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Holy Matrimony (1994 film) Quotes

Holy Matrimony (1994 film) is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . Holy Matrimony completed its run in 1970.

It features William Stuart as producer, Bruce Broughton in charge of musical score, and Bobby Bukowski as head of cinematography.

Holy Matrimony (1994 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States flagicon Each episode of Holy Matrimony (1994 film) is 93 minutes long. Holy Matrimony (1994 film) is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The cast includes: Armin Mueller-Stahl as Wilhelm, Patricia Arquette as Havana, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Ezekiel, and Mary Pat Gleason as Female Officer.

Holy Matrimony (1994 film) Quotes

Mary Pat Gleason as Female Officer

  • (Mary Pat Gleason) "Welcome to the U.S. of A."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Thank you."
  • (Mary Pat Gleason) "Do you have anything to declare?"
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "We're visiting family in Montana for the day -- visiting family in Montana for the day --"
  • (Mary Pat Gleason) "Okay, I heard you the first time. Do you have anything to declare?"
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Um -- family -- in Montana -- for the day --"
  • (Mary Pat Gleason) "Do you have anything to DECLARE? Anything you want to tell me?"
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Alright, my brother robbed a fair."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Rats. In my face. All night long. I don't wanna go to jail. I hate face rats."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "I am sorry. It is our honeymoon. He is just nervous."
  • (Mary Pat Gleason) "He's looking a little green, isn't he?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "They're still trainable that way."
  • (Mary Pat Gleason) "This farming permit isn't legal in the States, so you'll have to drive. He can try again when he starts shaving."

Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Ezekiel

  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "I hate being married to you. I hate it. Any man would."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "Then do something about it. Give me my money and I'm outta here. One quick divorce and I'm Havana What-was-her-name."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Well, it sounds good, but what is it for?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "It is a ticket out of hell."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "No --"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "No, you listen."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "Let me take the heat on this one. If you tell Uncle Wilhelm that I am a lousy wife, with lousy wifely skills, and an overbearing sexual appetite, he is gonna cut us both a little slack. You give me my money, and I'm gone."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "It's cold out here."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "Is that better?"
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Do you think my brother was a bad person?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "No. He just didn't know how to listen."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "To what?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "To that little voice inside that tells you what's okay and what's not."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Do you hear it?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "Sometimes."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Uh -- w-will -- w-will you um -- d-do you wanna --"
  • (Armin Mueller-Stahl) "Go ahead, Ezekial, go ahead."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Do you wanna --"
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "do you -- wha -- ma -- do you wanna -- you know what I mean. I can't breathe. I can't breathe."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "You guys have been out in the sun for too long."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Do you -- marry --"
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Do you wanna marry me or not, you dumb pig."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "Guys, I have to admit this is one goofy twist on the whole boy/girl thing, but let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater, okay? If you had told me out on the street that the Bible is the happening book that I now think it is, you could've knocked me over with a feather. But guys, I have seen the light. I have been saved. So if the only way I can stick around here and soak up more of this religion stuff is to get hitched to the little midget, then count me in, honey."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "My answer is yes."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "I'll marry the little brat, but that little fainting trick has got to go."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Next to murder, this is the worst sin there is. And I'm married to it. What does he have that I don't?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "Nothing. About twenty hard years. Strong arms. Kisses great. It was the usual bar pickup stuff."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "What about the real husband stuff? What about that?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "What is that?"
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Can you trust him? Does he pray? Is he kind to plants and animals? Is his heart golden? Isn't this what a real husband supposed to be?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "I think I'm gonna be sick."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "But Uncle Wilhelm, I'm only 12-years-old. I still hate girls. I would much prefer a frog."
  • (Armin Mueller-Stahl) "Don't disgrace yourself in the eyes of God. Ask her."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "But I'd make a bad husband. Don't make me do this."
  • (Armin Mueller-Stahl) "You must, child."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Why didn't you tell me you can't drive?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "I can drive. I just can't drive stick."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Why is it so hard? It's simple."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "If it was simple, I could do it."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Look, you put your foot on the gears as you turn the wheel. Then, you take your foot off the gears and you step on the gas."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "That's what I'm doing."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "No you're not. God, why do you start so much?"
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "What about the mating part?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "Oh, it's not all that it's cracked up to be."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "So --"
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "we don't have to do that part?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "No. You just wait 'til you're with someone you love with all your heart."

Patricia Arquette as Havana

  • (Patricia Arquette) "It's getting pretty hazy. It better start coming clearer. This steel is getting tiring."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "You want to go to sleep?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "No, I don't mean tired like that. You know, tired like I'm just sick of pretending all the time."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "Here, put this on."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "What do you pretend about?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "Well, for one thing, my name isn't really Havana."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "It's not?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "No, it's Betsy. Betsy Iggins. I thought Havana sounded better, more glam, more with it. Kinda like those one-name things like Madonna, Cher, Marilyn --"
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Who's Marilyn?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "Who's Marilyn? Marilyn Monroe. Only my hero."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "Why?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "Zeke, she was beautiful. She had fabulous houses and boats and men and cars and furs and jewels and clothes. Everything a girl could want."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "And she had a nice family, too?"
  • (Patricia Arquette) "Well, that part didn't work out so good."
  • (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) "But you said she had everything. And if she didn't have a nice family, it sounds like she had nothing."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "Even Marilyn wasn't always Marilyn. She had to do stuff to get to be Marilyn -- and it wasn't always stuff she liked. She did it anyhow. Eye on the ball. Keep your eye on the ball."

Armin Mueller-Stahl as Wilhelm

  • (Armin Mueller-Stahl) "By our law, Ezekiel has the obligation to ask you to marry him. There's no need for alarm. If you simply refuse him, then that will be that."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "Then what will be what?"
  • (Armin Mueller-Stahl) "You'll have to leave."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "What do you mean, I have to leave?"
  • (Armin Mueller-Stahl) "Here's one hundred dollars. And we'll drive you to the bus stop and take you into the city."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "You can't just kick me out."
  • (Armin Mueller-Stahl) "Nobody wants to kick you out, but we have no choice. As an outsider, you will not be permitted to remain here. It's for the best. The Hutterite is not for you."
  • (Patricia Arquette) "So I have to leave now with this hundred dollars?"
  • (Armin Mueller-Stahl) "I'm sorry."

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