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Fletch Lives Quotes

Fletch Lives is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . Fletch Lives stopped airing in 1970.

It features Peter Douglas, and Alan Greisman as producer, Harold Faltermeyer in charge of musical score, and John McPherson as head of cinematography.

Fletch Lives is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Fletch Lives is 95 minutes long. Fletch Lives is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Chevy Chase as Fletch, R. Lee Ermey as Jimmy Lee Farnsworth, Richard Libertini as Frank, Cleavon Little as Calculus Entropy, Randall "Tex" Cobb as Ben Dover, Hal Holbrook as Hamilton "Ham" Johnson, and Patricia Kalember as Man.

Fletch Lives Quotes

Chevy Chase as Fletch

  • (Chevy Chase) "Bobby Ross?"
  • (Unnamed) "Huh?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Peter Lemonjello. Your house is on fire."
  • (Unnamed) "What?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "They called and told me to tell you your house is on fire. I'm here to take over."
  • (Unnamed) "Well God bless you."
  • (Chevy Chase) "And god bless you for believing that s***."
  • (Chevy Chase) "It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong. I am NOT a big man."
  • (Bly Guard) "This is a secure area."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Well I'm very happy for ya, most people live in terrible neighborhoods."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Are you the head honcho?"
  • (Bly Manager) "That's right sir, Headly Dan Duke, and what seems to be your problem."
  • (Chevy Chase) "The problem IS I agreed to take a s*** load of that blue bird crap of your hands and it ain't come yet."
  • (Bly Manager) "I'm very sorry sir, and you are?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "I ARE PISSED."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Some damn fool told me it was on back order and I'd have to wait."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Who's signature is this? Who signed that?"
  • (Bly Manager) "Well, I can't seem to ah --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Well that's the trouble. It's typical of a large corporation."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Lack of communication and that's why I like to keep Everest small."
  • (Bly Manager) "OH your from Everest?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Now you're talkin."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Elmer Gantry. Elmer Fudd Gantry."
  • (Bly Manager) "Well, Mr Gantry I'm not sure there's anything I can do, uh --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Well you could pull my file instead of standing there pulling your pud."
  • (Bly Manager) "Pull the Everest file."
  • (Chevy Chase) "I apologize for my benecosity. I've had a hernia operation. Is that the stuff I was supposed to get?"
  • (Bly Manager) "Yes sir."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Why are they wearing those funny suits?"
  • (Bly Manager) "Well, there protective as you know that's a very corrosive bi-product they're handling."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Oh yeah. I guess if they didn't wear those suites those boys would be so full of wholes they'd whistle when they walked. Hahahahaahahah, ow."
  • (Bly Manager) "What's that --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Awe, i've been spittin up blood, pissing blood, bleedin. Go through five of these suits a day."
  • (Bly Manager) "Well, it seems you have your facts wrong Mr. Gantry. Your company is supposed to get 1,500 gallons. Destination some place called Belle Isle in Louisiana. Signed for by an officer of your company and due the 23rd. So we're right, and you're wrong."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Let me see that. It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong."
  • (Chevy Chase) ". I am NOT a big man."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Hey Betty, how about lunch at the In N' Out Burger?"
  • (Betty Dilworth) "No."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Okay, forget the burger, how about just the In N' Out?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Ok, how about just the In?"
  • (Unnamed) "Name?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Ah -- Irwin M Fletcher. Irwin Mahatma Fletcher."
  • (Unnamed) "Address?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "7."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Name's Ed -- Ed Harley."
  • (Joe Jack) "Ed -- you sure you're in the right place?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "I think so."
  • (Joe Jack) "Think so."
  • (Joe Jack) "Ed --"
  • (Joe Jack) "what are you doing in here?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "I'll give you a hint -- Milwaukee, Wisconsin."
  • (Chevy Chase) "You don't get it?"
  • (Joe Jack) "No, Ed -- you're the one that doesn't get it."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Ed HARLEY. Harley-Davidson Motorcycles."
  • (Joe Jack) "You own the company?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Well, my granddaddy started it, then my daddy screwed Davidson out of his half, and now I own the whole thing."
  • (Joe Jack) "Harley-Davidson, no s***?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "No s***."
  • (Joe Jack) "Hey, everybody. Ed the Third here owns Harley-Davidson. We're the Nazis from Natchez."
  • (Chevy Chase) "What do you mean, toxic waste?"
  • (Richard Libertini) "Well, it's some special stuff. There's only eleven places in the country that makes this s***."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Where? -- Frank, just give me the ones that aren't in New Jersey."
  • (Richard Libertini) "Uh, there's only one."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Figuring out that the guy who dropped my watch in the swamp was the same guy who stole it at the morgue didn't take Sherlock Holmes -- Larry Holmes could've figured that one out."
  • (Chevy Chase) "The Reverend Farnsworth was Becky's father, but I wasn't going to hold that against her. If I was going to hold anything against her, it certainly wouldn't be her father."
  • (Chevy Chase) "What can I do to y- for you?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "It's a championship Laker watch."
  • (Cindy Mae) "Oh, are you a Laker?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "I used to date one; only thing I have to remember him by."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Becky was a good girl and didn't need to be spanked -- dammit."

Patricia Kalember as Man

  • (Patricia Kalember) "Uh and you are --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "I'm Claude Henry Carlton Smoot"
  • (Patricia Kalember) "Ca -- ca -- ca --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Claaaauuuuude Henry"
  • (Patricia Kalember) "Ca -- ca -- Carl --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Claude or Carl"
  • (Patricia Kalember) "Carl --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Smoot. Smoot. S-M-M-O-T-T. I'm sorry 2 O's, 1 T."
  • (Patricia Kalember) "Smmoot."
  • (Chevy Chase) "I'm a guest healer."
  • (Patricia Kalember) "-- a guest healer --"
  • (Chevy Chase) "Healed."
  • (Patricia Kalember) "Uh, sir, this is a secure area."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Well, I'm very happy for you, son. Most people live in terrible neighborhoods."

Cleavon Little as Calculus Entropy

  • (Cleavon Little) "Our families go back for hundreds of years; your great-grandparents owned my great-grandparents and that's how it all started."
  • (Chevy Chase) "You ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?"
  • (Cleavon Little) "Well I heard something about it, but I don't recall exactly. It didn't get too much publicity around these here parts."
  • (Chevy Chase) "I'll bet."
  • (Cleavon Little) "Should I be doing anything?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "No, not really, um -- as soon as you get that trunk upstairs and have finished your nap I guess you could fix that step and jump down, turn around and pick a bale of cotton. And while I'm gone see to it Miss Scarlet stays away from the Union army will you?"
  • (Cleavon Little) "How do you do? I be Calculus Entropy, you be Mr. and Mrs. Fletcher?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "I be Fletch, Geometry Fletch. She be Miss Trigonometry Ross."

R. Lee Ermey as Jimmy Lee Farnsworth

  • (R. Lee Ermey) "Irwin, admit that you are a sinner."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Uh. Well, I've sinned. I didn't take any Polaroids or anything. But, yeah, I've sinned."
  • (R. Lee Ermey) "The Lord forgives ya."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Amen. What? Other sins? Uh, I parked in a handicap spot on my way up here. Actually, on a handicap person. I told him I'd be back in five minutes, so that's not such a big deal."
  • (R. Lee Ermey) "You don't suppose I used too many photographs of myself do you?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "No, no. Worked for the Ayatollah."

Randall "Tex" Cobb as Ben Dover

  • (Randall "Tex" Cobb) "Take your pants off."
  • (Chevy Chase) "I don't even know your name."
  • (Randall "Tex" Cobb) "Bend over."
  • (Chevy Chase) "Ben? Nice to meet you, Victor Hugo."

Hal Holbrook as Hamilton "Ham" Johnson

  • (Hal Holbrook) "So tragic when this happens to somebody so young and healthy. Was she feeling alright last night?"
  • (Chevy Chase) "She felt great to me."

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