Jersey Girl (2004 film) Quotes

Jersey Girl (2004 film) is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . Jersey Girl stopped airing in 1970.

It features Scott Mosier as producer, James L. Venable in charge of musical score, and Vilmos Zsigmond as head of cinematography.

Jersey Girl (2004 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Jersey Girl (2004 film) is 102 minutes long. Jersey Girl (2004 film) is distributed by Miramax Films.

The cast includes: Ben Affleck as Ollie, Jennifer Lopez as Gertrude Steiney, Liv Tyler as Maya, Raquel Castro as Gertie, George Carlin as Bart, Paulie Litt as Bryan, and Stephen Root as Greenie.

Jersey Girl (2004 film) Quotes

George Carlin as Bart

• (George Carlin) "You know, you really had me scared for a moment there."
• (Ben Affleck) "Awww, who knew. All these years you were nursing a little stage fright."
• (George Carlin) "Not that, smart-ass."

• (George Carlin) "Sun even shines on a dog's ass some days."
• (Stephen Root) "You gettin' a dog?"

• (George Carlin) "If Gertie could see the s*** you've been pulling."
• (Ben Affleck) "Gertie can't see anything, Dad. She's dead."
• (George Carlin) "That's right, she is. But you ain't. And neither is that kid."

• (George Carlin) "Try acting like a father, s***-head."

Liv Tyler as Maya

• (Liv Tyler) "Man cannot live on porn alone."

• (Liv Tyler) "I do it at least twice a day."
• (Ben Affleck) "Good God."

• (Liv Tyler) "That was kinda sweet. I'm kinda crushin' on you right now, Trinke."

• (Liv Tyler) "Forget about what you thought you were and just accept who you are."

Ben Affleck as Ollie

• (Ben Affleck) "Come on, Dad. Don't you wanna live alone again?"
• (George Carlin) "Not as much as I don't wanna die alone."

• (Ben Affleck) "No, that's OK, I'll stay here and do the dishes. I only cooked, why shouldn't I clean?"
• (George Carlin) "Suit yourself. Don't wash that pan, I got a nice layer of juice built up for the pork roll, and I don't want you scrubbing it off."
• (Ben Affleck) "That 'juice' is called grease, dad. It's bad for you. It clogs your arteries."
• (George Carlin) "It's called 'juice'. And it greases your father's insides so he can better swallow the s*** his son feeds him twice a year, when he can be bothered to come to visit him."

• (Ben Affleck) "Isn't that cute? It's 8 o'clock and you both get a bottle."

• (Will Smith) "'Ey, you Brickman?"
• (Ben Affleck) "No. I'm just a guy who'd rather play in the dirt with his kid."

• (Will Smith) "What's your daughter's name?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Gertrude."
• (Will Smith) "Damn, why'd you do that man?"

• (Ben Affleck) "Do you have any questions about what you saw?"
• (Raquel Castro) "Do you have what Brian has?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Yes."
• (Raquel Castro) "Is it as big as his?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Sadly, yes."

• (Ben Affleck) "George Michael is all about the ladies. "I want your sex". Does that sound like he's singing to a guy?"

• (Ben Affleck) "Convincing a town to approve something that's already in their best interest, that's just delayed common sense."

• (Ben Affleck) "Why don't you go get yourself a boyfriend?"
• (Liv Tyler) "Why don't you go get yourself a girlfriend?"
• (Ben Affleck) "I spend all day working and spend all night with my kid."
• (Liv Tyler) "So you would rather spend time with your daughter than get laid?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Yeah."
• (Liv Tyler) "That's sweet. I'm kind of crushing on you, Trinke."

• (Ben Affleck) ""Cats" is the second-worst thing that ever happened to New York City."

Raquel Castro as Gertie

• (Raquel Castro) "Thank you, Daddy."
• (Ben Affleck) "Anything for you, Gert. You know why?"
• (Raquel Castro) "Why?"
• (Ben Affleck) "'Cause you're the only thing I was ever really good at."

• (Raquel Castro) "Hey. You're the lady from the video store."
• (Ben Affleck) "Let's not use that term too loosely, okay? Go back and watch your video."

• (Raquel Castro) "I hate you. I hate you. I wish you died, not MOMMY."
• (Ben Affleck) "I hate you right back you little s***. You and your mom took my life away from me. I just want it back."

• (Raquel Castro) "Punch it, Chewie."

• (Raquel Castro) "You should be a dance teacher, like Johnny in "Dirty Dancing.""
• (Ben Affleck) "l should? Should l say, ''Nobody puts Baby in a corner''?"
• (Raquel Castro) "Oh, can we rent "Dirty Dancing" again?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Ohh -- "Dirty Dancing" ranks one notch below "Cats" in my book. Can you pick out something else?"
• (Raquel Castro) "Can we rent this?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Absolutely not. Go pick out something from the children's section."
• (Raquel Castro) "All those movies suck."
• (Ben Affleck) "Watch your language."

• (Raquel Castro) "Did Mommy like New York?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Yeah, she loved it."
• (Raquel Castro) "Then I guess I will too."

Paulie Litt as Bryan

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Jennifer Lopez as Gertrude Steiney

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