It's a Gift Quotes

It's a Gift is a television show that debuted in 1970 . It's a Gift ended in 1970.

It features William LeBaron as producer, John Leipold in charge of musical score, and Henry Sharp (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

It's a Gift is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of It's a Gift is 68 minutes long. It's a Gift is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: W.C. Fields as Harold, Tom Bupp as Norman, Kathleen Howard as Amelia, Tammany Young as Everett, T. Roy Barnes as Insurance Salesman, Josephine Whittell as Mrs. Dunk, Morgan Wallace as Fitchmueller, Jean Rouverol as Mildred Bissonette, and Diana Lewis as Miss Dunk.

It's a Gift Quotes

Tom Bupp as Norman

• (Tom Bupp) "Hey Pop, who ya think is dying?"
• (W.C. Fields) "Dying what?"
• (Tom Bupp) "Uncle Bean is dying."
• (W.C. Fields) "Well you don't have to spit in my eye do ya?"

Kathleen Howard as Amelia

• (Kathleen Howard) "The only real money you'll ever have and you throw it away before you get your hands on a penny of it. What are you lying there for?"
• (W.C. Fields) "I'm tired."
• (Kathleen Howard) "Why don't you go to bed?"
• (W.C. Fields) "I thought I'd lie down and take a little nap first."

• (Kathleen Howard) "Wake up and go to sleep."

• (Kathleen Howard) "Seems pretty strange someone would call you from a maternity hospital in the middle of the night."
• (W.C. Fields) "They didn't call me from a maternity hospital. They called thinking this was the maternity hospital."
• (Kathleen Howard) "A likely story."

• (Kathleen Howard) "And no more drinking."
• (W.C. Fields) "Oh, no, no, no. Good night, dear."

• (Kathleen Howard) "Oh, look what you've done."
• (W.C. Fields) "She ran right in front of the car."
• (Kathleen Howard) "Why, it's a statue, you idiot. It's a Venus de Milo."

• (Kathleen Howard) "Those were my mother's feathers."
• (W.C. Fields) "Never knew your mother had feathers."

• (Kathleen Howard) "Why were you sitting there like a stone image when those men were insulting me?"
• (W.C. Fields) "I was just waiting for one of 'em to say something to me."

• (Kathleen Howard) "As I was saying; are you listening to me?"
• (W.C. Fields) "Eh, yes dear, yes dear, yes dear."
• (Kathleen Howard) "For twenty years, I've struggled to make a home for you and the children."
• (W.C. Fields) "That's right dear."
• (Kathleen Howard) "Slaving day-in, day-out, to make both ends meet. Sometimes I don't know which way to turn."
• (W.C. Fields) "Eh, turn over on your right side, dear. Sleeping on your left side's bad for the heart."

• (Kathleen Howard) "Harold."
• (W.C. Fields) "Don't argue with them, dear, they're beneath our dignity."

W.C. Fields as Harold

• (W.C. Fields) "Sufferin' sciatica."

• (Unnamed) "Just use your own judgment."
• (Unnamed) "You tell me where to go."
• (W.C. Fields) "I'd like to tell you both where to go."

• (W.C. Fields) "Shades of Bacchus."

• (W.C. Fields) "Ah, crackers. Good old crackers. That was a smart thing of me to bring those crackers along, wasn't it?"

• (W.C. Fields) "What did you let him turn the molasses on for?"
• (Tammany Young) "I told him I wouldn't do it if I was him."
• (W.C. Fields) "You told him you wouldn't do it if you was him. Get him outta here."

• (W.C. Fields) "Vegetable man? Vegetable gentleman?"

• (W.C. Fields) "This sun dial is ten minutes slow."
• (Kathleen Howard) "Yes, the sun is wrong but your watch is right, of course."

T. Roy Barnes as Insurance Salesman

• (T. Roy Barnes) "If you should live to be 100 --"
• (W.C. Fields) "And suppose I live to be 200, I'll get a velocipede."

Josephine Whittell as Mrs. Dunk

• (Josephine Whittell) "I'll take two pounds of round steak."
• (W.C. Fields) "Off the rump?"
• (Josephine Whittell) "Yes."
• (W.C. Fields) "Two round off the rump."

• (Josephine Whittell) "What do you have in the way of steaks?"
• (W.C. Fields) "Nothing in the way of steaks, I can get right to them."

• (Josephine Whittell) "Bessie, hurry up now."
• (Diana Lewis) "Alright, I'll hurry."
• (Josephine Whittell) "Don't forget the ipecac."
• (Diana Lewis) "I thought you said syrup of squill."
• (Josephine Whittell) "I can't hear you. Talk louder."
• (Diana Lewis) "I thought you said syrup of squill."
• (Josephine Whittell) "Alright, syrup of squill. I don't care."
• (Diana Lewis) "I don't care either. I'll get ipecac if you want me to."
• (Josephine Whittell) "Well ipecac or syrup of squill, I don't care which."
• (Diana Lewis) "I don't care either. You tell me what to get and I'll get it."
• (Josephine Whittell) "Get whichever one you want. I don't care. Whatever they have handy. Just the same to me."
• (Diana Lewis) "Ah, it's just the same to me too. I hate 'em both. Oh, where'll I go, to Jones's?"
• (Josephine Whittell) "Use your own judgement."
• (Diana Lewis) "No. You tell me where to go."
• (W.C. Fields) "I'd like to tell you both where to go."
• (Josephine Whittell) "There's no use dear, I can't hear a word you're saying. Somebody's shouting on the floor below, so you'd better go along."

Jean Rouverol as Mildred Bissonette

• (Jean Rouverol) "Dad, quick. Mother's fainted."
• (W.C. Fields) "Huh? Oh, here, here. Give her some of this reviver."
• (W.C. Fields) "Doesn't it taste good?"
• (Kathleen Howard) "Oh, you're an old idiot. But, I can't help loving you."
• (W.C. Fields) "Give her another drink."

• (Jean Rouverol) "I never knew such an ungrateful father."
• (W.C. Fields) "Listen, you've all got to realize one thing, that I am the Master of this house."
• (Kathleen Howard) "Harold."
• (W.C. Fields) "Yes dear."
• (Kathleen Howard) "I don't know why it is that every time I want to talk to you, you're off in some other part of the house. I have to shout. Shout. Shout. No wonder the neighbors know all about our private affairs. I give them enough opportunity as it is to find out what's going on, without you running away as if I had the small pox or something. Every time I open my mouth --"

Morgan Wallace as Fitchmueller

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