Jack (1996 film) Quotes

Jack (1996 film) is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . Jack stopped airing in 1970.

It features Ricardo Mestres, Francis Ford Coppola, and Fred Fuchs as producer, Michael Kamen in charge of musical score, and John Toll as head of cinematography.

Jack (1996 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Jack (1996 film) is 113 minutes long. Jack (1996 film) is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The cast includes: Bill Cosby as Lawrence Woodruff, Robin Williams as Jack, Marc Coppola as Eric, Adam Zolotin as Louis, Mario Yedidia as George, Jennifer Lopez as Miss Marquez, Diane Lane as Karen Powell, Brian Kerwin as Brian, Al Nalbandian as Principal McGee, Michael McKean as Paulie, Fran Drescher as Dolores, Seth Smith as John-John, Todd Bosley as Eddie, Keone Young as Dr. Lin, and Allan Rich as Dr. Benfante.

Jack (1996 film) Quotes

Robin Williams as Jack

• (Bartender) "What? What do you want?"
• (Robin Williams) "I'll have uh -- Shirley Temple with extra Marciano cherries"
• (Bartender) "Maraschino."
• (Robin Williams) "That's what I said, Maras- CHINO."
• (Michael McKean) "Get him a Madonna. Know who Madonna is right?"
• (Robin Williams) "Who?"
• (Michael McKean) "Shirley Temple without the cherry."

• (Angry Man) "That's the second time tonight. What are you stupid?"
• (Angry Man) "Woah woah, where you going? I want an apology."
• (Robin Williams) "I'm sorry."
• (Angry Man) "No, no, no, that's not gonna be good enough, sorry."
• (Robin Williams) "Well, I said I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Jeez, what is it with you? What are you totally hyper or something. you eat too much sugar?"
• (Angry Man) "What, do you think you're pretty smart?"
• (Robin Williams) "Yeah I do, got an A in everything except Social Studies."
• (Angry Man) "Studies? How'd you like to study my fist?"
• (Fran Drescher) "Hey hey hey, leave him alone, asshole. Come on, Mr. Powell."
• (Angry Man) "What's the matter man? You gonna let your girlfriend here stand up for you?"
• (Fran Drescher) "Just, let's go."
• (Robin Williams) "You know what your problem is, Mister? You have Exactly Disease."
• (Angry Man) "What's that?"
• (Robin Williams) "It's when your mouth smells EXACTLY LIKE YOUR BUTT."
• (Fran Drescher) "What, you get that from Louis? He always says that."
• (Angry Man) "And you're a loser."
• (Robin Williams) "Oh yeah, losers say what?"
• (Angry Man) "What?"
• (Robin Williams) "LOSER. Haha. Rubber, glue, sticks to you."
• (Fran Drescher) "What are you doing? This guy's very tough. Stop with this, let's go."
• (Angry Man) "I'm a loser? You're a son of a bitch."
• (Robin Williams) "I can't believe you said that. You cussed. Oh, you said the 'B' word. Oh, you're going to get in so much trouble. You really are."
• (Angry Man) "Here's some trouble."

• (Robin Williams) "Mom, am I a giant?"

• (Phoebe) "You don't look ten. Look, you've got the hairy arms. You've got hairy knuckles."
• (Jane) "You look a lot older than us."
• (Phoebe) "It looks like you shaved there."
• (Robin Williams) "Yeah, I do. So?"
• (Phoebe) "A ten year old doesn't shave. So then you can't be ten."
• (Jane) "Yes, you can't be ten if you shave and you have hairy arms and you're tall, really tall, and you're bigger."
• (Robin Williams) "So, I'm big for my age."

• (Robin Williams) "Hey dad. I got to play basketball today. They picked me. Not just because I'm humongous, because I'm real good. Yeah I scored a thousand points. Yeah right it was only a hundred. I'm kidding it was fourteen. I scored. Yea, and I met this really cool kid named Louie. Not Louis, Louie. Yeah. His mom gave me some matches."
• (Brian Kerwin) "Okay slow down buddy, slow down."
• (Robin Williams) "Hey dad, Louie has some dirty magazines under his bed. What are dirty magazines? I got to be principal. Well, I pretended to be. And I got a lot of homework to do. I got a great homework assignment. And you know what? Miss Marquez ate one of my red gummybears and she said 'way to go,' but not because of the red gummybears. Because of the way I play basketball. Yeah it was great. She said Shaq better watch his back. She's what grandpa says is a real piece of work. She's really great. What are you doing?"

• (Robin Williams) "I gotta go. I really got to go. Number one."

• (Robin Williams) "I would say he's probably the smartest kid in the whole school."
• (Robin Williams) "If not, maybe the smartest kid I've ever met."

• (Robin Williams) "What happened to Mr. McGee? I just talked to him on the phone."
• (Adam Zolotin) "I don't know what happened to Mr. McGee. Mr. Powell?"
• (Robin Williams) "He got diarrhea."
• (Fran Drescher) "Diarrhea?"
• (Robin Williams) "Yeah, he got diarrhea. And uh, he spewed. Threw up. And he had the squirts. He had diarrhea."
• (Fran Drescher) "Oh boy, that's more than I needed to know."

• (Officer at Jail) "Let's just get your stuff here, you can go."
• (Officer at Jail) "You've got a library card, pocket knife, Spiderman watch, Pez dispenser."
• (Robin Williams) "Where's my pog? It's a slammer."

• (Robin Williams) "Don't, or I'll tell."

• (Robin Williams) "Ow, don't."
• (Phoebe) "Are you a freak?"
• (Robin Williams) "No."
• (Phoebe) "Oh. Well Jane says that you're a freak."
• (Robin Williams) "Who's Jane?"
• (Jane) "I'm Jane and I think you are a freak. Look at your hairy arms and your eyebrows and --"
• (Phoebe) "Yeah, he has receding hairline."
• (Robin Williams) "Well, I'm not a freak."

• (Robin Williams) "Miss Marquez, I was thinking that maybe if you didn't have anything to do, you might want to go to the dance with me. It'd be really, really fun."
• (Jennifer Lopez) "Oh, Jackie."
• (Robin Williams) "So you wanna go? My mom will drive us."
• (Jennifer Lopez) "Jack, you don't wanna go with me. I'm an old lady."
• (Robin Williams) "That's why. That's why I wanna go with you. I can't go with the girls my age, because I look so much older than them. You look just like me."
• (Jennifer Lopez) "Jackie. Jack. You are still a very young man, up here"
• (Jennifer Lopez) ". I know I look closer to your age than the girls in class, you're right about that."
• (Robin Williams) "So what time should my mom and I pick you up?"
• (Jennifer Lopez) "Jack, you are my student, and I am your teacher. And teachers and students don't go to dances together. Do you understand that?"
• (Robin Williams) "Please?"
• (Jennifer Lopez) "No. I'm sorry honey. It just wouldn't be right."

• (Robin Williams) "What do I want to be when I grow up? Alive."

• (Robin Williams) "I'm not bald and I'm not a freak. You're a freak, four eyes."

• (Robin Williams) "Hey guys, I brought a friend, okay? This is Mr. Woodruff."
• (Todd Bosley) "Are you ten, too?"
• (Bill Cosby) "Uh, well if you ask my wife. No I'm afraid I'm just a regular, garden-variety old fart."

Mario Yedidia as George

• (Mario Yedidia) "I want to be a gynecologist."
• (Jennifer Lopez) "If that's so then I want good reasons why."
• (Mario Yedidia) "You're the reason why, Miss Marquez."

• (Mario Yedidia) "Hey Jack, ever get a boner? You know, an erector."
• (Robin Williams) "Not yet, I'm hoping to get one for Christmas."

• (Mario Yedidia) "So Jack, you bought that magazine?"
• (Robin Williams) "Yeah, I buy 'em all the time."
• (Mario Yedidia) "What about Hustler? You get Hustler?"
• (Robin Williams) "If you want it."
• (Todd Bosley) "Swank?"
• (Robin Williams) "Yeah, that and uh, you know, all the grown-up stuff that only grown-ups can read."
• (Mario Yedidia) "Cool. And they don't give you no trouble in buying them? I mean like they don't ask for ID?"
• (Robin Williams) "No. You know, I just don't shave for a day and I look like I'm fifty."

Diane Lane as Karen Powell

• (Diane Lane) "You know how children are. They make fun of a fat kid or a kid who wears glasses. What do you think they're going to do to a six-foot hairy kid?"

• (Diane Lane) "Woodruff doesn't know what he's talking about."
• (Brian Kerwin) "If he doesn't know what he's talking about, then why are we paying him all this money to tutor Jack?"
• (Diane Lane) "I blame him for filling Jack's head with all these ideas of going to school."
• (Brian Kerwin) "Imagine that, a teacher wanting a kid to go to school."

• (Diane Lane) "You sure he'll be all right?"
• (Brian Kerwin) "Honey, he'll be fine."
• (Brian Kerwin) "It's the rest of the world I'm worried about."

Fran Drescher as Dolores

• (Fran Drescher) "Here's my number at work. You can reach me there any time."
• (Robin Williams) "My mom said I shouldn't play with matches."

• (Fran Drescher) "You're so gallant, you man you."

Brian Kerwin as Brian

• (Brian Kerwin) "You know I was just thinking about the first time you ever rode a bike. Remember that?"
• (Robin Williams) "Oh yeah."
• (Brian Kerwin) "You were so determined to ride. You kept wiping out and nearly took out a couple of the neighbors. It took a couple days until you finally got it, and look at you now. I mean, you're riding like a pro."

Jennifer Lopez as Miss Marquez

• (Jennifer Lopez) "We're gonna have to change your name from Jack to Shaq. Nice shooting, way to go."

Keone Young as Dr. Lin

• (Keone Young) "I want to assure you both that there is nothing debilitating about your son's condition. He's totally healthy, normal in appearance, alert and quite happy. However, his cells are developing at what we feel is four times the normal rate. Even though your son was only ten weeks old when he was born, physically he was nine months and ready to leave your womb."
• (Allan Rich) "Nature has given us all an internal clock. It meters out lifespan; controls our growth. Your son's internal clock seems to be ticking faster than usual."

Adam Zolotin as Louis

• (Adam Zolotin) "Hey you, you shoot hoops?"
• (Robin Williams) "Who me?"
• (Adam Zolotin) "No, the 40-year-old kid behind you."

• (Adam Zolotin) "I kinda haven't done homework since the third grade."
• (Robin Williams) "Whoa, your dog must be pretty full."

• (Adam Zolotin) "I want to be just like my best friend when I grow up. He's only ten but he looks much older. He's like the perfect grown-up because on the inside, he's still just a kid. He's not afraid to learn things or try things, or to meet new people the way most grown-ups are. It's like he's looking at everything for the first time; because he is. And most grown-ups aren't like that. Most grown-ups just wanna go to work and make money and show off for the neighbors. And more than anything, he knows how to be a great friend, more than most people that look like adults. So I might not know what I wanna be when I grow up, and right now I really don't care. But I do know who I wanna be like. I wanna be like the giant. The big guy. My best friend. Jack. Thank you."

• (Adam Zolotin) "Hey, I brought Jack. He's right down there."
• (Seth Smith) "You brought the freak?"
• (Adam Zolotin) "He's not a freak."
• (Seth Smith) "You said he was a freak."
• (Adam Zolotin) "Yeah, I said wrong alright? Get over it. He's cool. He knows how to shoot hoops. And he did me a favor today. Here, check this out. Look what he picked up on the way over."
• (Seth Smith) "He bought that?"
• (Adam Zolotin) "Eh eh."
• (Seth Smith) "No way."
• (Adam Zolotin) "Way. Walked right into the store and picked it up. No fear, nothing. My man's the man."
• (Seth Smith) "That is way cool."
• (Todd Bosley) "Wish I was a freak."
• (Adam Zolotin) "Hey, lay off the freak stuff, alright? Jack's cool. And you gotta let him kick it with us. If he walks, Penthouse walks too."

• (Adam Zolotin) "You know what your problem is, Victor? You have Exactly Disease."
• (Victor) "What's that?"
• (Adam Zolotin) "It's when your mouth smells exactly like your butt."

Bill Cosby as Lawrence Woodruff

• (Bill Cosby) "You know why I like to teach children, Jack? So I don't get so wrapped up in being an adult. So I can remember there are other things that are important in life; like riding a bike, playing in a treehouse, splashing in water with your good shoes on. And you, my friend, were my most special student. And until recently, you were everything I ever wanted in a student. You were a shooting star amongst ordinary stars. Have you ever seen a shooting star, Jack?"
• (Robin Williams) "No."
• (Bill Cosby) "It's wonderful. It passes quickly, but while it's here it just lights up the whole sky; it's the most beautiful thing you'd ever want to see. So beautiful that the other stars stop and watch. You almost never see one."
• (Robin Williams) "Why not?"
• (Bill Cosby) "Beacuse they're very rare. Quite rare. But I saw one. I did."
• (Robin Williams) "I just want to be a regular star."
• (Bill Cosby) "Jack, you'll never be regular. You're spectacular."

Al Nalbandian as Principal McGee

• (Al Nalbandian) "I'm Mr. McGee. I've heard so much about you, Jack."
• (Robin Williams) "Hi, Mr. Magoo."
• (Al Nalbandian) "McGee."
• (Robin Williams) "McGee."
• (Al Nalbandian) "Yes."
• (Robin Williams) "Magoo."

• (Al Nalbandian) "This place is for fun."

• (Al Nalbandian) "Jack, how would you like to see your classroom?"
• (Robin Williams) "Yes."
• (Al Nalbandian) "A little louder."
• (Robin Williams) "Yes."
• (Al Nalbandian) "A little louder, Jack."
• (Robin Williams) "YES."

Michael McKean as Paulie

• (Michael McKean) "Bet you could crack walnuts on her ass, too."

Seth Smith as John-John

• (Seth Smith) "You think our moms look like that?"
• (Mario Yedidia) "Nah, only Penthouse girls look like that. They're special. I mean like, they come from a special part of the country or something."

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