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I Love Lucy Quotes

I Love Lucy is a television show that appeared on TV in 1951 on CBS. I Love Lucy ended in 1957.

I Love Lucy was on for 6 seasons and 180 (including the "lost" Christmas episode and original pilot) episodes. It features Jess Oppenheimer as producer, Eliot Daniel as theme composer, and Eliot Daniel as composer.

I Love Lucy is recorded in English, Spanish and originally aired in United States. Each episode of I Love Lucy is 23-26.5 minutes unedited, including opening and closing credits long. I Love Lucy is produced by Desilu Productions and distributed by Viacom (original). Spinoffs for this show include The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour.

The cast includes: Richard Keith as Lucy Ricardo, William Frawley as Fred Mertz, Vivian Vance as Ethel Mertz, and Richard Keith as Ricky Ricardo.

I Love Lucy Quotes

Richard Keith as Lucy Ricardo

  • (Richard Keith) "Did Ricky give you a tough day?"
  • (Richard Keith) "No, just the same as any other day: after breakfast, I put on his snow suit. I pull on his galoshes. I slip on his mittens. I walk him to the park. He chases the pigeons. I chase after him. He runs after the squirrels. I run after him. He get's on the swing. I push the swing. We go on the teeter-totter. He teeters, I totter. Then we leave the park and we walk home. I pull off his galoshes. I pull off his mittens. I pull off his snow suit. I tell him to go into his room and play with his teddy bear. And that is why you find me sitting here with my coat and my boots on."
  • (Richard Keith) "Whew. I'm worn out from just listening."
  • (Richard Keith) "He's put his foot down so many times, I feel like I'm married to a cuban centipede."
  • (Richard Keith) "Ah, that must be my good friend Ethel. Don't get up Fredrick, I'll get it."
  • (William Frawley) "Get it? I was gonna lock it."
  • (Richard Keith) "This whole thing is Ricky's fault."
  • (Richard Keith) "MY FAULT?"
  • (Richard Keith) "Yeah, if you hadn't have left Cuba to come to America, we wouldn't have gotten married and we never would've come to Switzerland in the first place."
  • (Richard Keith) "If some other woman were to take Fred away from you, you'd be singing a different tune, too."
  • (Vivian Vance) "Yeah, "Happy Days Are Here Again"."
  • (Richard Keith) "Who's that?"
  • (William Frawley) "Who's that? WHAT'S that?"
  • (Richard Keith) "How do spell s'perience?"
  • (Richard Keith) "E-x-p"
  • (Richard Keith) "E-x? You're kidding."
  • (Richard Keith) "I got the Gobloots from a Blu-Shoo bird?"
  • (Richard Keith) "I made a funny?"
  • (Richard Keith) "How would you feel if Fred was smoldering with jealousy?"
  • (Vivian Vance) "Fred wouldn't smolder if he banged into a blowtorch."
  • (Richard Keith) "Fred, how often is Ethel's checking account overdrawn?"
  • (William Frawley) "Never."
  • (Richard Keith) "Never? How do you manage that?"
  • (Vivian Vance) "It's easy. I never had enough money at one time to open a checking account."
  • (William Frawley) "She spends money like I'm printing it in the basement."
  • (Richard Keith) "My mother told me never to talk to strange men -- whoever she is."
  • (Richard Keith) "I wish there were a place to sit where we could see both sides."
  • (Bus Driver) "There is."
  • (Richard Keith) "Where?"
  • (Bus Driver) "I can strap you to the front of the bus."
  • (Richard Keith) "Well."
  • (Richard Keith) "What are you? The Cuban television network?"
  • (Richard Keith) "Yes. CBS. The Cuban Broadcasting System."
  • (Richard Keith) "You look like an ad for a trip around the world."
  • (Richard Keith) "Did I get any suntan?"
  • (Richard Keith) "No."
  • (Richard Keith) "Oh, darn it."
  • (Richard Keith) "Honey, why don't you forget about getting a suntan. You always get burned with your fair skin."
  • (Richard Keith) "My fur skin?"
  • (Richard Keith) "I won't switch apartments. Understand?"
  • (Richard Keith) "Yes."
  • (Richard Keith) "What did I say?"
  • (Richard Keith) ""I wun't swish aparments"."
  • (Richard Keith) "You two are too nosy."
  • (Richard Keith) "We are not nuzzy."
  • (Richard Keith) "Hey, Ethel. Guess what Ricky got me."
  • (Vivian Vance) "Um -- let's see. A hat? A new dress?"
  • (Richard Keith) "Oh Ethel better. Think about what every woman wants from her husband."
  • (Vivian Vance) "A divorce?"
  • (Unnamed) "Hello, Mr. Ricardo. I'm the man who brought your wife into the world."
  • (Richard Keith) "I don't know whether to thank you or punch you in the nose."
  • (Richard Keith) "I don't like that tone. You are thinking again."
  • (Richard Keith) "There's no law about me going to Romanov's. Perhaps maybe stopping by your table and --"
  • (Richard Keith) "Lucy, if I so much as see your face at Romanov's, I'm gonna wrap you up in brown paper and mail you back to New York. And that's an ultimatum."
  • (Vivian Vance) "An ultimatum? I'm not surprised."
  • (Richard Keith) "I am. I didn't think he knew how to pronounce it."
  • (Richard Keith) "Madam, it doesn't seem to be getting through to you, but this seat is taken."
  • (Richard Keith) "Something's wrong with the electricity. My shaver isn't working."
  • (Richard Keith) "Something's wrong with the gas. My chicken isn't working."
  • (Richard Keith) "I was, uh -- bird-watching."
  • (Richard Keith) "Bird-watching?"
  • (Richard Keith) "Uh, yeah. Do you know that there's a yellow-bellied woodpecker on our lawn?"
  • (Richard Keith) "No, but I know that there's a red-headed cuckoo in the living room."
  • (Richard Keith) "Eeeewwwww."
  • (Richard Keith) "What's the matter with you? Are you crazy or something?"
  • (Richard Keith) "Ricky, we're revolting."
  • (Richard Keith) "No more than usual."
  • (Richard Keith) "I can't afford it."
  • (Richard Keith) "Those must have been the first English words you learned."
  • (Richard Keith) "We've got to use our brains."
  • (Richard Keith) "Well, let's see --"
  • (Richard Keith) "You stay out of this."
  • (Richard Keith) "Ever since we said "I do", there have been so many things that we don't."
  • (Richard Keith) "Lucy. I'm Home."
  • (Richard Keith) "Hey. Tortillas."
  • (Richard Keith) "Yeah. I made them out of Aunt Jemima Tortilla Mix."
  • (Richard Keith) "Oh, I keep forgetting here in America you call them Flap Cakes."
  • (Richard Keith) "Come again?"
  • (Richard Keith) "Hot Jacks?"
  • (Richard Keith) "You were closer with tortillas. They are Hot Cakes."
  • (Richard Keith) "Oh."
  • (Richard Keith) "No, these are Cold Cakes."
  • (Richard Keith) "Ricky, I'd like you to meet my second first husband."
  • (Unnamed) "What is your date of birth?"
  • (Richard Keith) "August 6th."
  • (Unnamed) "August 6th what?"
  • (Richard Keith) "August 6th period."
  • (Richard Keith) "Will you at least wait for us?"
  • (Bus Driver) "Go ahead. TRY me."
  • (Richard Keith) "Go ahead. Try me."
  • (Richard Keith) "Fred, I've got an awful problem on my hands."
  • (William Frawley) "You should have thought about that before you married her."

Vivian Vance as Ethel Mertz

  • (Vivian Vance) "All Fred's taste is in his mouth."
  • (Vivian Vance) "Fred, I'm sorry I said you were a dumb bunny."
  • (William Frawley) "And I'm sorry you're so fat you sat on my glasses and broke'em."
  • (Vivian Vance) "There's lots of things you're good at."
  • (Richard Keith) "Like what?"
  • (Vivian Vance) "Well, you're awfully good at -- uh -- You've always been great at --"
  • (Richard Keith) "Those are the same ones Ricky came up with."
  • (Vivian Vance) "Let's let Ms. Trumble get a load of us."
  • (Vivian Vance) "I refuse to go anywhere with someone who thinks I am a hippopotamus."
  • (Richard Keith) "Lucy, is this true?"
  • (Richard Keith) "No, I just implied that she was a little hippy -- though she has got the biggest potamus I've ever seen."
  • (Vivian Vance) "What are you writing about?"
  • (Richard Keith) "I'm writing about things I know."
  • (Vivian Vance) "That won't be a novel that will be a short story"
  • (Vivian Vance) "This is Ethel, your friend, to whom you may turn in time of crisis."
  • (Richard Keith) "Ethel, have you been drinking?"
  • (Vivian Vance) "Where you afraid you'd lose me?"
  • (William Frawley) "I'll say, that outfit you're wearing is rented."
  • (Vivian Vance) "Oh, Lucy, I know you're not going to move, but if you ever do move, don't move."
  • (Vivian Vance) "Isn't that sweet? Just like two lovebirds."
  • (William Frawley) "What are you, a bird watcher?"
  • (Vivian Vance) "If I let my hair go like that you'd never let me hear the end of it."
  • (William Frawley) "Honeybunch, if the rest of you looked like that I wouldn't care if you were bald."
  • (Vivian Vance) "Gee, this high altitude sure gives me an appetite."
  • (William Frawley) "What's your excuse at sea level?"

William Frawley as Fred Mertz

  • (William Frawley) "Let's just hope for the best."
  • (Richard Keith) "Don't worry, Fred, Ethel'll come back."
  • (William Frawley) "I said let's hope for the BEST."
  • (William Frawley) "Now what are we supposed to do? Thumb a ride on a passing halibut?"
  • (William Frawley) "I was waiting for Ethel to say Trick or Treat."
  • (William Frawley) "Adam and Eve on a raft. Wreck'em."
  • (William Frawley) "We'll sue you."
  • (Richard Keith) "Yeah? We'll see who's gonna sue who."
  • (Richard Keith) "Yeah, we'll sue who's gonna see --"

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