, Nicholas Lyndhurst as Roger, Chandeep Uppal as Amita, Paul Putner as Gerald 'Jelly' Kelly, Tom Brooke as DC Stanton, Dave Lamb as Sergeant Foster, and Calum McNab as Roy Slater.

Five Gold Rings Quotes

Mel Smith as DI Thomas

  • (Mel Smith) "Last night, I had this strange dream."
  • (Freddie Robdal) "You've been a widower for eighteen months, so don't feel bad about it."
  • (Mel Smith) "I'm looking forward to a nice, comfy Christmas at home, me."
  • (Freddie Robdal) "Bet your wife ain't."
  • (Tom Brooke) "DI Thomas's wife died eighteen months ago."
  • (Freddie Robdal) "Sorry to hear that."
  • (Mel Smith) "Thanks, Fred. Not to worry. I didn't really like her."
  • (Freddie Robdal) "Our lawyer was applying for bail first thing this morning."
  • (Mel Smith) "I know. First thing this morning I called the magistrate, Mr Colinwood, and opposed your bail. I can't release two old sea dogs like you. First smell of the sea and you'll be sailing off to God-Knows-Where. So I'm sorry, boys, but it's jail, not bail."
  • (Paul Putner) "Oh, would that be ex-Commodore Colinwood? Late of the Royal Navy?"
  • (Freddie Robdal) "Commodore Colinwood who presented us with our Commendations for Bravery?"
  • (Mel Smith) "Bollocks."
  • (Mel Smith) "You know, I was hoping that after all this time, your subconscious would let go of its little sea of memories. So let's give it another try, shall we?"
  • (Paul Putner) "Shouldn't our lawyer be present?"
  • (Mel Smith) "Only if you're frightened of something."
  • (Freddie Robdal) "We used to blow up German battleships, so you two dribblers couldn't make us jump in a haunted house."

Kellie Bright as Joan Trotter

  • (Freddie Robdal) "Is Reg working?"
  • (Kellie Bright) "He had a job but it only lasted a week. They caught him asleep on duty."
  • (Freddie Robdal) "What was he doing?"
  • (Kellie Bright) "He was trolley-bus driver."
  • (Kellie Bright) "J'adore un soixante-neuf."
  • (Shaun Dingwall) "She all right?"
  • (Shaun Dingwall) "What's that?"
  • (Kellie Bright) "It's French."
  • (Shaun Dingwall) "Where did you learn that?"
  • (Kellie Bright) "At the flicks. A Brigitte Bardot film."
  • (Paula Wilcox) "What's it mean?"
  • (Kellie Bright) "I was told it means "I am enjoying this dinner"."

Phil Daniels as Edna

  • (Glenda's Gran) "What's this?"
  • (Phil Daniels) "It's coq au vin. Have you ever had coq au vin, Derek?"
  • (Shaun Dingwall) "No, this is the first time, Mrs Wilkins."
  • (Nicholas Lyndhurst) "We discovered it on one of our visits to France."
  • (Glenda's Gran) "It's s***."
  • (Shaun Dingwall) "J'adore un soixante-neuf."

Paula Wilcox as Vi Trotter

  • (Paula Wilcox) "Do you ever wear Indian clothes, Amita?"
  • (Chandeep Uppal) "Only at family gatherings."
  • (Paula Wilcox) "I'm going to give you the best Christmas present you've ever had, darling. I'm gonna knit you a sari."
  • (Paula Wilcox) "She's got something the young people nowadays call the "baby blues". I had it with your dad. Oooh, I was moody and irritable."
  • (Shaun Dingwall) "Does it last long?"
  • (Shaun Dingwall) "Thirty-six years so far."

Shaun Dingwall as Reg Trotter

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Dave Lamb as Sergeant Foster

  • (Dave Lamb) "Yes, she's a very talented little lady. I mean, she can't sing, but she's very talented."
  • (Calum McNab) "Yeah, I'm a big fan. Will this go down in my file, Sarge? As my first arrest?"
  • (Dave Lamb) "No, it won't. You're a scabby little cadet and don't forget it. You keep your nose clean and pass your exams when you're eighteen, we might let you become a proper copper. 'Till then, bugger off."

Robert Daws as Ernie Rayner

  • (Robert Daws) "Off you go Miss Turpin. Oh, and is that button fastened securely?"
  • (Reenie Turpin) "Get your hands off me, Ernie Rayner, you dirty old man."
  • (Robert Daws) "What's come over you, dear?"
  • (Reenie Turpin) "I'll tell you what's come over me. Your hands are what's come over me. You're like a sodding octopus."
  • (Raymond) "Mr Rayner was just trying to adjust your uniform."
  • (Reenie Turpin) "If he does it again, I'll simply adjust his knackers."
  • (Robert Daws) "Raymond, she is obviously in the throes of the menstrual cycle."
  • (Reenie Turpin) "I'll wrap a motorcycle round your head if you don't shut up. Get out of the way and let me sell this chemical crap to the punters."

Ashley Jerlach as Denzil

  • (Ashley Jerlach) "What? You just get engaged to a girl, and she comes across with the goods?"
  • (Shaun Dingwall) "It's give and take, Denzil. In a week or so later, before she starts talking about lampshades, you let her see you drunk, she chucks the ring back at you. It's easy, ask him."
  • (Shaun Dingwall) "You've had a lark, you've still got your ring. Next."
  • (Ashley Jerlach) "Trig, you've just put four sugars in there."
  • (Lewis Osborne) "Yeah. Gives you energy."
  • (Ashley Jerlach) "But it's Bovril."
  • (Lewis Osborne) "I can't help it if I've got a sweet tooth, Denzil."

Lewis Osborne as Trigger

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Jonathan Readwin as Albie Littlewood

  • (Jonathan Readwin) "I had a dream. Now it's dead."
  • (Shaun Dingwall) "Let's have a one-minute silence then."

Daniel Cerqueira as Alberto Balsam

  • (Daniel Cerqueira) "You see, Derek, boys and girls are different. And I know, I'm Spanish. The girl, she want to get married and have the babies. But, before the church and the wedding and the fighting, is the engagement, OK? Now, the girl, she doesn't want to lose her fiancee boy, because then no wedding, no babies, and she's ugly, so she want to keep him happy. And how's she going to keep him happy? The jiggy-jiggy, know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying. It's give and it's take, Derek. Where I come from in Spain, us boys, we have this saying: "When the ring go on, something come off." Now you know what I'm saying."

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