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Gigli Quotes

Gigli is a television program that debuted in 1970 . Gigli stopped airing in 1970.

It features Martin Brest, and Casey Silver as producer, John Powell (composer) in charge of musical score, and Robert Elswit as head of cinematography.

Gigli is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Gigli is 121 minutes long. Gigli is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Jennifer Lopez as Ricki, Ben Affleck as Larry Gigli, Christopher Walken as Det. Stanley Jacobellis, Al Pacino as Starkman, Justin Bartha as Brian, Lenny Venito as Louis, and Missy Crider as Robin.

Gigli Quotes

Christopher Walken as Det. Stanley Jacobellis

  • (Christopher Walken) "Your door's not thick enough to pretend you're not home when you're home."
  • (Christopher Walken) "Larry, it's your mother."
  • (Christopher Walken) "I know. You don't know nothin'. I can tell, just by lookin' at you."
  • (Christopher Walken) "Larry, I have a chicken."
  • (Christopher Walken) "Man, you know what I'd love to do, right now? Go down to Marie Callender's, get me a big bowl, pie, some ice cream on it, mmm-hmm good. Put some on your head. Your tongue would slap your brains out trying to get to it. INTERESTED? SURE?"

Ben Affleck as Larry Gigli

  • (Ben Affleck) "Suck-my-dick.com."
  • (Ben Affleck) "Don't tell me what we're supposed to do."
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "How about this? You leave him alone or I'll kill you."
  • (Ben Affleck) "You'll kill me? f*** you, go ahead."
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "I'll kill you."
  • (Ben Affleck) "You don't tell me what to do, okay? Don't tell me what we might do, don't tell me what we're supposed to do, don't tell me what we maybe should do, don't ever tell me nothing."
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "I'll tell you this. You leave him alone or I'll kill you."
  • (Ben Affleck) "What?"
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "You know, I bet you'd look great in some mascara."
  • (Ben Affleck) "I'm not sure how to take that."
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "It's a compliment."
  • (Ben Affleck) "Hey, you wanna turn that down?"
  • (Unnamed) "You f***ing turn it down."
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "I don't think this is the best time to be drawing attention to ourselves."
  • (Ben Affleck) "Hey, Beavis, turn the f***ing radio off."
  • (Unnamed) "What the f*** is your problem, bitch?"
  • (Ben Affleck) ""Bitch"?"
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "You know what, creating a scene right now would be a bad thing."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, that's right. Why don't you come here so we can kick your ass."
  • (Ben Affleck) "Mr. Starkman --"
  • (Al Pacino) "I KNOW MY f***IN' NAME. You piece of s***. You don't try to extort a Federal-f***in'-Prosecutor. And if you do, YOU DON'T f*** AROUND."
  • (Ben Affleck) "You know something? You're right. It is sadness. Its sadness and I'm f***ing sad. You got me. You're a genius. You know why I'm f***ing sad? Because I got this f***ing beautiful-sexy-gorgeous-hearthrob-o-rama-f***ing-smart-amazing-bombshell-seventeen-on a f***ing ten scale- girl sleeping in a bed right next to me and you know what? She's a stone cold dike. A f***ing untouchable, unhaveable, unattainable brick wall f***ing dike-a-saurus rexi. So its sad. Okay? What you want me to do? I feel f***ing sadness about that. There's nothing I can f***ing do."
  • (Ben Affleck) "And not only is she a major babe, but I really like this girl a lot, a lot, I mean she's not like anybody else I ever knew before and that's a completely f***ing new one on me, and I don't even know her real f***ing name so there you go. Oh and in case you're interested, my life sucks. Alright? Stick a fork in me I'm done."
  • (Ben Affleck) "Lemme tell you something, in every relationship, there's a bull and a cow. It just so happens that in this relationship, right here with me and you, I'm the bull, you're the cow. Alright?"
  • (Ben Affleck) "Bull."
  • (Ben Affleck) "Cow. You got that?"
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "Yeah, I got it. Bull, cow."
  • (Unnamed) "Is she your sweetheart?"
  • (Ben Affleck) "Ma."
  • (Ben Affleck) "This must be mental-f***in'-illness week."
  • (Ben Affleck) "If by some f***in' miracle long shot you haven't heard of my reputation let me tell you who the f*** I am. I am the f***in' Sultan of Slick, Sadie. I am the rule of f***in' cool. You wanna be a gangster? You wanna be a thug? You sit at my f***in' feet and gather the pearls that emanate forth from me. Because I'm the f***in' original, straight-first-foremost, pimp-mack, f***in hustler, original gangster's gangster."
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm gonna go get my stuff."

Jennifer Lopez as Ricki

  • (Jennifer Lopez) "I thought you wanted to be my bitch."
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "It's turkey time."
  • (Ben Affleck) "Huh?"
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "Gobble, gobble."
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "Like your mother said, life's not always black and white. Sometimes you just never know."
  • (Ben Affleck) "Are you driving, or are you bulls***ting?"
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "I'm driving."
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "You know, I heard you were a bit of a f***-up. But, frankly, I'm amazed at how much of a f***-up you really are."
  • (Jennifer Lopez) "She thinks I'm beautiful."
  • (Ben Affleck) "Yeah, well, she's blind in one eye."

Al Pacino as Starkman

  • (Al Pacino) "What do you morons think, that this is little Italy? Wake up. THIS IS THE TWENTY-f***IN'-FIRST CENTURY."
  • (Al Pacino) "So now, things are bad."

Justin Bartha as Brian

  • (Justin Bartha) "She's like the ones at the Baywatch. They make my penis sneeze."
  • (Ben Affleck) "You got a good sense of humor,you know that?"
  • (Justin Bartha) "God bless you."
  • (Ben Affleck) "Thank you."
  • (Justin Bartha) "No, not you, stupid. When my penis sneezes, I say, 'God bless you' -- God bless you, penis."
  • (Justin Bartha) "Lady, you need some Band-Aids."

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