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Hot Tub Time Machine Quotes

Hot Tub Time Machine is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . Hot Tub Time Machine stopped airing in 1970.

It features John Cusack as producer, Christophe Beck in charge of musical score, and Jack N. Green as head of cinematography.

Hot Tub Time Machine is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Hot Tub Time Machine is 99 minutes long. Hot Tub Time Machine is distributed by MGM Distribution Co..

The cast includes: Rob Corddry as Lou, Clark Duke as Jacob, John Cusack as Adam, Sebastian Stan as Blaine, Crispin Glover as Phil, Craig Robinson as Nick, Jessica Paré as Tara, Lizzy Caplan as April, and Chevy Chase as Repairman.

Hot Tub Time Machine Quotes

John Cusack as Adam

  • (John Cusack) "One little change has a ripple effect and it effects everything else. Like a butterfly floats its wings and Tokyo explodes or there's a tsunami, in like, you know, somewhere."
  • (Clark Duke) "Yes exactly. You step on the bug and the f***ing internet is never invented."
  • (Rob Corddry) "Oh then you'll have to talk to girls with your mouth."
  • (Clark Duke) "Yeah. No. I was more concerned about bigger consequences like not being born."
  • (Rob Corddry) "Yeah. No. I don't care about that."
  • (John Cusack) "Why don't you do something out of the house this weekend?"
  • (Clark Duke) "What should I do out of the house this weekend Uncle Adam?"
  • (John Cusack) "Something in the course of reality, get a job, go to college."
  • (Clark Duke) "That all sounds overrated."
  • (John Cusack) "You are the patron saint of the totally f***ed. You're completely toxic. There's nothing you can't kill. You're the f***ing Violator."
  • (John Cusack) "Why do you waste your time with that second-life bulls***? Look at you. You're still in jail. You were in jail last week."
  • (Clark Duke) "Yeah, I'm a prisoner. It's called "doing hard time"."
  • (John Cusack) "Can't you be like a warrior or shaman or orc or some s*** like that?"

Clark Duke as Jacob

  • (Clark Duke) "Is that why you have that shoebox in your closet, marked "Cincinatti" ?"
  • (Clark Duke) "Do I really gotta be the asshole who says we got in this thing and went back in time?"
  • (Clark Duke) "Hey look, it's the douchbag from Karate Kid 3."
  • (Clark Duke) "For your information, I've had a lot of girlfriends. Hot ones."
  • (Rob Corddry) "You have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones."
  • (Clark Duke) "The taxidermist is stuffing my mother."
  • (Clark Duke) "I knew I hated you for a reason, I'm gonna tell everyone in prison I went back in time to kill my own father."
  • (Clark Duke) "She dumped you -- and you still got stabbed in the eye."

Craig Robinson as Nick

  • (Craig Robinson) "How am I supposed to get a job?"
  • (Craig Robinson) "Excuse me Miss, what color is Michael Jackson?"
  • (Unnamed) "-- black?"
  • (Craig Robinson) "AAHHH."
  • (Craig Robinson) "It must be some kind of hot tub time machine --"
  • (Craig Robinson) "Ko -- di -- ak --"
  • (Rob Corddry) "-- Valley. f***in' K-Vals."
  • (Craig Robinson) "Lou, why would he do this?"
  • (John Cusack) "Why? I mean make a list. He's an alcoholic, he's divorced, his wife ran off with that Jamaican guy."
  • (Craig Robinson) "He's failed at every jived ass money hustle he's ever tried."
  • (John Cusack) "He has a mountain of debt."
  • (Craig Robinson) "He hates his mother."
  • (John Cusack) "Hates himself, hates everybody."
  • (Craig Robinson) "He has erectile dysfunction."
  • (John Cusack) "He's got halitosis."
  • (Craig Robinson) "He's got that right ball. One less ball, shriveled up"
  • (John Cusack) "Oh yeah."
  • (Craig Robinson) "-- like a -- spoiled grape."
  • (John Cusack) "I don't know. It's just like an accumulation of punishment."
  • (Rob Corddry) "f*** YOU GUYS."
  • (Craig Robinson) "Just like Cincinatti."
  • (Rob Corddry) "What?"
  • (John Cusack) "You're gonna bring that up?"
  • (Rob Corddry) "We said we weren't gonna talk about Cincinatti ever, okay?"
  • (Clark Duke) "Is that why you have that shoebox in your closet that says "Cincinatti"?"
  • (John Cusack) "Yeah."
  • (Rob Corddry) "What? That's f***ing admissible."
  • (Craig Robinson) "You keep it in the closet?"
  • (John Cusack) "What was I supposed to do with it? You can't bury those things."
  • (Craig Robinson) "You wrote "Cincinatti" on it?"
  • (John Cusack) "How do I know which one it's supposed to be?"
  • (Clark Duke) "Is it a fetus?"
  • (Craig Robinson) "My friends are ridiculous."
  • (Craig Robinson) "Muthaf***a."

Rob Corddry as Lou

  • (Rob Corddry) "f***in' Russian energy drink, Chernobly. Its got this s*** in it, not even legal here."
  • (John Cusack) "Whats in it?"
  • (Rob Corddry) "How the f*** am I supposed to know dude, but it's illegal."
  • (Rob Corddry) "Here's a question. Was it morally wrong for me to exploit my knowledge of the future for personal financial gain? Perhaps. Here's another question. Do I give a f***?"
  • (Rob Corddry) "Outta my way stool"
  • (Rob Corddry) "Don't f***in' lie to me, every one of you people have ritalin."
  • (Rob Corddry) "God. Relax. It's like you've haven't seen a little cum on your friends face before."
  • (Rob Corddry) "Why don't you shut your slut mouth, and mind your own f***ing business?"
  • (Rob Corddry) "If I wanted to kill myself, I'd f***ing kill myself. I'd be awesome at it. A shotgun to the dick."
  • (Rob Corddry) "We could combine Twitter and Viagra -- Twitagra"
  • (Rob Corddry) "Oh, wow, good for you."
  • (Craig Robinson) "I know, right?"
  • (Rob Corddry) "It's like Gary Coleman's f***ing forearm. It's so black, so impossibly black. Oh God, I love you buddy."
  • (Craig Robinson) "Don't say that."
  • (Rob Corddry) "I'm sorry, I do."
  • (Receptionist) "I do have a reservation here for a Nick Webber-Agnew."
  • (Rob Corddry) "-- Webber-Agnew?, Webber f***ing Agnew?, you took your wife's last name?"
  • (Craig Robinson) "It's progressive, a lot of dudes are doing it."
  • (Rob Corddry) "If that guy doesn't lose his arm soon, I'm gonna f***ing take it from him myself."
  • (Rob Corddry) "I wanna f*** something."
  • (Rob Corddry) "I can't believe I'm f***ing Adam's sister. I'm doing it. Oh God. I'm gonna cum. Shia Lebeouf. Dropping loads. So much f***ing semen. Little Tiny Jacobs."
  • (Rob Corddry) "Every young man's fantasy is to have a three-way."
  • (Clark Duke) "Yeah not with another f***ing guy."
  • (Rob Corddry) "It's still a three-way."

Chevy Chase as Repairman

  • (Chevy Chase) "Maybe what you need isn't in here. Maybe what you need, has been in here all along."

Lizzy Caplan as April

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Sebastian Stan as Blaine

  • (Sebastian Stan) "America."

Crispin Glover as Phil

  • (Crispin Glover) "Are you raping?"

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