How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog Quotes

How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog stopped airing in 1970.

It features Michael Nozik as producer, David Robbins in charge of musical score, and Hubert Taczanowski as head of cinematography.

How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog is 107 minutes long. How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog is distributed by Lonsdale Productions.

The cast includes: Peter Riegert as Larry, Kenneth Branagh as Peter McGowan, Kaitlin Hopkins as Victoria, Johnathon Schaech as Adam, Peri Gilpin as Debra Salhany, Robin Wright as Melanie McGowan, Lynn Redgrave as Edna, Kenneth Branagh as Peter McGowen, and Suzi Hofrichter as Amy Walsh.

How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog Quotes

Kenneth Branagh as Peter McGowan

• (Kenneth Branagh) "Seems to me only the intelligent people are choosing not to reproduce."

• (Kenneth Branagh) "-- But maybe that's everything in writing; a catchy title."
• (Peri Gilpin) "So is that why you decided to call your first novel How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog?"
• (Kenneth Branagh) "Oh, that isn't mere affectation. That's a practical guidebook full of juicy bits on suburban terrorism."
• (Peri Gilpin) "-- but, uh, what if somebody reads this and goes out and kills their neighbor's dog?"
• (Kenneth Branagh) "Oh, well, what are you gonna do?"

• (Kenneth Branagh) "Are you drunk or something?"
• (Peter Riegert) "What time is it?"
• (Kenneth Branagh) "Four."
• (Peter Riegert) "Yep."

• (Kenneth Branagh) "Now I know what a Muppet feels like."

• (Kenneth Branagh) "Hollywood doesn't want writers, so much as secretaries with a flare for dialogue. If you want to be happy in Hollywood, be a cinematographer. Nobody knows what you're doing, so they can't screw with you."

• (Kenneth Branagh) "I hated being a kid."
• (Suzi Hofrichter) "Do you like being a grown up?"
• (Kenneth Branagh) "Well now, I like being adult. As for being grown up, that's uh rather elusive. But the truth is that most adults tend to romanticize childhood, which is absolutely delusional. I mean, most childhood fears are as great or more so than adult fears. Don't you think?"

• (Kenneth Branagh) "Can I have a valediction, father?"
• (Peter Riegert) "Say four Goly f*** You's and keep drinking."

• (Kenneth Branagh) "You know, to me sex education was always missing the answer to that key question, which was, yeah, how do I get me some?"
• (Kenneth Branagh) "O-B-G-Y-N. What kind of acronym is that? Oh-bee guy'n. It's not really imaginative, I mean, you should come up with something that spells vagina; Vaginal Association of Gynecological Interns Navigating --"
• (Robin Wright) "Peter, give the doctor some quiet."
• (Kenneth Branagh) "I'm sure it was an oversight on God's part when He positioned the gateway to paradise so dangerously close to the --"
• (Robin Wright) "Peter. Don't stand there and stare at my crotch."
• (Kenneth Branagh) "Well, anything else would be considered inappropriate, my dear."

Peter Riegert as Larry

• (Peter Riegert) "You're lucky. You got Melanie. There are men who'd die for her."
• (Kenneth Branagh) "Yeah, die for her, or have her kill you. Either way, you're dead."
• (Peter Riegert) "Still having trouble satiating, are we?"
• (Kenneth Branagh) "I think the doorbell's heard my wife shout "I'm coming" more than I have these days."

Johnathon Schaech as Adam

• (Johnathon Schaech) "Cunnilingus. I've been reading that word since I was 13 and I still can't seem to wrap my tounge around it. Wait -- was that a pun, or just bad taste? Wait -- that may have been another pun."

• (Johnathon Schaech) "They say women are the sensitive ones, but I've never seen it. They're as cold as party ice."
• (Kaitlin Hopkins) "I don't think that sucking on countless nipples makes one an authority on sensitivity."

• (Johnathon Schaech) "I met a man yesterday with a grown son. He told me, looking back, he should have raised the placenta instead."

Robin Wright as Melanie McGowan

• (Robin Wright) "Other houses have M&Ms, we stock up with Smarties. It's like living at the duty-free-shop at Heathrow."

• (Robin Wright) "You know, you're going to have to cut that out when the baby comes."
• (Kenneth Branagh) "What? Are you expecting it tonight?"

• (Robin Wright) "You ever done it in a vehicle?"
• (Kenneth Branagh) "Well -- that time in Idyllwild, remember? But -- I'm not driving this time --"

• (Robin Wright) "Maybe you should see a therapist about your anxiety."
• (Kenneth Branagh) "That's exactly what I'm afraid of. What if he cures me? Then, I'll have nothing to write about. Nobody wants to know about how happy you are."
• (Robin Wright) "Oh, I don't think you ever have to worry about an over-abundance of happiness, dear."

Peri Gilpin as Debra Salhany

• (Peri Gilpin) "Thanks for sticking around, Peter."
• (Kenneth Branagh) "Thanks for letting me be sticky, Debbie."

• (Peri Gilpin) "So, how did you meet your wife?"
• (Kenneth Branagh) "She was a lap dancer, I had a pocket full of singles -- No, she was a dancer. For a brief period, she gave acting a try. She came in for an audition, and the rest as they say is histrionics."
• (Peri Gilpin) "So, you employed the casting couch?"
• (Kenneth Branagh) "Hey, whatever works. You know that, Deborah."

Lynn Redgrave as Edna

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Kaitlin Hopkins as Victoria

• (Kaitlin Hopkins) "You're an alcoholic."
• (Johnathon Schaech) "Alcoholics have class. I'm a f***ing drunk."

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