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G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (1985 TV series) Quotes

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero is a Military Action -adventure; Military science fiction; Superhero fiction that appeared on TV in 1983 on Television syndication. G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero ended in 1986.

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero was on for 2 seasons and 95 episodes. It features Don Jurwich, Jim Duffy as producer, Michael Bell; Arthur Burghardt; Corey Burton; William Callaway; Brian Cummings; Richard Gautier; Ed Gilbert; Christopher Collins, Morgan Lofting, Mary McDonald-Lewis, and Bill Ratner; Sgt. Slaughter; B. J. Ward doing voices, and Johnny Douglas; Robert J. Walsh as composer. G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero is executive produced by Joe Bacal, David H. DePatie, Margaret Loesch, Tom Griffin, and Lee Gunther. G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero is created by Hasbro.

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero is 30 min. long. G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero is produced by Hasbro; Sunbow Entertainment; Marvel Productions; Toei Animation and distributed by Claster Television. Spinoffs for this show include G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero; G.I. Joe Extreme.

The cast includes: Patrick Pinney as Mainframe, William Callaway as Beachhead, Bill Ratner as Flint, Michael Bell as Torch, Neil Ross as Buzzer, Brian Cummings as Doc, Richard Gautier as Serpentor, Arthur Burghardt as Destro, Zack Hoffman as Zartan, Mary McDonald-Lewis as Lady Jaye, Sgt. Slaughter as Sgt. Slaughter, Chuck McCann as Leatherneck, B. J. Ward as Scarlett, Jerry Houser as Sci-Fi, Charlie Adler as Low-Light, Loren Lester as Barbecue, Corey Burton as Tomax, Morgan Lofting as Baroness, Kene Holliday as Roadblock, François Chau as Quick Kick, Michael McConnohie as Cross-Country, Libby Aubrey as Cover Girl, Stan Wojno as Lifeline, and Jack Angel as Wet Suit.

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Quotes

Libby Aubrey as Cover Girl

  • (Libby Aubrey) "Figures, Shipwreck. You would be in the sleaziest hole in Hollywood."
  • (Unnamed) "Aw, shut up and fight."
  • (Libby Aubrey) "Sorry, guys. We've got to borrow your Flight Pods and a Rattler to look for our pals."
  • (Unnamed) "Tell all the starlets I'll be back to sign autographs."
  • (Libby Aubrey) "Shipwreck."
  • (Unnamed) "Ah, you're no fun any more."

Bill Ratner as Flint

  • (Bill Ratner) "Remember, a Cobra is a snake and snake is sneak spelled sideways."
  • (Bill Ratner) "We can't let him shake us. That nickel-noggin bozo is all the Cobra brass we've got."
  • (Arthur Burghardt) "This is one 'bozo' who won't be got at all."
  • (Bill Ratner) "There."
  • (Unnamed) "All's fair in love and war."
  • (Unnamed) "It could have been WONDERFUL, Flint."
  • (Mary McDonald-Lewis) "Are you SURE that stuff wore off?"
  • (Bill Ratner) "Okay, what in the name of sanity are you people doing here? This is a restricted area."

Jerry Houser as Sci-Fi

  • (Jerry Houser) "All this for that?"
  • (Charlie Adler) "Some nights, it just doesn't pay to get out of bed."

Zack Hoffman as Zartan

  • (Zack Hoffman) "What's the matter, old Flint? Up a tree are you?"
  • (Zack Hoffman) "Mwahaha."
  • (Bill Ratner) "Laugh this off, happy boy."
  • (Zack Hoffman) "The crucial, final fragment of the Weather Dominator, the laser core itself, is now entirely in my possession: a prize which I offer to the highest bidder. G.I. Joe? Cobra? The world belongs to one of you. The one with the greatest bank account."

Corey Burton as Tomax

  • (Corey Burton) "No. Please don't."
  • (Unnamed) "Stop."
  • (Mary McDonald-Lewis) "What's going on? I didn't even touch him."
  • (Bill Ratner) "They must be telepathic. Whenever one of them feels something the other one feels it."

Chuck McCann as Leatherneck

  • (Chuck McCann) "Excuse me for being a lame brain."
  • (Jack Angel) "You're excused, lame brain."

Patrick Pinney as Mainframe

  • (Patrick Pinney) "Beach Head, I wanna talk to you about your deodorant"
  • (William Callaway) "What do you mean? I don't use deodorant."
  • (Patrick Pinney) "That's what I wanna talk to you about."
  • (Patrick Pinney) "Looks like Cobra's running an international mail order business."
  • (William Callaway) "Like what? The Snake of the Month Club?"

Neil Ross as Buzzer

  • (Neil Ross) "Say your prayers, Yank."
  • (Unnamed) "Now I lay YOU down to sleep."

B. J. Ward as Scarlett

  • (B. J. Ward) "Hey, I thought dinosaurs were STUPID."
  • (Bill Ratner) "They just don't make 'em like they used to."
  • (B. J. Ward) "I missed you, Duke."
  • (Unnamed) "You sure did."
  • (Unnamed) "By that much."
  • (Unnamed) "I feel like John Wayne under a stage coach."
  • (B. J. Ward) "Let's go, Pilgrim."
  • (Unnamed) "Scarlett, when do tourists stop being friendly?"
  • (B. J. Ward) "When they sign up for the Cobra Travel Plan, Duke."
  • (Unnamed) "Cold Slither? Sounds like cobra stuff to me."
  • (B. J. Ward) "No, Duke. Cold Slither's a rock band."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, I-I guess I haven't been keeping up with things around here."
  • (B. J. Ward) "Hey, why didn't you just yell "Look out."?"
  • (Unnamed) "Didn't you read my green sheet? I'm a man of action."

Kene Holliday as Roadblock

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Arthur Burghardt as Destro

  • (Arthur Burghardt) "The ion attractor generates forces strong enough to pull down the Aurora Borealis, the ions melt the ice, eventually raising the water level eighty feet around the world. Every coastal city will be flooded. And then with the world in chaos, Cobra strikes."
  • (Mary McDonald-Lewis) "Brilliant, Destro. I bet you'd take first prize at the science fair."
  • (Arthur Burghardt) "Beware, Lady Jaye. With so sharp a tongue you could cut your own throat."
  • (Arthur Burghardt) "Using the full power of the laser core on Washington could leave us vulnerable to counter-attack."
  • (Zack Hoffman) "Nonsense. There is no possible way for G.I. Joe to resist the Weather Dominator."
  • (Arthur Burghardt) "I will not have my opinions questioned by a penny-ante quick-change artist."
  • (Unnamed) "What would you have me do with Washington, Destro? Pepper it with spitballs?"
  • (Arthur Burghardt) "Premature panic is the sign of an immature mind."

Mary McDonald-Lewis as Lady Jaye

  • (Mary McDonald-Lewis) "You're not just gonna let him nap there, are you, Duke?"
  • (Unnamed) "I have a policy about ten foot bears. Lady, as far as I'm concerned, they can sleep anywhere they want."
  • (Mary McDonald-Lewis) "Could someone please pass me my pants? I'm a little too big for my britches."
  • (Mary McDonald-Lewis) "Maybe we have an ancestor in common?"
  • (Arthur Burghardt) "I find that to be most distasteful."

Charlie Adler as Low-Light

  • (Charlie Adler) "You gotta be tougher than that. I'm no wimp any more. I'm a G.I. Joe, and nothing stops a G.I. Joe. Nothing."

Loren Lester as Barbecue

  • (Loren Lester) "Dreadnoks may be cops in this world but they're still stupid."

Jack Angel as Wet Suit

  • (Jack Angel) "Next time we're in combat, Leatherneck, remind me to get right in front of you. That'll be the safest place."

Richard Gautier as Serpentor

  • (Richard Gautier) "There can be no negotiation, you insolent microbe."

Michael McConnohie as Cross-Country

  • (Michael McConnohie) "Ted Stuart, you is avenged."

François Chau as Quick Kick

  • (François Chau) "I'm the Barber of Seville."

Michael Bell as Torch

  • (Michael Bell) "Aw, look at the lovely monkeys we bagged."
  • (Neil Ross) "Don't look like monkeys to me, Torch. They look like trout -- just before you pop 'em in the frying pan and eat 'em."

Stan Wojno as Lifeline

  • (Stan Wojno) "Hey, Low-Light. Does it ever occur to you there might be an easier way of settling disputes?"
  • (Charlie Adler) "Yeah, Lifeline. It's called a gun."

Sgt. Slaughter as Sgt. Slaughter

  • (Sgt. Slaughter) "Give your hearts to America, Joes, 'cause your butts belong to me."

Brian Cummings as Doc

  • (Unnamed) "What did you do that for, Lady Jaye? He'll make us eat that homemade Cajun gumbo of his."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah. Last time we used it to fuel the Skystrikers."
  • (Unnamed) "Gumbo builds muscles. Right, Doc?"
  • (Brian Cummings) "Well, it's certainly given you a cast-iron stomach."

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